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I Wish Someone Loved Me

Posted by anonymous at July 6, 2012
Tags: Jul2012

My mom died this year. 6 years ago I found out that the person I thought was my dad isn't. I tried to contact my real dad who had no idea I existed and he blew me off so when my mom died I tried again. Again the blowoff. I have zero family because the half brother decided to empty mom's bank account while she was in the hospital then steal all her stuff so I got almost nothing and my aunt helped. When I was 17 I got pregnant with my HS sweetheart right after I tested out of school. Before that I was homeless living in my car and hotels with my ex bf when I was 15-17 years old. Almost no one knows this. I didn't want to get an abortion so I had the child then got pregnant again. I am now 44 years old and nobody knows that my kids were accidents. Their dad killed someone after I left him because he was on drugs and he is in jail for life so I raised the kids myself. I hate myself because I am too nice and everyone takes advantage of me and I hate everybody. So I met this guy half my age online from another country who moved here 4 years ago and I thought he would love me but since he is illegal he can't even work so he lives in my house doing nothing and looking at porn online and I hate him. My son who is 24 and does half assed attempts to look for work is living on my couch because he has nowhere to go and I hate him. My other son hates me and does shitty things to me and we aren't talking right now. I have friends who don't understand why someone so awesome as me can't get my life together but the real secret is this: I think I'm too old to do anything and I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Mentally I am stuck at around maybe 16 years old. I am on disability because I hurt myself at work last year and they are going to give me free training and a settlement so I think maybe I want to be a hairdresser and buy my own first home. I am completely alone. FML.


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Similar Entries:
I am so lonely it hurts April 22, 2012
Regret December 19, 2011
worst love confession in the world January 21, 2011
I want to be loved... April 4, 2011
I have lost December 17, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By Missy at 06,Mar,13 17:29

I have same problem aft I got out priso I was there for 10 years I am 31 now I did not until I was 30. I got a job and met a man. We are engaged and my wedding in May. What get out meet some one and if peron find not suitible then find ome else beleive me I met some where I work. He has whp resect after she got out of JuV. I have helped her Not doing crime. It just takes time.


By anonymous at 12,Mar,13 12:16

wtf you are not alone. You have two kids. I am completely alone. I live alone. I am 27 and have lived alone since age 20. I do not know anyone and work nights. I have no car, no money, no friends, nothing but a computer, a face full of zits and a world that despises me.

If you don't want kids then why did you have them? If you don't like your spouse/ex-spouse then why did you marry him? It's always the same story.


By anonymous at 24,Mar,13 19:55

kill yourself


By anonymous at 19,Apr,13 05:26

^^


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