|Posted by luckyforlife at July 12, 2012|
Abuse. Pain. Being laughed and bullied by people I know and don't let alone by my own family. I've had all of it, my life has been breif for I am only 12,.. and all my memories. When I was little like 7yrs old I can remember my dad smashing my head into a wall yelling at me,and when I was 5yrs old my sister was hurting me and my mom saw her do it, I can remember looking at my mother with tears and she looked strait at me and didn't care. A lot of times I used to ,and sometimes I still do, go to sleep crying asking God why waz I put on earth, then I read the articles writen by other people on this site and I feel bad for them because I know how it feels I know what its like to. be laughed at by class mates and so called friends and even family and how it feels to want to die, and what its like for your family to not accept you, it hurts dosent it,some times I would go to bed contemplating weather I should take a knife and kill my self and I used to lock my self in a room and cut my self with scissors not enough to bleed but for it to hurt, the cuts are all heald now except for two deep ones, one in my wrist and one in my heart. Unlike a real cut in the skin instead of a bandaid the theoreticle injury in the heart needs love, something a lot of us don't feel we have. But in truth we do have it but we have it to give we don't have what is soposed to be given (refering to the people with fucked up lives like me). So I'm going to give my love to you guys out there who don't th...
|Posted by differentstarr at July 12, 2012|
You saw part of my life in too much drama'n'trama, heres the rest. Im 12, a few years ago, i noticed my breath was influencing the wind speed. And i noticed it again, and again. My anger issues became worse so i was instructed to meditate. When i did so my hands turned pale orange and became numb. I looked it up online and discovered aerokinesis. The control of air. I have been practicing. Well i know that it highly dangerous if i lose control. I haven't told my best friends about this. I know what you're thinking, your life is awesome, you have a super power. But i fear that i could hurt my friends. I only have 5 left. My other friend's moms believe im a bad influence on their children. Im afraid if i tell someone unless their lives depend on it, they will think im a witch. Im a Christian, i go to church every Sunday and Wednesday, i read the bible, and i pray. Im afraid to develop crushes(for im at that age) because i don't want them to be afraid or get hurt. My 5 friends are all from my church. I want to protect my friends, family, and schoolmates.
|Posted by anonymous at July 12, 2012|
I think this is the only place i can actually rant about my life and not worry about anyone trash talking do saying "get the fuck over it"...im barely 14 and throughout my childhood i was apways a troublemaker because it always brought my parents closer. When i behave good they always fight and i have traumatized by their arguments divorce ever since. My parents just recently had their divorce and my mom forced my dad away to another country. He wasnt able to see me culminate from 8th grader :( now its the same thing over and over, my mom always gets obsessed in proving my dad was having an affair and now she was interrogating me with question afte question. As any normal person would react, i told her she was overreacting with it and she started to rage and told me she was going to send me to where my father is. Its not like i hate my dad or anything but i just dont have the strength to move on. I always got straight A's in school but now i just want to stop trying in school. As of now no one cares for me anymore. My few close friends have moved schools already and all of my friends are already busy either with school or relationships. I know everyone would just tell me to get a girlfriend but i have only cared about two people and after i confessed that i liked, even loved them (both at different times and both have been my close friends for years) one of them just ignores from there on and starts hanging out with my friends...and the last day of school she said goodbye...
|Posted by anonymous at July 12, 2012|
I am about to be 28, trying to make it at a prestigous graduate school, but got sick and had to return home to my family while I recover. I am not sure I will be able to finish, because my grad school is in NY, and I get sick from the stress of NY lifestyle as I am from a rural town originally. I am not sure I can afford the loans needed to finish grad school and might need to drop out even though I have straight A's. My hair started to fall out from getting sick and I am not rich and cannot afford the loans.
My longtime girlfriend who I am madly in love with and have done everything I could for her, won't speak to me currently because she is out of state, and would rather marry someone with more money than me, even though we love each other. She told me so.
I am 28 and living with my mom who has been diagnosed with a mental disorder that drives me insane, and my dad has been called a deadbeat, they cannot help me at all, and I cannot finish affording school to spend my whole life what I was trying to do.
I currently only have one friend that answers my calls, I am all alone since my girlfriend is going through a hard time in her life and secluded herself, and won't speak to me at all, leaving me heartbroken on top of it.
|Posted by anonymous at July 12, 2012|
i am 14 years old. no one cares about my feelings .and it makes me so upset when i am sad i just can cry(i can't spend even one day with out crying) because no one can under stand how do i feel i have a lot of things to say and there is no one to listen to me i think i'm alone i am hopeless a bout many things in my life even the future i hate my life my life is empty!i hate my life i hate it when there is no one to under stand how do i feel i just can say that i hate my life !life sucks!
|Posted by bEn at July 12, 2012|
I was fired from my job of three years completely out of the blue via text message while on vacation. I was not given a reason or explanation. Once I was given the reason, over one week later, it was all false and I am having serious problems getting over it. Ive been un employed now for almost 2 months. Im flat broke and so far have not even been able to collect unemployment. I find myself waking up to vivid life like dreams pretty much every night. The main problem is that I just dont get why I was fired. I never liked my job but it had a flexable schedule and allowed me to go back and work on finishing my college degree, which I now have to put on pause again bc IM FLAT BROKE! My ex employers were a small family run business who did lots of shady things. Shady things that included not paying overtime or benefits to employees working more than 40 hrs in a week, the way they pay some people under the table and some of them even collect unemployment. I was a good employee, was late to work twice in three years and never missed a day or called in sick. Ive tried everything to get over this, therapy, counseling and now am on an anti depression medicine. I just dont know what to do anymore. I wake up everyday and dont even want to get out of bed anymore. I have applied to 47 jobs the past 4 weeks and have not even received a call back or interview. Im just at my witts end now and really dont know what to do anymore. Life sucks and I hate it and Im tired of just sitting by watching others, less intelligent, less qualified and just down right worthless succeed with life while all I do is suffer. Best of luck to the rest you all...
|Posted by R M at July 12, 2012|
Honestly, I am so fucking weird and I just cant even pretend to be normal anymore! its like from being isolated or smoking too much or something. I get all flustered and red and I cant talk to people at all, or its very uncomfortable-for me and the other person. My ex really helped me realize how other people percieve me, before I didnt really realize if I was being weird or being laughed at or if people hated me, I have always been shy... I dont know that I was ever actually different or less awkward, maybe. After we broke up it was really hard on me and I dropped out of college and I didnt see anyone for a while,like nobody except my W**D guy and my mom. Things are coming together now- life wise but I cant talk to anyone I make these weird laughing sounds and trail off into nowhere, man I am so fucking weird, so fucking weird!! when it gets bad...I just go red and hot and then get this...I start fucking crying...in public, or wherever! It feels so stupid, I look so stupid and it happens with everyone now, even people I know well and the big problem once this happens I am too embarassed to ever speak to the person again and I cut them off forever. I m becoming fearful of going outside or seeing anyone at all. I can suffer through it for sure, but now everything is just something I am suffering through, like anything,,, a bike ride or a picninc or coffee or the beach- nothing is fun and everything is scary. Worst is I'm really worried that Ill never be normal or never be able to hide that Im not.
|Posted by Hate at July 12, 2012|
I hate the fact that I am a lazy, unmotivated piece of shit of a person. But weirdly I like myself the way I am. My laziness is rooted deep within me and I have no ambition to succeed in any way. I don't mind if I never get married. I don't mind if I lose my job and end up poor. I don't mind if I never amount to anything in life. I would love to live alone working part time at a minimal mind usage work and just coast.
I don't want to achieve success but I want to at least coast at mediocre without too much effort. The thing is, it seems there is no middle ground. It's either I starve to death or I succeed. However, I simply don't have the energy or the desire to dedicate my life to achieve the monetary and relationship success that modern culture has imposed upon us.
I would love to die. Get out of this miserable existence. What is so great about life? We are born to be slaves, to fight poverty, exchanging our time, vitality, and energy for money (and not plentiful money, just enough to pass along).
I don't know if life is worth it.
I want to thank all the trolls that are going to comment. I so love death wishes, and insults, it truly makes my day. Please indulge me with your hate. I thank you.
|Posted by burnedout at July 12, 2012|
I was a good student in college and the first half of medical school. For the past 2 years or so, I've been suffering from depression and anxiety(to the point where I actually passed out on the wards in front of the attending during my clinical rotations), tried several different kinds of meds, found out that I actually do have some symptoms of ADHD, and now I'm not going to graduate from medical school. I feel like my brain is broken. None of the meds have helped, and I still can't think clearly or concentrate enough to pass the one last exam I need to finish the degree. So many people I know have passed it easily, getting amazingly high scores, and to them it's no big deal. I have no idea what to do with my life after this. Four years wasted. I feel like I will never be a functioning member of society or contribute anything useful to the world.
|Posted by ynote at July 12, 2012|
my life turned to shit 2 yrs ago, worked for a company for 14 yrs and they decided to shut the factory down in 6 mths,so dec 2010 factory closes, no job but decent payout, 2 days later my mum dies, dealing with things not to bad,trouble getting work as over 50 yrs old, 4 mths later finally get work, 3 weeks after this my 25 yr marrage breaks up, ok life is life so get on with which I dont have a problem doing, while doing medicals for jobs there is blood in my urine, get this checked out and now they tell me I have renal cancer, but not just in one kidney in both, so into hossy fix what they can and have 2 mths off work, what money I had is long gone, now back to work, all I can get is casual work in factories, now all I can get is one day a week if I get lucky, stiil trying desparatly to get a job preferably in the mines but cant. well now I have enough to pay 3 weeks rent and $120. if I am lucky I will get a dole chq. and servive a few more weeks. I sit in my rented house with no company and wounder what I have done to deserve such a SHIT life, I dont expect to last a lot longer but it would have been nice to have a little money to do afew things before I kick the bucket, but I dont so I guess I will sit in my house and watch the world go bye. SO dont tell me about life being shit. I have a huge amount of luck and its all BAD. cheer up and make the most of your life it aint as bad as someone elses
|Posted by The pretender at July 12, 2012|
I'm sick of my job, accounting fking sucks. Not only is the pay Shiite but the job itself is such a fking shade of grey! Not to mention my boss....tired of being slammed for making mistakes. Seriously why play nasty games? Just tell me where I fkd up and why, don't make me feel absolutely pathetic because guess what! I have feelings too, asshole! And your non constructive criticism hurts my confidence, God dammit!
I have no idea why I moved to the middle of nowhere for a job that makes me miserable :'( I have no family here or friends outside if work. My life is my job, I dont have any real hobbies. Reading, DVDs and drinking are NOT activities people with real lives enjoy. I don't play any sports, going to the gym is not a sport!! Not the life a 21 year old girl should be living!
And why the fk haven't I met anyone in this god forsaken little town?
I miss my family so much. I haven't seen my mother in 4 years. Why does she have to live on the other side of the world? What the fk! Going to see her at the end of this year if I can stop spending do much fking $ and put shit aside. At least I've gotten to see dad but it's different with mum, every girl needs her mummy :'(
Sometimes I feel so lonely and there's this empty Space in my brain.
Just wonder how much longer I can pretend to enjoy my life. I have them fooled but cracks are showing.
Sometimes I feel if I were in life and death situation, I'd close my eyes peacefully instead of battling this pointless journey.
It's a dog eat dog world, people are terrible things.
|Posted by Major at July 12, 2012|
Hey. I've been facing this problem for a long time now. I try and try to put it to the back of my head because its so negative. I'm 26 years old and I still live at home with my parents. I don't choose to, but I don't make enough money to move out. All my money goes to helping them with bills because they are hurting themselves, my Dad has been screwing over his money at time. My mom and I have talks about it, but I'm not going to not help her because my dad is not doing what he's supposed to. This isn't about him though. I don't have a car and often have to borrow my dad's truck to get to work, or get dropped off by my parents. I look at some of my other friends, one stays with his brother and his girlfriend, another one stays with his sister and her husband, one joined the air force lived on her own for a minute and now has moved in with her friends. I went to college and got a 4 year Computer Science degree but could not find a job the entire first year after I graduated. I worked a few temp services and I got a job as s security officer. I've been working there for about 8 months now and I got a raise, and now I make $9.25 and hour. I don't live at home by choice, I just can't do anything right now. I have a college loan I have to pay off, the money I make from work goes to helping my parents with rent, light bill, and putting gas in their vehicles and buying groceries. After this I don't have any money left unless I put away money from other checks. I see people who ...
|Posted by Roshan Baral at July 12, 2012|
Choose a job.
Choose a career.
Choose a family.
Choose a fucking big television,
Choose washing machines, cars,
compact disc players, and electrical tin can openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance.
Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life . . . But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons.
|Posted by anonymous at July 12, 2012|
Alright so first of all I am 17 and a girl. Lately things have been crap and my mother definitely hasn't been helping .. Well actually it's because of her things have been so bad. I'll start from the very beginning so when i was 6 my parents got a divorce and I had to live with my mom. She has a lot of metal problems, she's not like crazy but she's bulimic and goes though depression all the time,, when I was younger none of this really affected me but since I was 15 I starte to realize that what she's doing isn't right .. So I tried to talk to her about it but that only made her mad. The more I tried to help the angier she got. That's about when she started drinking.. A lot . When she gets drunk, she scared me .. She says things like she going to kill herself then takes the car and leaves for hours.. I stopped trying to help her but it was hard watching her hurt herself like that, so I basically turned off all feelings. I started losing friends and my grades fell dramatically .. I got depressed. That was last year, now this year i had a friend who didn't give up on me and helped me though it. Once I was feeling better I got in a fight with my mom about how she's the reason I'm screwed up and how she never even noticed what I was going though. I just blamed her for everything.. So she kicked me out of the house. I started living at my friends house and things have gotten better. With my mom out of mind i was able to focus on what was happening at school which wasn't much better, People were calling me down, saying I was fat(Im 5'1 125lbs)..then my friend left and I moved back in with my mom.. I ignore her, we hardly talk. now all I cared about is my weight. I have always thought I was huge but that was comparing myself to my mom.. And well now I just want to be skinny .. I tried my moms way but I can't so I've stopped eating. It's been about a week and a half and I've lost 10lbs. I'm done with everything. Time to focus on me and what I want.
|Posted by LM at July 12, 2012|
If you thought your life sucks; you have no idea!! I’m only 23 but life couldn’t get any worse. For starters I lost my son 3 years ago, but it still feels like yesterday. He passed away right in front of me not even 2 feet away. A week later his father said “you’re not what I want anymore” bye. I’ve been picking up the pieces ever since. I work at a job I absolutely hate! Not only am I getting paid $6 less than 2 people in my exact position, but I can’t find another job or a part time job to save my life. All I really want to do is write music, but we all know how hard that industry is to break into. I’m constantly depressed, stressed, and I have anxiety attacks out the ass! Sad part is no one knows this about me; all they see is me pretending to be happy all damn day which is extremely exhausting. So when I get home I collapse into bed and do the same thing all over again the next day. Noting ever changes; nothing ever gets better…just another day like yesterday…life sucks
|Posted by anonymous at July 12, 2012|
So im 16 now, throughout my life ive never been able to keep friends. My family say its because they take advantage of me because im too nice.
Ever since i started high school life been with every different group of friend and have been pushed out and left alone.
In year 10 I thought i finally found a group where i thought i would be accepted i was happy...for the last time.
I dont know why this happened to me but it did, a rumour went round that i had a naked picture when diddnt. i lost all my friends and only 1 person would talk to me. everybody neglected me and even teachers said i was lying, nobody had seen this picture yet they all believed it. i felt lucky to keep one friend out of the whole school she was all i had but i recently lost her because she choose her boyfriend over me. Now im in year 11 i sit by myself in every class nobody talks to me im always alone. At home things are no better, my family dont believe me that its not me, my dad constantly mentally abuses me that the thought of it makes me cry, i find myself crying myself to sleep every night now he constantly puts me down calling me names and threatening to hit me my mums nice but snapps quickly and takes the mental abuse from my dad aswell.. and my brother hes so protective i cant go in the garden alone. ive ran away once just to get my head clear and now im seriously considering moving out and away for good.
|Posted by loser 27 at July 12, 2012|
My life sucks i am 27 i live with my dad for the last few weeks i have no jobs i was a home maker . I have 3 small children my husband got in drugs and i fou.d him .making out with an ugly biti have nothing no job no money my things are in a storage and i feel like shit
|Posted by Peda at July 12, 2012|
Where to start... Lets see im 36, not bad lookin at all and real nice but havent had a girlfriend in 6 years. I put myself through undergrad and graduate school and was workin A professional job where i was treated like shit for 2 years after grad school. On my way home from work last year i got hit by a van and it really messed me up. Ivebeen in and out of surgurys since then and lost my crappy job while on medical leave. Its so much to do alone and now i caint ride my bike or be in large shows or even walk that far. I thought i had friends but they dont respond to me and i dont have anyone to help me through this. I live in brooklyn surrounded by people doing things and having fun but i dont know how to make friends and my body hurts all the time. Im soooo board and lonly and hurt and secound guessing everything i do because no one seems to like me or respond when im interested in them. Ive been turned down so many times that im scared totry because i dont want to hurt anymore. Im really at my wits end ahhhhhhhhhhh
|Posted by :( at July 12, 2012|
No one hates their life more than me. If I were to write everything down explaining I would probably take up the whole page. The short version is I am damn near 30 overweight and ignored. I married young to the man of my "daydreams" and wanted to make it work for the two children that act like monsters 80% of the time.I have a twisted relationship and basically I'm damned if i do..damned if I dont. our relationship creates a void neither money or work can fulfill. I bust my ass everyday and afterward am told to go to hell.. After 9 years of marriage my husband ignores me because over the years I gained a few pounds and tells me almost daily I am not a priority. But of course his feelings would change if I lost weight. I literally live in hell and hope the real hell is a little better than what I am being subjected to.
|Posted by Stupid for trying at July 12, 2012|
Fuckit can't spell who cares. Spent my whole life trying to keep it together and intended end still lost it. Maybe if I didn't have to work all the time to provide a life that we couldn't afford because she couldn't live inside our means. I have only myself to blame I should have said stop a long time ago. It doesn't matter now.