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Posted by anonymous at September 30, 2011
Tags: Family  Loneliness  Meaninglessness  Philosophical  2011 September

Most children have a dream, something to aspire to as they grow up. If those children have solicitous parents, they are guided, nurtured, and prodded along that road to self-discovery. In a perfect world, those dreams align with a child's interests, passions, and talents. Those children are the lucky ones. I only had one dream, to get married and raise a family. However, no one has ever been interested in me. So, at the age of thrity, I decided to go back to school and find another road. As it turns out, there are no other roads. There is nothing out there for me. Talents? None. Nurturing parents? No. Family all aroung me suffering and engaged in their own problems. Who was it that said something about people living lives of quiet desperation? Those were my parents, and that is me right now. Female, 38 years old, obese, balding, unemployed, in debt up to my ears, and no way out of any of this. Most women have a father, a brother, or a husband to look after them, to "take up the slack", to plow the eighteen inches of snow out of their driveways in the morning, to help keep the bank roll rolling. Not me. I have an aging mother who lives on less than my unemployment checks and even together we cannot pay our bills. I don't want my life to revolve around how I am going to feed my mother and keep a roof over her head. I want my life to revolve around a purpose, but I have no purpose. There are charities and government sponsered programs to help children, the sick, the aged, battered women, unwed mothers... who thinks to help the woman who is simply ALONE.


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Really messed up December 7, 2011
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Comments:
By anonymous at 20,Nov,11 21:06

Yup and its amazing its mostly lonely women on this site.. and teenagers. I feel you, Theres no hope, none, we're fucked.


By anonymous at 21,Nov,11 01:23

I think you wrong do not loose hope if you have hope and pride you can accomplish anything, anything with your heart. True i may be in 8th grade but I have never lost hope in my education or my future. And that is why i feel sucsessful or am sucsessful.
By anonymous at 21,Nov,11 14:53

OK its alright to be stoopid but even a retard can download a spellchecker for his browser.
By anonymous at 22,Nov,11 20:47

HILARIOUS


By anonymous at 21,Nov,11 08:57

Oh brother here we go again,deadman commenting and answering his OWN comments..


By anonymous at 22,Nov,11 18:42

Your life sucks, but it isnt because you have no man or your daddy isnt there or w/e you have to look past the fact that you have no one to lean on.


By at 22,Nov,11 20:48

LOOK.... MOVE TO TEXAS SOMEBODY WILL FUC U I GUARANTEE IT!!!


By anonymous at 23,Nov,11 06:00

Go out to find a job, loose wait and find yourself a man! It's relatively simple things to do, negativity is just dragging you down. Stay positive and you'll find a way. My aunt and uncle married when they were 50, seriously.


By anonymous at 23,Nov,11 06:01

And my apologies for my horrible language previous message. LOL


By anonymous at 25,Nov,11 18:51

wStart somewhere if even you feel you have no talent. There must be somethings you like to do. Create a journal. Write down your feelings. It helps to cope with the pain and cry as much as you need to. Then write the good things that you want to see happen in your life. Then visualize them. The mind is incredible. If you can picture things that you want to see manifest, it starts with your mind.
Is there a trade or skill that you want to learn? If it means going back to school, bite the bullet and do it.
If you could focus mentally on what you want, begin and a door will open.

This is coming from somone who has came through depression. I am still lonely at times. I am an only child. Never knew my father.

Trust me. Make a list of the things that you want with a date. For example, I want to pay off my debt of $10,000 in 5 years.

The universe owes you a living not the world.


By anonymous at 01,Dec,11 12:22

Why don't you just try to work as hard as the Asian immigrants and see if you can pay your bills?


By at 09,Jan,12 10:38

Start out by getting up and going for a walk in the morning, EVERY morning. BEFORE breakfast. Get some decent walking shoes, a jacket and an umbrella if you need them, and GO. If you have trouble going any distance start out small, but work your way up to a mile in 20 minutes, EVERY morning.

When you've done that for a week, start changing how you eat. More vegetables, less carbs. Don't bother counting calories, just eat less sugar, bread and pasta, and replace them with fruits and vegetables. Keep the meats the same.

In 90 days, take a look at yourself and see if you like yourself better. I bet you will...


By Demelza at 05,May,13 20:53

Now I know who the bnraiy one is, I'll keep looking for your posts.


By Aundre at 07,May,13 03:36

I told my grandmohter how you helped. She said, "bake them a cake!"


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