LIFE SUCKS : 2010 August

HATED

EVERYONE HATES ME, TWO MAJOR BOY SCHOOLS AND TWO MAJOR YEAR LEVELS.
PLUS people at my school know, and the worst part is- it wasn't over anything major cos everyone has done it. Trust me.
By the way; I've been majorly fucked over by my "best friend", she fully betrayed my trust.

I am too forgiving.
EVERYONE HATES ME, it's hard to go anywhere without people knowing who I am, what I've done, where I am, what I'm doing etc.
FUCK OFF PEOPLE. Stop calling me a slut, bitch, cheater- just shut it! I'm so sick of it. I get enough shit from my parents as it is. I HATE THEM, THEY HATE ME. So fuck it, I want to die.
Kill me.

I miscarried

If some remember I posted that was rpae after the prom I di dget prgenant and did not know for three after the attack. I was due in December but now the baby is dead and not by abortion but by miscarriage. I was happy to be having child nd i knew the sex before i miscarried. It would have been a girl. I must give her name for a proper burial. i will name her Jennifer Hope. I pick names for my bay before hand when I find out what the sex is. Now I feel empty and scared. My parents are tring to help through this. School sarts Monday the funreal is set for Friday. I will get help to get over this pain that I feel.

Happy birthday

I'm only 12. My father died on my birthday. We ended up moving to Spokane with my mother's new boyfriend of two weeks. (Not the best idea.) He ended up kicking us out on the streets. We became friends with his ex-wife. She helped us until we were able to find an apartment. After moving in, things seemed to be going good, until my mother was sued. Until we had a busted windshield on our car. Until we couldn't afford new school clothes, or new shoes. Until we had to go to shelters. Things are OK now. We can afford food. We can afford an apartment. But I wish for death everyday. I cut my wrists. It makes me feel better for a little while until the pain creeps back in. I wonder what would happen if i walked in front of a moving bus. I think I'll try.

My Lifes Sucks And I Wish I Was Dead

well to start things off my life sucks because the guy i fell in love with broke my heart and is now in a relationship with someone else and they have a daughter together so they'll always be entitled to each other no matter what ......its taken meeh two years to get over him and im still in love with em...and now im so far behind on life...people tell me all the time that i should be thankful that i woke up this morning ...well i didnt ask to be here and whats the point in living if u cant be with the one ur meant to be with....my heart aches every night as i cry myself to sleep and at times i feel like God is punishing me for some reason (smh) all i ever wanted was to be happy....i search and search for it but have yet to find it....lately suicide has been on my mind but i dont wanna burn in hell but part of me is thinking it may be worth it in the end

well yup it sucks

my dad loves my sister. mom loves my brother. i have one cool relative he has cancer. i have an overly religious grandmother who talks shit. a crazy aunt. i never knew one grandfather. no family lives to where i moved. i grew up in one state for 12 years and was ripped away from friends and fun..memories. it hurts everyday. my luck is horrible. everyday is a struggle. i have no job im 16. no car. fighting with my girlfriend. losing friends. horrible grades in school. treated like nothing. everyday the stress mounts. i cant leave the house without my computer and room being raided and feel like that i cant even have that. my parents dont understand and ionly try to have fun to get away. i probally have the worst luck in the world. so bad i got a prison tattoo on my arm that says "luck" i thought it would work. trust me it dosent. my life isnt what i want..it killing me inside and im absolutley in depression. all i do is sleep. eat. or go out with friends and get my mind off my shitty exicstence. my mom yesterday listed off why im worthless right in front of my girlfriend. had to wait in a charity line for school shit. brother and sister were bought school shoes i was not. everyday i dread waking the fuck up. and shit can only get worse my whole life. if its not one thing its another. i fucking hate it and im so done with everyone and everything in my fucking life.

life sucks

ok. my parents moved to abroad when i was 7. now i'm 16 and i've been living to my ount's house. i've got great family and so on. i've never had problems that my parents are in abroad cause i know that they are doing this for me. but i'm fat. i'm not 100 kilos but i'm enough fat to be called fat. the problem is that i've lost weight and everyone was saying how pretty i was and so on. but then i've gained it once again and now i'he more than ever been. everyday i here them saying that i should get thin, that they will throw me on a diet, that they will control me. it sounds agrassive for me and when i said i dod't like the way they are talking to me they said they don't like walkking with me cause they are ashamed. i know they are doing and saying this for me, but i'm done by saying that they are right. cause they are not. i'me done by hearing their remarks. my classmate died two days ago with whom i;ve never been ok, because i thought she was too tight and i was not able to be her friend and whole class was making fun of her, i feel a little bit guilty for her. i heard that my cousin with whom i was grown up and who i love the most may die and very soon. and you know what i think it's a little bit hard to tell me that i should not eat one ice cream because i will get fat and that noone will like me ever. now i don't have any wish to live on.

shit

i'm sixteen i often think of how badly i wanna die in my house the shit has hit the fan mom is being buried under debt on house 72,000 cars 10,000 college 12,000
unemployment 22,000 i been trying to get a job but i bearly make a scratch on that shit i'm over weight don't have any REAL friends i'm really into this chick but she litterally spat in my face when i approached my dad got deported my only friend my puppy peanut got stolen and killed my brothers are more my enemies than anything stealing fom us and leaving only coming back to steal again and on top of that the fucking food stamps got canceled cuz my mom boss wrote down that she making an unbelieveable amount of money is 7.00 dollars an hour for three hours six times a week to much to qualify for foodstamps I HATE THE GOVERMENT MY LIFE AND ANYONE WHO PUTTS NOT SO BAD CUZ HONESTLY IT SUCKS OH AND WE GOT THREE WEEKS TO MOVE OUT TO NO WHERE

i need advice on a friendship

okay so

i made two really good friends this year in my high school and i got comfortable enough to call them my best friends, which is a big step for me. one of them (ill call them joe) told me all this stuff to me about 5 or 6 months after meeting him, stuff like i was annoying and craving attention and he made me change my image of myself b/c i became insecure. he also went for the girl i really really liked . weve gotten into plenty of fights but were "ok" now. joe usually talks to me every night but all he has to say is sarcadtic or rude.

the other one (ill call him bob) has also been my friend, but hes too into himself, and doesn tcare about anyone else just in general. we were absolutly fantastic until about the start of the summer when he stopped talking to me or limited the amount of conversation (we used to talk until 2am even on school nights every day).

i feel like im being so dramatic, but i want to end both of these friendships so badly. but if i do i know ill be sad/depressed and miserbale without them, and im tired of working it out over and over because they do it again over and over. can someone please give me advice please??

i hate shyt of life

well im a gurl.. bt ma fcking god ma life is soo fckiing shytty. like everyday is da same wake up go to scho0l den come home. its like dis from scho0l to ma house n its da same for every fcking dai. i hate dis like da only thing dat makes mii happy is ma babe. hes da only reason im still living cuz if i dnt have him ill b dead by now. i hate ma mom n brother n something ma dad bt mostly ma mom n brother. like im not like everybody eles dat ppl i mean kids go out n have fun wit dere friends n stuff bt i cant even do dat. i have a fone n i cant even use it to call or txt friends cuz ma bitch of a mom doesnt let mii like dam i pay for it i think i should use it for anything da fck i want. n ma brother omq he b checking ma stuff everydaii like i think if i leave ma room for a min i dnt have to scared to close it cuz wii all are family n wii dnt steal bt shyt i wuz wronge i hAVE to close ma room everytime i walk out of it like dats just not rite i wish i had a diffenert brother noo matter of fact i wish i had a different family.or i wish ma mom had never i mean never gave birth to mii i wish i wuz dead soo i wont have to be going threw all dis shyt

does it all really happen for a reason?

this is my first post i ran along this site because i typed "i hate my fucking life" in the google search bar and this is what popped up.since i was young my mother always loved me less from the other kids,i was more tan compared to my white siblings and also from her own insecurities of her nose,always made fun of mine...i never realy noticed mine and i mean some people made fun of me but i thought it went with me,but when your own mother makes you go to the doctors and say "my nose is broken can you pay for my nose job?" that really just traumatized me..than having my sister be beautiful and perfect hurt because to my mother i was always ugly and never cared about,i was mostly beaten realy..(sigh) eventualy i fell in love witha boy whom i loved for 6years..but he loved someone else and although i knew he was cheating i didnt have the confidence (thanks to my mom) to leave him so i accepted it and late at night layed in bed asking god why me..when i knew he was with her.eventualy he got engaged to her and depression fell over me.my sis got married to a realy sexy wealthy young guy and looked beautiful on her wedding day..jealousy killed me.iv worked at a pizza place for six years and saved up 20,000 dollars only to have my parents take the money..(sigh) it hurts because all i ever wanted was to be loved and when your own mother tells you she doesnt care it impacts your whole life..it makes you think if your own parents dont love you..who will? is there really a god? do things really happen for a reason?? i highly doubt it.im just waiting to die i cant even look in the mirror anymore...im suffering a depresion and i feel like soon i will make my own journey maybe run away some where far.

everyday is the same

I live the same day over and over. Work, gym and home. I was in a marriage for 14 years. No children. Now I am all alone. I fell in love with a married man. I have got two STD from him. Its my fault. I thougth we were going to fall in love but than his second baby was born. I was kick to the curb. I have meet alot to guys, but all they want is sex. I need more. I am going to be by myself for the rest of my life. I have no hope.

please help

Hey. I'm 16 and female, my story doesn't seem important enough to be on this page bit I also think everyone should be aloud to tell there story. Growing up I was very close to my pops, unfortunately he died. I personally blame myself, the night before his death he asked me to stay, I refused thinking of myself and staying with a friend. After his death I moved in with my grandmother to take care of her. I soon began to resent my family(especially my mom) because they had openly submitted me to the pain of looking after an emotionally and physically unstable woman. I also took my anger out on her, no violence just verbal abuse. I'm good in school and have many friends of both genders but I can never be true to them not even the girl I've been best friend with for 13 years. Anyway I got my first boyfriend at 14 and it was the first I thought I felt any love and jumped into bed with him after 7 months. Ofcourse he fucked off, my mum found out and it pushed me further away from her and as all this has been going on I have be self harming which my mum also found out about. I'm obease and because of my weight ugly. I was out with a large group of friends recently and a man approched us and he called all the other gorls beautiful and lovely then looked at me and said "eh? Well ?" It hurt a lot. Since my pops death I've been in a downwards spiral, I feel as of the world is laughing at me. I'm alone and nobody cares, nobody knows nd nobosy apart from the readers can ever know how much pain I am in. If I wasn't so scared I would have committed Suicide

Yeah life does suck!

I can't say I've had a horrible life so far or that terrible, unimaginable things have happened to me. Yes, I've had my share of difficulty, bad decisions and failures just like anyone else so that leads me to this question. Why do I consider life to suck so much? I really could care less about most things and honestly if the world were to end today I would be the first one in the streets jumping up and down for joy before it happened. What a disgustingly, pessimistic attitude I have! Or maybe it's not so much pessimism than it is tiredness. Yeah that's it, I'm exhausted. I'm 45. I've lived half my life so far and you know what? What have I accomplished but a bunch of accumulated stress, conditioned thinking and mindless wandering searching for something better, something to fill the void. Well Jesus does that for me but lately I'm wondering where the hell He is! So now I'm questioning my faith, again. What a viscious cycle, a ferris wheel of unhope. I'll get through the day with my usual routine of who gives a rats ass, don't talk to me, leave me alone shell of a person. After all I've survived this long on those standards. What's another 45 years!

I don't get life

I don't have to many memories of my parents. When I was 5 my mom dropped me, my baby brother and older sister off at my grandparents house and left (I guess she gave my grandparents custody prior). My grandparents told us she was a drug addict, but thats about it. My grandparents always respected us, but never really treated us as their own. No birthday parties, no driving us to soccer practice or friends houses. My sister always took good care of my brother and I. She would get home from high school two hours earlier then me so she always made me a sandwich. One day I came home and I was suprised that there was no sandwhich on the table. I marched up to her room and her door was locked. So I went to my room and watched TV. When my grandparents got home I heard them yelling, but I just kept on watching TV. Later, my grandparents come into my room and there was cop with them. He explained that my sister had a disease in her head that made her so sad she didn't want to live anymore.

no will to live... no will to die

lets see where should i begin...

Had no life in my school years. no clubs. always the loner weird kid. went through many psychiatrists and they diagnosed me with autism which i am ashamed about.
almost dropped out of high school and stopped talking to my friends so i had to go to more psychiatrists because of depression and lack of motivation. I lived in my head and kids in hs mostly avoided me or felt sorry. ive never dated or even flirted or kissed a guy.

Fast forward to college. I got good grades but weaseled my way out of social parts of college like speaking in front of class. haven't made a friend yet. I'm aloof and dont know how to stop being this way. still not sure if i do.
lets go back to last year. i started having realy bad body image probs and thought i was transsexual. Today i still dress and look like a guy, with the intention of looking like one, and im not a lesbian, (or even really sexual at all) so it kind of confuses people....

never done drugs (cept psych meds), drank alcohol, or partied.

heres the zinger (or not)!...
i had started talking on the phone last year to a guy, from a chatroom, who is notoriously insane. over winter break we talked for long hours (in my room) and he would mostly rant and rave to me about truly insane things and philosophies. back then i knew he was insane but liked him cuz hes kinda "fringe" like me...
i was spending.... basically wasting extremely regrettable amounts of t...

Women Suck.

My girlfriend ticks me off soo bad. I want out and it's that simple. Every time we talk, I have my "attempting to care - NOT CARING" moments. We like totally different things and I don't know what happened. When we met we could never stop talking. We spent hours on the phone, and I just don't know where it all went. Her parents are totally psychotic, and her friends are the most immature little brats on the face of the Earth. I just can't take it anymore. My big problem is that I still can't stand to see her cry or be upset. I just don't know what to do anymore. My life just really sucks.

I have nothing.

Hi my name is Ahmed and I just want everybody in here to know how much of a worthless and useless life I have. When I was eight or six years old I had no friends, my family hated me, I was wiped every and each night, I stunk, I was short, ugly, the laughing stock for both my family, their friends, and the school. When I was at Egypt I had nothing to lose because I owned nothing, I was poor and ugly and nobody liked me not even my family. My mom always gave money,gifts, and cloth to my brother and two sisters and made fun of me. I only had two pair of shirts and one pants and I was always embarrassed in school because kids made fun of my pants that I wore everyday. My mom didn't feed me or even wash my cloth and she always yelled when i drank water or even took showers complaining that I was wasting electricity. My family went out most of the nights to have dinner or visit their friends and I had to stay home and draw, she didn't let me turn on the t.v. because she though I was ignorant and stupid and I might break it. My brother and dad always made fun of the way I looked and called me names and they would pile me every night whipping me with belt or hitting me with shoe laughing at me. I had no friends at school and I had to stand alone during lunch outside without food because my mom didn't give me money, I was the only one standing outside and kids would pass by with their friend's pointing their fingers at me and laughing at me. In class kids would always laugh at ...

i donno wat to do . i jus wish i had a chance to redo all my mistakes n other things .everyday i wake up bullied by my dad n the other bullies all around me . i think of doin somethin but end up face down . regret over the times i had not taken courage . that regret kills man

my life is imprisoned

okay ill get straight to the point.

im only 17 and as u guys know at this age its typical for me to go out and date girls however i can only do it when i introduce them to the fake me ..in other words i have to lie to them as a matter of a fact i created a fake identity of myself so i can date them .you must be asking urselves why i do that?well i live in israel and jewish girls would never go out with muslims although i dont have the look of a muslim at all but still i have to lie to them in order to get them thats the only way and as for my family well they are nothing but a pair of evil bashing rednecks who hates my guts they already kicked me out of the house several times they both call me a demon because i have a long hair (it reaches my jaw) i live in a village that hates me too for the same reasons and they called me "gay"because i have a long hair and im trying to change myself plus ive got into countless fights with them in order to protect my honor and yes it invovled ploice and thanks to them i have a criminal record of holding a knife .
i hhate muslims i hate israel i wanna live in peace i wanna relax i wanna love i wanna be who i am i wanna express the way that i feel but instead all this hatred within me is locked deep down inside its so heavy i cant find anynody to talk to .if anybody whos not from israel and he actually lives here in israel please inform me because i would really like to meet you

everything is wrong

everything is wrong in my life, first im not the handsomess guy in the world, im 18 going on 19 and im 6 foot 1 and i only way 135 lbs i try gaining weight but i cant. I have a lot of good friends but recently i had back surgery cause i had a curved spine they put 24 screws in my back and 2 metal rods. My neck is still slouched forward so i look almost like a turtle. My teeth are small so i cant even smile cause i feel people are looking at my small teeth. i grind my teeth at night to so i get paranoid in the morning looking at them. I have a friend that is a girl she is very pretty and i have more than friend feelings toward her but i know i have no chance in the world with her cause she likes black guys haha my luck. So now that my surgery is done i thought i would be ok but i was wrong again, mt chest is abnormal, it slopes in on the right side and also i have a bump to the right of my sternum, it hurts sometimes pretty bad. i would tell my parents but they are split up, my mom works hard all day and my dad is dating my moms daughter, which is my half sister. My dad has a phd and he thinks im stupid just because i fucked up in high school and had to go to a continuation school, i did graduate but he still thinks im dumb. Since im recovering from my surgery ive had plenty of time to pick my life apart into whats wrong and whats good. I cant go out cause im still recovering i can barley sit for 30 min and stand for even less than that without hurting. My frien...