From Where shall i begin!!!!!!! when i was a child and my dad was away and when i broke my leg he refused to come and see me and i felt i was alone in the world....or when i found our that my sister has a boy friend with whom she travels every where and lies to mum and asked to lie for her which made me lose trust and faith in every one around....or when my uncle died when i was 17 and my dad prevented me from seeing my cousins as he feared they use me and i found out that the reason he didn't come to see me when i broke my leg as a child is that he feared hospitals and believed that when he visits someone in hospital this person dies.
Or when i first loved a person and thought that my happiness finally arrived, and then he left me with no reason
or when i became close to my dad to find out that he'll die of Cancer!!!! and my grieve on him got me a madical condition that makes it hard for me to be pregnant......
Or when i loved for the second time and i had to leave him as my brother didn't approve my marriage from him and my brother was more of my father and so i took the decision to give up love for family.
OR when i loved for the third time and lived the happiest moments of my life.....days and nights of happiness and laughters and then my family refused him as in their opinion he wasn't up to him and it was easier for them to see me cry for a full year day and night, than to accept my marriage from the man i loved and this is all he wasn't top schools graduate!!!!!!
Or when i trusted a friend and he tried to rape me.....
Or better let's start from the end when i met my husband....a man that is in love with me and ready to give me the world and finally my family approved condionally.....and after a month of our marriage he leaves me to work in another country and signs a contract to work for a year in the country and takes only one month off a year...and he says he's doing so because he loves me and he want to give me a better life....what is a life with no husband, father or brother and mother who feels she should have died not the father as he'd have supported his kids better than her!!!!!!!!!!!
Life truly sucks....we're like horses in a race trying our best to win and when we do the jockey is the one who is recognized not us!!!!!!!! i know God hides the best for us....but it seems i just lost the ability to see the good things.......
One thing i wish from my heart is to laugh a true laugh from my heart and live life as is not as a nightmare or a computer game waiting for the words GAME OVER........................ | |
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