I feel like my life is one of wasted potential. If I hadn't tried so hard it wouldn't be so bad. I finished my bachelors in two years. Worked as a programmer for a few years and quickly worked my way up to a lead role until the recession hit and the company I worked for tanked. I spent a year looking for a job before eventually giving up and joining the military. Now I'm just your run of the mill soldier struggling to make ends meet with a sixty thousand dollar student loan. I've poured thousands of hours into projects that I hoped would make me rich; They all failed because of the most unpredictable causes, resulting in zero profit. I'm trying to perfect the complex mathematics behind my next attempt to thwart my doomed fate. I've read so many god damn self help books and have dreams so large and vivid that I can't stop trying but I feel like I wasting away my life in pursuit of the impossible. I've witnessed death and great tragedy but I don't wish to go into that here. All I'll say; They call me a hero but I'm filled with regret for not acting quicker.
Then there's my love life- or lack of. I've always wanted to be in love. I ruined a potentially great friendship with a wonderful girl by telling her I liked her. That Sting of that catapulted me into a world of self improvement...
I've read literally everything on 'pick up' out there. I even taught my self to speed read so I could read faster/more. I joined a 'lair' (group of guys that spend their lives trying to 'get' women). I approached hundreds of girls in nearly every possible setting attempting to start a conversation- I never got a single number. The interactions always died before I got a chance to ask, or they turned out to be too young or a tourist. I was told by the leader of that group that I had by far the most potential out of any one there- something I hear quite a lot. I also did toast masters to work on my confidence. Hell I even did door to door sales to build up my confidence, all of it ending in nothing but rejection and failure. I've spent hundreds of hours speaking into a microphone and then listening to the recordings trying to perfect my voice and charm and teaching myself to mimic the subtle facial expressions of the actors deemed most charming. I can make a crowd roar with laughter and fall in love with me- I just never meet single women that aren't already in a committed relationship. The best girls are already dating guys less intelligent, less attractive, less charismatic, less genuine, less honest, and more of an dick than me. Except my last two crushes; they turned out to be honest to god lesbians. I was voted my likely to succeed in college and all of my former classmates that would come to me when they couldn't solve the toughest problems- all have great jobs in the industry. This world doesn't make any sense. Even now people expect me to become some rich playboy one day but it's like there's something almost cosmic working against me.
I'm 25 now; never had a girlfriend; never kissed a girl; no car; 60,000 in debt; probably gonna die is some god awful pointless war. Sometimes working your ass off and 'phenomenal potential' get you absolutely nothing in life.