| | Posted by anonymous at August 5, 2010 |
Hi, everybody... I guess, that's what I should say at first
IT ISN'T WORTH READING... BECAUSE THE ONLY REASON I'M WRITING IT RIGHT NOW IS THAT I'M TOO WEAK. I'M JUST TOO WEAK.
I'm 17. Some years ago I had a dream, and that's what I lived for. I wanted to live in Moscow, I wanted to enter very prestigious University, to earn big sums of money, to be popular. I really wanted this stuff(Besides, as I'm Russian, I want to apologize for my bad English)
But some time ago I fell in love and I just felt how happy I could be. And all this stuff like Moscow, popularity, studying, money, became too meaningless for me. But this relationships with the boy included nothing but sex for him. And I broke up with him at the beginning of the summer.
Now I don't have love and I don't have a dream either. Though in a few weeks I will be in Moscow. Seems like my old dreams have come true.
I just need something to get over this crap. But I don't know what. Friends can't tell me that, parents don't even know about the situation.
And every day I only cry because of good and bad memories when life still meant something to me.
If someone read this stuff, thank u very much. |
| | Posted by Moons at August 5, 2010 |
A couple of years ago I graduated from engineering School and found a pretty great job far away from home.I earned a lot, had a great social life and a great girlfriend. I started to save up money to start my own business in a few years.
Then a few of months ago my single mom who raised me alone got sick so I came back to my very small hometown spent all my savings on my mom's Medical bills.
Now I take care of my mom who can't work anymore and since she was in charge of my grandma and a little girl she adopted a few years ago I am now in charge of them too.
So here I am back to my teenager room in my mom's house, working for less than half what I earned before and spending all of it on my mom, my grandma and my sis... |
| | Posted by anonymous at August 5, 2010 |
My fate is probably the worst ever , it's not because of violence, nor drugs or sexual abuse... it's rejection, loneliness my own wish
I know that i cannot be normal again, i will never have peace, friends, bf, job, normal life...
I was born in very small town in happy family,10 years raised mostly by my grandmother and grandfather and aunt ... we had big house with everything we needed
Till my stupid childish mother found another man, by women standarts he can be considered handsome, well i didn't gave a shit about him ( a big fuckin mistake)didn't pay attention of how stupid he was, he took my mother and me to live with him in a big city: Like all other men he was nice at the beggining , 3 more years and he became a fucking annoying prick , my mother was still in love with him , they were poor ,the stupid fuck didn't knew how the money thing work and by my 13 birthday i was very slim starved kid. The prick always loved to blame the others for his failures to uderstand how the world works, it was me mostly. I became the stupid ugly anorexic quiet kid , i started to listen to rock and buy beer with stolen money. i was completly rejected by society , the school was hell the worst time of my life , it was horrible i could never wish this upon my wrost enemy. Smile there smile here , i became the something is not in right in this kid head - kid, the problems home were all the same , i was blamed even if is was raining outside or it was too hot. I di... |
| | Posted by oliverplt at August 5, 2010 |
Life does suck alot of the time. I have a masters degree work for the government and a retail store. I book over 60 hours a week, sometimes over seventy just to get by and pay the bills. I lost 2 jobs in the recession, I had to move away from the town I lived in for 5 years. My boyfriend of eight years moved there to be with me and after I lost my first job I had to move away and find another job. WE hardly ever get to see each other or talk. he probably will never marry me. I am getting old (ok...thirty now) and want to have kids...or do I in this crazy world. One sister is an ex heroin addict of 4 years, another sister and her husband are cocaine addicts...my two older sisters mind you. My brother is having psycotic episodes...everyone thinks I am crazy.....I am a workaholic, I want life to work out good, but I keep working at a pace that is tearing me down and I fear that I am getting nowhere. The current is anything, is knocking my back three yards a minute and I am doing everything in my power to keep my head above the water and breath. I am running low on energy and am afraid that I may drown at any moment. I can't breath and have anxiety attacks more and more frequently.. I think I need professional help, but can't find any time to even breath. I am an empath and take on everyone else energy and that really sucks when you are around pissed off, angry, judgemental people. My head swirls and now my stomach and heart hurt all the time. I can't sleep. I am hoping it will one day get better...
BUT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I KNOW THAT MY LIFE IS BETTER THAN SO MANY AND I MUSt REMIND MYSELf to BE GRATEFUL.
I am not sure if there is a GOD. I am afraid of the water I drink, that food I eat and everything else because of chemicals we had infested everything with. Life is grand. |
| | Posted by Sandy at August 4, 2010 |
My life sucks right here right now, because I married a dumbass and I got divorced, with a little kid of one year old, then I met another dumbass who is not what i thought, at the begining of our relationship he was very tender and loving, but suddenly he has changed a lot, he is really cold and selfish, cero romantic and cero warm. So i feel a big lack of love and tenderness in my live and I feel my heart with a lot of pain and loneliness. And I hate when i see in the street guys embracing their girls, and I feel so lonely and loveless. With this guy i have a kid so that makes two kids from different men, thats not the problem but he doesn't like my older son and I feel I've thrown my life to the toilet.
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| | Posted by flower at August 4, 2010 |
my life really sucks,,my parents are kinda of people who always think that a girl is born as a pain in ass,,,bloody hell iv never been let free in my life, have always had restrictions jus bcoz im a girl..iv done enough of compromises and givin up a lot of things. the biggest mistake of my life was to fall in love at the age of 17 where i couldnt decide what was right and what was not,,and got married to the person whom i loved at the age of 19 goin against my parents decision, But life was worse than what it was before,,i beleived that il get the freedom and independence that i had lost till den. The person whom i thought i loved was worse than my parents, He has no respect for women, he started hittin me, and was very abusive,,Now im seekin my parents support to come out of this relation but they are not ready to help me coz i chose this life,,y d hell does a girl have so many problems,,and y is life givin me so much of pain,not even a day was i able to myself and lead my life,,m goin mad,,,life really sucks to the core,,,, |
| | Posted by hate life at August 4, 2010 |
im 16 and just about to finish my last year in school..
my parents hate me they say it 2 me all the time and they laugh in my face.. they want me out of the house when im 17. thats feb its now aug..
i have 3 brothers they are 18 and 20 they beat me up everyday.. 1 is 11 and i love him 2 bits .. id do jail 4 any1 that hurt him..
i had 3 best friends that i loved so so so much =( shelly was 16 hung herself in jan 2010.. chelsea was 15 hung herself march 2010... and then tom who made my life so much better (he was only a friend because he was 26) he crashd and died in july .. iv no1 to turn2 so im better off dead... |
| | Posted by nitin at August 3, 2010 |
I have worked sincerely since one year to study ms in usa...i did not opt for job but took up an internship to strenghten myself in basics......most of them who go for ms do not return back to their home country...but i was doin my ms to work in a research company back here in my country...but they did not even give me 30 sec to present my case...they have rejected my visa twice..sayin tat i don intend to return back to my home country aftr my ms....people who say lies they issuethem....i don know how many people with wrong intentions have got visa...but for allmy hardwork just 30 secs to decide my fate was really meaningless |
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| Posted by anonymous at August 3, 2010 |
Imagine feeling that you have been dead for two years straight. I struggle with derealization everyday. My brain has shut down reality since I smoked laced weed two years ago, and everything feels like a cartoon. Derealization is a disorder I inherited, but the laced weed made it come out: so no longer do I enjoy eating, enjoy others, or enjoy comdey (as I used to), i only enjoy sleep.
I look at the ground and it changes shapes. I look at the ceiling and it zooms in closer to my face. I fail half the classes because the derealization scares me into sleeping 12 hours a day, missing college and work. I want to make it stop! I'm tired of living in this dream! |
| | Posted by KITKAT at August 3, 2010 |
My life sucks sooooooo bad. I got pregnant when I was 16, have been divorced twice since then and getting ready for a third divorce. I had a steady good paying job until this year, I was laid off and went from making 2,300 a month to making only 1,300. a month. As I mentioned, I also separated just a couple of weeks ago, and just this friday, I had a car accident that left me without a car. While I had full coverage, nothing happened, but about a month after i get on liability, I have the accident. This means I am screwed (as always) and left without a car. The point is, MY LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!. I wish I could stop my life. |
| | Posted by anonymous at August 3, 2010 |
When i was in 2nd grade i was outgoing,opened, and fairly popular. My 2 best friend were Anissa and BreAnn. I always felt like they were a little closer but at that age it didnt bother me all that mattered was that we were bffs. Well one day at recess they were like we want to talk to you. So we go over by the huge oak tree and their laughing and running behind it saying i can't say it. I'm thinking its something good. They come back around smiling and said 123 we don't want to be your friend anymore. I was standing there a crushed little girl and they think its funny. They leave and i just sit there in disbelief thankfully i had people to be there for me at recess. We got back to class and i couldnt help it and just started bawling we all had the same class. I know it was along time ago and i'm over it. Its just one of the times i've been let down by a friend thats caused me to become a different person. To put up walls and not trust hardly anyone....it just sucks. |
| | Posted by Carlos at August 3, 2010 |
When i was 7 i was raped several times by my mother, father and my brother. im 16 and have had atleast 14broken bones because of my parents beating me and they did nothing about it. im mexican and attending a mexican high school and i am constantly called a beaner and other racist names. when i turned 21 i was kicked out of my house and my mum and dad got a restraining order against because i saw someone about the abuse and they were fined. when i was 23 i asked my mum for money and my dad choked me for a while. at age 25 i started stealing to keep up with my drug addiction. Now i have been caught stealing a car and served 1year in jail. i got out and was depressed. i hated myself and attemped to kill myself several times FML.......
Why am i still alive? |
| | Posted by LIFE SUCKS. at August 2, 2010 |
my mom died giving birth to me i never new my farther.i was abused when i was little.the kids at school teased me.one day when i was 8 a bunch of kids threw rocks at me.when i was 11 i got stuck with a sleezy dude who always had his hands up my shirt.i dont even know why. im 12 have no social life chubby
ugly.and just yesterday my new parent/mom started slapping me sayingi was doing drugs.im not dont plan on it.id love to try sucide but dont every time.oh and i always smell bad. thats why my life sucks. |
| | Posted by Sammad at August 2, 2010 |
1.I live in Pakistan.I am a Muslim and in my country Muslim were divided in different categories i was a(Shea)i am proud to be a Shea but my class mates weren't all the time they made ridiculous excuses just to insult me or make fun.
i wasn't weak when i was a child i used to fight everyday and everyday i was punished by the teacher like they don't want to hear my side of truth.
and the more i fight i was hated by the kids.you see (Shea)is 2nd majority in Muslims it is mostly hated by all categories sometimes even the Shea kids used to mix up with the other kids to male fun of me just because so they wont get insulted.so i was a loner.huh
as i grew i stopped caring and so did some of the few boys with me.
2.then came the villain of my life i never knew what his problem was what did he always make fun of me with his friend blaming me of stuff that never happened.
he was and is my cousin every thing he used to make fun of me why
i am sory this is all i can write i dont know you will know my situation but i cant write any more this is use less this is never gonna help me |
| | Posted by aaron at August 2, 2010 |
I Really Loathe myself and i have done for many years. i hate living and everyday just got worse and worse not to mention i have been in depression and havnt worked EVER! i have been suicidal aswell many times but always failed,and i basically think it was becuse of myself i really disliked people alot and thought of them as FUCKING CUNTS! they treated me like shit! which effected my whole life... who gives a crap if it happened in the past? it still effected me really badly to which i kept to myself. I then went around not Caring about anything and DOING AS I PLEASED!,My family never cared about me they just left me as that and i just became worse and now we have all parted sepreate ways becuse of ME! and official reasons. i really dont think i have much to live for anymore i can sence my life is going to get even worse! and double worse! my Dads dead mabey i should join him? im worse than him.... and i even know it i doubt my family would give 2 shits if i were gone they hate me, and i dont blame them! ive been spoiled rotten by other family members which has screwed up my mind... thinking I can do anything i want! when i cant... and now i know that.... i am in the wrong! my preferences in life are all FUCKED UP! and if i didnt exist anymore i think i would be free.. i wish i could understand but i never will everythings a dream to me. |
| | Posted by annoymous at August 2, 2010 |
my life sucks. my fam is struggling finacially. when i was 6 i fell in love with gymnastics. i was never serious about it but one day i had a choice to join a club. i had exactly 2 seconds to make the choice and i said no. i was stupid. im serious about it-i didnt realize it till later. its harder than u think. imagine ur life without that one thing that u love b/c u were stupid and said no. and u are stuggling with money so its even harder to go back. imagine somethin like taylor swift never picking up the gutair b/c she didnt hv the money to. and she didnt noe she was serious about music. its been over 8 years and i regret it ever since. also my mom doesnt care and give a shit. she treats me like im 12 and it took me till i was 14 to finally buy me a bra. everyone got one in like the fifth grade. me? grade 9. and i fit b4 that. my mom doesnt care about my feelings at all. if my bf broke up with me she would tell me to suck it up. my dad-sont mentoin. my brother only cares about music and the computer. hes in university and dreads gong out. i faced so many friend dilemas tht no one ever has. my bff puts me down. none of my friends care. my bff told me she liked my bf while i was dating him. she didnt fel like it was a vad thing. he was a crappy bf anyway but i still liked him. i wish i knew he cheated mre than once. i stayed by him for over 9 months. i have onyl met one of my 50 cousins. i have never been to an amusment park. ppl always look at me like im a kid cuz i look young. i have a bad haircut. i had no friends when i headed into high school. ppl spreaded rumors about me. i already am shocked im saying all this. |
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| Posted by 1212 at August 1, 2010 |
I am came to US as so called mail order bride. My husband to be didnt have job. The apartment he brought me in didn't have furniture. He didnt have any aspects of future or interest besides sex. I didn't care. I was in love and i married him. A few weeks after arrival i got a job as a way to get out of the house. It is 10 years later. I have worked all this time, i put myself thru school, got better job, bought a house. He had some temporary jobs and havent worked a day for last 5 years. He does some chores and maintenance around the house, and prepares dinner. But I am still resenting him for not contributing. We fight for every little thing. I feel like he is bringing me down emotionally and materially. I dont love him. I dont even like him as a person. And i feel that he dont like me either. I am not social and he is not as well. I dont have any friends, relatives, or one close acquaintance on this continent. Only him. I wish to get divorce but i am afraid of loneliness. Everyday feel like i am betraying myself and ruining my life, but i cant divorce him or change things for better. I sux :( |
| | Posted by LOST! at August 1, 2010 |
I'm 25 years old....previously had a good job overseas , salary and going to be promoted soon...but all the good days were gone because of my dad...(well in this case, i can't blame my mum because she is a follower as usual).
for the past few weeks before i get promoted, my dad called me and begged me, said that he need my help to improve his business company, he explained that i would continue his legacy whatsoever and worst, he made me feel that what i got now is bad!!!!
Me, actually as a "big brother" in the family, would always try to set a good role
as a child...so i leaved my job, good career, friends and life back to my hometown with a good intention "to save my dad's business.
Few weeks after i returned, i started to smell something fishy....well, he set me a space inside his company, but never has talked to me anymore about his business...in short stories, he just don't want me to have a long distance life with my siblings and family...
I am so depressed and miserable now...never had thought in my mind before that my dad plays this kind of "politics" to set me up.....both of my parent now are treating me like a small boy...well, maybe i am always in their mind...but what about my life previously?....i want it back... and i fell trapped now...and LOST!!! what should i do?
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