I am a 28yrs old woman. Single and stuck in a bullshit job that will never lead me anywhere.As a child I was born a premature baby & the doctors gave me only 6 months to live. Someone I managed to survive only now I wish I hadn't. This is a story of how my life sucks.
My dad & mom had a terrible marriage.It was a arranged marriage. They never loved each other & my dad accused us of not being his children. My brother & I had to take a painful blood test just to prove that we were indeed his and following that it was a case of a terrible divorce and eventually led to my father committing suicide. I was only 10 then.
Following that mom was always working, trying the settle debts my dad left behind & too tired to talk to me.I could not really blamed her as she herself might have felt that her life sucks.I was always alone with my brother. Soon after my brother started to physically abuse me, kicking me on my stomach,face & the other parts. This stopped when he eventually left the house.
In school the kids always made fun of me and used to call me crazy and specky. None of them really wanted to be my friends. I always felt like an outcast and many times I spent recess time alone.
At the age of 16, I developed an ovarian benign tumor that grow so big that people actually thought I was pregnant. I had to be hospitalized and had to have the left side of my ovary cut off and am left with a bad keloid scar on my stomach that is 15cm long. Till now it hurts badly when I get my menses and I ever wonder is I could ever produce children.
My mom,a sickly woman with diabetes type 3 & high blood pressure. She had to stop working and soon after I got my diploma, I had to work to support my family. I always wanted to do my degree & get my driving licence but it seems impossible now with my current financial situation.Recently she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had to take up another job in the evening and pay through my nose to settle the medical bills and am also currently trying the buy back the jewelery we had pawned and this adds on to my financial burden.
With all these problems, I wonder if I would ever be settled in life. My life is a huge question mark. Many times I felt like committing suicide just like my dad did.I try to be positive but another problem always seems to pop out. The men in my life I met all made use of me either for body or money. None of then every loved me even though I always try to give my all. Surprisingly these guys have all settled happily from what I seen & heard.
I know that I am not the only one with problems in my life. I was never one to complain. It seems that 90% of my life is filled with problems. I asked God when will my life get better.