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depression

Posted by alin at April 9, 2012
Tags: Anxiety  2012 April

I am easily depressed. I get stressed when I am put under pressure which is most of the time. I feel like I am just a tool to everybody because i have a problem of saying no to people. I have been under tremendous pressure this past couple of months. Sometimes and most of the time i feel like i just want to give up on life and believe that what i had done is enough but i never can. I still push myself to try and be better and in doing so i push myself to the edge. I've been feeling suicidal again this past few weeks. I keep thinking that i want to die and that i just don't have to worry about anything anymore when I am dead. I don't like feeling like this. i hate it. The last time i feel like this i actually tried to slit my wrist. I want to enjoy life. I want to worry a bit less. I just want to stop feeling that life is meaningless and actually have fun.


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Similar Entries:
Im thru with life August 12, 2010
what is the point December 14, 2010
My Messed Up Life.. April 18, 2012
Depression is a miserable bitch. January 9, 2012
My life... April 1, 2012



New Comment

Comments:
By anonymous at 09,Apr,12 11:44

I COMPLETELY understand your predicament.

I'm probably older than you are and, therefore, much further into the depression zone than you are.

TAKE MY ADVICE. Makes changes NOW before you get to my level of problems.

Am I right in saying that most of your problems are literally caused by other people? I have been believing this in my case for about 5 years now. Avoid or completely cut off the people that are causing your problems. Try to find a job where you depend upon as few people as possible. A lot of my problems come from people at my workplace...people that have authority over me. Try to avoid a job where competing authority interests have control over you.

I would need to hear a little more detail about your predicament, but work-life and personal-life are the two major sources of difficulty, generally speaking. Avoid caustic people.
By anonymous at 09,Apr,12 14:53

I know exactly what you mean. For me It's people that are the problem. Luckily I have a job where I work by my self, because I don't think I could deal working with anyone again. I vary seldom see or talk to my boss and I'm glad, because every time I have to talk to the fuckhead it's always an argument. I generally try to stay away from most people for same reasons, but there's always some fuckhead or assholes out there that seem to find you somehow and make things miserable for you in someway.
By anonymous at 09,Apr,12 15:59

Are you Alin?

You are VERY lucky you have a job where you can work by yourself. I have a job that requires me to work with multiple parties simultaneously ALL the time. I'm not kidding you when I say the last good day at work that I had was in the 3rd or 4th quarter of 2010. My boss is all over the board when it comes to "logic". He frequently contradicts himself in the same sentence. He'll blame me even when he's the one who made mistakes.

I completely understand how angry you are. I don't outwardly express my rage. My rage occurs internally...and oh WOW does it occur frequently.

Here are a couple of tips to avoid people you don't like and possibly make your situation better.

1) Use call-screening ALL THE TIME.
2) Don't answer the door if you aren't expecting somebody.
3) Start having fun your own way without ANY outside interference.
4) Don't wait for somebody to give you permission to have fun.
5) Try living alone/on your own. Maybe an apartment or even a very small house/property.
6) Suicide is NOT an answer. Don't kill yourself because of assholes. Hopefully karma will take care of them!
7) Sometimes...when I get really angry at people...I pray the "battle prayers" of the Old Testament. Yep that's right. A lot of people in the Bible that many of us admire actually prayed for the destruction of their tormenters...or at least protection from their tormenters. I don't know if you are a person of any kind of faith. I just threw it in there as a possibility. I'm not trying to force anything down your throat. Trust me on that.

I can chat more if you like. I completely understand how you feel.
By anonymous at 09,Apr,12 23:14

No Alin here. Just another passerby in this struggle called life.

I feel for ya, I couldn’t imagine going that long at work without a good day. It's funny you should mention “logic”, because that's something my boss is lacking too. He is also totally unpredictable and he will always say one thing and do another.

I do carry a lot of rage inside of me, but I never get physically violent. As matter of fact I don't like violence.

Thank you for the worry, but suicide is not an option for me.

BTW: You got some good advice for others that have the same problems as we do, but these things I already know though my own trial & error.

It's nice for a change to be able to have a pleasant conversion with someone without it turning into some kind of argument.

Peace be with you and Godspeed.


By Truth at 09,Apr,12 13:39

So, basically what you're saying is that you're a bitchy little mancunt who can't find a single thing to be happy about, except that being sad makes you happy, which is kinda weird, but this place is full of shitbirds like you so I guess it's not that weird, for here.

Anyway, I'd sure like to punch you in the face so hard that your eardrums pop outside of your ear, and then I'd yell at them because they were hanging out and I'd get some toothpicks and play the tiny little drums. I'd play a happy little beat so you could dance a happy little faggot jig and , well...you know, be happy. That'd be my gift to you.

But, since you're on your moms computer in the basement in some shitty hovel in the shittiest part of southern ohio, I can't help you.

Therefore,

Go fuck yourself.
By anonymous at 09,Apr,12 15:08

Just another internet asshole trying to impress his boyfriend.
By Truth at 10,Apr,12 01:41

So...how is it in moms basement anyway? Do you still have your scotty baio poster up?


By anonymous at 09,Apr,12 17:27

Please. Do yourself and me a favour. Contact me on smile.my.love@hotmail.com

I feel EXACTLY as you. Please, lets just talk, I can't trust anybody of my own.

:)
By anonymous at 09,Apr,12 17:32

P.S. Im not suicidal but I feel unstable and nevrotic lately.


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i just read this and you put all my thoughts and feelings in this, its good to know that i am not the only one


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