| | Posted by lonelygirl at July 22, 2011 |
Im 16 and live in Missouri. I dont have many close friends, and most are out of town a lot of the time so we almost never see each other. My best friend is manic depressive and spends more time in the hospital from attempting suicide than at home, so I almost never get to see her. No one at school understands me. My parents and sister dont understand me. They think im a bitch and I always let them down. I've ruined a lot of relationships with amazing guys for no apparent reason at all. Those thing plus not having the best grades is causing a downward spiral that I dont think I can't recover from. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 22, 2011 |
Every day when I was little I would sit in the corner of my room. Yeah you may think, "Oh its not so bad" try doing it with the thought of suicide, every one that you ever cared about is dead, and try surviving about 2-3 years of almost complete isolation, and no contact with the outside world. Oh don`t forget about the years without food part and the thought of being completly useless and wonder why you were born to this planet. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 22, 2011 |
My whole life sucks beacause of my mom, dad, and grandma.
My life sucked the moment I was born. My mom never cared if I was alive. My dad left me and my mom when I was an infant and my family would care less if I was turn out dead. I wanted to kill myself so bad and I almost succeeded, but the only person in my family who I cared most in the world stopped me from further actions. But when she died I drew the line on my life. I was eight years old and I knew how to stranggle myself myself. I can survive a long stranggle for a while, but just knowing the fact hurts me inside. I consider myself dead. I am a fourteen year old girl and I still want to commite suicide. And I bet no one will be shocked by it. I have no heart in my chest and school problems are coming up which make my grandma the bastard of them all. |
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| Posted by MonaLisa at July 22, 2011 |
I'm 30, beautiful, married to a great guy, I have a good job with nice benefits, great dog, nice apartment, family loves me and my life sucks because I have depression since my early teens which leaves me with inability to be happy and appreciate things that I have.
In my head I am old, ugly, my husband does not care about me, my job is boring and people annoy me, I surrounded myself with people that I really don't like and I call them my friends. I don't know what makes me happy, I have no energy to change anything...
Life sucks, but well, on the bright side I will die eventually. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 22, 2011 |
After I finished my master i got a very good opportunity to study a PhD. I got a good scholarship in another country. I got a student dorm and it was all set up. Then i started having interviews with the researchers and my future colleges. Before classes even started i started to get so nervous. I could sleep at all. When i tried to sleep, i just dreamed about me getting one bad grade. That would make me loose the scholarship. That scared me. So my dreamed turned into me doing everything to get good grades, everything. Including pills to help me focus. Then in the dream, the pills lost effect, so I started taking something stronger. Then I had to pay more for them. To make the story short i saw myself in that nightmare, prostituting myself to get the drugs, which were of no use anymore to study, since I had been kicked out of PhD. I spent days not really sleeping, every time i closed my eyes i got these images. Then i started feeling that if i couldnt even sleep, that was going to be a terrible start.
I was sexually abused as a teenager. I got in a bad depression during college. I barely made it through with a bunch of pills and doctors and therapy.
The image of drug abusing and prostituting myself, with this background, just got too much. I quit.
I dropped the programe, thinking i already have a degree, i can get a job. Well, i havent got a job that pays more than 1500 a month in over 5 years, i have no working experience in my field. I cannot reenter a PhD programme since i screwed up with the people that recommended me in the first time. I feel like i am going to be saying 200 times a day "Good morning, you have called ...., how can we help you" for the rest of my life.
I dont know how to change it. I apply for so many jobs every month. |
| | Posted by Kate at July 22, 2011 |
m currently unemployed...n i guess i will stay like this forever...all my friends have got job...n they pity me...m depressed and want to die...m such a looser and i cnt do nething in lyf |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 22, 2011 |
I have had a good life. I am very smart and good looking. I got a scholarship to study at University. Have a Master degree in mathematics (yeah, i said i was smart). I speak 3 languages. I graduated in 2006, and since then the only jobs i have gotten are secretarial jobs. I know that when out there there is some many people with no job at all, i should be grateful to have even this kind of jobs, but i cannot. I busted my ass to get my degree, and i feel so embarrassed to tell my friends that i am receptionist. I have stayed away from most of them, since i cannot stand to hear their work stories. Most of them are not getting rich, but at least get up every day WANTING to go to work. I get jobs like this, and I take them because hey "anything legal and decent is better than unemployment", but a couple of months later I start feeling depressed, I have a very hard time getting up in the morning, start gaining weight. Until one day either I quit, or i am doing my job so wrong that i get let go. And then i get optimistic again, i start doing exercise, sending my CV, etc. Until i get no money left, and then i take a job clerical job, again. Which after some months ends up the same way.
I just cannot get a job that has to do with my career and meets my potential, and needs, and where i will possibly grow.
During my studies one time i got depressed bit time. The doctors recommended that I take a year off and live with my parents while i was in medication. It help then, ... |
| | Posted by girl at July 22, 2011 |
I feel like I don't belong in this world. I can never be myself around anyone I'm not really intimate friends with. I feel like such an idiot as I walk by myself to and from classes. I'm working with people I know I'll just leave a bad impression on. Everywhere I go, I think I'm being misjudged because I can't show my extroverted side around 95% of the people I know. I can't show my interesting side. The people, particularly the person, who I thought were true friends and cared and made me happy, they just let me down. So many misunderstandings. I feel alone, depressed, miserable. My soulmate, if you want to call him that, we have so much love yet we don't ever talk, we pretend it's not there, and we've never acknowledged any of it for three years. I generally feel like crap - rainy weather, people who speak in cold tones to me, people who seem to dislike me for seemingly no reason at all, lack of friends, lack of comfort, gone are all the things I appreciate in life, I'm sick, I let myself down. |
| | Posted by Ihatemylife at July 22, 2011 |
OK, where do I start???
Should I start from how I hate my current job? or how I hate my neighborhood? hate the city where I live in ?
I'm 28, I had a job (for now and I a feeling that I will be fired??????) . Honestly, I really hate my job but I need that to sustain my life. And it's hard to find a job right now. I know I should be grateful for that. But I truly hate it. But I don't want to lose my job either. It's really confusing. And I don't know what I truly like either. I don't have enough money, because I'm paid a small money. My salary every month is just gone away.I hate the city where I live in. It's a very crowded city, dirty, dusty city. I hate doing the same thing every single day. Everyday just wake up, go to work, came home very late. It's the same boring day, every day.I'm really bored and tired.
So, do I really hate my life or I just bored ?????? |
| | Posted by Lithium at July 22, 2011 |
I'm deployed. My marriage has gone to shit. Wife won't talk to me because she is always too busy with other people. She is spending huge amounts of money saying she is paying off cards etc but it's being taken out at an ATM 300 at a time. She couldn't care less about our relationship and fixing the marriage she has broken but now that her dog is sick she is heartbroken about that but won't let me try to be emotionally supportive. She has other people for that. But it will be me that gets to watch the money I've while saved here go to the dogs 8k surgery so he can continue to piss and shit all over the house. We were so happy before I left. Guess if I make it home it will be to divorce papers and if I'm lucky a couple boxes of my stuff. She has even said that she will keep my dog. Best case scenario I get blown up and she gets 500k in life insurance. At least that may make her happy because I can't. |
| | Posted by david at July 22, 2011 |
A year ago I was visiting my wife to Texas (I'm from Seattle) I drive 4 days and 3 nights with my 2 years old son (from seattle to texas) ... I saw her just one day, everything was going fine until we went to a gas station .. she take my money, my car, my cell phone .. and my little boy. I took a month to return to Seattle. when I return to Seattle she was living with another man.
I can not see my son, she told the judge that I leave the family .... it was a year ago. I feel lonely, I started using drugs, I have no friends. This loneliness is killing me, seems that nobody gives a shit for me. I would like to see my son, make friends and be happy, but apparently that's not for me.
thanks for read this. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 22, 2011 |
I'm 16 years old. I live in a rich neighborhood but i'm far from being "rich". M y parents were just good at saving their money is all. I have a lot to feel blessed for, i mean, i have food and a nice house and i go to a good school district. Not to mention the tv's and the computer that my family has. All this stuff makes me feel guilty about being unhappy because i always think about the people that have nothing. Yet, i feel like i could live without all this stuff. I remember when i was young and we didn't have a computer or an Xbox and i used to go out and hang with friends all the time. I was happy then without all this technology that i have now. But now i don't have any "friends". I mean, i'm on my summer break right now and i haven't hung out without anybody since the first week of June! It seems like all my friends have just become acquaintances to me now and i have nobody to call my best friend. Nobody replies when i text them, people ignore me on Facebook, its almost like nobody cares about me. And that's when i have to ask "why?".
I would say that i'm an attractive guy. I'm pretty intelligent too. I'm 6 feet tall and very fit. And yet, I've never had a real girlfriend before. I've begun to lower my standards to try and just get a girlfriend but even when i do that, somehow i end up ruining any chance i get with all the girls i like. This one girl that i like may not seem very attractive to most guys but i like her personality and she always makes me... |
| | Posted by worthless at July 22, 2011 |
im in love with a boy. he canīt love me back.
same old story eh? been in love with him for 6 years now.
he loves me like in a brotherly way, but of course, that
is just not enough, never.
today i almost ended both our lives in a big sudden depression.
call me selfish if u like. dont care anymore what others think.
i just want what everyone seems to have at
some point. love. i dont love anybody but him, he saved my
life once and since then i canīt seem to be able to just leave
him the fuck alone.
im crying right now and i dont know what ill do with myself right
now but dying seems like a way out.
i understand his position as well as the grotesque nature of my
feelings but canīt live with it happily. I thought iīd stop liking him once
he hit puberty but now i dont even like him, i just love him madly.
Wish some idiotic bastard could just track me from here and shoot me
on the fucking head.
i have almost everything, but without knowing someone loves you back, life is worthless.
hes 13, im 24. weīre both males. everybody go ahead and bash me. i dont care.
i do hope i disgust some people. im sick of changing myself to be "likable" or "friendly". The boy didnt let me cut myself, he wants me to stay. |
| | Posted by anon at July 21, 2011 |
Ok so I've been physically and emotionally abused by my parents, as far as I can remember the first time was when I was 3 or 4 & stabbed with a fork. Molested and raped by my family growing up and by a guy who I thought was my friend. Never had any friends in school, always was made fun of because I was quiet. My parents never let me out of the house anyway as a teenager. Then finally got someone who I thought was nice to me and listened and protected me, my father's friend who is 32 years older then me. Fell in love, had to hide it until I was 18. Little did I know he took complete advantage of me, cheating the whole time, didn't know until I got pregnant with his kid at almost 19. Gave birth to my son and at 2 days old, he almost died in my arms. Turns out he has a very rare disease that effects 1 in 50,000 people. Now the most I can go is 4 hours without him eating or his blood sugar drops to dangerously low levels and could die. He needs to take very expensive medicine to stay alive and I'm getting very tired after 3 years of waking up every 3-4 hours but it has to be done. Shortly after I had my son I gained 70 lbs because of hypothyroidism and the weight just won't come off. I've discovered I have a breast deformity also. I've always had low self esteem and body image problems and now it's worse then ever. Guys always told me I was pretty but that was a big lie, never was pretty, never will be. Now I'm in college, trying to get in the dental hygiene program & having... |
| | Posted by stan at July 21, 2011 |
i know it doesnt helps me even i write my whole story, i just felt so lonely and typed what came into my mind in search box. This is where im now, may be its my own fault. can i even get a friend with same thinking ? i dont ask nothin more. And i truly wish i can love some one, in my own little ways , ah any way im going. Il remember this post i just did. May be, or not, out |
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| Posted by anonymous at July 21, 2011 |
im 19 years old. i barely have any real friends. im becoming antisocial. i hate my job at a dumb ass home improvement store. guys dont fukn find me attractive. im fat and too shy to go out and doing anything, i feel uncomfortable around almost everyone. imma virgin and i think i will die one. at college i barely know anyone. i fake like im happy when im really depressed. i hate my lifeee so fukn much. i dont do anything and i am aging terribly. people think me and my mother are sisters and i can tell that they think shes way prettier than me. i built like a fukn linebacker. my hair breaks off terribly and wont grow past my neck. i have terrible acne and stretch marks all over my body. i think i might be the unluckiest person in the fukn world!!!! |
| | Posted by jaded and 18 at July 21, 2011 |
Well my boss asked me to get him shrooms. Fucked up right? And so once I thought I had a trusty creaked he is totally flaking on me. I told my boss I already had them...well now I don't and I promised them tomorrow. And now he's gonna fire me basically. And my best friend of like 10 years has started lying to me about wanting to hang out. And my mom died a few months ago. And I'm fucking my ex boyfriend...bad move. And my sister is pretty much crazy. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 21, 2011 |
Think of growing up in an abusive alcohalic's home, parent's divorced by 12yrs of age, mother with whom you live going through her 2nd youth, father denying your existance, not knowing what the hell your doing...enter a college program no one in your family supports...upon recieving your degree, become pregnant and unable to find a position within your field and knowing your childs father will never support his child...fastfood management sucks, but it paid the bills...then finding your dream man...who doesn't want children...moving to a completely different state to support a family member whom never supported you...to be left behind in that state by the one you went there for...marrying a man in that state that becomes a heavy drinker, addicted to porn, beat you, threatens to kill you after the honeymoon year is over...oh honey, it will never happen again, lets go to counciling... not knowing what to do because you've had another child with him by then, and there is nobody you feel you can turn to...living 16 years of constant belittling and abuse, because, "the kids will be better off if I stay, it's the right thing, we can make this work"... because your daughter is diagnosed bipolar and your son ADHD... you spend most of your time taking them to their multiple counciling appointments...sure to take care of everyone but yourself...your daughter stops taking her meds, left home, dropped out of school, gets hooked on drugs, lives off others, and ends up being tak... |
| | Posted by Alone4Ever at July 21, 2011 |
I'm almost 30 and still a virgin. Never been kissed, touched or hugged by the opposite sex.
People hate me. Sh*t, I hate me. What's there to love? An extremely overweight, unattractive, anxiety-ridden, nervous wreck with little to no social skills. Never had a real-life relationship or any real intimacy with a live human being. I have been emotionally and physically abused by my father and step-father since I were a child.
I was always told by everyone that I am nothing but a loser. Now, I'm starting to accept and believe it. Everyone feels awkward around me because of my social anxiety disorder. I am isolated most of the time.
I want to end my life, but fail to do so. I know I will only end up old and alone if I keep on living life this way. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 21, 2011 |
Hello, I am a 15 year old guy. My life sucks. I have serious heart conditions most often seen in 70+ year old men and I cannot exercise. So I am overweight. I also have Kawasaki disease (look it up if you want) and asthma.
I have a s**tty father who won't parent his children, so I am the other parent. My mother is constantly tired and sleeps all the time, so I have to watch my 4 younger siblings often. I am only allowed out of the house when we go grocery shopping or on the rare occasion of driving through a forest preserve. I have few friends. And the few friends I have don't really like me. (Ex. My heart bothered me during lunch and one of them laughed at me) I've never dated, never had a girl like me (I don't think), and I've only been outside without my parents once. My mother is overbearing, my father is a lazy s**t and my siblings are all restless because they never leave our 2 bedroom apartment. I sleep in a closet. The closet to the 2nd bedroom, which hosts 3 of my siblings. The other bedroom hosts my parents and youngest sibling.
I own almost nothing. I have a DS and that's about it. We have a Wii, but no games, and a japanese PS2 which only my father can read.
I am 50 percent japanese, 50 percent german. What racist comment can you think of? -_-
All of our furniture was broke by our neighbor's child. My mother decided she'd babysit, and then the child ripped our couch and loveseat, broke our beds, and broke 2 chairs.
I feel like everythi... |
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