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I hopelessly surrender...

Posted by anonymous at March 10, 2012
Tags: 2012 March  Relationship  Unemployment

I am 23 years old.. I live with my parents.. i have no job..! someone would say that im a pretty normal girl.. that my life isnt that bad... But for me it is..!
I have never had a relationship...am still a virgin.! I think that am afraid to get too closed to a man..because if I do he'll hurt me. I dont trust men. Every man is a cheater.. Its in their nature.. I 've seen it so many times. When I was younger I believed that I would find a handsome nice guy that would be truly madly and deeply in love with me..just like in the movies. But that only happens in movies. In real life there is only pain and disappointment. I would like to feel what to means to be in love..but i dont think i ever will..i dont believe in love.! There is no hope for love..
I have no job at the moment.. My parents support me. If..and when i find something I am sure that it will be a low salary job..that will only pay the bills..!
I dont have a social life.. I couldnt it afford it.. Plus..I think that im really a boring person with no personality.. I hate myself for that.. I know that! But I dont think I can make anything to change it.
I am 23 years old. I think mu life goes from bad to worse.. I have no hope for my future. I will end up a spinster..all alone in the world. I know that i could appreciate some things in my life.. i am healthy..i have parents who love me..! But thats not enough.. I am not happy.. and I think that I will stay that way for ever.. I have no hope.. I WANT to live and experience so many things... but I dont think I'll ever get the chance to do so.. I keep sayin to myself 'patience..things will change..it will get better' but it doesnt. My life is boring. I have nothing to expect. Only Pain and unhappiness..
I surrender... I dont hope for change anymore.. My luck wont turn.. I have made peace with the fact that I will be always alone and unhappy.. I am 23 years old.. You would say that am too young to think like that.. But thats how things are.. Thats why I hopellessly surrender....
I dont know Why I ve written these here.. I just wanted to let it out for once.. Maybe fo myself to read it.. This is how i feel..I am hopelessly surrendering!


Votes:


Similar Entries:
Life sucks May 30, 2009
untitled story March 13, 2012
empty April 15, 2010
Surrendering May 8, 2012
Very Unhappy December 26, 2010



New Comment

Comments:
By at 12,Mar,12 21:11

My situation was nearly identical. I'm now 23. I've always been a loner, due in large part to being an unwanted, only child who was teased relentlessly by other children. Once I was in love with a girl who kept giving me signals that she liked me, only to ultimately decieve me. I was totally hopeless for many years and had no one to talk to. But over time I made a circle of friends. We had all been trained in music, so we decided to start a progressive metal band. Simply put, we kicked ass! As time went on, the other four guys all got lives: One went on a two year mission for his church, another wnet to college, another became a U.S. Marine. I didn't really become anything. I worked, but left the job because I was being treated like an animal by by bosses and by clients. After 16 months of unemployment, I went back to work there because there were no other jobs nearby. I quit again because the grind of it all had me thinking very bad thoughts. I had raised just enough money to go to school, when I found that my car needed major repairs. So, I had to find work. I did, but I'm not really that happy. However, I learned a lot about life. 1. Life sucks. That's how it is. 2. Nothing is permanent. The more things change, the more they stay the same. 3. Everything happens for a reason. We dance on the strings of powers we cannot percieve. 4. Nothing ever happens the we want them to. It's a far cry from the world we thought we'd inherit. 5. The only thing we can do is to make the best choices with the knowlege that you have. We could be down and gone but we hold on.


By anonymous at 12,Mar,12 22:26

your upset because your alone and you live with your parents and you dont have a job. well guess what's not helping that. sitting at home, alone, without a job. get out of the house find you a part time job. at least that away you wont be sitting by yourself all the time. and who knows some of your coworkers might become your friends.


By anonymous at 12,Mar,12 23:21

You are so lucky I have a three year old I'm pregnant and my husband lost his job I have no idea what I'm going to do. How I'm going to take care of my family I'm 23 by the way you are living like a god and the love thing you have to take chances very happy I did I kissed alot of frogs before finding my princes in dirty amour gave him a spit shine and turns out he was golden. Get over being sad white people problems


By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 04:32

Ride the waves I feel the same I'm here so my parents don't have to put me 6 feet under. That would crush them as much as I now my life sucks I do make a difference


By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 05:28

Self pity is bad for you. You have to realize your potential and think positive, "i have a bad personality" no you dont, you dont need a great personality to make friends with someone anyway. I know its cheesy but I think it makes sense. You seem to be bitter at men. Sure theres alot of assholes out there but there are a ton of great guys out there to. It may take time to find one, but when you do, it will be worth it. Dont lump all men as assholes, it offends the non asshole guys lol.

True love is a real thing, just because you haven't experianced it yet doesn't mean it doesn't exist! Keep applying to jobs, apply yourself to something your skilled at, everyone has different gifts, some people are good leaders some people are musicians etc.. You got something special you just might not realize it yet.

You can make friends at all sort of differnt events and stuff. For instance, if you like reading, join a book club, you like cooking, join a cooking class, even volunteer somewhere, you'll get good job experiance and you might meet a great guy. Join a church, get involved in the church through a bible study group etc.. Theres tons of different opportunitys, just apply yourself, be positive, people are attracted to that.

It also sounds like you may be clinicly depressed. Thats something that can be tough to fix. You should see a physician and try anti depressents which will balance your serotonin levels (i think thats the medical term). A lot of people need anti depressents. In the mean time you can try getting some exercise in, through studys its found that exercise is great to combat depression and other emotional problems.

Lastly, I'm a christian and I have to testify to what Jesus can do. For instance Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:29. When you truly know God, you can live victoriously! So whatever the ugliness is in your life, be assured that through the blood of Christ, God molds you and makes you into something beautiful! Many people can testify to how God has changed them. Ive never heard of anyone regretting putting their faith in jesus.
Jesus knows your pain, because he went through all the different pains possible when he was tortured and then nailed to a cross. He layed down his life for our sin, so that we can have eternal life in heaven. All we have to do is accept him as our lord and savior and ask for forgiveness for our sin. Jesus loves you with love that cant be compared, he loves you so much that he died for you. He can change you. He changes people every single day. You can say that one of his job descriptions is "Life Changer". He knows your trouble, he cares for you, and he wants you to know him. He will comfort us when there seems to be no comfort available. He is our friend when everyone else seems to not care, he provides for us when we are without, and he gives us strength when we are weak. He washes away all our sin when we have lived sinfilled lives. He is offering the gift of everlasting life in heaven free of charge, its your choice whether you accept his offer.

Whether you believe in God or not I hope that things will change for you. Keep your head up, dont give up, bite your lip and give life your best shot.

God bless


By chris at 13,Mar,12 12:31

Hopelessly surrendering at 23 and totally accepting a life of a spinster and misery at 23. Dnt you think thats a little too early. Our 20's are our called the "Dramatic 20's" its the time when were going to formulate who were going to become as a man or a woman.

20's are supposed to be tough. I am 21 and its tough for me. But your damn straight I am not gonna accept a life of misery and give up and just make peace with aloneness and mediocrity. Life is about improvement and working hard. Besides If you read some stories here on this site its true that If you accept that kinda life of a spinster it will turn true. Because people here are still complaining of deep depression and loneliness and nothing ever working out at 65. You know what thats a sad way to live.


My advice to you:
Get out of your house. Volunteer, join clubs do something.
It seems to me that all you do is stay at home and do nothing and then complain about it.

And second of all with that attitude you have towards all guys being assholes. Your never gonna get a guy. Not the man of your dreams; not even a Good Guy who's confident, funny, who actually has good chemistry with you. Your just gonna fuck it up with that BAD ATTITUDE. It will shoo not just guys but everyone everyone away.

Lastly. Change that attitude girl; get out of your house; Actually apply for jobs becuase I have a feeling you don't, make some money and spoil yourself, learn to be open. Hell Check out Davidwygant dating site. Your gonna learn all your dating issues are just your fault and in your control to change.

If you give up now you'll end up complaining and whining at 80 except you have missed your whole life. Idnt even think you want that.


By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 13:19

well i am 24 male..going through the same thing.. life really sucks... :( :( :(


By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 13:57

So these are my words of wisdom, having been in a similar situation when I was also 23. It sounds like you've been having these bad thoughts about yourself and about your life for quite sometime? Believe it or not but the way you think about your life and yourself is instantly becoming real every second. Humans are creatures of manifestation we take thoughts from our head and make them real in the physical world. (think about it every task, invention, everything starts with an idea or a thought) I know that once you start thinking badly about yourself it's a down ward spiral, you've probably been doing so long you don't even realize it anymore. My advise to you is do not surrender, you know what happens when you surrender... you get horribly depressed and tell your sad story to strangers on the internet. I promise If your strong enough to be so vulnerable and honest to all the strangers that have read this, then your strong enough to fight for your happiness. Start applying for jobs based on things that sound fun or seem like they would help you meet people your age. When I did this I applied at sports bars and restaurants because I always saw people my age in there and it seemed like they were having fun. When you catch yourself thinking "I'm boring, I'm an idiot," or being self critical take a deep breath and silence those thoughts the best you can. I always like to imagine my self critical thoughts drowning in a deep sea or burring into ashes. It might sound weird but it seriously works for me. If you honestly try to change your negative thoughts and look for opportunity to make friends you will start feeling much better. As for hating men, honey I hear you I can't stand them most of the time either. I've been really hurt and I hurt others, But I have fallen In love and I know it's real. Hurt and pain is part of life and it's part of love also. I"m in love right now but I'm working a job half way around the world from the person I love and it's very painful to talk to him on the phone I cry every time I hear his voice. I hope this helps :)


By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 14:48

dnt worry life has its ups and downs ,..... Everythng wil be fine but stayng alone wont work u have to move out n search a job n soon everythng wil b on track ...... Trust me being single is good ul enjoy being alone wen ur not in a relationship....... Life really sucks.


By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 15:06

I could be worse, you could be a unemployed nigger living off the goverments dime.


By at 13,Mar,12 16:18

HEY FUCK YOU UP THERE!!!
By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 19:38

Hey Unemployed Nigger!

hows the "job search" going?

lol!


By anonymous at 13,Mar,12 18:31

not every man is a cheater.I have never cheated on a girl.I have seen many married ladies that cheat.


By anonymous at 14,Mar,12 01:33

What are you talking about Niggers have it the best! They don't have to work all they have to do is pop out another useless baby who will probably rob me one day. They live on the government dime for there entire life. If you ask me this is the time of reverse slavery. All the money I am making goes to pay for them to say home. So I understand your fustration on finding a job, it will come. And hunny loss that virginity, your twenties are the best time to try all types of possitions and randoms! Have fun.


By anonymous at 14,Mar,12 14:32

you are a lesbian, start acting as such and you will feel better


By anonymous at 14,Mar,12 14:33

join the Army, that is a job plus as many men as you can handle


By anonymous at 25,Mar,12 11:55

hmmmmp ok good if u r a pure virgine and u have no past with any boy so beleive me u will get a good husband but if u will marry to a christian so u will get more pain coz all christian boys make a many relation with many girls and if u want to make ur life beautiful so go in india and try for job , 100% u will get a high salary job and u will get good handsome , smart and 100 % virgine boy for marry to u and u will get a good husband like a movies and good thing is that u will get a good family and all will love u sweetheart but choose only a hindu boy in india for marry to u so u will be get a secure life with him coz hindu boys love a one girl whole life , so don't worry about divorce , anout cheating in love and u will get ur dream job, ur dream husband , and u will get a lovely and happy family and u will never forget my this advice for u ok darling i love u tooo mwaahhhh bye ok must think about my advice ok


By anonymous at 25,Mar,12 11:57

i am indian too darling and u know indian 's like a only pure virgin girls for marry so if u like my advise so must comments about my advice so i will send u more suggestion ok


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