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Tired of everything

Posted by H8 Life at January 5, 2012
Tags: Health  2012 January  Money

From the very beginning I seem to have been hand picked for suffering and punishment. I have Asperger Syndrome which prevents me from being able to have any kind of normal adult relationship with anyone and makes me so fucking stupid that I can't perform any job past the part time 15 year old type level. If this disability were not enough, I also have arthritis in nearly every joint and have Crohn's Disease. I pretty much can't go 20 minutes without excruciating pain and having to shit my guts out, which provides constant opportunities for embarrassment and humiliation. In the rare times where my illnesses and disabilities don't get in my way, just strokes of plain bad luck will pop up to keep me down. I've worked ten times harder than any person I know and don't have a penny to my name. I'm in $20k of debt, none of which is my own spending, all basically because a "friend" stabbed me in the back and stole my credit card information. I tried taking the case to court and lost because I was too much of a dumb fuck to even do that right. Both of my parents have severe mental illness and I'm largely responsible for looking after them as well as my sister who has severe autism. On top of all of this, I'm going to be stuck single my whole life because I was lucky enough to get some kind of virus that no Dr has been able to diagnose which has caused deterioration in my erectile tissue, making me unable to have sex. Oh yeah, and I'm slowly going blind too.
God just loves me so much.


Similar Entries:
Pull the goddamn trigger already March 15, 2012
I'm tired of my life April 18, 2012
tired of living April 21, 2012
broken heart..... April 18, 2011
im tired of this life shit June 15, 2011

New Comment

By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 21:25

I've been writing on a lot of these posts and just to make sure, I want to let you know that suicide and depression is not the answer. I bet that you are going to find someone who loves you for who you are and will be there for you. I don't mean necessarily someone who will have relations with you, but even a friend, who will be able to understand you. Is not that I don't say that God loves you and therefore he gave you this happenings, but I am pretty sure he doesn't do it for you to suffer, even though we do at some points, but these circumstances are there for us to fight and become stronger. We will be able to later surpass even harder obstacles because we fight. I have gone through complicated things in the past year and I am only 15, but I want you to know that you are right now way better than a lot of people, because you are a fighter.

By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 22:17

Holy shit, man. Kudos to you for making it this far. You're probably thinking about shooting yourself right now. DON'T. If you make it through, I will too. I'm not gonna say God loves you- cause he clearly fucked you up. But I do. I love you, remember that.
By anonymous at 01,Feb,12 13:43

We love you!

By anonymous at 01,Feb,12 01:23

Don't ever give up. The world is a fucked up place, everyone goes by looks and judges one another on every tiny thing. People are fake and put on a show. I look up to you for doing such things for your family and it probably gets lonely a lot. I can relate. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you and remember, God DOES love you. You're making a difference, something that most people don't do in their entire lives from being so caught up in society. You're an amazing person and you are my hero whether you feel like it or not. We need more people in this world like you.

By anonymous at 01,Feb,12 01:39

If you ask for forgivness for your sin and accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour you will have LIFE, eternal life. Jesus will help you, care for you, change you (and your life). His love is everlasting, no matter what sins or garbage you've been, in he will forgive you, and love you with love that can't be compared.

God uses the weak, the powerless, the hurt, and the lonely in GREAT ways. Heres a word from Jack Graham: A potter will take a helpless, lifeless lump of clay and then knead it and squeeze it until it's soft and pliable. And then when he gets it just right, he takes that piece of clay and he does something called throwing, where he places the clay on a spinning table.

And as that clay is placed upon that turning wheel, the potter's hands then begin to pressure the clay and work it until he makes something beautiful out of that old ugly piece of clay.

Here's the lesson God wanted Jeremiah to hear: He is the true master craftsman. He is a potter who is making something beautiful out of every life. He will take the old ugly mistakes and sins and make them into something completely new!

Benjamin Disraeli was wrong because when you truly know God, you can live victoriously! So whatever the ugliness is in your life, be assured that through the blood of Christ, God molds you and makes you into something beautiful!

Youtube Nick vujicic. He's a man who was born with no legs or arms, God has done great things through him.

God Bless you friend.

By anonymous at 01,Feb,12 13:41

Dayum. I aint even gonna lie man that sucks big fat balls. I think that you could try going to an Ayahuasca ceremony for healing. You drink this vine with a shaman and it's supposed to be really healing. Has even cured cancer, maybe it will be able to alleviate some of your problems. If you already have credit debt, what have you got left to lose? I say give it a shot, at lease you could feel better momentarily. I can't think of anything else at the moment. Sorry about your dick.

By anonymous at 01,Feb,12 16:33

You're more of a hero than Steve jobs or Obama or any famous fool. Stay strong, you're a hero

By anonymous at 02,Feb,12 00:49

What he/she said.... Don't forget you're a hero... I've been partly there myself, I'm not diagnosed but I'm pretty Aspergers-style with people and relationships. And I also feel your pain about sexual problems, I have the lovely situation that I can be depressed to the point of suicide, with everyone around me trying to use and grind me down (which people do when they see you're not socially strong), or I can take the "happy pills" which cause me to be impotent...nice choice. These sort of circumstances render most of the Jesus arguments invalid for me....ignore em. In your case, psych meds might help short term to get a grip, but I'm not sure that's the answer long term... What gets me by is reading, and learning, and thinking about stuff. Bollocks to 99% of people, 99% of the time. I'm luckier than you, but have had quite a bit of the same stuff including mental parents. All I can advise - find interests for yourself (which can be very cheap or free to pursue, a hobby or skill like playing an instrument or just reading) and don't feel that you need to spend your whole time looking after other people, unless those people have some feeling or sympathy for you in return. If you can at all, you also need space, even if that's just a room of your own... somewhere other people can't come in and f*ck with your head 24/7. Your life can be f*cked, but you don't have to take it up the a** from people, and there can be internal pleasure just in looking at the world, and studying stuff, even if it gets you nowhere. Good luck, mate.

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By deepsclinics at 08,Dec,12 14:34

I see the concern.I am very e happy to hear that you got your Supra fixed; I remember reading about some of your problems !.

By Gundoshkn at 21,Apr,13 05:23

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By me suba at 25,Oct,19 20:56

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