i dont even know why im on this site. i dont even know why im alive. i dont fucking care. i am socially akward.i neva actually had alot of frends. other kids treated me like shit in jnr school, hell i didnt know , how cud i, i dont see the world as you do. in time i developed a bad stutter and i was further teased, all the world meant to me was video games and this one girl, i loved her. i was shut down quite hrshly lol.i just dont get it. i was further eased and humiliated to snr schoo. do you know wat it was like to be pushed away. to neva have someone to talk to. i sat in the classroom every break. sometimes i cried in class but i just said it was my contacts. i dont 'hang out' on the weekend getting drunk with millions of frends that always are there for u. i was repeatdly called 'gay' 'fag' 'that fucking retard' etc etc i spend most of my time listening to linkin park and other bands.( i live in africa so listening to rock is considered gay).i cry myself to sleep with the uilt f all those times i fucked up i was always the loner and i never wanted anyone to go near me.i have attemmpted sucicde once and i failed (dont ask)so i'll just have to cut myself for now ( ps slitting doesent give u as much a rush as stabbing with pins) . all i ve eva wanted was a girlfrend, someone to talk to, to hold and for someone to tell me that its ok. but no just plagued to live the rest of my life as some loveless fucking idoit with no life. i fucking hate mself. have you ever felt a void, a hole no matter how hard u try u neva qutie feel happy. i always had a dream to become a famous aactor donate money to charity, marry a beuatilful wife and have lots of kids and show all of those motherfuckers. but we all hav to face the reallty that is a fucking dream u cant wake up from. i am an athiest by choice and if ur not no matter wat u do dont stop loving ur god because i evny u, for all u church fuckers who are all in a flase sense of fucking security but i cant knowing its all a fucking lie. my life may not seem as bad as some other people but o well thats my story wats urs.
its all lies
wake from the delusional dream
that is life
when i throw my life away
it will be over
when death wraps its warm loving embrace
that u could sleep in for a thousand years
but not knowing
not knowing
wat lies ont the other side
but knowing
knowing
its all lies
a poem i made :) | |
But linkin park is awesome!
Other country - same shit.
Greetings from Germany
I know whats it like being abused and tormented at school. When I was young, I literally hated my life and felt like no one loved me. I tried to kill myself on several occasions by hanging myself or stabbing myself. I'm glad I never succeeded because now I live a half a world away from that horrible place with many friends and surrounded by people also. I was an atheist before my new life, now I am a christian. If you are trying to fill a void in your soul, and you can see people who love God and Christ being happy, maybe there is something to it. I gave it a chance and it changed my life. All those people who go to church and love God, they are not happy because they lie to themselves, but because that hole in their soul is filled with love, love from God and from other people. You need lots of love brother, I'll be praying for you.
FUCK AFRICA
New Comment