I have 2 beautiful children a loving husband a wonderful friend.
But I doubled my weight in 3 years, cant look in the mirror. I ache everywhere. I suffered post natal depression since my daughter was born, on medication now.
We suffer with our finances. no government help as my husband works, but our debt is more than our house worth and cant keep up with it. I worked as a nanny which i cant do with both of my kids anymore. that puts even more strain on us. childcare is so expensive i cant afford it.
Every day i have to ensure my children behave perfectly if i ever want another job in my life.I am doing a degree as a distance learner and university is rubbish.They are useless. i cant see eve if i graduate to get a better job ever.
I cant see us keeping our house, our life's work and if we loose it we'll never have our own again.
I hate my children. they have slept so well until about 2 weeks ago. now both of them are up all night. all day i clean, tidy, do everything in the house, must concentrate on eating better to loose the weight (so i might not ache that much at every step), look after the children, keep in touch with our families who live so far away, do university with no prospect in life and keep on top of our finances. it all just gets me so down i cant stand it anymore! I just want to run and never return! I blame my daughter for everything! and we both so wanted her. its her fault that i have lost every prospect in life, i dont sleep, i hurt all the time everywhere, i only see my husband as a passing ship, finances are so bad and all my problems just because of her.
I havent slept for a week now and just so want to end it all. I know my life isnt as bad as so many others but i cant get prospective on it however much i try. regardless of every thing logical i still cant stand it. i just want this all to end as there is no end to site, apart from the obvious. but i am too much of a coward to do that. just fed up!!!!
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I can feel your exhaustion. I know you really don't "hate" your kids. You're just burnt out. It may seem like you have no prospects but you do honey. The weight gain may be due to health factors like a slow thyroid condition? There could be numerous reasons you are feeling so tired other than the daily grind of life-
When was your last physical? It sounds like you just had your babies, you could be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. It's very common for women to be affected by this after giving birth. You should go to your doctor immediately. I know fiances are tough, but there are many walk-in clinics that offer their services on a sliding fee scale. Please look into getting some help. You are not alone, and you are not at fault for feeling the way you do. Just take some time- and do what's right for you and your children...
Life will get better, once you figure out what is causing your depression. There is medication for your situation. Please look into it-
Cursed
So, you're a landwhale and your old man doesn't want to pound the gazach anymore? Imagine that! I bet he'd have to tie a board to his ass to keep from falling in! Plus, I imagine you smell like army barracks on Saturday morning. Oh, and hey, good idea with the intARweb distance learning, which is another term for "sit on my fat ass all day and play on the computarweb and get a loan I have to pay for even though at the end of my learning I'll actually be dumber than before I started".
You see, you're a fried llama turd. I hate you because you don't hate yourself enough. You should be able to see what you've become, below all the surface stuff, which is bad enough as it is, but deep down you're really an ugly person. You hate the things that love you, because they love you, and that makes you lower than whaleshit in my opinion.
I would like to come over there and help your children and their dad pack up and leave. then, I'd kick the shit out of you so badly that you'd weigh 100 Lbs. less just from blood loss. Then I'd get the old lettuce that has some brown slimey stuff on it out of your fridge and I'd paste them all over your face and then I'd dance around singing "ding dong the witch is dead..the wicked witch..the wicked witch..ding dong the wicked witch is dead!!!"
And then I'd eat some eggo waffles with bluberries and take a big blue dump on your fat tits.
donkeycunt shitweasel.
As for the kids, they will grow up and move on, it's not the end of the world.
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