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cant stand living

Posted by useless at April 9, 2012
Tags: 2012 April  Loneliness

all of this will seem like rambling on but im just typing what comes to my mind.
I'm a 20 almost 21 year old female. I've never had boyfriend and i look like a lesbian. i always wear jeans and a plain shirt because thats what fits me. i dont put on make up because that wont even help my appearance. people always judge me and shit. I've only had like 4 close friends in my life and only 1 has stuck but we don't live in the same city anymore and only talk like twice a month or so. i go to college and cant make any friends. yes I'm fat which is why I'm 100% sure that people will not be my friend. i talk to people when i have to like to lab partners but other than that, no one wants to talk to me. i just wish i could make one friend. i live with my sister and i know she hates me, she used to be fat too but she lost weight but either way she has always been a bitch to me. i know she is embarrassed to be seen with me. when she was going to have friends over she was like you're going to be in your room right? and when i have money and she needs to borrow money but i wont let her, she gets mad and will make a lesbian comment or something. it hurts a lot. i hate living, i just wish 2012 really was the end of the world so i wouldnt have to try anymore. the only reason i hang on is because if i tried to kill myself, i know it would devastate my mom and i can't stand the thought of her being sad. i try my best to make her sucks to be alone and the more i am alone, the more i start to hate hearing other people talking to each other and i hate other people's laughter. this doesnt make sense because i do want to make friends. i guess i just hate seeing other people happy. i cry almost everyday i would say only 5 times a week during a good week. listening to sad songs make me cry too. just being depressed has made me so damn sensitive to everything. i know some of you people are going to say that im just feeling sorry for myself but fuck is one friend too much to ask for?


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New Comment

By anonymous at 10,Apr,12 09:48

Like you i have no friends at all and have spent the best part of my life alone and crying......People used to think that i was gay because i couldnt get a single girlfriend......Friendships never happened for me and it would hurt so bad that i would self harm but it never helped.....To this day i am totally alone and i hate popular people with a passion cos they just dont give a shit about the rejects (only themselves)......Listen, i understand your feelings of low self worth better than most and im here for you if you need someone okay?? Take good care......
By Tony Kickass at 10,Apr,12 09:53

My names Tony by the way :)
By Truth at 11,Apr,12 00:38

Tony, that's just gay
By Dan at 11,Apr,12 13:56 Fold Up

Yo Tony,

To be honest with you dude i was one of the very popular people back when i was at school, but i was nothing like what you'd expect from say a movie where the popular people are all assholes.

Don't worry yourself about what other people think about you, their opinion means nothing because only you know you. They just think what they see is everything to you mate, i learnt that lesson a few years ago.

getting a girlfriend doesn't mean anything, well acutally it means that you're attracted to them and they're attracted to you, that's it. You just haven't met the right person yet dude. and since you've not provided an age, is it safe to assume you're under 18 and possibly still in school or just left?

You're still young, and the world we live in is a vast place, there's plenty of fish in the sea! Join some clubs/communitys/forums where you can talk about subjects you're most interested in if you want to make friends.


By at 10,Apr,12 09:56

Its okay.Do not be too sad for yourself.Well,when there is a will there is a way. Nothing is impossible.Do not even try to suicide because that do not change the problem to any more better.Be yourself.Their comments wont affect your "will" to be you

By anonymous at 10,Apr,12 10:27

hey..i'm in same position too...can we be friends.
By at 10,Apr,12 10:39

hey talk email on
By at 10,Apr,12 10:40

i mean lets talk..because i really want to talk to someone how i'm feeling plz email me on above id..plz
By useless at 10,Apr,12 12:53 Fold Up

yeah that would be awesome

By anonymous at 10,Apr,12 10:59

Hey useless. I may be old, I am 42, but I can totally relate. Rock on girlfried and fuck them people. I wear what is comfortable and dont wear make up, never have. My mom always bitches u cause I dont wear lipstick, fuck lipstick too. My sister disliikes me enough to move from Florida to Oregon, with here husband and perfect life. My brother and his wife are here and dont talke to me at all. Believle me, the LAST thing I want is a boyfried. Let me warn you now: the ONLY THING all guys want is sex, so u done need no man. I am with you on the lonely and just about everything u said and i wish i could do anything for you. U r sooo young and a beautiful soul. Feel free to contact me anytime, here or at my email,
By Dan at 10,Apr,12 13:23

Not all men only want sex, that's a very unfair and very false generalisation!!!

Did you not think that a guy might just find you very attractive? Sure there are assholes who just want to sleep with you and be done but you can tell the two types apart because the guy who just wants sex won't ever speak to you in a meaningful way, he won't hold your gaze as you lock eyes, he won't hold your hands and kiss you tenderly.

An attitude like that is what drives men away from you.
By at 10,Apr,12 21:14 Fold Up

I cant believe you think all guys are like that. I could say all women are money grabbing bitches etc. The truth is that the world we lve in has got harder. We are bombarded by tv/radio/ads etc that tell us being selfish is cool & so on. but pls dont think that all men are like this, I for one am not.

By anonymous at 10,Apr,12 10:59

ps LOVE the name, useless. you r not, I am.
By anonymous at 10,Apr,12 18:07

You are not useless
By anonymous at 12,Apr,12 15:16

No both if you are.
By anonymous at 13,Apr,12 23:59

your a fucking idiot ^^ you obviously come on this site to read about other people's worse problems to make yourself feel better and when your realize your life is better, you decide to talk shit. well your a fucking dumb ass trying to make yourself cool...on the fucking INTERNET. yeah your real cool

By Dan at 10,Apr,12 13:13

Hey, i'm a 20 going on 21 year old lad who feels quite the same as you (except the sister stuff) I'd like to talk to you and be your friend :)

I've been depressed, lonely and a whole other load of crap which makes me angry, sad and filled with hate all at the same time and i have no one i can talk to either.

So hey, if you fancy a chat you can e-mail me at

By anonymous at 10,Apr,12 18:05

Guys we jus need God period.let's ol be frnds.I knw the pain so much but for me its worse coz I hav ppl wu r frnds bt I knt tok to dm bet staff dat bother me. U and ur sis must jus chill and I knw its weird bt I love u and u are valuable and worth living
By anonymous at 15,Apr,12 12:15

Nice spelling.

By anonymous at 16,Apr,12 18:29

It's OK to feel like that. All that you need to know at the end of the day is that God loves you immensely...enough to die so that you could have the chance to live with Him always. He will be your one friend.
Being fat doesn't effect the probability of your having friends. I'm kind of fat, with no fashion sense at all, and I have some friends. They're not deep friendships, but they are something. Maybe you should look for friends in different circles. Do you have a hobby?

btw, labs! a science person! go science!

By anonymous at 17,Apr,12 15:21

Jesus loves you so much. He died for you so you could be saved for eternity. He offers you a new life. Just turn away from the life you lived and give your life to Jesus :-) He longs for you!

By anonymous at 23,Nov,12 05:45

Im in the exact same boat as you right now, I have an ass holeoomare who doesnt do shit and is embarassed to hang out with me because I rarely ever speak which makes it impossible for me to make freands.or to have a girlfriend, ive been suicidal for aonf ass time, whats weird with me is that when I used to be fat and addicted to drugs I was always loud and outgoing and people generaly liked me, but after I lost the weight and cut my hair, now people always try to be freands with me because now I look like one of the popular kids but, becausd of my lifetime of being abused

By anonymous at 23,Nov,12 05:49

Pressed the wrong button, stupid smartphone......
Because of the lifetime of abuse that I recieved, as well as my drug abuse, I have so many regrets that I compleatly and utterly hate the person that I am even though the person that I am now is better than the person that I was before, its like I dont think that I deserve to have freands or a relationship, I dont even speak to my family anymore.........

By anonymous at 23,Nov,12 05:50

And again, what the fuck is a holeoomare, I meant roommate, damn, I should go to sleep and stop cutting for tonight

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