Im 26 yrs old and i have absolutely no family or friends. My mom remarried wen i was 8 to some asshole who abused me physically n mentally then convinced her to kick me out on my 18 th birhtday.so into the streets i went no education,car,or money. Stupidly i got involved with this crazy bipolar girl who cheats on me, and i have no where to go.ive suffered thru being with this person for 8 yrs cuz i have nothing. I had a heroin problem from age 18 to 24 and i got on methadone like two yrs ago but since i dont have a car i hafta rely on crazy girls car to get me to my clinic. I am completely trapped here with this person we live with her parents and they hate my guts. Even tho i pay them rent, they still treat me like an indentured servant. In 2007 i found my father after twenty or so odd yrs of not seeing him. He lived like 1700 miles away from me but we would talk on the fone all the time. Then 8 months later he had a heart attack and died. My world stood still, the one person on the whole face of this flea infested planet who cared about me was gone. So now i just drift aimlessly thru life with no purpose or direction, cursing my mother for not choosing abortion, smoking pot,getting verbally abused by girl and her parents with absolutely nowhere to go. I cant take it anymore i want to leave this world so bad, but im christian, and im completely terrified of going to hell. So instead i cut myself.incredibly deep. A couple yrs ago i slit my forearm down to my wrist,(the right way!) and ended up bein found by my friend and rushed to the hospital where i got 46 stitches. But i see myself as so pathetic i cant even do that right. Can someone help me. Im not a bad person, honestly, i just have nowhere to turn and i pathetically typed this in the hopes that someone will read it who can actually help me. I really need a friend cuz i dont know how much longer i can bite my cheek and try to ignore the fact that i hate who ive become and if i had any balls at all id just hang it up or suck down the end of a firearm of some sort. | |
Seeing bad is first step.
What is bad for you.
Drugs are bad, this girl is bad, and mom well she will always be your mom but it's about you not her.
Have one foot on the ground and say stop.
Freedom. Be free.
I like even your story because you are aware of situation.
Thats why there is an exit sign.
Skip drugs, get help if needed. Get your own place, get a job. And be for some time by your self alone. You need that, You need freedom, space. To enjoy
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