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29 years old and i cant wait to die

Posted by Volts at August 10, 2011
Tags: 2011 August  Meaninglessness

Every day i wake up to depression.
I have a part time job as a server but it does not pay my bills witch makes me even more depressed.
Thought of killing my self run free through my mind i have all ready thought of a way to kill my self but have not gone through with it.
I have tried to talk to people about how i am feeling but to me it seems like eather they dont want to hear about my problems or they are to busy and dont really care.
My friend of 17 years has been the only person that i can open up to but when i talk about this with him he changes the subject.
I have no goals in my life i have a diploma from graduating high school i have tried to talk classes at a community collage but nothing seems of interest to me and i end up losing hope and stop going.
all that runs through my mind is killing my self im still living at home with my parents and when i try to talk to them about this they yell a swear and want to argue with me about this I dont really know why im even typing on here not like anyone really will care.
4 months away from hitting 30 and i still have nothing going for me makes me feel worthless
i cant find any reason to live for and each day drags on longer and longer i cant tell you enough how much i hate my life
then to top it all off i have a learning disability and H.A.A.D.D (Witch stands for hyper active attention deffest disorder) ya i know ill prob have people say get off the computer or stop complaining but i dont care i need to let this out.I wish i knew what to do its hard living a life that makes no sense to you and all you want to do is just die.


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New Comment

By at 25,Sep,11 18:45

I read your story and unlike those assholes that you've talked to I know what you're going thru because I'm in the same shitty situation as you my friend. I wish I could say things will be better but that will be just fake hope. The reality sucks. I'm too afraid to kill myself so I will just wait to die from natural causes. I hope that will happen in near future. 2012 for example (what many believe to be the end of the world)
By anonymous at 26,Nov,12 04:09

I keep hoping that the world will end on 12-21-12 like they predict. But if it does, I hope it's fast. I'm in my 60's and have been depressed all my life. Some days are not as bad as others. I've been to the professionals, and found them pretty worthless. All they do is offer drugs that make me feel worse, and I've tried all the anti-depressants and similar drugs. When I was younger, I actually did attempt suicide after taking these so called "anti-depressants", because they made me more depressed. Most of the psychiatrists tell me they cant help me without the drugs, or they just talk and talk and talk and continue to give me false promises.
However, as I age, it's becoming less and less important to end my life. I know that days will come soon now. I just try to make the best of each day, knowing I'll never be truly happy and just accepting the shit tossed at me each day. I have no plans for the future, dont save money, or much else. When I die, I die. It will be final peace for me, and mean little or nothing to others. I now believe my depression is hereditary, since my mother and other relatives had it all their lives until death.
By anonymous at 17,Dec,12 07:27 Fold Up

right with you martin

By anonymous at 26,Sep,11 01:37

nothing apart from medical help can take care of your situation. You need to consult a psychaitrist ASAP. Look i went through the same thing. Clinical Deprression and had related problems. The drugs didnt help instantly but overtime my life got better. Its worth a shot, you have given up and are planning suicide in any case so you dont have anything to lose

By at 26,Sep,11 09:27

God has given us this precious body to remind god and to help others.. if you will help others you will feel happy... Do your every deed for others...

Take true method of meditation from a true saint your every problem will get away when you will repeat METHOD OF MEDITATION... its not fake.. its true..
Dera Sacha Sauda is one of the such kind of spiritual organization run by "Saint Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Ji "with 40 million(still growing) follower following it to make their life... heaven.. It is just a miracle on this earth..
where a even a youngest child remain ready to help others.. its miracle.. daily thousands of miracle happen daily with everyone... and people get soothing spiritual upliftment in their life..

By anonymous at 26,Sep,11 18:18

Volts, from what you've written, you must be very depressed. It's hard for things to get better when you're depressed. Have you seen your doctor about your depression? If not, you need to set an appointment ASAP and tell him or her what you've written down here. There is antidepressant medication that can work wonders. If one doesn't work, don't give up. The doctor can have you try another one. Read more about depression online.

I also recommend that you find a professional counselor to talk with who will listen to you and help you. Often, low-cost therapy is available in most communities. Don't be afraid to reach out to people who make it their life's work to help others.

Once your depression is alleviated, Volts, then you will have the emotional strength to improve the other aspects of your life. Not until then. So get the help you need to take care of that problem first.

Exercise is great for releasing natural endorphins that help you feel better, so force yourself start walking regularly or do some other physical activity that gets your heart pumping and muscles moving.

Don't kill yourself. While it might permanently end your problems (and your future), it only passes along new, terrible problems on to those who know and love you. Your parents would be crushed by it.

Be strong and get help.

Once you're feeling better, start reading. Develop new skills, find a new career. You CAN do it. Just take the first step, and then another one.

And keep the number for a crisis/suicide hotline close at hand, to use whenever things become overwhelming, to help you hang in there for a better day.

By anonymous at 27,Sep,11 11:21

It sounds to me your not putting much effort into anything your doing sort of living life and hoping things get better you gotta connect with God ya know make him feel you. Get out there and stay in school even though it may be boring. At least put in a effort even if it doesn't work out at least you tried.

By anonymous at 13,Oct,11 23:30

Have you tried a hobby like knitting? cooking? fixing cars? wood craft? scrapbooking? or facebook? create your own personal web page? It feels good to "create" or fix something. I too get pretty depressed sometimes. I cry myself to sleep for three days. Then when I wake up, I try fixing my leaky faucet and the feeling of worthlessness just goes away.

By anonymous at 21,Jan,13 21:12

I see you say you're on the computer a lot. Speaking from experience, I gotta say, stop watching porn. It adds to the depression. Go celibate, don't even think about sex or sexuality, for about 5-7 days and you'll notice a huge surge of energy, which is really sexual energy that you now will have a chance to channel into a higher energy. It will make you happier, guaranteed, 100%. With this new energy your outlook on life will change and you'll see life more clearly. Because it's all about our energy levels.It might sound crackpot but speaking from experience conserving our energy works miracles.

By anonymous at 02,Apr,13 20:13


By crorkz at 06,Aug,14 02:52

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