| | Posted by Zach at April 18, 2011 |
I was born addicted to crack. Was sexually molested and constantly told how I was worthless. I wasted my parents money and was quite often beat. I have always been socially awkward and it has / will never change. I moved around a lot and every single school I went too I was constantly harassed by the "cool" kids / jocks. I ate dirt daily was swirlied etc all the good stuff. Ya laugh it up and fuck you too. I have never fit in with anyone not even the "weird" kids because I couldn't hold a conversation without people just staring at me blankly at the first thing i said. I found drugs andd often did them alone. I couldn't talk to anyone all I could do was stare at the ground silently. Just hoping, hoping one day I might fit in somewhere. There was always crazy thoughts racing through my head. 90% of the time about ways to kill myself. My mom was constantly beaten and would take it out on me physically. One day my step dad decided to take it out on me instead leaving me a bloody mess. Oh and I forgot to mention I never had the chance to meat my crack addicted father. Not that it matters. So I lived on the streets for a while, just alone, cold nights were the worste. I am 18 now and on depression medication which is bullshit because it does not work. I often burst into tears for no apparent reason and have manic freak outs. Everything is pointless. This whole message of useless rambling is idiotic but who fucking cares. Atleast maybe some people will understand. I know there ... |
| | Posted by hope at April 18, 2011 |
Everyone's life sucks.
Money does buy happiness, but the rich still suffer.
To live is to suffer.
You don't deserve to suffer.
Get angry and use that anger positively to take action.
Don't be destructive.
Realise it is unfair and try to better the situation. Even if you can't fight it. If you lose at least you know it is unfair. You deserve happiness. Fight for it.
Love yourself. You have to to survive.
We will all die. It is the finish line to suffering.
Love yourself. You are doing the best with what you got.
Get some confidence the universe will work with not against you.
Get angry at all the things that are unfair, try to change what you can. Be polite, be confident, be loving of yourself.
Even if you fail you will succeed because in the end we all die. Living is suffering. If you are living you are strong. When you die you are complete. Hang in there. No one is without suffering. You are not alone. You are strong. Love yourself, get angry at the injustice, take action. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 18, 2011 |
Life has sucked since day one. I grew up in an abusive home. Father was alcoholic and beat my mother right in front of me and hurt me in more ways than one. He left when I was 8 and last time I saw him I was 12. Growing up was hard. After father left my mother turned to hitting me. Couldn't do anything right. I thought about my father a lot the last few years. Getting in contact with him but I kept chickening out. Found out he did last summer. I can't keep friends for some reason. I've never had a boyfriend because I can't be around guys because of my past. I live alone. Have 2 jobs I hate. Life is just one damned thing after another. Don't know what to do... |
| | Posted by Grass at April 17, 2011 |
I really want a hamster. Few days ago me and my friend went to the pet store and bought a hamster and a cage. The cage was HUGE and I realized that I can't hide it so I told my mom over the phone. She got so angry and scolded me. So I returned the pet and cage. It was 9 pm and I had to get home using sky trains and buses. My mom scolded me for an hour and I cried. It was supposed to be my best day but it turned out my worst day. Life sucks hell. I really want a cute dwarf hamster. |
| | Posted by mary at April 17, 2011 |
I am a 25 year old woman whose life has been chosen for me from the day I was born. I was a really bright little girl growing up. Unfortunately my father was 73 years old when I was born and my mother was around 50 something, they were both from over seas with close minded brains. I was the last child of 11 children. SO in school I was at middle school reading levels when I was only in the first grade, but my parents didnt understand or for that matter didnt care, if I needed school supplies they would never get them for me and I would get lend me down clothes to wear... Besides my dad was an alcoholic who abused my mother and had several affairs with random women, my mom couldnt do anything she had no education, no job, no car, no family to support her. When I was 8 years old I was not allowed to play outside anymore because my mom had to prepare me for marriage so I had to learn how to cook full course meals and clean and do all the responsibilities a grown women has to do. So as I was growing up I struggled with school because I was so tired of working all day and night preparing to be a good wife ... When I was 12 I had a crush on someone and he did too we were talking and sending letters to each other until my family found out when I was 14 yrs. old and what I did was so wrong to my family so my brothers beat me half to death and arranged an engagment with someone I barely knew I got married to him at 16yrs of age, I was beaten by him he neglected me, he would get m... |
| | Posted by wolfycub at April 17, 2011 |
dad you want to know what i have you to thank for??
i can thank you for the scars i have from myself on the outside
and the scars on the inside from you
i can thank you for making me grow up to young and
teaching me hate
i can thank you for this emptyness that messes me up
and makes me numb to life
i can thank you for making me relive every broken dream i had,
that my my family hated me because you do
you runied my dreams my childhood and my life
because i do not forgive
thouse who do not try for redemtion.
thanks dad. |
| | Posted by Sisyphus at April 17, 2011 |
I have always been laureled with a certain compliment: "You're a smart young man." I at times, am loathe to say that those people were right, I am cursed with raw, unprecedented genius. In elementary school I always was the top of the class. And I was mature for my age as well. Half the time, I related to my teachers better than the other students. I would sit next to them and carry on my conversations with people five times my age, because talking about politics was so much easier than playing tag. Looking back, I was accepted by the rest of the students. When kids are that young, the majority are just too innocent to harbor hate. But I couldn't tell. I could only feel that was that I was different, and I desperately wanted to belong, but I didn't understand them. And so I made my first mistake: I left them alone, to forge within myself a barrier against them, and forget them while I would play by myself.
Life changed. Soon I was in Jr. High, I got a girlfriend. To this day I still feel sorry for her. Her life had been so hard, so much struggle, pain. I wanted to be there for her. I was young, and I thought that somehow I could help carry that weight, to help her shrug it off. I spent almost all my time with her. When her family was evicted, I was there helping them pack their belongings into the sunrise. I helped her with her schoolwork, I wanted her to succeed. Maybe, I thought, if I can help this girl I can redeem myself in other people's eyes, my own eyes. B... |
| | Posted by Josef Breigal at April 16, 2011 |
I'm bipolar and I'm medicated but it doesn't work. Even though life is good and everything is going as it should I want to kill myself I just don't have the balls. I could be the richest most loved person in the world and still be miserable. I hope I find the courage to cut my losses short and end things without suffering more. |
| | Posted by CrystalinaJeann at April 16, 2011 |
Okay....since I don't have the money to go see a shrink I will finally talk about my life on here. When I was 9 my stepfather decided to forget I was suppose to be like a daughter to him and decided I looked more like a mistress. From then until 14 I decided to hide it from my mom who was happy for the 1st time in her life. By the time I was 14 he was treating her so badly I decided there was no reason to hold on to this secret for him anymore. I told her. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE! She didn't believe me. I spent the next 4 years of my life in girls homes and lock downs. She found out the truth when I was 16 but she didn't leave him. Nor did she get me out of where I was. She left me there and went on about her life with her husband. I ran away from these places all the time trying to go back home but my mom would just send me back. On one of my ventures home, (I was 14) I was raped by 4 men. Another time I was attacked and robbed....it was hell to say the least. Then I was 18 and they couldn't hurt me anymore, right? Wrong! I fell in love with this guy and we got married and had two children. I lost my license....got put in jail for 3 months and when I got out. My husband had abandoned me and the kids to go to another woman. I can't bring myself to type any more of this nightmare but to say the least, it's just been a downward spiral since then. |
| | Posted by i cant sleep at April 16, 2011 |
im 19 and never had a girlfriend, although I have been with girls... I feel that i have missed too many opportunities that came my way. im in university to which i meet many girls but i feel that if i start a relationship now, i will just fuck it up badly as i am inexperienced and i get very nervous when committed to someone. i CANT SLEEP MOST NIGHTS BEAUCSE IM TOO SAD:(
Moreover as of late i seem to fuck up at everything i do.... I constantly make clumsy mistakes that make me and im sure others think im a complete moron. Furthermore my sub warden wants me to do a speech which constantly blackens by day with the form of me shitting my pants. On a side note i do in fact have many friends but i never really feel i relate to them as i just feel lonely. Furthermore is watching some porn unethical and maybe part of my problems?
to the people who read this... I know many of you have it way worse of than me so i give my condolences to you in that respect. Furthermore as to the following comment, i felt it helped me so i hope it can do the same for you.
'sadness is a necessary part as life as it gives meaning to the good parts of life. If there was no darkness, how would one know of or appreciate the light?' Wouldn't a utopian and completely great universe be shit as if everything always went right, then there would be no point in trying or even living as things would come right anyway. Therefore i conclude that we have to have shitty times,whereby i admit some have worse than others but that i alone cannot explain... I suggest you read the problem of evil in philosophy as it helped me abit.
cheers
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| | Posted by anonymous at April 16, 2011 |
my life was fine,until my daughter passed away.now i have depression,post traumatic stress disorder.my other half acts as if nothing is wrong.and that i'm crazy.my job of 15 years fired me due to my daughters death.i cant get a job or unemployment.whats the point of anything.i've depleted my savings tolive off of.now thats gone.i'll probally lose my home that i've worked so hard for.i just think my life SUCKS so bad!!!!!!! i want to go home but the other half(my unconcern spouse) wants to stay in the country of california.believe me its a different country here.cus he smokes pot.and hes medically addicted.my state its illegal for medical use.he wont get a job.or help out.so YES MY LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!! |
| | Posted by Loser at April 16, 2011 |
i did some bad things growing up.hung with losers,drug addicts an alcoholics(i am all these things too).could see my name in the paper at least 3x a yr. from 18-22.if i got caught for all the law breaking,id still be in the slam. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 16, 2011 |
How can someone live a happy life in today’s society?
I am living, what some people would call, a comfortable life. I am 19 year old canadian male, look like a normal dude (looks are not a problem), I’m going to medical school abroad in europe (I’m not very smart/average intelligence that is why im studying abroad and not back home), born and raised in a big city, and have a couple of good friends.
You may think I’m being a negative nancy but I’ve been depressed for years now not because of where I am in life but because of the way people treat eachother and what our values are nowaday.
If human relationship is the key to happiness, how can we be so cruel to eachother. We all are going to die, you’d think that would make us love eachother. The length of our lives are so short compared to the time of the universe, it seems absurd that people are not living our time here together. We continue to be cold, unsympathetic and distance ourselves from eachother. Everything is focused on being cool these days. We work our asses off to get money to feed our ego by showing ourselves off to others. Its not really survival anymore, its who is better than who. Why is this more important than loving eachother and being happy? Why does everyone have to or try to be so fucking cool? Why do we have to dress a certain way to be accepted by others? Why is there such an emphasis around the world for guys to be very muscular and girls to be very thin? Why do people get so pre... |
| | Posted by Monster at April 15, 2011 |
Well I guess I was foolish enough to imagine that some of you would be able to empathise with me and my plot in this existence. I thought that some would give me encouraging words. But, as usual, I was wrong. No I wasn't making my life-storey up. I was found in a back alley and the doctors said that I was "lucky" to be alive. I've never known who my parents were. I was put into an orphanage and placed into several foster homes, where I was verbally and physically abused. I eventually ran away from my last home and started living on the streets. I figured that's where I truely belonged. Being there I saw many horrible things. Even worse then the things I experienced. I saw a man get shot in the head, a women gang raped by six other men, a little girl sodomized... I saw the worst of human nature, or maybe I saw what humans actually are. I got a job and saved enough to get off the streets but can only afford to rent a small shack that is still boarded up (hence why people think it's vacant). There are rats in the walls and cockaroaches everywhere. I have some sort of condition and I feel pain all over my body, even to the point where start screaming and crying. Whenever I'm out in public I conceal myself by a larg raincoat, a hat, and sunglasses. I don't like people looking at me. I do like a girl and have for some seven odd years but it's wrong for me to like her (she doesn't know me or I her and am just a monster unworthy of love). |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 15, 2011 |
I am brown. No girl likes m. Never had a gf, never kissed a girl or went out on a date. I tried man everywhere. Dressing sense people like still no luck. Been 22 years.Teachers I dnt know why grade me badly even thought I knew I am suppose to get marks. Everyone wants money, friends for money too these days. No girl, no good marks, no athelte body, ashamed of taking shirt of to swim, look ugly, nose is crooked too, get sick often, money problem bla bla bla bla. Scared to die too. Left in between. Atleast I had a gf than I would hv felt better that I am not a loser.
Nobody will care, nobody will can help. All this world is about money. No hope anywhere neither in lottery. Think if I was rich I would be a brat, nope, open business n help community. I am what u can c, a loser. arbitrary click by mistake u might have done to waste yr mins of life reading abt m ull say. oh God, what? what what?! |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 15, 2011 |
I dont hav the great reasons as u ppl hav. But I know one thing. I lost the one I luvd most. Let me correct, I got dumped now it looks like I was a fool or idiot Or may be I hav become.
Everything else in a sufficient way was given to me by GOD. Things were happening the way we planned and in the way it happened the way she might hav planned.
Just one thing.........I did not died, it proved that I did not love her.
Is there nothing called first luv. She was with me n she luvd me n she is not with me becaz she dont luv me n she care for me. What the fuck. Did i forced her to come into my life. Did I forced her to spend 3 years. Did I asked her to take all the commitments.
I CUD BELIEVE IN MY DEATH BUT NOT IN THAT SHE WILL LEAVE ME.
IF HE HAS MADE ME REACH IN THIS CONDITION THAN HE SHUD SHOW ME THE WAY ........... |
| | Posted by josh at April 15, 2011 |
i am married and have three kids. step kids with behavior problems. i've had no steady work for the last four years...and i live with my parents (who i feel bad for, cuz they are up in years and are poor as dirt). what started all this. i have a list of mental problems that go way back. as soon as i was gonna be diagnosed with schizophrenia/bypolar disorder i avoided the doctor because i hated the three meds i had already tried. i cry alot. i feel depressed and have non-stop anxiety. |
| | Posted by DanLONER at April 15, 2011 |
I never felt happy. People insult me, people criticise me hard. They hate me for who I am, what I do. I dunno why but they just hate me. Onlookers hate me too, as if they wanna bully me. Even dogs, bark at me and wanna bite me. I dunno why I suck so much as a person. I am 16. I never really felt happy since 6 years old. I could remember that was the only time when I was really carefree and enjoyable. Yeah...Even when I was 14, I cry a lot, due to hatred of people and people bullying me. I never had any self esteem, self confidence. Even god hates me. Never had gf, never kiss, never hug, never had sex. I am totally pure. Tell me the purpose of living man. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 15, 2011 |
You know, I may be 16, but I have a big heart, and it beats fairly quiet now adays. Everything this year has literally been turned around for the worst, and just ends up hurting me in the end. I dropped out of excellent classes at my school, simply because when I nearly died from pnuemonia and was hospitalized, my school administrators and teachers remained unsympathetic on my workload and I could not keep up with my classes and what we were being taught, let alone keeping strong grades. I wanted to play football after I had trained and worked out all summer vacation, and the coaches told me I wasn't good enough, which added to my dissapointment. After being denied into the football team, I wanted to go to the swim team, which is where I caught a deadly case of pnuemonia and was put in the hospital for several days, they had me on inhalers, and I am never fully going to recover.
I am hated and not cared about at school. Over christmas break this year, I met 3 young girls who lived far away, but they actually cared and wanted to talk to me, the first time in my entire life I felt someone truly cared. I talked to and continued to make efforts to meet with one of them, and did over breaks I had from school, eventually declaring I felt strongly about her as many teenagers do with at least one person at some point. She came to me the other night and claimed she did not wish to continue trying and it would be best to just let "this all go", leaving the one person I t... |
| | Posted by always misserable at April 15, 2011 |
well my story starts when I was young always being bounced around from city to city have no real friends in this life and never had been abused by family and neighbors when i was young. been in out of jail until i was 19 now im 40 and the only thing ive ever accomplished was im not in jail now my family hates the site of me cause I look like my drunk father and my family tell me all the time my woman that i thought i loved cheated on me we were together for 17 yrs now my life is complete this life sucks and I want no part of this world anymore thats right anymore there is no happiness in this life for me no more so why live in a place that doesn't want you in it but only for the taxes or a number that i dont want |
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