im 15.. growing up has been hell for me...it all started with my father...
through my young years hes been a huge alcoholic/drug problem...he raised me through the word of god.and i accepted it..school is where my depression first came out. for as long as i can remember i have been a 6'5 ugly fat beast. not a day went by did i feel good about the way i look. and the kids showed it.no friends i would often wander the campus by myself. just laughed at and judged by ppl..i have been bullied so much. the only thing keeping me sane was coming home and knowing god loves me.i finally got some friends. they weren't exactly the best influence and i knew it to. but they were my only ppl i cared about other than my family. which didn't consist of alot of ppl.just my mother. she doesn't want me to see my dads side of the family due to all there problems. the day my depression showed its true colors was the day my so called "friends" turned on me and said they hated me. that i was a useless waste of space. just like that my life went back into the average. bullied, strange kid walking alone around campus.as weeks went by i noticed the ppl who were the worst bully's were the "popular kids"
the kids who are in the football team and do nothing but fuck every chick they want on top of that they are praised for being rebels by smoking all the weed they want and doing drugs. so it seemed getting praised for the stuff i was taught not to do by the word of god, i was diagnosed with sever depression from my doctor it was so bad i had to drop out of school freshman year(with a doctors note)from that point ive done nothing but stay away from society,home ridden afraid of society judgement, the only thing to pass time was the internet... not my best choice. it seems ppl say nothing but "THERE IS NO GOD" ive been told there is no evidence, and that "science" is the only way" so the only person that made me feel loved and not alone doesn't exist. i dont know what to believe anymore. i feel like 15 years went by and the only person who cared about wasn't there.do i just die and go nowhere? is my life meaningless? at this point nothing makes me happy and therapist arnt helping.im starting to see the world as it is. im starting to hate ppl. ppl who went against everything i was taught
growing up. drug attics/chronic fappers /murders/ect.i see no future ahead of me in this world i really want to believe in a god i do. the only person who seemed to cheer me up. is "fake" as i have been told. at this point i don't what to do.
all i know is i hate what ppl are doing in this world.seeing no career ahead of me ,friends, nothing. | |
ARE BEING GOOD TO OTHERS FROM YOUR HEART!MAKE HEALTHY FRIENDS AND MAKE RIGHT CHOICES.
think of loneliness as a boon...
we are all lonely....it is our ultimate aim....u r just quick to realize that.....
god is within u...search him constantly......he will appear to u in his own ways,when u will be least expecting him....be pure ....have faith.....
and get your problems solve like me
bye
NORA
Sincerely,Jenkins james Chicago USA.
that your problem will be solved without any delay
problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. you can email him at:abufatima77powerspellcaster@live.com
New Comment