LIFE SUCKS : 2011 August

conclusion

I taught that my life sucks and then I found out that website , read every single story and I knew that my life doesn't suck that much.

i hate my life

Ok where to start? Fresh out of school with no job no real skills.i was a football player an had high hopes to goto college an was shot down.my mother lied to me about talking to a college for mouths an when time came for school she just looked at me said its not my fault.she went to everyone i know an told them i was going to school an that she talked to the college but nothing.i can't believe my own mother would lie to me like that. Now i don't Evan want to go out because everyone asks me about school.i have lost my friends lil true friends i had ,most people only call my phone for me to do something for them(driving them,helping them move,money ect..)i have no girl friend havent since about ninthgrade all i do is workout body is in great shape but yet i can't get up the balls to talk to a girl. my life just sucks how did i get here I'm just 20 an have the worst out look on life i just really don't care about it.i don't know maybe i need to search for some kind of career or Jr college,cause I'm about to go crazy!!!


Any suggestion?

Try this on for size

I am 46 and lost my job about 6 months ago. I have job skills yet can not find a job of any sort. I cant get a crappy burger flippin job because i am over qualified and every other job i apply for has 400 other applicants. I have worked since i was 16. I served 11 years in the military. I bought a motorcyle last year and dont know how much longer i will be getting this unemployment. I have a car payment, bike, insurance on both plus child support. I moved in with my GF last year and since i lost my job it has been hell. My mood and depression have gone to shit, i have no energy, never want to do anything or even leave the house. I am becoming hostile towards everyone and when i say anything she blows it out of proportion that i am just being angry even when i am not. i cant move cause i dont have any money. i have lived with her almost a year and none of my shit is in the house except my clothes. everything else is still in boxes in the polebarn. all i do is sit on this puter and fill out as many apps as i can for jobs that i am qualified to do. i have probably sent out 600 or so apps and resumes and have had 2 interviews. thought i had both of them as i had second interviews with both. again i think my age is working against me even though i am a proven worker, and leader from my military training and background. my faith is waivering a little, i know God has my back i just wish he would help me get a job or point me in the right direction. most times i go to bed praying that i wont wake up. i used to love riding motorcycles which is why we bought one last year. in one year of ownership it had 4K miles on it..pitiful for me..i am actually surprised it has that many on it. and if its not me not wanting to wake up its me hoping someone will just flat out run me over on the motorcycle..

Lonely

Everyday i get home from football with just enough time to get all of my homework done. I work my ass off in pre College courses and all I can hear in those classes is how people didn't have enough time to finish their work and it pisses me off to know end when it is really their own fault.
I dedicate most of my energy during the day to football. I run the drills as much as I can, but I never play. After I do a drill I can always hear my coach say, "Come on you're killing me." And sometimes, I want to. Just to prove him right. I don't because I'll will one day ,because my mind will get me farther than my body.
I can tell my parents aren't listening when I'm talking to them. They always repeat the last thing I say or say "well that's exciting" without looking up from their newspaper or phone.
My sister told me to stop hugging her today because it's weird.
I met this girl the other day and we talked for about 45 minutes and I thought connected. Today I realized all she wanted was money. She has a boyfriend. Another girl asked me for a dollar to get a snack. Later on I saw her go to the vending machines with a wallet of money.
All of my friends are trying to get me to quit the sport I'm doing to join theirs. One o them keeps on asking to come over and grill, never at his place only at mine, and when I ask to go to his house, he never has time.
I started talking to this a other girl, but apparently I've made a "giant" mistake with her. Because i...

I keep trying to be positive and I find it very difficult. Always an outsider, like a dumbass I decided to go into a surgical residency. Yea, its definitely job security, but I'm one of very few woman, and even less black people that venture into this field. I am constantly around incredibly smart people who make me feel like a dumbass on a daily basis...and some are all too quick to remind me of it. I feel like I can't do anything right and am told constantly to have more confidence. I also get to watch as all of my friends go into relationships and plan weddings while I at the age of 29 can only claim one relationship lasting one year, in which the guy was cheating on me almost the entire time. I've spent the last 7 years with a guy who "doesn't want to be in a relationship" and try desparately not to sink back into my suicidal laiden teenage years all while getting 3-4hrs of sleep a night. I keep thinking things will be better when I can get my dog back...he's safe with my parents, but I really miss him and it's not helping things.

Window into a suicidal mind

I am writing this letter as an effort to leave something behind for others to read and grasp an understanding of what my thinking ability was at the time of composing this letter, or perhaps to gain some insight that will help them appreciate what they have in their respective lives. I have never done anything extraordinary with my life, never cured an infectious disease, never won a championship on an athletic field, and never made a difference in lives in any measurably positive way. I am an ordinary person, fighting demons of his own creation that no one but me could define or even sense, and that battle has finally come to an end.

I have taken the time to read over as many different suicide letters as I could given the restraints I have, and many start off with the definition of Insanity as doing the same thing over and over and over again but expecting different results. Perhaps suicide would have some application to that definition as most suicides would agree that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results describe them on a day to day basis, but suicide has nothing to do with being insane. Suicide is neither a phenomenon to be studied nor an illness to be “cured”. There is no cure. Suicide is a point in one person’s life where the coping resources they have at their disposal are overwhelmed by whatever is it they are being tortured by. I wont go into specifics regarding my situation, but I can assure you that my demons are...

i married a stripper , debt up to the ceiling and dont have guts to end my fucking life

Everyday is the same fucken shit!!!!!

I can't believe I'm writing this but maybe someOne out there feels like I do. I'm a stay at home mother and house wife. My life consists of the same routine everyday. I have a sexist pig fOr a husband who says he doesnt have to help me clean because he works to bring money intO the house. He also bitches about everything: why do I take money outta the account (maybe because I need to buy stuff!), why isn't the house clean( I fucken clean it like three times a day it's not easy when 3 kids are making a mess all day!!), why do I make the same food all the time (I'm trying to learn but I'm busy all day!!) etc. The fucken list goes on and on... Alot of you are probably thinking why the fuck am I still with him: well the answer is simple I'm not good at anything so I've just grown reliable with the life I have:-( it's sad to see this!!! I went to college & I have degree but the major I studied for was shit ( I worked in the field I studied for & realized I fucken hated it!!!!) so now I spend my most of my days regretting the day I moved In with him. If I could turn back time I would've done it all so differently. In a way I think I understand why some parents just up and leave their families, they get overwhelmed with everything that they find it easier to leave. And no one will understand it either until they've actually lived it.

waste of time

Well basicaly I'm with a girl I do every thing for. I cook for her I bust my ass at work for her and my lil girl we got 2gether. She says she loved me but showing is beleiving. She has issues wit my family that hapnd a year ago. I try and understand and care about her feelings but I fell like why hold grudges and hold it against them theyv gotten ovewr it but she can't and it puts me inthe middle cus its like do I choose her or my fam. She says she's unhappy but still stays wit me. If she's so unhappy why even bother sticking around I realy dnt think she deserves me but we got a kid I dnt want 2leave my lil girl behind

ass

My whole fucking life was a mistake I born to a mom who didn`t care if I was alive or dead. My father is marry to some other chick I don`t know and I haven`t seen him in my whole life. My grandma is a fucking bitch who gets into everyones buisense but her own. She has to pay for everything even thow most of the people she pays money for food have their own family and house and everything. She won`t leave me alone and I feel truely alone in this wotld and I can`t wait ti die- heck I tried too kill myself ever since I was 4 years old. To have a child who knows 15 ways to choke a person unbearable and this is just a summary of my life

1) at 19, engagement to first love called off one month before wedding, had to return bridal shower gifts
2) Failed Nursing school 2 weeks before graduation on decision of one person
3) Delivered misscarried baby at home, drove self to hospital with baby in towel.
4) Husband left after 19 years of marriage for hs sweetheart.
5) 12 year old son killed by car making a rt turn from a stop sign, guy didn't even get a ticket.
6) Current husband as brain cancer, 3 years to live... Life sucks, it's not fair, acknowldege it and move on.. there are still smiles to be found look for them. There is always someone who has it worse. As for God, does it really matter? It's your life, do the best you can with it and remember to smile at the simple things

When does it stop

Ok I'm 36 years old now. I'm unemployeed. Bounceing from one temp job to another. I do have degree that nobody really cares about in the job market. I don't really have any real friends. My house is in forclosure. My truck could be gone any day now. An most recently I'm single after a 6 year relationship. I'm mean who wants to date a 36 year old unemployeed man. I can't even get a job at walmart. Either I'm over qualified or they want someone younger or a better degree. Just once in my life I would like a chance just a chance. Yes my story is just like most of the others on this web site. I just can't seem to get a break. I try to stay positive, but that daily challenge is sometime to overwhelming. Some days I just don't know why I try. I'm just soooo tired of trying. When there is no light at the end of the tunnel and your flashlight ran out of batteries. It's hard to keep going. The only saving grace I have is my pets. One dog and two cats. Well I can go on and on, but it is just to depressing. For all the posties here I wish you well. Maybe tomarrow will be a better day.

wen will it end

so im 36 living at home with a mother that just doesnt know when to shut the f up she always brings up the past god please sew her mouth the f up cant find a job dont have the mony to finisf school oh and they r repoing my car life f sucks

trapped

Im 16 and my life literally sucks a big fat dick. My voice is so damn low people always think Im mumbling. Ive always been in the popular group at school but lately people are starting to fucking forget about me, not call me up, or just flat out ignore me. My mom frequently hits me if my grades get below Bs, grounds me for long periods of times, tells me ill never get into college, and forces me to do sports even though Im not very good at all. All of my friends are high acheiving varsity players and straight A students, and Im always considered the burnout of the group who sucks at everything. I have severe ADD which causes me to just sit around all day. I sell all my adderall which makes me feel like a low piece of shit, and I would probably kill myself by now if i wasnt so afraid of there not being life after death. The world is messed up, heaven cant exist because nothing is forever. the whole point of life is that its a limited time. you cant just live in heaven forever, you would have the same experiences over and over again and life would be a endless meaningless nothing. I believe in God but i just cant imagine any of this being possible. Well anyway fuck my fucking life

I lost my husband

I lost my husband 8 weeks ago today and im so depressed, we were together 10 yrs and married only 2 and half of those, he was the love of my life. We have 3 kids together, 8, 6, and 3 yrs old. I am so lonely and depressed, some days I dont even want to move but i have no choice i have 3 kids, they keep me going. I miss him like crazy I have never lost anybody close to me and this just blew me over and knocked my whole world out of whack. I try to smile and keep going but im sorry im tired of trying to be strong, thats what people tell me, just stay strong, i want to say you freaking stay strong see how you would feel if it happened to you? Strong is not an easy thing to do. How do I keep going when I love him so much and just wish I could crawl into a hole and never come out. Not many people become widows at 27 yrs old. Im blessed because i have good kids that i love to death but i miss my baby, i miss his texts while im at work, i miss his kisses and his love its like God made him just for me and then when we finally got our lives together God takes him, Im so tired and want to go back into time but I cant. I have to force myself to go on. this is the worst feeling ever. I just wanted to let it out.

tired

I'm so tired of being alone. My husband is gone most of the time. He asked me what's wrong..and I told him. He won't change or slow down. He's either working playing golf fishing or whatever. I have chronic illness. Hand can't do a lot of things. I have hobbies but its not enough.. what to do..?

Can't Take It!

I just can't take it anymore, i'm 15 years of age now and most 15 year olds are out with their friends, partying and doing all kinds of shit like tht. I never quiet knew what was wrong with me. Now I think of it i've always been alone, ever since my best friend left school when i was 7. i never fitted in with anyone else. Some people make it look soo easy, I see these ppl always out with their friends, they always hav something to do, and i always wonder why they couldnt be me. I wuld Loveee to hav a friend to just be able to call and talk to, I hav no-one on my phone tht I can ring.
I'm just so tired of Life now, I feel so embarrased in front of my family when they ask 'why arnt you going out?'. I've never been soo lonely in my entire life befor and i jus don't want to go on. I can't do it!

Broken

My father beat me up constantly from the day I was born. I am afraid of everything. I am an alcoholic and a drug addict. I would commit suicide but I am afraid to.

This is just the current problem...

Okay life has been really shit from the get go. But you know what I'm not going to go there, because it will be really long-winded and who the fuck is gonna care? Instead I will rant about my current situation. I am 22 and live with my parents who are financially ruined, and I only work part-time so I cannot afford to even rent a room. I'm fed up of my future being in their fucking useless hands, and watch all my other siblings get married off and find happiness. Because of bad experiences in the past I'm shit with people, and don't have many friends. I have one friend who I am starting to depsise because we are the polar opposite of one another. I am beginning to hate women because they are really materialistic but they go round saying "oh he has to have a nice personality" oh a nice personality huh? Nothing to do with the Jaguar he's driving, or the massive house he owns? FUCK!!! I used to hate drinking because to me it represented a social ritual, something you had to conform to on a night out. But now I feel addicted to alcohol and it's not even a social thing. I will sit in my room and down whisky neat until bubbles rise in the bottle and my throat burns like a buzzsaw. For someone who has grown to hate people I am sure lonely. It's because I haven't abandoned all hope, I say to myself not everyone is an arsehole. I tell myself my situation will get better. But if I lost that last shred of hope, maybe ending my monotonous life would be easier. What makes it worse is that I see people get nostalgic over good memories. I never had good memories to begin with, how can I function as a human being without basic human understanding and experience? I'm fucked. I'm lonely. I'm just another statistic that got through the net.

well i just wana share thats all...

ok this is my first time iam sharing my story online on a blog... just wana share it thats alll.i got no 1 in my life that realy from childhood ever holded me.Iam just alwayzz on my laptop spending time just to ignore my past feeling and stories i nver shard my feeling to ani 1 well i did i had a GF which i realy realy dammed loved her soo much i loved her so much that ...dat loved which i gav no 1 eva did to me even my own real mother did not father well roming wid other girl once... whn i was in class 6ix me and my sister reachd home ...haha well b4 that my mother and myself and my sister used to play games whn we reach home like hide and seek my mother used to hide when we come home,and once we reached home and was looking for my mother we looked for her everywhere, but she dint come suddenly my father came and lied to us that our mother went for sum function den weeks past by my sister sudenly left me and den i relised dat my mother left me for real and den my father left me i startd living wid my (Gparents)welll dat was kull 4..a week and den i relised dat i was nver loved cuz my mother alwayz used to love my sister used to ignore my i dont know what i did i was a small kid and now itss beeen 6years wid out my parents.i was never ment to b love by ani 1
well i see my friends evrytime hapy in der own life .i come home and think of how dey go home dey meet der parents,and like evry night i just cry til morning i cant go off to sleep cuz its like a hav nothing in m...