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My mother is crazy...

Posted by anonymous at June 4, 2012
Tags: Family  2012 June

I'm completely ruined from the inside out. My mother is a shell of a woman with an angry black hole for a heart. She's never shown compassion or understanding. It's always been reprimand and reprimand and hours and hours of her yelling at me for pointless shit. She claims that I'm the one whose the bitch because I don't want to spend a second with her, but she doesn't realize that she's the reason why I don't want to spend another second with her because she has destroyed my life. I was a horseback rider since I was two years old. I used to eat, sleep, and breathing horseback riding. I'd spend 3-4 hours a day everyday of the week at the barn. I had the most amazing group of friends that I did everything with. Then she ripped me away from my best friends and sold my lovely and adoring horse that I had for three years (we were best buds, he would follow me around like a little puppy dog and come when I called) and spent all the money she made from selling him to buy dress after dress and other expensive clothing and nonessentials. My horse and riding was everything to me. She practically ripped away my identity and everything I loved. I never see my friends from the barn anymore and my friends at school are heartless people who judge people on the outfits I wear and they don't treat me like a friend. They use me and ignore me and treat me like shit when I'm always asking how their day is and being nice. I'm a tough person so I've tried for the past year to brush things off and keep a smile on my face, but I cant do it anymore. I'm tired of pretending to be happy and I'm tired of everything. It seems that the only emotions I truly feel lately are anger, hatred, and sadness. I fell for a boy who I was friends with. His name is Ben. He was in love with my best friend Lauren. Lauren doesnt love Ben back and she's told him, but he won't give up. She's always talking about hating the attention that he gives her, the attention that I would die for and hes always talking about new ways to try and get her to fall in love with him. Sitting there day after day has just killed me. There's so much more fucked up in my life that I just can't even express...I'm dying slowly and painfully from this and I feel alone


Votes:


Similar Entries:
I do things for others. But not for myself November 19, 2010
Sad July 10, 2012
I wish I had a better mother.  January 3, 2012
fucking cunt of a mother 21 year old story January 14, 2012
Life is shit January 9, 2011



New Comment

Comments:
By Cursed at 11,Jun,12 15:31

Hey sweetie-
I was horse crazy too:) I am so sad to hear that your mum is such a self-centered bee. You know, you won't be living under her thumb forever. Keep your love for horses- they are way better than boys. And remember that someday, you'll once again be able to have your own horse. Study hard, work hard, and when the time is right, you can one day have your horses back- And don't worry, there will be more boys down the pipeline. Ben has his head up his ass-
Keep strong girl-
Cursed


By anonymous at 01,Sep,12 20:19

And my final comment to all you degenerates who harassed me is FUCK YOU ASSHOLES.


By luis at 13,Sep,12 07:17

Take a look, there’s videos and piuretcs you can seeThe thing behind the smiles is His royal majestyThe source of Light, The source of Grace, forgiveness without endOur Lord and Savior Jesus Christ wants to be your friend So if you’ve questions about purpose, meaning in this lifeAbout the loved ones that you’ve lost and all the worldly strifePull up the “contact” page and ask us, we’ll do our very bestTo show you why we love God back, and how Christ changed our lifes


By anonymous at 11,Feb,13 20:57

atleast you have a mom mine died when i was 10 i loved her so much i viset her grave ever week): your lucky you sould love her


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By anonymous at 25,Sep,13 19:44

I am so sorry for all the pain you are expressing. It sounds to me like you feel unable to attain the life you used to have. I am hearing you say that you feel a disconnect with the people around you. Also, i sense a desire in you for genuine and authentic friendships. That is a beautiful thing to want. I hear the depth of pain and loneliness in your story. I feel like there is a longing for the people around you to understand your value and stop belittling you. Please know that you have been heard today. I hope peace for you.


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