LIFE SUCKS : Death

Drugs killed him

I had freind named Chris and he also one of my clas mates. We all had graduated high school together. I had seen everyone for about five years when i got the ym ivitation to my 5 year class reunion and in the letter it said that Chris was dead. I was notified about that. I talked to Share and she the chris killed the night before Mother's Day. He was doing drugs and his girlfreind Luara wanted him to stop or she going to leave him. He wouldn't and she was there when he pulled out gun and said I should kill myself if I can't have you and he pulled the trigger and it went off and killed him while he was high on drugs. Poor Luara had witness that. She remember until her dying day. No one should ever witness someone kill themself. The memories would too much for some folks.

it really sucks

I never had friends had a dad that really wanted a boy drank away my adult life. My husband shot himself infront of me while I was pregnat with my baby. I have no skills no money am old and worn out and can't get hired if my life depended on it. About ready to be homeless in a very cold climate. My dad just died and now I found out my daughter has depression and health problems and no health insurance.
Please don't worry about the gf bf or if you are popular. You have time to change it if you don't waste your time like I did. Now I can't find a way to move on no matter what I try. I went back to school and still can't get hired.
There is no where to turn but the only thing I know for sure is Im not taking the cowards way out. It won't do me any good and really really screws up other people like I wouldn't want my worst enemy hurt.
You have time mine pretty much ran out and I have to live with the mistakes I made. No way to make up for them now. Im just kinda waiting for it to be over and hope I don't end up in a cardboard box or in a welfare nursing home where you don't even get to eat when or what you want. And get bathed by someone I don't know when I don't feel like it.
Pills didn't help prayers didn't help talking didn't help. Im just waiting. DON'T waste your time make your life better in anyway while you Find a way NOW while you can. Even if you try to make a difference to someone else and help them. Best way to help yourself is too help someone else. I don't even have resourse to do that.

Ahhhh

My life is shit i am so depressed. I got made redundant 4 yrs ago but managed to find another job straight away.
2 and half yrs ago my wonderul dad got testicle cancer
age 71 (still young) he just thought it would be 12 mths out of his life having treatment, after scans it was found he had a secondry cancer Non Hodgkin Lymphoma he was still positive after doctors told him he had 70% sucess of recovery. Dad was on his last chemo when he had a slight stroke. He laughed it off. His Dr sent him for a brain scan and found his cancer had spread to his brain which meant he was terminally ill, they could not say how long he had left, 5 weeks later and dad passed away peacefully in a hospice.
After slowly coming to terms with losing my dad, i have just been made redundant again. I have no fight left and want to be with my dad am i wrong for wanting this. Please help

open book or open casket ?

hmmmmmmmmmmmm...... Stumbled upon this site randomly...Ill start with me being recently turned 27 year old male. i live in a middle/lower class neighbourhood in a province of Canada. I was born a bastard child to a father who would rather be high and in jail for growing dope then see me. That's easy to get over i suppose... my mother was ALWAYS working either at 7-11 or waiting tables. i had one sister who ran away when i was eight ( she was sixteen ) because she didn't want to stay home and babysit me ( my moms mess ). she left, she ended up pregnant and then violently murdered by a crack head who wanted to rob her and her Bf, that left my nephew alone in a blood soaked apartment until he wandered down the hooker filled street to a store at which point the police were called and brought to the murder scene.... my father came into my life at this point just to die of liver cancer... i never got to know him.... i tried getting to know his family, they can't be bothered to talk to me, or invite me to dinners... I guess im just suppose to know my place in life and suck the fat out of the steel and deal with it! i got into drugs for a few years, my only friends at the time only did E and drank.... people didn't know how to talk to me....no one tried.... so i lived on a shit street filled with crack and hookers and olde english bottles with my starving mom and motherless nephew who we adopted... i did try hard to get my life going, i finished high school and got my diploma and went to culinary school. too bad the school i picked had a shitty reputation and anyone near my city doesnt want graduates from that school.! so now i have student debt, no job, an angry mother who is bitter with the world and depressed nephew with no family, i even added family to my facebook that they accepted then rejected almost instantly.... oh lord how i tried....

.....

well here's to say my life sucks too :D i'm 15years old and my mum died from cancer a couple of months ago ....my dad has never done anything for me or my sister (which i hate by the way )he lives in england from a long time my parents divorced about 12 years ago right now i do not have any parents at all ;[ i have to live with my crazy grandmother and grandad from the side of my mother ( and yeaah they really are crazyy they shout at me all the time with no reason they stay at home all the time i cannot get rid of them and yesss my life sucks too guess i can join the club but i can tell that i am very strong and happy to say i have really good friends i can rely on , they make me feel happy at least when i am outside with them (when i go out with friends i forget about eerything but coming home to my crazy grandmother , grandfather and sister life sucks) i am a very optimistic and sunny person and i know that 3 years later i will be happy there is a bright future infront of me i am very talented and clever i study in a good school and i know that 3 years later I WILL BE HAPPY i really really miss my mum she was like the greatest mum ever wish i could tell her that now ...my dad doesn't give me any money nor does he give to my sister but i told you and i'm telling you again that i am strong and i have fantastic friends and i knoow there is a bright future for me 3 more years and it's over life sucks sometimes but you have to find a way to fix things you can make your life better (all of you ) just have a little more faith in yourselves and someday you will be happy and you will laugh at these things you have written even now i do not complain most of my friends know less about how my life sucks than you because i do not want to complain to them which is better

losing your mom sucks but it could be worse

So, I'm 15, a guy, home schooled all my life (i'm desperately behind, four years, i had a meltdown after my mom got diagnosed when i was 11, and didnt come back out of it til 13, but i didnt start trying to catch up til last summer), my mom has cancer, my dad works himself to death, my little brother whose 13 is estranged, we're trying to get rid of our house, my older siblings live across the country, so i never get to see them, most of the people i ever cared about are dead or removed from my life. i've recently accepted the fact that after doing everything we can for her, my mom's going to die, and i've always been extremely close to her. i dont think i've felt a real, positive emotion for the past month now. all i feel is apathy and hurt. its gotten so bad i feel physical pain from the hurt. im depressed as well. but i wouldnt try to kill myself. i already tried before, but the pistol jammed. the only good thing is i have a girlfriend who's crazy about me, and i'll admit i'm not all that stupid in spite of my grade. i'm not very attractive, i got most of my dad's rough features, bad acne, brown hair thats always plain. i'm socially awkward, in fact, i had to have special ed to learn how to speak properly, and at that it's still a challenge to complete a sentence. i'd give my life away if it'd mean my mom could get better. i could care less about anything material. i just want things back the way they were before she got sick.
oh, and i don't have very many frie...

so life sucks

I just lost my husband of 26 years to the most horrible version of brain cancer there is. It quite literally pulled his brain a[art. I have 2 teenage daughters that are heart broken and worried about their future. I also need some corrective heart surgery and some other surgery as well. I have had to put this off for the last 5 years as we struggles through my husband's cancer. Those girls that are so worried about their future are busy playing on the computer leaving everything to me to do. They beg and plead with me to take care of myself and not to leave them, but god forbid they help me in any way.

I grew up with a single mom ant a time when mom's weren't single. My real dad, great man that he was, forgot to mention that he had 4 or 5 wives, non of whom he had gotten around to divorcing. Yeah, that was fun living in a small tow. I was BAD BLOOD! kids were told not to play with me.

Anyhow, got over that and moved on. Things were pretty good for a whole. My mom met a new guy in her life, it all seemed good until his brother, who was a year older than me, decided that I was his own private sex toy. Years later I finally, after much councelling, told my mom and she replied, "kinda figure it was something like that but you know that I needed to keep the marriage together." Thanks mom! Loved the time that my step father cracked her head open with a garden how just because I wouldn't eat the squash he grew. Stood between them with the butcher knife and offered to eviserate him if he came close to my mom. I called the family doctor, he came to the house, stitched up my mom, had a beer with the stepdad. That was the end of what they did about it. I told the school councellor, my mom was called in, even with stitches in her head she told them I was lying and they believed her. I left after that, no surprise.

Life has a funny way of kicking you I just give up!

what the fuck is really going on?

so a year ago my best friend of twenty years died in Jan and i never got a chance to say goodbye he never told me he was dying. then my son almost dies in September he contracted type 1 diabetes he was in pediatric ICU and then to top it all off my girlfriend of 6 years just dumps me out of the blue. i was on my way to Arizona to be with her and my son. when she starts not answering and blaming everything on me i think she is a fucking lying ass betraying big ass whore and you know what Jessica if you read this your fucking fat i was slumming it, i only stayed with you because of my son. i cant wait to find a nice pretty girl with a small waist that i wrap my arms around and you fuck you cant wait for that karma you believe in to come back around and bite ya in the ass.

So tired.

Life was all well and good for me up until the 3rd grade when my 20 year old half brother died in a car wreck. I loved him just as a brother and had grown up idolizing him. After loosing a child my mother became very depressed and began drinking again after 12 years of sobriety. Even as a child I could see my mother and father drifting apart. Only one year later my father admitted he had been cheating on my mom and that he wanted a divorce. Not only that, a lifetime of smoking had caught up with my mom and she had been put on oxygen. My mother and I moved out and went to live with my psychotic grandmother who lived 2 hrs away, anytime this women didn't get her way she would badmouth the hell out of us and it always ended up in her blaming my mom for her own sons death. By the time we moved out my mom's mind was worn, at nerves end I guess you could say. We got our own place and things seemed to be going pretty smooth. In 8th grade shit just went straight to hell, my 26 year old sister with three kids died in a car wreck, so now my mom, not only lost one kid but two by the same fate. My sister was a dumbass and put in her will that those kids would go to her friend. My mom got to see those kids three times before her friend decided to stop bringing them to visit due to my other brothers crazy pill head gf calling up the friend that the kids went to and telling her my mom was on drugs. My mother began doing numerous anti depressants and stopped paying attention to me. Then...

It keeps getting worse

Thing have always suck being in and out of foster homes all my childhood, that did not suck at the time but when I got older and discovered that really it was just lack of effort and or caring{by my parents} enough to do any thing about it is strange to me after becoming a parent?Then after stupid and fake marriage and long painful divorce,lost my child in accident 1 year ago and ex is still causing me as much trouble as possible,family members came out of the wood work to comfort me... ha...ha..ha more like to gossip about one another so I have stop all contact with all of them and I that is one good thing,they were all classless and tacky some I have not seen in 30 years anyway.Now in debt so much will never get out from ex running up many credit card and lawyer fees.I do have a job however,Some times I dont know why,one step away from being homeless and always to broke to do anything while co-worker are living it up and thinking I just cant handle money I dont explain my ordeal to any of them It would just give the gossip vine more to talk about,and sometimes it hard to beleive how grown up adults will act and I used to like to cut up and have fun as much as anyone but they come to me and tell me about stupid stuff like when they get bent because somebody got a new car or something, they are all very petty and I just try not to tell them what I really think of them to keep my little check coming

my life is falling apart

my life is falling apart.how could others be so happy while i am so sad.my great grandpa died when i was 7.his funeral was on my 8th birhday,my aunty died recently,my crazy grandpa is missing!i only have one grandpa and i love him.my uncle wants to stop living becuase he missis aunty.my life is the crudiest.i want to die.i dont kill myself becuase i think of how much i love my daddy and my friends.i always feel like crying.i am right now.i just want a happy life!

I've lost all hope, I wish i was dead.

About 2 years ago, I had a normal (average) life. I had a good job, lots of friends, big happy family, etc. And althought I was stressed out a lot, I was happy expecting my first child. The pregnancy was going normal (or so the doctors thought), but the week i reached six months my baby died inside the womb. The moment my life was over, all the dreams and plans i had for me and my baby boy died too. Giving birth to a baby that i could never hear crying, or smiling is the most painful experience and i don't wish that on the worse person. I'm someone who always beleive in God, and always been there for anyone who needed my help and i give anything to make others happy. How could this happen to me? As if losing my son wasn't enough, his father tried to commit suicide, i never saw him after that day in the hospital. He called once to apologize for not being 'stonng' enough. I had to plan our baby's funeral alone, I've been dealing with all the emotions of grief imaginable. Now 18 months later it isn't any better. Each day i feel worse than the day before, sometimes i'm hopeful but that feeling doesn't last long. Most days i think about ending my life, but i know i won't because it would cause my mother too much pain. Before this i was very social, i was the one everyone called for help, advice, or just about anything, but i've been so distant from eveyone including close friends and especially my family. I no longer attend any gathering, to make me feel worse, it seems eveyd...