As I said, everyone has a story. I haven't always had the best of luck period, and it irritates me that I have to work harder then some for everything. I am now 32 years old and still renting, I have never been married or have any kids. I have yet to have any dream come true. I feel like life forgot about me. For the last 5 years I spent my life with a man who had money but who was a junkie, alcoholic and who had a gambling problem and who only cared about himself. He put me down a lot. I also had a good income but was laid off for months in the end. When I was with him I lived 2800 miles from any family and friends, then a couple of years ago he moves me back "home" which was his intent on getting rid of me, which I didn't know at the time. However, he up and left me to pay for everything. I then had to file for bankruptcy. Which was ok but I couldn't even pay for living expenses and most times had to sell things to pay the bills. Forget trying to find a better job, my province has one of the highest unemployment rates in Canada.
Then my best friend who I was in love with ended up dying in his sleep from heart failure at 39 years of age. I was devastated and dealt with the pain and grief on my own for months. I started drinking to self medicate. Eventually I ended up on antidepressants, which wouldn't be my first time. Because of the antidepressants I then gained 25 lbs in a year!
Oh I also used my RRSP to live on and upgrade some courses because I had been trying to get into a health related field program at college for the last 3 years. I have been on a wait list and finally got accepted. Now that I got accepted I can't get a student loan even though I didn't include my old student loan in my bankruptcy and they assured me before I filed that it wouldn't be a problem. BUT IT IS!!! So now here I sit 2 months away from starting school and don't know how I am going to be able to go. I can't even better myself. I recently moved from a lovely 3 bedroom, quiet country like house into a 1 bedroom basement apartment in someones house and I can hear everything upstairs.
I also have a few health problems that get in the way, like back problem (scoliosis), IBS and interstitial cystitis, acid reflux and a fibroid in my uterus, anxiety and depression. Which I think mostly all would disappear, if I could get somewhere and stop stressing with things. I don't have any friends and don't have a close relationship with my parents or sister. I wish I did, but my parents and sister have never been supportive of anything I did.
My new boyfriend is great except for the fact we haven't really had sex yet because of his lack of an erection. He is 34 and we been together for a year now. So with that and my fibroid and my age and lack of money, the chances of us ever having kids is slim. So what is my PURPOSE? I have been trying to be positive despite it all.
In the past couple years I have lost a lot and and almost been homeless. I went from feeling pretty good and confident to feeling so small. I know there are people worse off then me, thats all I got to go on, to keep on keeping on.