| | Posted by drew at April 22, 2011 |
2 months ago I moved into new house with a wonderful girl. Next day I got fired for stupid reasons from pizza place I was working at. 1 week later I get pulled over and my license is suspended evidently from a previously unpaid speeding ticket, so no license and had to sell car to pay fine. Move forward another week the girl breaks up with me shortly after we got a place together. Move up 2 more weeks I get court papers for a incident that happened many yrs ago so I may go to jail for a few years. So from complete bliss with new house (my first own place) with a girl I loved entirely and a cute puppy to carless licenseless jobless moving back in with parents and could go to jail because no one I know has money for good attorney. And my puppy is a adorable pain in the butt. Go from peaceful and quiet own place to hectic parents with many pets and little kids running around. Truly a messed up life right now |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 22, 2011 |
I'm 13, I'm confused about my life. More Importantly I'm confused about religion and other things like secret societies, and I have questions and no one can give a good answer. Let's Start with some of the basic fuck ups when religion comes around. Christian, I'm pretty sure there is something waiting for us after we die. who knows? no one right, thats why part of the world is fucked up, a lot of people say they've seen god, or they died but came back to life.. Bullshit. Second, and most fucked up I think is Satanism Why do you believe in that what is the point what the fuck did Satan do for anyone? then there is atheism, which all the smart scientist would believe in fact over fiction. and there are many other religions that don't make sense. now my other topic is Secret Societies like the Illuminati?
who are they what do they do, are there any other Societies? but so far I see this earth heading straight to hell. there is to much fucked up shit in our "World" thanks and please if you have any answers or suggestions then comment and let me know. |
| | Posted by ricky at April 22, 2011 |
my parents made me turn fat and always made sure i was fed a lot of food especially rice and curry so that they could send me to bangladesh. Also, the made my life hell and made me have a miserable and chubby face and everyone calls me fat and i'm sooo sad and i wanna commit suicide even now i'm crying it hurts sooooo much coz my life is fucked up. peace out suckers |
| | Posted by tina at April 21, 2011 |
I am 25 years old and still I don't know what's the point of living. I suffer from depression since I was a child. The reason is that there are many problems within my family and I could understand them from an early age. I always wanted to die or run away from my home. Even though I had though many times to commit suicide I gave up in the end because I was afraid what will happen if I survive... so I had to find a way to leave home. I never was a good student but I tried my best to enter a good university and few months before finishing my studies I had a job. But for my father I was a useless human being. I started thinking again about leaving home and one way to do this was to continue my studies abroad, so I tried my best to save as much money as possible because I didn't want to depend on my parents any more. Finally after two years I got accepted in a master program in another country and I was really happy for that (after that I was still useless). For the first time I had dreams for my new life. I would be able to live in a beautiful country and wanted to get a job there so as to never go back. Maybe the problem is that I am taking things too seriously. Since I came here I saw that everyone just wanted to go to parties, have sex etc. I like to have good time too but I think that I am too old for doing all the things that others do. So I ended up again depressed mainly because I there is no one to talk to. I never had many friends because of my shyness. All the fri... |
| | Posted by Trip at April 21, 2011 |
I have been completely consumed by rage. Everyday it's the same fucking routine that consists of waking up at ungodly hours (usually between 0300 to 0500) to first wait for roughly an hour or so until someone "in charge" shows up and then run for excessive periods of time, and sometimes with random shit, like 80 lbs packs for example. People all around go down, get hurt, and no one "in charge" seems to give a fuck. Anyone seriously injured is looked at as weak, or just hamming it up. It doesn't matter if they're in a cast, or have received serious mortal wounds, they are looked at as "soft" and often suffer constant ridicule and undesirable duties or menial tasks because of it like sitting for hours on end sorting through trash to find recyclables or cleaning out rest room facilities. After said running is completed, we are given roughly 30 minutes to go clean and eat before having to show up to work, where we will stand in a formation for another hour or so before someone "in charge" shows up. Mind you, we lived in cramped rooms roughly 3 or 4 to a room, and are expected to maintain our living quarters is as if it were a museum. So that's 30 minutes for 3 men to shower, ensure the room is in good order, and attempt to get to the mess hall to eat, presuming the line permits it, as everyone eats at said mess hall because we have had money taken out of our pay to eat there. Needless to say people seldom have time to eat there because it's a race between you and your roommates and about 90 other people or so from you platoon who are trying to meet the same deadlines racing you. You know what, fuck this, I could go on bitching but at the rate I'm at now it would take a solid hour or so to finish griping about all the injustices that have fallen upon myself and my fellow Marines. An hour which I don't have because I have to go to seep at a half way decent hour so I can begin the same vicious cycle. In summation though, fuck the military. |
| | Posted by Scarlet at April 21, 2011 |
I have always tried to make my father proud of me, yet everything back fires. When I was five I told him I wanted to be a tattoo artist, just like him, he told me he would rather I don't. Fifteen years later we were expecting another sibling he hoped to be a boy so he could call him Aurther(Art) so he could teach him how to tattoo. He has cheated on my mom and I will never forgive him for that because whenever something bothers him he starts helling at her about something she had no control. I was a A student for all my schooling and the only time he said he was proud was because someone of his family name graduated high school. One day in high school he got to the house while I was getting ready for school, he said let me drive you to school. He did this to tell me that I needed to pick him or mom because because he was not paying for a place he has no say, I found out later that mom's crime was telling him to stop helling at her for what others had done. I ended up crying for 4 hrs in the bathroom. I only asked for a ride from school once, and he acted like I asked him to chop his dick off but he was more then fine picking up my friend for a school project. That same day, I walked a mile to work in rain. Worst of all is we were moving and i didn't want to leave my friends without telling them. One got so emotional that she called dad and begged to stop the move. He can home said I wasn't his daughter and called me a back stabbing bitch. Sorry someone liked me being me. |
| | Posted by herewego at April 21, 2011 |
So yeah...my life totally sucks and no one would ever know it. My husband touts this veneer of us as a power couple but really I just want to gouge his eyes out. He is a cheater, and I'm not a leaver. We have a three year old daughter. She completely adores him. If I left him I would have to endure all the backlash from her end and all the venom he would spew and he would probably cut her off because a divorce and a broken home doesnt fit in his perfect little story. Here's the kicker...HE'S CRAZY! Certifiable! He strings together unintelligable sentences with words like "angelic" as in I would see "ANGELIC" results. My favorite is when he talks about himself and uses the terms "Titan" and "God amongst Men." He meets hookers on craigslist and manages to somehow make it my fault. How did I meet this douchecake? Why did these crazy symptoms not emerge until WAY after we were married and pregnant. It's not like I havent known him for half of my life. Not like we werent friends before we started dating. I guess with some people you just never know. |
| | Posted by fragileweakwoman at April 21, 2011 |
So can men smell a needy desperate woman a mile away? That must be why at age 30 I am going to court in 4 days for assault againest me by my ex. This is someone who promised me he would never do what was done to me by my last two relationships.
And it's really pathetic that the only human interaction I have is few one or two male aquaintences who never call me but I call them and I know they aren't impressed with me. But what can you do?
I think about suicide alot.
I tried to join a meetup group but no friends from that either. Just some man who wanted to meetup and "chat". Why am I such an object, and nothing to them?
I can't stand this being alone anymore. I hide. And I run. Is this what life is about? Everytime I try to take a risk socially I get hurt soo badly. Everytime.
The world is so cruel and thoughtless and self involved. And I just want to fix and love everyone. But here I am alone desperate needy and fragile. I can't change. But I am so sick of everyone, mom, male aquaintences, calling me fragile. I guess I am.
I give up. I give in to the sadness. No more trying to smile and stay positive. I give up.
And in my other entry I talked about my schizo affective bipolar mom and what she did to my sister.
Does she care or worried or upset about what is happening with this court date? Did she get upset the past few years when I told her that my boyfriend was aggressive with me? Did she love me? Why in the hec am I worth anything? My mom doesn't think I am so I must not be. She is a cold unfeeling human being.
My male aquaintence friend/notfriend enemy?? told me I am just addicted to self pity. I think I must be. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 20, 2011 |
When I was younger I wasn't allowed to have friends,boyfriends or date.I was brought up by parents who were way over protective.I guess what they thought was they would protect me from the outside world and all it's dangers.Everywhere I went I was accompanied by my mother.Well now I'm a 44 year old depressed and bitter woman.I have a rage about the pass that I can't undo.Life for me is nothing but pain and deep sadness. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 20, 2011 |
well i am just another 18 year old wasted youth anthoer unemployed boy and anther rebel.
i dont get it.. I have a car,girls say i am cute with blonde hair.
I am not over wieght,infact im in shape.
I am a skateboarder,musican,and artist. plus many more cool hobbys.
i do as much drugs as hunter.s.thompson.
I feel drugs are a lifestyle which i enjoy.
I am not amazingly intelligent but i do tend to have deep philosophical discussions.(at least on acid)
I enjoy people who share the same interests as me or do things interesting with there time. I like indie girls and and alterntive people aswell.
I dropped out of high-school at 16 and got my ged after being kicked out of many schools. I am currently trying to raise money for further training in electronic music,and i am not a virgin.SO you would think my life is awsome..BUT the thing is
I live in a horrible town with nothing to do. all the kids here are trash or wanna be thugs. There are no kids that do productive and interesting things when they get high,and there are no girls i find interesting as-well.EVERYONE HERE IS A HUMANIOD and its horrible. I am lonely and i want to find my group..which i no is out there somewhere..I get jumped for spiting the truth when walking around drunk and stupid.I have to watch my back even when i dont do anything. MY whole life iv been picked on even though i am a pretty cool person. I think its because im not part of high-school drama and the whole mainstre... |
| | Posted by danielle at April 20, 2011 |
i hate when i'm home i get depress upset and fustrated at the sight of it.my mother,brother really drives me insane.when i'm at school or on the way home from school i'm always smiling but has i come home the smile fades in thin air.i used smile at church but they ruin that for me.oh these are the only places i'm allowed to go:school,church.champs kept recently i wanted to go SO badly but unfortunately i couldnt.I'm always crying when i get here even though i try not to.tonite i had my brother's phone and he took it away because when he ORDERED me to wash the plates i said no and the waste thing about it is i was going to wash them but i was eating at the moment since i was really hungary.well thank god i don't want to kill myself and if i do i have the internet to tell me painlessly. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 19, 2011 |
If everyone knew who i really was...they would abandon me on the spot. If everyone knew the real me I’d probably be a dead man or...just a really hated one. first off I’m tired of all this hocus pokus bullshit about people/parents tellin ya to be yourself, standing out in the crowd, and people claiming there so “weird” and different on facebook. If people knew the meaning of that word people would not dare put up something that would bring them in the light that way because they would be jeopardizing themselves from the status quo and probably get a few deleted friends in the process of posting or acting or thinking in such a weird manner…but this isn’t about others this is about myself…the real me…I’ve kept it so far in the back of my mind from others it’s a little strange just writing it on paper…(don’t fucking ask it just sounds good ta me) if everyone knew how strongly I was attracted to little girls they would hate me big time…there’s no one way to put this I just like little girls easy as that. You know it really sucks when u find something so attractive and so beautiful and you can’t even have it as your own or express your feelings the way you want to. I remember when I was 6 and I first witnessed my mom and dad having sex…I did not see one thing wrong with it…ever since I was little I’ve known about sex and have wanted to experience it for myself…but I never have. Sucks when the only person you fucked was your 4 year old brother in the bath tub when u were 6 yea... |
| | Posted by aneeline at April 19, 2011 |
Read the title. That pretty much sums up what everyone else thinks of me. Turned 16 this year, live in a large house with lots of stuff, have extremely nice parents, a huge outdoor space and straight As in everything for my entire life, while working at about 5% of max capacity. I never have zits and don't have to use make-up because I'm naturally beautiful, and I am friends with almost every single person I know. I got into an esteemed private school for next year, my parents are paying for everything; the school, the apartment, the food, the furniture, and all other living expenses. We go abroad on vacation at least once a year.
This sounds really cool, right? I think so too. Actually, when I read what I've just written, I feel bad for complaining about my life. But the fact is, I am so fed up. This last year I've been getting more and more depressed, and there is nothing that I like doin anymore. I'm actually good at drawing and telling stories, and I used to read a lot, but now I am just too tired to do anything. I don't know what my life is missing, and that really pisses me off, because I feel that there's something missing. Nobody else notices, though. I think I spend more time crying that laughing nowadays, but when I'm around other people I unconsciously wear a mask that's so perfect it doesn't even have a single crack.
My life sucks. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 19, 2011 |
Well its been a long a dredfull time, I started with an open mind handing out my resume to any businesses that I could find, that had providen to be an utter waste of both paper and time. It wasn't all that long after collage that I went to an adult education centre to under go training, for Information technology, for now I have a certificate 3, where I should hold a certificate 4 but thanks to the teacher for not marking me off officaly I never revived a complate certificate 4.
I spend the next few years searching, with the stupid hope someone would employe me, sadly I was deeply mistaken to believe this. After a number of interviews that I didn't recive any kind of reply from or some kind of mail marge responce. I wanted to know what was going on, I wasn't getting any help from the government-funded employment services, I spend some weeks with a psychologist doing test to see what is wrong with me, in the end I was told that I have high function autism, I soon learned my body language while in an interview, shows I am not interesated in a job, when I am.
With no career in site, I went back to adult education, I made an attmept to redo my certificates, while the teachers hadn't changed, what went into the certificates, had undergone a huge change. Now when I say nodboy listened to me, I really mean that, for a school to have a tearcher teaching the use of Office 2007 with a brand new book, that we all recived on the first day of class, we should have... |
| | Posted by NaS at April 18, 2011 |
Well, I'm a 33 year old male from Indiana. The more I try, the worse things get, so I've kinda given up on having a normal or "successful" adult like. EVERYTIME I take 2 steps forward, I get smacked 10 steps backward. I'm a good hearted person, will help anyone whenever they need help, but these major things keep happening to me to keep me from looking like this lazy bum who has no concept of responsibility! So, here goes: I've been on unemployment for over a year now. I just got convicted of driving while suspended for a 3rd time, because I have over $1,000 worth of fines to pay. I'm now overweight because I've developed a herniated disc in my L5/C1, with Degenerative Disc Disease and the beginning stages of arthritis in my lower back. It hurts, everyday, doing everything. I used to be so active, but now I can't even walk over 1/2 a mile. I don't even want to look for a job because there's no public transportation in my city, and I can't even get there. I have a girlfriend of 6 years and we live together. I've got no clue why she's still with me. We make enough from her job and my unemployment checks to barley keep afloat, but my bills are piling up at a rate so fast that I can't keep up. I have absolutely no idea what step to take first to get my life back to just "normal"! I've contemplated suicide so many times in the last 3 years, but just don't think I could actually go through with it. I don't even know, don't know what to do.... |
| | Posted by idiot at April 18, 2011 |
i fucking hate my poor, idiotic life. i fucking hate it. i wasted all my fucking money on college because my parents lost their jobs as if money wasnt a problem already. no one wants to hire me & my family is fucking psycho. i hate my life. i want a dad in my life because it could possibly not make me feel so fucking empty. i want to have a relationship with my family like every other normal person does. this is bullshit. i hate you dad, i cant believe you have the nerve to stay with your current family & not even tell them that you had my sister and i. you coward piece of shit. i do nothing all fucking day. NOTHING. i no longer have the least bit of a life and it fucking sucks. i am a failure. never in my life have i vented this way, but i think after 18 years, this could possibly let me free.
i am so sorry god, im sorry that i have to be this way. i need help and no one beleive me. every one thinks im being dramatic, but really im just fucked up. and the people who fucked me up have no idea. \
Lord i ask you to PLEASE help me. you've done amazing things to me and ive seen you do amazing things to others. please help me. i really want to be happy. i want to love my life and my family. i want to be loved for once in my life. i want to be known as a good person and know i am one. not a piece of shit. Lord i apologize that i cant contain myself. please do me well. i dont want to be thinking about death anymore |
| | Posted by nicki:( at April 18, 2011 |
i gave this boy my all.. and all of a sudden he's telling me he doesn't care? he's calling me names? .......... i don't know what to do.. tired of fighting.. tired of fucking everything.. wish i had time to put everything on here.. but that's WAY to much.... |
| | Posted by Laurrie at April 18, 2011 |
I am so impulsive. If I am super happy one moment, and then suddenly some asshole makes some rude comment to me then I will be down all of a sudden, and I will resort to suicidal behaviors. I down painkillers with nyquil, or I stock up on antidepressants and take them all at once. So far I haven't died, but I'm messing my insides up. I just get REALLY suicidal REALLY suddenly. Usually I am deeply depressed, but I am too lazy or disinterested to off myself right then and there. It attacks me, and I am usually never prepared. I'll start walking around, asking people for money so I can go to six different stores (Wallgreens, CVS, Stop & Shop, Rite Aid, and others) and get a bottle of nyquil from each of them, so they don't get suspicious. Then I drink all of them. I never die, of course. I just either 1) fall asleep really quick, so I don't think suicide anymore or 2) go on a trip. You know what I mean. I told my therapist "I am suicidal" and she said "No you're not. You can stop thinking that, but only if you want it badly blah blah blah" crap talk. So I never got help. One time i even ended up in a hospital because i took too many pills, but after i got out of the hospital, people kind of forgot about that incident. no one really cares, even though i tell them desperately. they do not want to be stressed out by my issues. I don't blame them, though. I'm dangerous to myself. But it's not fair to keep me locked up in a mental hospital until I randomly go nuts. and i am no good at telling people when i am feeling suicidal. i withdraw immediately and do it. I am thinking that there's really no hope for me. I wish I could rid my mind of suicide. my mind is going to kill me one of these days. |
| | Posted by Gale at April 18, 2011 |
I am really fat and really ugly. i am weird, and everyone makes fun of me. i hate being judged solely on my appearance. it has made me into a miserable person. i hate other fat people too because i do not understand how they can even live with themselves. i think all fat people should die. there is no place in the world for fat people. even the ones with "great personalities" because obviously their personality has only gained them pounds. and nothing else. fat people can't do anything except just sit around and be fat and ugly. i hate being fat and ugly. i am just a miserable fugly piece of shit. and so is every other fat person in the whole fucking world. i just want more food. i don't need it. i need to diet. i need to stop eating chocolate and fat and sugar. i need to do this and that and this and that BUT I AM NOT DOING IT! that is why my life sucks. because i need help, but professional help costs money. i do not have money. i spent it all at dunkin donuts. i wear a size 12. i need to be a size 6. i'm not even striving for size zero. that's stupid. i just want to be healthy. not skinny and gross because skinny is gross just like fat is gross. and i hate HATE guys who only like skinny girls or fat girls. because it's like "Oh, i only date girls that fit my fetish standards" it's all about sex. well i think sex has taken over the universe. it has taken over everyone's minds. everything is all about sex and skinny girls with big boobs and fuck this fucking life because it fucking sucks. can't wait to read comments about "oh go shove a twinkie up your ass and shut up and get an exercise elipticle like it's the easiest fucking thing in the world" fuck off fat ass cunt. i dont need suggestions. i just need to take my brain out of my head and kill it |
| | Posted by B at April 18, 2011 |
He wants a divorce. I was married to my first husband & the father of my 2 now-almost-grown kids for 22 years. My 2nd husband of 4 years wants me out.
It's complicated & it's going to be a a real knock-down drag-out war of a divorce. He & I had started a business together a year ago, I quit my job of 25 years to help him. But his money funded it. I have been working to build the business & putting in 10 hour days, 7 days a week with back problems show for it.
I think I'm screwed. The business is in his name, he funded it & I have never received an official paycheck. I have no other source of income, our accounts are separate & I have been begging him for money squeezing by to pay my bills.
I've given my heart to this business. He is all consumed by it, no time for me & says I should be grateful I have a roof over my head. Now he says I won't have that, he has turned cold & is now focused on making sure I am penniless. All this because I am very depressed that he & I have no joy in our marriage anymore. No time together & he doesn't care about intimacy. I am pretty cute for an old lady. I do not understand it.
I will have to get out of the house with the 2 kids & I have nothing, including a job. I am 52 scared to death. |
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