you know what, life is absolutely shit sometimes.
everything could still be the same, but because of the way you feel due to somebody's else comment, or somebody's behaviour towards you, or just a bad feeling due to anything, can turn everything upside down and make you feel absolutely horrible about the same things that you were so happy about the day before!
i am a young woman with not much solid guidance in life. i feel so confused sometimes about things, especially with advice, or the way other people treat me. I don't know if I should accept things that people say, or speak up and let them know when I think that they are wrong. the problem is, sometimes, i think they are absolutely totally wrong and i want to speak up but i know that will put me into trouble so i try to shut up. :/
another thing i am upset about? i am tactless. i can have conversations or interactions with people where i am so tactless that they conceive me wrongly making me feel bad and wondering if i should bother explaining anything to them or if i should just shut up and hope that they forget :/ :/
oh wait, one more thing!!! i am a terrible listener. i do not find other people's stories interesting... unless it is something that is unusual or simply terribly interesting. this has made it quite difficult for me when i try to socialise, as i often find myself drifting away mid-conversation. and it is very embarassing when i don't remember some details that someone has just told me, like their name or their nationality!
ONE more thing
men. need i say more.it seems so clear yet i am so confused. the worst thing is that i am so afraid of putting myself in another vulnerable position that i have made myself unavailable to many many people/
ONEmore thing, please. i swear this is the last.
at work, i am down at the bottom of the hierarchy. a lot of time when something is wrong, other people assume it is my fault! what do i do? say no it wasn't me! (that makes me sound defensive), or just smile and laugh ( i have done that it's not good). Whatever shall i do!!!
If anyone, anyone at all, I don't care who you are or where you are from, should care to give me some advice on any of my woes or dilemmas, i should forever be grateful to you.
much love, now i will finish my wine...