I'm 32 yrs old been married for 12 yrs. I had my daughter prematurely. She is a special needs child. This was about the darkest time in my life. My husband couldn't accept it and turned to drugs and alcohol. He's never been a good husband but I dealt with it because I loved him. Well now we have 2 more children 5 and 1. He quit the alcohol and drugs and he shockingly became a good daddy. Well a few months ago I found out he had a girlfriend. He's gone at work everyother week so he had no problems hiding it. Well about a month or so into his relationship I found out. I was devestated. I accepted him back for my kids sake. Also I really don't think at this point anyone else would want me. I have no family here where we live now. I'm surrounded by his family. I have no friends, no one to relate to. We live in the country so its hard for me to get out. We rely on one vehicle so most of the time I'm stuck at home. I'm afraid to be a single mom so I suffer in silence. Loneliness consumes me. I can't provide for my kids like he can and since I quit school to care for my daughter I only managed to get my GED. I feel trapped and lonely. Wondering if this is it. Is this what my life is reduced to? Total unhappiness. The only thing that gets me up in the a.m. is my kids. Well thanks for letting me vent. Maybe some day ill see the light at the end of the tunnel.