|Posted by anonymous at July 10, 2012|
I don't think I've gone a night without crying since I was little, seriously. I always get the feeling where I just want to go home even though I am home, It's really hard to put my feelings into words I never talk about my feelings but when I do i tear up for some reason and I hate crying in front of people so I just bottle everything up and carry on.. I have friends, I've had plenty of friends but I just push everyone away I prefer staying in than going out but it seems everyone else in the world wants to go out to party's, get drunk, do drugs but that's not what I want to do so I just stay in, this sounds like i'm just pitying myself feeling sorry for myself but I really don't feel like I don't belong, I haven't had a hug of my dad since I was little I miss him so much even though I see him everyday I feel like he doesn't care even though he obviously does he just doesn't express his feelings, like me I guess..
This is really long and if you do read this I thank-you for taking notice in what I have to say, this is honestly the first time I have told anyone about myself and how I feel. I get told that I'm always 'happy' and always laughing and stuff and I just laugh and agree when I am DEFINITIVELY not! I have self harmed, considered suicide, even though I know I don't have the worst life ever I feel like I do..
I'm to shy to talk to any boys in person therefore I never get close to any romantically, I haven't had a proper boyfriend since I was 11 years old...
|Posted by Teased at July 10, 2012|
I really have a hard time facing teasing. This is not as bad as it sounds though. IT's not a big deal, but it's pretty annoying and I'm asking you for help. I'm on this forum for LGBT community. There's this guy I had some argument with and now he just provokes me upon evey occasion he can which I find exhausting. I don't show I'm bothered, I reply in a very confident way, but the guy has always something to say. How can I get him to stop ? Ignoring him doesn't help, trust me ignoring juste makes them think you're afraid of them so they go on.
|Posted by ilya n at July 10, 2012|
hi there, just need to tell somebody that my life sucks big time even though that won't help anybody. i'm stuck in this suburb of Moscow with no prospect in life and it feels it's going downhill right now. I'm 23 with no real friends and no girlfriend never been in a close relationship with anyone and can't even socialize normally. people think i'm weird all the time no matter what i do it's ridiculous. i just think of my life as a loner until i die and it feels so bad. i've got quite a bit of money now and if you go around here everybody's mostly poor and they will try to scam you if they know u got cash. i hate that i can't stand up for myself i dunno how this can be fixed. i start to give up on myself and lose interest in life at all because it really looks like no matter what i do i will fail. sometimes i think that i hate my parents and i wish i wouldn't have been born.
|Posted by Kate at July 10, 2012|
I wouldn't even have visited this page if it weren't for my dad . I'm an Indian - a high society south Indian . Back at home , we live in a relatively underdeveloped land . Except the scenic beauty , there is nothing much enticing there . My dad happens to be the ideal man around back at home land . People practically worship him there . But behind the closed curtains of home , he is an in curable sadist and male chauvinist pig . As far as I remember , he has treated my mother like trash and us kids like he has hated us forever . I don't remember a single word of love or endearment from him . Considering the fact that many think we live a happy life at home - this is pathetic . I had high grades in school , topped the whole state , but he never let me pursue my dreams . He let me do my studies in an evening school - i had to watch on when other friends who were less talented and less smarter than me achieved greater success in life . He orders us around . Think that we are creatures of devils and sluts who will throw themselves at the feet of other men If we are let loose . He doesn't let us go out . Does not allow us to work and pretends like he is the best family man outside , talking of religion all the time. I hate seeing his face .
My house is designed In a way that I am forced to see his face at least twice a day - not to mention , he beats us up like dead snakes with leather belt at his mercy . I dream of running away to a new life . But he has hampered my confidence In such a way that I feel I am useless any more .
And now , he is going to force me to marry men who are older - I'm barely 21 and he wants me to marry men who are 29 and 30 - men whom I haven't evenly before , this is what sadist Indian fathers do . I'm stuck in a hell hole and I am thinking .
|Posted by Livi at July 11, 2012|
Im only 16 but im always lonely my family cant see my pain and wont understand i hate all my friends all of them are liars and every day i spend my time alone and every day i wish i had someone to talk to and every day i wish someone would hold me and kiss me like the mean it like they love me i hate falling asleep alone i dont even have dreams my mind is numb my life is numb i am alone and every day i pray for it to end and every day starts and ends the same every day i am alone
|Posted by anonymous at July 11, 2012|
I was born a crack addicted dumpster baby in Johanisberg, Africa. My step brother, Mah-Fufu found me in the trash where he took pitty on me and took me in. We both took care of each other, getting by everyday on rubber tire shoes and snacking on trash scrapes people threw out. Then one day a rebel army came in and shot Mah-Fufu dead. They then took me in as a rebel child soldier where they hooked me on heroine. I couldn't leave and they forced me to kill people. I hated the rebels but I grew close to another kid who went through the samething as I. His name was Ma-Fufu II. Then one day, the americans bombed our unit and Ma-Fufu the 2 was no more. I lost all my limbs but managed to survive as I dragged myself to a refugee camp by my chin. Since I was a limbless child, the americans put me through an adoption facility where celebrities adopted kids from africa. Luckily someone took me in and I made it into America.
Now I am a 25 year old limbless adult with no job or friends. I have become a freak and have never had a gf. My siblings and parents died yesterday in a plane crash. They were on that plane because they wanted to see me and how I was adjusting to living on my own. Worst of all I can't find a job. All jobs require a person to be able to lift 25 pounds. I can't even do that. I'm a drain on society and totally worthless. What do I do?
|Posted by lizliz at July 11, 2012|
I am 22 i got married a couple of months ago but we werent living together, now he doesnt even want to talk to me and he is talking to other girls, all my friends are gone, i live at home with my parents i have no car and no job, i feel like all i need is someone to talk to cuz i never leave my house and i still love him but he doesnt love me back. i feel like i wish i had a friend and i feel so lonely all i do is sleep. i try to text him and call him but he ignores me.hat should i do? im gonna end up something stupid if i dont get help because i cant take it anymore i have no life and no one wants me around
|Posted by Georgie at July 11, 2012|
Hello fellow life dwellers of the moment
Well first of all how i stumbled across this website ? I was actually googleing the definition of shit sucks because at the time that is how I was seeing things.
This year i moved from my home town of 18 years to venture to a new bigger place. In order for me to move I had to have direction in order for this i enrolled to do a course I was unsure if it was even what I wanted to do. Its ended up being really hard but I need to stick it out and I was very lucky to have got a casual job as a Pizza Cook as-well however the job is also very fast paced and I seem to make mistakes left right and center. I've had one sickness after another since moving here. Every time i leave the house clouds come out of nowhere and it starts raining. I seem to loose all items of importance and manage to somehow miss out on important events for instance my course orientation. I've yet to make one friend so far and between putting myself out there constantly, going to work and my course i'm beginning to wonder if it's even possible to make friends once you graduate from school. None seems to miss me and upon my new found loneliness i foolishly went back to my cheating ex to only be ditched after a week for him finding another girl. My finacial situation is that I live from pay check to pay check money going on food/rent and medical things from getting sick. On top of these things I have no sellfasteem left and constantly feel like a failure. Can someone please out there help me to put things into perspective or share wisdom from their experiences.
|Posted by luckyforlife at July 12, 2012|
Abuse. Pain. Being laughed and bullied by people I know and don't let alone by my own family. I've had all of it, my life has been breif for I am only 12,.. and all my memories. When I was little like 7yrs old I can remember my dad smashing my head into a wall yelling at me,and when I was 5yrs old my sister was hurting me and my mom saw her do it, I can remember looking at my mother with tears and she looked strait at me and didn't care. A lot of times I used to ,and sometimes I still do, go to sleep crying asking God why waz I put on earth, then I read the articles writen by other people on this site and I feel bad for them because I know how it feels I know what its like to. be laughed at by class mates and so called friends and even family and how it feels to want to die, and what its like for your family to not accept you, it hurts dosent it,some times I would go to bed contemplating weather I should take a knife and kill my self and I used to lock my self in a room and cut my self with scissors not enough to bleed but for it to hurt, the cuts are all heald now except for two deep ones, one in my wrist and one in my heart. Unlike a real cut in the skin instead of a bandaid the theoreticle injury in the heart needs love, something a lot of us don't feel we have. But in truth we do have it but we have it to give we don't have what is soposed to be given (refering to the people with fucked up lives like me). So I'm going to give my love to you guys out there who don't th...
|Posted by differentstarr at July 12, 2012|
You saw part of my life in too much drama'n'trama, heres the rest. Im 12, a few years ago, i noticed my breath was influencing the wind speed. And i noticed it again, and again. My anger issues became worse so i was instructed to meditate. When i did so my hands turned pale orange and became numb. I looked it up online and discovered aerokinesis. The control of air. I have been practicing. Well i know that it highly dangerous if i lose control. I haven't told my best friends about this. I know what you're thinking, your life is awesome, you have a super power. But i fear that i could hurt my friends. I only have 5 left. My other friend's moms believe im a bad influence on their children. Im afraid if i tell someone unless their lives depend on it, they will think im a witch. Im a Christian, i go to church every Sunday and Wednesday, i read the bible, and i pray. Im afraid to develop crushes(for im at that age) because i don't want them to be afraid or get hurt. My 5 friends are all from my church. I want to protect my friends, family, and schoolmates.
|Posted by anonymous at July 12, 2012|
I think this is the only place i can actually rant about my life and not worry about anyone trash talking do saying "get the fuck over it"...im barely 14 and throughout my childhood i was apways a troublemaker because it always brought my parents closer. When i behave good they always fight and i have traumatized by their arguments divorce ever since. My parents just recently had their divorce and my mom forced my dad away to another country. He wasnt able to see me culminate from 8th grader :( now its the same thing over and over, my mom always gets obsessed in proving my dad was having an affair and now she was interrogating me with question afte question. As any normal person would react, i told her she was overreacting with it and she started to rage and told me she was going to send me to where my father is. Its not like i hate my dad or anything but i just dont have the strength to move on. I always got straight A's in school but now i just want to stop trying in school. As of now no one cares for me anymore. My few close friends have moved schools already and all of my friends are already busy either with school or relationships. I know everyone would just tell me to get a girlfriend but i have only cared about two people and after i confessed that i liked, even loved them (both at different times and both have been my close friends for years) one of them just ignores from there on and starts hanging out with my friends...and the last day of school she said goodbye...
|Posted by anonymous at July 12, 2012|
I am about to be 28, trying to make it at a prestigous graduate school, but got sick and had to return home to my family while I recover. I am not sure I will be able to finish, because my grad school is in NY, and I get sick from the stress of NY lifestyle as I am from a rural town originally. I am not sure I can afford the loans needed to finish grad school and might need to drop out even though I have straight A's. My hair started to fall out from getting sick and I am not rich and cannot afford the loans.
My longtime girlfriend who I am madly in love with and have done everything I could for her, won't speak to me currently because she is out of state, and would rather marry someone with more money than me, even though we love each other. She told me so.
I am 28 and living with my mom who has been diagnosed with a mental disorder that drives me insane, and my dad has been called a deadbeat, they cannot help me at all, and I cannot finish affording school to spend my whole life what I was trying to do.
I currently only have one friend that answers my calls, I am all alone since my girlfriend is going through a hard time in her life and secluded herself, and won't speak to me at all, leaving me heartbroken on top of it.
|Posted by anonymous at July 12, 2012|
i am 14 years old. no one cares about my feelings .and it makes me so upset when i am sad i just can cry(i can't spend even one day with out crying) because no one can under stand how do i feel i have a lot of things to say and there is no one to listen to me i think i'm alone i am hopeless a bout many things in my life even the future i hate my life my life is empty!i hate my life i hate it when there is no one to under stand how do i feel i just can say that i hate my life !life sucks!
|Posted by bEn at July 12, 2012|
I was fired from my job of three years completely out of the blue via text message while on vacation. I was not given a reason or explanation. Once I was given the reason, over one week later, it was all false and I am having serious problems getting over it. Ive been un employed now for almost 2 months. Im flat broke and so far have not even been able to collect unemployment. I find myself waking up to vivid life like dreams pretty much every night. The main problem is that I just dont get why I was fired. I never liked my job but it had a flexable schedule and allowed me to go back and work on finishing my college degree, which I now have to put on pause again bc IM FLAT BROKE! My ex employers were a small family run business who did lots of shady things. Shady things that included not paying overtime or benefits to employees working more than 40 hrs in a week, the way they pay some people under the table and some of them even collect unemployment. I was a good employee, was late to work twice in three years and never missed a day or called in sick. Ive tried everything to get over this, therapy, counseling and now am on an anti depression medicine. I just dont know what to do anymore. I wake up everyday and dont even want to get out of bed anymore. I have applied to 47 jobs the past 4 weeks and have not even received a call back or interview. Im just at my witts end now and really dont know what to do anymore. Life sucks and I hate it and Im tired of just sitting by watching others, less intelligent, less qualified and just down right worthless succeed with life while all I do is suffer. Best of luck to the rest you all...
|Posted by R M at July 12, 2012|
Honestly, I am so fucking weird and I just cant even pretend to be normal anymore! its like from being isolated or smoking too much or something. I get all flustered and red and I cant talk to people at all, or its very uncomfortable-for me and the other person. My ex really helped me realize how other people percieve me, before I didnt really realize if I was being weird or being laughed at or if people hated me, I have always been shy... I dont know that I was ever actually different or less awkward, maybe. After we broke up it was really hard on me and I dropped out of college and I didnt see anyone for a while,like nobody except my W**D guy and my mom. Things are coming together now- life wise but I cant talk to anyone I make these weird laughing sounds and trail off into nowhere, man I am so fucking weird, so fucking weird!! when it gets bad...I just go red and hot and then get this...I start fucking crying...in public, or wherever! It feels so stupid, I look so stupid and it happens with everyone now, even people I know well and the big problem once this happens I am too embarassed to ever speak to the person again and I cut them off forever. I m becoming fearful of going outside or seeing anyone at all. I can suffer through it for sure, but now everything is just something I am suffering through, like anything,,, a bike ride or a picninc or coffee or the beach- nothing is fun and everything is scary. Worst is I'm really worried that Ill never be normal or never be able to hide that Im not.
|Posted by Hate at July 12, 2012|
I hate the fact that I am a lazy, unmotivated piece of shit of a person. But weirdly I like myself the way I am. My laziness is rooted deep within me and I have no ambition to succeed in any way. I don't mind if I never get married. I don't mind if I lose my job and end up poor. I don't mind if I never amount to anything in life. I would love to live alone working part time at a minimal mind usage work and just coast.
I don't want to achieve success but I want to at least coast at mediocre without too much effort. The thing is, it seems there is no middle ground. It's either I starve to death or I succeed. However, I simply don't have the energy or the desire to dedicate my life to achieve the monetary and relationship success that modern culture has imposed upon us.
I would love to die. Get out of this miserable existence. What is so great about life? We are born to be slaves, to fight poverty, exchanging our time, vitality, and energy for money (and not plentiful money, just enough to pass along).
I don't know if life is worth it.
I want to thank all the trolls that are going to comment. I so love death wishes, and insults, it truly makes my day. Please indulge me with your hate. I thank you.
|Posted by burnedout at July 12, 2012|
I was a good student in college and the first half of medical school. For the past 2 years or so, I've been suffering from depression and anxiety(to the point where I actually passed out on the wards in front of the attending during my clinical rotations), tried several different kinds of meds, found out that I actually do have some symptoms of ADHD, and now I'm not going to graduate from medical school. I feel like my brain is broken. None of the meds have helped, and I still can't think clearly or concentrate enough to pass the one last exam I need to finish the degree. So many people I know have passed it easily, getting amazingly high scores, and to them it's no big deal. I have no idea what to do with my life after this. Four years wasted. I feel like I will never be a functioning member of society or contribute anything useful to the world.
|Posted by ynote at July 12, 2012|
my life turned to shit 2 yrs ago, worked for a company for 14 yrs and they decided to shut the factory down in 6 mths,so dec 2010 factory closes, no job but decent payout, 2 days later my mum dies, dealing with things not to bad,trouble getting work as over 50 yrs old, 4 mths later finally get work, 3 weeks after this my 25 yr marrage breaks up, ok life is life so get on with which I dont have a problem doing, while doing medicals for jobs there is blood in my urine, get this checked out and now they tell me I have renal cancer, but not just in one kidney in both, so into hossy fix what they can and have 2 mths off work, what money I had is long gone, now back to work, all I can get is casual work in factories, now all I can get is one day a week if I get lucky, stiil trying desparatly to get a job preferably in the mines but cant. well now I have enough to pay 3 weeks rent and $120. if I am lucky I will get a dole chq. and servive a few more weeks. I sit in my rented house with no company and wounder what I have done to deserve such a SHIT life, I dont expect to last a lot longer but it would have been nice to have a little money to do afew things before I kick the bucket, but I dont so I guess I will sit in my house and watch the world go bye. SO dont tell me about life being shit. I have a huge amount of luck and its all BAD. cheer up and make the most of your life it aint as bad as someone elses
|Posted by The pretender at July 12, 2012|
I'm sick of my job, accounting fking sucks. Not only is the pay Shiite but the job itself is such a fking shade of grey! Not to mention my boss....tired of being slammed for making mistakes. Seriously why play nasty games? Just tell me where I fkd up and why, don't make me feel absolutely pathetic because guess what! I have feelings too, asshole! And your non constructive criticism hurts my confidence, God dammit!
I have no idea why I moved to the middle of nowhere for a job that makes me miserable :'( I have no family here or friends outside if work. My life is my job, I dont have any real hobbies. Reading, DVDs and drinking are NOT activities people with real lives enjoy. I don't play any sports, going to the gym is not a sport!! Not the life a 21 year old girl should be living!
And why the fk haven't I met anyone in this god forsaken little town?
I miss my family so much. I haven't seen my mother in 4 years. Why does she have to live on the other side of the world? What the fk! Going to see her at the end of this year if I can stop spending do much fking $ and put shit aside. At least I've gotten to see dad but it's different with mum, every girl needs her mummy :'(
Sometimes I feel so lonely and there's this empty Space in my brain.
Just wonder how much longer I can pretend to enjoy my life. I have them fooled but cracks are showing.
Sometimes I feel if I were in life and death situation, I'd close my eyes peacefully instead of battling this pointless journey.
It's a dog eat dog world, people are terrible things.
|Posted by Major at July 12, 2012|
Hey. I've been facing this problem for a long time now. I try and try to put it to the back of my head because its so negative. I'm 26 years old and I still live at home with my parents. I don't choose to, but I don't make enough money to move out. All my money goes to helping them with bills because they are hurting themselves, my Dad has been screwing over his money at time. My mom and I have talks about it, but I'm not going to not help her because my dad is not doing what he's supposed to. This isn't about him though. I don't have a car and often have to borrow my dad's truck to get to work, or get dropped off by my parents. I look at some of my other friends, one stays with his brother and his girlfriend, another one stays with his sister and her husband, one joined the air force lived on her own for a minute and now has moved in with her friends. I went to college and got a 4 year Computer Science degree but could not find a job the entire first year after I graduated. I worked a few temp services and I got a job as s security officer. I've been working there for about 8 months now and I got a raise, and now I make $9.25 and hour. I don't live at home by choice, I just can't do anything right now. I have a college loan I have to pay off, the money I make from work goes to helping my parents with rent, light bill, and putting gas in their vehicles and buying groceries. After this I don't have any money left unless I put away money from other checks. I see people who ...