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Depressed, lonely, and feeling like crying

Posted by anonymous at May 30, 2012
Tags: Health  Loneliness  2012 May

I am almost 31 years old. I have never had a relationship that lasted over a year and a half. I have been dogged out by men over the years so much. It hurts because all I want is someone to love me just as much as I love them. My past experiences keep me from being able to trust anyone. Its hard to stay in a relationship because I get so paranoid thinking that the person I'm with will just end up treating me like the rest did. I suffer from PTSD and I have two children who have autism. Life is very hard for me. When I was younger I was abused by my aunt and both my parents were on drugs. I ended up in state custody, living in shelters and foster homes. I always look for love in the wrong places. I have made a lot of choices that I regret and am ashamed of. Everyday is a struggle...I smoke weed to help me forget about my loneliness sometimes but I know that is not the right thing to do. I am so emotional and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I just want to find someone to spend the rest of my life seems like that will never happen. After all of my failed relationships I feel like giving up. I have a lot of issues that I am dealing with. I know my story is not as bad as most of the stories I have read but I know someone out there can identify with what I am feeling. I don't have any friends...I am in the house all day everyday because I am always so anxious. I really do not know what to do. I have stopped caring about my appearance as much as I used to. My family does not understand me so I cannot go to them without them judging me. I look all around and see all of these couples who seem to be so happy an in love. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me? Maybe it's because I am flat chested and do not have a big butt. That seems to be what everyone likes. I have heard that I am beautiful or pretty but I do not feel it. I am in tears now...I just don't know what do do anymore.


Similar Entries:
why m i so lonely  June 25, 2011
I feel very lonely April 13, 2012
Lonely December 22, 2011
Depressed and anxious April 17, 2012
untitled story November 7, 2011

New Comment

By anonymous at 30,May,12 16:01

I feel the same way sometimes. I sit and look at our people relationship and wish I had what they have. I wonder sometimes why I can't find love. But I see it like this, if a guy love you, he should love you for your personality, whats in your heart, not what you have on your body. Thats the problem with men now days because they look at outer beauty instead of inner beauty. In due time you will find someone and you will learn to start to trust again, hope all is well.

By anonymous at 31,May,12 08:23

Smokeing weed is always the right answer.

By anonymous at 31,May,12 10:30

Seek JESUS for love!

By anonymous at 31,May,12 16:25

Go get Jesus and stop your fucking whining.
By anonymous at 02,Jun,12 20:33

No such thing.
By anonymous at 02,Jun,12 23:32 Fold Up

Don't be an ass on this site. "Stop your fucking whining" how unecessary

By anonymous at 01,Jun,12 02:07

42 years old, i understand your story, it does not get better, until you get better. "You draw to you what you create" When you get better, you will draw better people into your life. STOP SMOKING WEED! Unless all you want is potheads in your life. And take care of your babies, you brought them here, they didnt ask to be here.

By anonymous at 02,Jun,12 02:09

get a boob job(for yourself) and end the pity party.. problem solved

By anonymous at 02,Jun,12 20:07

You're in tears, go see a therapist of some type.

By anonymous at 02,Jun,12 20:32

Try online dating for fun:

By at 04,Jun,12 02:14

Most people change for one reason: pain. When your life gets painful enough, you will change. I encourage you to think about that and think about what kind of life you want. You are fully responsible for everything in your life. Take charge. Set small goals every day. At the end of each day, write what you are grateful for. Volunteer to take your focus off of yourself and to get out of the house. Oh, and until you have your life back on track, quit the pot. Skills not pills or smokes. Good luck.

By anonymous at 21,Aug,12 21:26

i hate girls and women. Fuck them. Evil scum describes them. I dont have a girlfriend and I dont care. The evil in you fucking sluts nauseates me. God forgot to give you a heart. Your from the Devil. I hate all of you. Fuck all of you. And fuck humanity. This world is a lost cause. The Devil and evil rules this world not a loving God.

By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 17:30

And my final comment to all you degenerates who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.

By anonymous at 08,Mar,14 12:49

Nothing is wrong with you/ join a group/ find your purpose in the lord/ and then you will have peace/pray everyday God will nto fail you/ I am your friend/

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