I have a huge fear of emotional intimacy and I’m too self-conscious to admit it. I have a lot of trouble sharing my feelings with other people and taking the first step in any type of relationship, either friendship or something more serious. I’m usually the guy that listens to other peoples problems and keeps their secrets and helps them when possible, and yet I’m simply unable to share my own problems.
I have a lot of trouble trusting people, which leaves me feeling empty, like I never really connect with anyone on a deeper level. All my relationships feel superficial, I feel like people only come to me when they need me. If I go away for a longer period of time I notice that people don’t keep in touch with me at all. This makes me feel rejected in an indirect way, I feel like I’m not interesting enough, maybe because I push people away and don’t truly share myself with others? Maybe if I shared my weakness with others they would help me break out of this mindset...
I’m currently in college and I feel like I’m doing well, I’m making a few new friends and we’re all having fun, I feel like they have the potential to become really good friends. However, none of us live in the same town, and when the holidays start I know we won’t keep in touch anymore. It has happened before. This thought terrifies me. Sure, everyone knows that most people you meet in college will never be your friends for the rest of your life, but it really hurts to lose the few friends that I do have. To make matters worse we’re graduating this year, which means that in 2 months we will never see each other again. And my loneliness will once again come in full force.
Then off we go, looking for careers, never knowing where we’re going to end up. Maybe a different town/city, maybe even a different country (which seems very likely considering how bad the economy is right now... I’m from Portugal btw). It’s all so unpredictable... School life doesn’t last very long, college life doesn’t either, jobs don’t last nowadays. We’re always moving, never settling down, always meeting different people, leaving others behind, our lives are so short and we never really manage to connect with anyone, we’re surrounded by people but we’re always alone. | |
Drug abuse? robbery? - that shit is your choice. If you feel bad but decided to in first place: F.U. Life doesnt suck in that cases: YOU SUCK.
Loneliness is a bitch, and one of the worst "diseases" nowadays. For people that is easy to share and open to others this will seem stupid, but not for us. Try getting on the other shoes.
Im very similar to you LP.
My worst fear in a relationship (friend or GF) is that the other one would get bored of me with time.
Like you said: Use me and get rid of me.
And this is not a fear without foundation: happened to me a lot of times on my school years (in and outside school)
Because of this i dont want to get too close to people.
Dont know what else to say. Its late in here and my brains is starting to fail a bit xD. But this kind of problem is something only us can fix, you cant wait or depend on others. Obviously, having others will help, but the first step is ours to be done first.
man i've been with her since my twenties. I dont even know how to hit on a woman anymore cause i need one cause i'm lonely.
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