I feel so alone...
When I was a child, maby 4 years old... my older brother used to rape me. My mother then noticed but she didn't tell anybody about it so I had to keep the secret with me.
I still live with my brother and my mother and the rest of my family, now they all know about what happened but they decided to forgive him and think I'm a happy person because I have a house, and they love me, and they treat me right.
My brother stopped touching me like 12 years ago... more or less. I'm 17 years old right now.
But sometimes it's hard to live whit them.
I have a long-distance relationship, because my boyfriend moved... He told me he would come back like hal-year ago but he never did.
Sometimes he gets angry and he gets a little rude with me... sometimes he call me "whore" or "stupid ungrateful child" (he's 22)... then he telle me he loves me, but he still keeps hurting me saying he will come back here when he won't.
He tells me that I'm a sick person and nobody will love me the way I am (I have a neurological disease: headaches, psychosis or being depressed), that any guy who talk to me only wants to play with me or fuck me... but he's the only one who loves me.
My life sucks so bad... I'm sick, I'm alone, my family doesn't have money, my boyfriend treats me bad (even though I love him), I remember when my broder raped me every goddamn day of my life.
I'm doom to be unhappy forever.