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My life is pathetic

Posted by P Diddy at June 6, 2010
Tags: 2010 June  Juvenile problems

My life could be better. Where do I begin...

Well I tend to keep to myself, especially in school. I had a group of friends who were also kind of unpopular. I guess you could say that I was in the unpopular group in high school.

There was this girl who I had a crush on for 7 or so years. I never had the courage to talk to her. During senior year in high school I was in the school news club with my friend... who wasn't really a social smart person. The idea of the club is to pretty much make fake news and such, it was fun. The girl I loved for 7 years was also in the club. My friend would tell me that I wouldn't stand a chance with her because I don't have the sack to talk to her. And unfortunately I think he was right. But fortunately for me my group and her group merged because I was stuck in a group of two (me and my friend of course). During the merge we talked to each other a little and I thought she liked me at first. But then later I found out that she had a boyfriend. After that I felt really depressed. It was hard for me to get out of bed everyday. Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep because I think for the rest of my life I would feel alone.

After finding out that the love of my life was interested in another guy, my friend would tell me that he was right and that I will always be alone. After that the rest of the people in my social group would start saying the same thing. In a sense they betrayed me.

I graduated from high school and summer came. I didn't hang out with anyone. I was alone the whole time. I would spend most of my days playing facebook games and surfing youtube.

Then college came along. It was my freshman year. Personally I thought they were the best years of my life but that's when you appreciate the few fun days I had there.

Well Ill start off with the good stuff because it's hard for me to keep talking like this.

Well, I made a couple friends these friends included my roomate sort of. I was a part of the fencing team and I made good friends with them too. They got me drunk once and I felt happy in the end. One of my friends (who didn't betray me but you will find out why I don't talk to him) decided to let me try weed. It felt good and relaxing.

Unfortunately while good things were happening... worse things were happening. I said before that my roomate was considered a friend. Well that's not really true. I am convinced that he is a narcissist. The moment I met him he knew that I was emotionally broken and he would feed off my sadness. He would randomly ask me questions regarding my past. He was also negative, much worse than my old friends who betrayed me. He pretty much would tell me his own sick philosophy of the world. He thinks that most people in the world should die but i wont go into detail. He would give me advice about women even though he has never had a girlfriend himself probably because he is incapable of having and feelings for anyone.

But there is more. One of the other friends I had took his side. This other friend is similar but not extreme. He thought smoking weed was a dumb idea and that most of my feelings I should get over with. both of them would make fun of me for trying drugs. They would say that I fell for peer pressure and that I was weak. I am positive that even to this day they make fun of me behind my back. What I did like about the second friend was that he would always try to argue with my roomate that what he thinks about life is terrible and most people would disagree with him. I usually didn't get involved but when both asked for my opinions I usually went against my roomate. Of course my roomate claims that I only disagree with him because he thinks that I hate him(and he is correct).

The weeks of struggling with my roomate and sometimes the other friend (if you can even call him a friend) made me depressed. The first semester I barely made over a 2.0 GPA so I avoided academic probation. But second semester was too much for me. My roomate was getting worse. I was feeling more and more depressed. I didn't have the fencing club that semester. I felt so depressed I started sleeping through the day. I missed all my classes and eventually I dropped out. What makes me sick is that my roomate was happy about this. Instead of thinking about why I left he could only think about how his dorm is now a single.

I'm not sure how I can make it through life. All the social anxiety is getting to me. I've been seeing a psychiatrist and it seems to help a little but I just get so stressed out over this. There is so much more to but that would make this story too long (not that it already isn't).


Similar Entries:
untitled story January 28, 2012
Karma is a Bitch October 10, 2011
Pessimistic introvert June 8, 2012
Im so pathetic its sad.. really.. April 16, 2012
untitled story April 1, 2012

New Comment

By hmmmmm Impalement at 10,Jun,10 00:12

You should kill yourself. Your life is hopeless and meaningless. This was funny to read. It made me feel much better about myself.
By anonymous at 10,Jun,10 15:35

why this faggot is still alive?

By at 10,Jun,10 11:02

Yes life sucks but killing yourself is not a good idea. The guy that posted that is a DICK Knuckle! You will come to dicover over time that in order to be liked you must trule like yourself first. If you are seeing a psychiatrist then you are probably taking Meds. If this is true then smoking dope and drinking is the worst thing you can do. It just makes things worse. Maybe you should try going to some type of group like AA or NA. You would be suprised to find how many people have stories like yours. JRL
By anonymous at 16,Jul,11 20:56

Smoking dope is NOT the worst thing you can do. You have clearly never smoked marijuana. Smoking marijuana can give you a new perspective and new ideas about yourself and your entire life. You can see things more objectively and see what positive changes you can make in your life to improve it. 12 step programs are destructive to your psyche as they will suck you in, tell you that you have no chance of making it on your own and that you must continue attending meetings filled with whining losers for the rest of your life or you will die or wind up in prison. 12 step programs are brainwashing cults- STAY AWAY ! ! !

By anonymous at 11,Jun,10 00:46

@hmmmmm Impalement
The fuck is your problem? It makes me sick to think that scum human beings like you even exist. Go to hell.
By at 12,Jun,10 09:12

impalement douchebag tried to get into hell last week. His putrid stench overpowered the burning brimstone odor. Even my three-headed demon dog, Cerberus, started puking from his foul stench when he arrived. When he comes back, we will have to lower our standards to let him in. We usually do not allow faggot douchebags with AIDS, Herpes and crab lice. Douchebag man will share a cell with Jeffrey Dahmer.
By God at 12,Jun,10 18:45

"...Agreed. Keep Impalement in."

We do not tolerate Douche-baggery nor needle-dick syndrome in my kingdom.

By anonymous at 11,Jun,10 02:04

CHRISTOPHER CLARK you have brought misfortunes to my life, I wish i would have never met you. i dont know your life is not that bad. life cant be perfect I guess. I envy those people who have found love and that love is pure and genuin. In my case life really suck right now. Before I met this guy I felt really lonely so I went into a dating website in hopes to find somebody to love. Well after many love failure I believed I found that guy. We taled for like 3 months of talking we decided to move in together. Sounds crazy but so we did because we felt really we were the one for each other. I moved in with him eventhough my parents and friends didnt agree with it. after a month of being living together we got into a BIG FIGHT SO I MOVED OUT. but at that point i was truly in love with the guy so i couldnt just let him go. so i went back to my old place n got my job back. after a month i qick my job without giving an early notice and i left he room where i was paying for with an excellent tenant. after loosing a whole seester at school n after everybody was against it, i went back with him. after two days of living with the guy i found out in the time we were not together (but still talking) he was cheating on me with her ex. i decided to fprgive him cuz after all i couldnt go back to my old place n job anymore n cux i really loved him. so he swear he would never talk to his ex again n i believed him. the guy put me through hell cuz he didnt trsuted me. he was to check my phone daily , all the websites i was at, well everything. i never cheated on him. i never even thought about cheating cuz i felt we really had a commitmet even after i found what i found about his ex. . now after a year of being together he just told me that am not the person he wants in his life. he used to tell me that all the time n then then the next day everything was fine. so i never took that seriously. however lately we got into a big fight n he said he was tired n it was time to move on. so how am supppose to do that if i still truly love him. i left my family, my school, my job, my estability all cuzx of him. i understand it was my decision n i gotta be responsible for it but it isjust not fare. i thought he was the one n i never realized how far we were getting from each other. now i have to move out from his place. im in a county where i dont know anybody, i have no money cuz he didnt let me work, i need to go to see my mom to my country (who's expecting me on august) n school wil be here soon. i already applied for a job but starting from zero wont be easy. i dont have a phone, i need to buy a new laptop, pay for rent, n pay my travel expenses, n get ready for school all in two months. i found out this guy started talking with others girls while am still living here which is really humiliating. i still love him n i wish i could get this love out of my heart but i dont know how. IT IS FRUSTRATING THE PERSO U LOVE DOESNT LOVE YOU BACK. it is just not fair. I just want to be happy n be loved. why is that soo hard to get? i have a strong reason to get on my feet which is my mother. she is very important for me and for her i need to overcome this. right now am in the couch trying to forget about my love. with a beer bottle in my hands waiting for my ex. AM A LIL DRUNK BY NOW. DONT KNOW HOW AM TYING BUT SAYING WATS IN MY MIND HELPS ME FEEL BETTER. who i might be fucking somebody right now while am just here dying to be loved by him. LIFE IS UNFAIR!
By anonymous at 11,Jun,10 02:10

he sYS THAT BACAUSSE OF MY BEHAVIOR AM NOT THE PERSON FOR HIM but the truth is that I would give him the world for a final chance. he is truly my world. n even though he himself has been far from perfection, i still love him a lot even though he treats me like a piece of garbage now all becausse he doesnt want me anymore. but he is still my life and he still means the world to me. HOW CAN I FIX A BROKEN HEART???
By anonymous at 11,Jun,10 02:23

By hmmmmm Impalement at 11,Jun,10 12:22

You have to be the most pathetic person I have ever met. True love doesn't exist. Life has no meaning. You are all empty. End your life, more people will be happy that way.
By anonymous at 16,Jul,11 20:59


By anonymous at 18,Jun,12 13:56

my life sucks i have 3 kids im getting evicted from my house any day im married but my husband gambels all of our money away im totally misrable every day what do i do?

By anonymous at 20,Aug,12 17:50

I randomly stumbled upon your post by typing: ''my life is pathetic'' into Google haha

I felt interested to read your story and I'm glad I did. If I've learned anything from several things that have happened to me it's that: YES, TIME DOES HEAL ALL WOUNDS!

And I cannot BELIEVE some one would actually comment something like this: ''You should kill yourself. Your life is hopeless and meaningless. This was funny to read. It made me feel much better about myself.''

Who ever did that is inconsiderate, immature and a straight out asshole

By anonymous at 12,Sep,12 23:28

Don't kill yourself. Dont listen to these other faggots. Especially that mother fuckin hmmmmm Impalement guy. There are several ways to straighten out your life. Try going to a center where they'll cure you of your drug addiction, and don't worry about love yet...there is a women out there just like you, hoping to meet you someday. Fuck that one roommate you were talking about, just because he is an idiot to society just means you should be the better man and have your own beliefs.your life doesn't suck just cause you ain't with your school sweetheart or because your friends treat you like shit... Trust me I speak with experience. But you still have a loving family, your alive, your full of knowledge, and yet your depressed. And hmmmmmmmm Impalement your a faggot.

By crorkz at 15,Jan,15 19:59

Tdt0eT You made some first rate points there. I regarded on the web for the problem and found most individuals will associate with with your website.

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