LIFE SUCKS : 2011 November

life sucks

well wht to say friends..

I was just like cool!! till my 25 and after life started acting miserableness, now am 29. I have a cool job everyday & even a hottest girlfriends but even tho i cant sleep. Am not a druggy & dont have any addictions, but i just cant sleep all the time even when i am happy too. Seriously its a midnight, sun raise in next 2hours but i still cant sleep and this happens every day and every night.

My life just sucks
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Life is bollocks

No matter how much I try to enjoy life or get active in it, life always bites me back in the ass. I'm the only member of my family that's anti-social, uncensored, and honest. Most of them are pure American Christians who stick to the home-family bullshit and they don't get me. They say God has a plan for all of us. Well when I found out half my adult teeth were missing, where was God? When my mom got breast cancer, where was God? When I found out I have NLD and dysgraphia, where was God? I'm the weird socially awkward one and everything I say ends in awkward silence. Even my boyfriend feels awkward around me. I'm nothing but a nuisance and I'm done with life

How do people get through it?

Like some of you younger kids, I went to school, got a job, did decently, had a decent career. Then I got laid off. Now I don't know what to do. Hubby has a job that he is gone a lot and I'm alone. No job. I went back to school to prepare for a new career since I can't get a job in my old field. It's terrible- just sitting and studying all the time. I can't do this for years, and I don't like the subject anyway. I don't want to start over.

But I have years left of life. Should I just never work again? Just live off the husband and enjoy myself? Or go back to school anyway, spend years doing that, just to get a job in a different field that I don't like just because I can then say that I'm working too and pulling my own weight.

I'm so depressed and confused about it I just sleep all the time. Life is so pointless you know. All you can do is find ways to distract yourself from it.

Here's a snapshot into my life. I'm 24 this year and i live in Asia. I used to battle with manic depression throughout my adolescent years and well into my early 20s. Mainly the contributing factor are school stress and life. I don't know what it is actually that i'm always so caught up with the rapid ever-changing pace of life that i can barely keep up. I find that i may look tough on the exterior, but internally i can just crumble to pieces. The thought that always crosses my mind is why am i here in this world, having to go through life in this trying times. Why don't i have a boyfriend whom i can have a relationship with and have mutual feelings for each other, why am i always plagues by this financial crisis thing, what do i really enjoy doing, what do i want out of my life. I really have no clue as to what i can do to better myself or improve my state of mind. I'm just simply tired of living.

12 years alone

I am 29 years old but I have allays felt older ever since i was a kid L could never relate to if so a few people i never had a girlfriend in high school and I thought i was because I am shy with women but after 12 years it most be something in me that is broken I have never had a mining full relationship. i was living with my mother and brother until last year and that did not help me and after I moved away this feeling of anxiety hit me and i went out and I meet some women but I did not know how to treat them so I lost there affection that was short lived and the last woman I met I really liked her but one more I did not know what to do and after one encounter and my stupidity she do not want anything to do with me and for the past last moths i being in this depression That i don't want to do nothing or go out and the only thing that help me from feeling worst is pot because I went to get drunk and my depression got much deeper and this feeling of just want to be numb and the separation of the few friends that I got had not help and I the feeling of just wanting to ended all but i do not want to do to my mother of her son committing suicide just because i not happy will just bring more pain to her but I know if I die tomorrow only she will care and this is after I started watching suicide videos mostly the one of Budd Dwyer and thinking that be me one day because I do not know how long i can feel this way before i can't take more because i am so alone and unhappy that life is not word living this way and I feel that i don't belong any were and that i am repugnant to women but is all in my head and i do not know how to scape it I am 30 years old now and do not have reasons to live for and also i can't sleep well or get pleasure from any activity i am broken inside i do not why or how to fix it and also I do not dream any more and when i do is me the moment of my dead and it wakes me up and I feel my life is being a waste

y this way

Things were all good.My family was happy.We were far away from all our relatives.
I was doing my graduation.I joined in PG .My father took transfer and we came and started living near all our relatives.Then when i was finishing PG,my father had an accident.My marriage was being fixed to our far relative,whom all my relatives apparently knew for 20-30 yrs.MY aspirations to work were brushed aside as ,u can always work after wedding.
But right from day 1 things were anti...from my husband to my in-laws,relatives said,oh-my-god we dint know that they were like that.
So who suffers..in an abusive realtionship,but me and my parents,sister.
its been almost 7 yrs since marriage and we went through a divorce,2 yrs of seperation and then remarriage to the same person as he would cry and beg and say and do all sorts of things to mend the realtionship with me.but again things r the same once we get back.Multiple seperations happened and now i am left with a broken career,and a broken heart,all broken dreams,my family goes through the same.wher was God??where is God still??why did it happen in the frist place..Where is justice??Why does bad win over good.I have accepted defeat,that this relationship will lead no wher now.But what about all the hurt??A person who crushes me and my family ,hurts us in all possible ways lives like a king...is this India?Is this the philosophy of life??Do i have to learn to hurt and cheat people in order to be happy and prosperous and fulfill all my dreams??Whers the end to this story,when will my life be good again.whats the answer to all our suffering?WHat will be the compensation to all the unfair happenings that we had to bear???

I can't change the past.

I googled "i am so lonely" and wound up here. Might as well tell my story.

I'm a 16 year-old guy who lives around people who all think the same way. All they talk about are sports, movies, and everything else that I don't care about. I can't relate with anybody at my school, so I just hang out with people and pretend to be friends with them, just to not look lonely. I feel like a satellite around them. Outside of school, my parents are always busy, and my brother and sister each have their own families to take care of. I play video games because I have no better way to pass the empty hours of my life. I also have a habit of staying up really late, because I really really really don't want to end today and face tomorrow. I don't feel loved.

I learned before my freshman year at highschool that I had aspergher's, and learning this was like learning you have been wrong, all your life. All 15 years of my life, pointless. It changed me like a horrible disease. I used to be outspoken, yet awkward, and now I hardly speak. I see the crowds bantering, and I emphasize with, and envy them. I can't talk with anybody because of my quiet nature, so I don't join in on any conversations with anybody. Sometimes I do complain to my "friends" about how lonely I am, and they simply judge me as "negative", and leave it at that.

During this fall semester, my sophmore year, I have been stuck in really difficult classes. Well, just one difficult class that's ruining m...

I'm done.

I'm 17 years old, and I am so done with life. I feel like I'm such a failure, I'm really not good at anything. I've been playing basketball ever since the 4th grade and it is as if I have not improved at all. Academic-wise I am also terrible, people don't know how hard I actually try but I just seem to suck at everything. People really try hard not to give up on me, but I am a constant dissapointment. My parents spend all this money on putting me in a great school, and I will most likely only make it to community college while the rest of my family expects me to go to prestigous schools... I wish I could have just move far, far away from everyone I know, since I am positive that everyone else's life would be so much more better with me out of the picture. Some people are like "oh she's so badass!" It just pisses me off sometimes because I'm really not!!! It's just some god damn image I put up to cover up all the fucking shit I'm feeling. I could care less if I grow up alone or live isolated from anyone else. My life fucking sucks.

LISTEN

Pity
I feel so empty and sad inside right now. I feel as if there is no meaning to life and that the whole world is just passing me by as I watch. My classmates oh my class mates I look into their faces as they all work so Hard with so much content like working bees. The majority of them has a great life ahead of them and will probably be very successful people while I’m left in the dust. I feel a sort of pity for myself but have no urge to change anything ideas yes but the willing to do so is forever missing. A pit has been dug into my heart and seems to grow deeper and deeper and with growing depth it’s as if my human personality will be enveloped in abyss. I do not deserve a friend or family I don’t deserve to smile I don’t deserve to breath in fresh air I don’t deserve the sun and the sky or the sand and the sea. No I don’t deserve any of these things. The only thing I deserve is an ending. My whole life has been a hoax since the moment I came out of my mother’s whom. It has been filled with lies and hate and pain and suffering not just for myself but other individuals. Maybe it would be easier if I hadn’t been conceived all my being has caused is pain. Yes I am a dope I am a fucking pitiful dope and despite the fact I have strived this far there really is no point I am nearly just another aimless fool with half a mind to spit unwanted words.

Masks
I am a c...

whats my problem

I am obsessed with sex.A 57 year old man I cant get over it.It had always been like this since I could remember.I used to have sexual relations from a very young age onwards.I remember,when most of my friends used to dream wistfully about these acts,I was regularly getting it.But,now it is taking unprecedented turns.Highly dangerous in every sense.I dont want this to continue.I would welcome it if I could lose my sex urge altogether.Till date,I got off without much damage.But if it continues like this I will end up being a fool.
Anyone got any ideas to lose this urge forever.

Poor excuse for a person

I've never had high expectation for my life. I figured, I'd at least scrape out a meager living. I could live with a dead-end job, with no hope of advancement. I could deal with a crap apartment. I just want to be able to take care of myself.

I had a job about 4 months ago, for 2 months. Before that, I had been unemployed for 2 years. I was happy again. I final felt like I could take care of myself. But my employers didn't like my perpetually anxious state. Despite my efforts, I failed them. I wasn't good enough. No one wants a person with so much anxiety, depression and an inferiority complex that just won't quit.

It seems that anytime I start to feel better about myself, like I'm living up to my potential in someway, my confidence gets ripped away from me. It was the same story with school. I feel lucky that I managed to graduate high school.

I'm told "Just get up, dust yourself off and try again". But after you've been kicked down so many times, the whole thing seems like its set up so I can never win.

All I have is my best friend, the love of my life. If I lost him. I would truly have nothing left. It sounds horrible but, I don't think I could go on living without him. I wish I could give him more then just my love. I just have nothing to offer other then that.

Life sucks.

life turned upside down in two seconds

HELP! where to begin i finished high school went to Gary job corps graduated that but could not find a decent job to start my life.... I still have no job! My aunt that I lived with is leaving on Dec. 1 my sister who also lives with us is still in school. My aunt wants nothing to do with us anymore. So we are now homeless with no jobs and no transportation. I have never giving up before but this has taking a toll on us... We don't know where to go or what to do... Just want my life to finaly be on track... Our mom is a recovering drug addict and convict. My dad is out of prison but trying to make it for himmself. My sisters dad is supposedly dead. What do we do? So stressed out.. we have no other family that would help.. this sucks

You think you drink alot??

I know i'm going to do nothing but make myself look bad..but..It's cheaper than therapy... Anyway, here we go. I'm 29 now.. I've been drinking around 7 beers a day for the last year or so now..weekends sometimes much, much more..I admit, I thought it wasn't a big deal at first..I grew up in a loving yet emotionally-detatched family, and beer has always been around me...started drinking when I turned 18 or so...because I was shy and insecure..it was never more than maybe a 12 pack a week..

That might still seem like a lot to some but, I think I really started to lose control after my girlfriend died 3 years ago...I really have never hurt so much in my life, and still do...Since she's been gone, I have completly lost all confidence in myself, I feel so lost without her..the funny thing is, towards the end..We drifted apart..We fought a lot..I never hit her or anything..but the truth is, most of my friends and family didn't think we were good for each other but it didn't matter..I Loved her..you see..she didn't have a family really..she had a fucked-up childhood..and her mom and dad both died when she was young..She always seemed so haunted..but she was Beautiful..

..I saw her in this hospital bed a day before she died with all these tubes going down her throat helping her breathe because she had no brain-activity.....I knew right there...I wasn't going to be able to handle seeing that..So..I talked about it with people..But, the hollowness I felt never...

Why??

I'm 24. Graduated in May. I've been to five interviews and still no job. The last interview I went to, I could of got hired but I made a stupid mistake so someone else got hired instead. And now I'm still stuck at a retail job which I've been at for four years and only get pay a little over minimum wage. I buy all these designers items that make it seem like balling and to satisfy myself but deep down I am not even happy. I'm willing to work but it just seem like no one wants to hire me!! I just feel so ashamed that I have a degree and still work at retail. When I look on Facebook, a lot of my friends have a career. Even some of those who graduated with me have already found a job! And me? Working at a shitty job! I often get red when I'm nervous or when I'm talking to other people. I felt like I chose the wrong major (marketing) because I'm not even outspoken. When will I able to find a job I like and support myself and proudly buy all these nice things because I really DO have the money!

hell on earth

Mere words cannot adequately express just how much I hate my life. Every night before I go to sleep I pray for a quick, painless and easy death, only to wake up bitter, disappointed and even more-so convinced that there is no god, for if there was a god then he's surely a malicious creature who gets off regularly to the torment and suffering of lesser beings. I'm 24 and haven't had a tax-paying job since I was 20, and all the ways I've made money since then have been illegal, unreliable, degrading and stressful beyond belief. Unemployable and with only a few thousand dollars to my name in assets, I'm on the verge of becoming homeless. On top of it all, I've developed an insatiable appetite for weed, alcohol, online poker and world of warcraft (I have 5 85's, 3 of which have experience with HM FL's).

I don't know which I've spent more money on, but needless to say that if I got the cash value of everything I've spent on these habits then I could probably put a down payment on a house. I live alone, I haven't spoken to anyone outside of ventrilo in months, and the last girl I tried to kiss shrieked away in horror as if I was some hideous creature with hostile intent towards her future firstborn. I don't talk to anyone in my joke of a family and I don't have anyone I could call a friend. I'm empathetic enough to acknowledge that these truths may be bothersome for some, but the older I get the less I seem to care about winning the approval of some lowlife degenerate...

I hate my life. I just got fired from my job and I lost my car..I have no friends and my parents are drug addicts and I grew up in foster care. I'm screwed cause I'm completely broke and dependent in my boyfriend. I am so flipping depressed. Everyone around me is happy. Wish I was too.

life just sucks

Hi people, if you're reading this then your life is probably not going so well either. If it makes you feel any better I'm in the same boat. I am depressed, I can't seem to focus at all and life just seems to keep getting worse at every corner. My friends recently abandoned me for their own benefits. I feel distant from my family and no one seems to care these days....As I write this I see that maybe my problems aren't as bad as they seem. At least one person on this earth have it worse than me. Some people in china, africa don't even have internet access. I'll try again tomorrow and if it fails once more, I'll be back to talk some more. God Bless.

A Modern Day Leper

When I was 17, I was on the top of the world. I was one of the Top fifty college football prospects in the state. I was on my way to a big university. Season is almost over and i get real bad sick, hospitalized. Lost almost eighty pounds over he next few months. Scholarship goes out the window. So i end falling in the love at 18, i've never been one to trust anybody and i let my guard down. I go off to college (in same county, still live at home) and by the end of the first semester im ready to marry this girl, one day i have some problems downtstairs so i go to see the doc. Turns out i have a bacterial infection, clamydia, awesome so the girl im bout to propose to gets a train run on her by two of my best friends! and gives me chlamydia! HAHA! so i go on a little depression experiment with drugs then get my life back together. Go back to school, have my own apartment now, have a good job everything seems to be working out. Unfortunately i was still smoking weed at this time, i ride with a buddy so he can pick up some product, he decides to rob the dealer, dealer turns out to be an undercover detective, im in the passenger seat so i go down with a six year sentence also. Spend almost two years in prison. Finally get out, enrolled back in school, meet the most amazing girl i've ever met in my life and i get her pregnant. Im a fucking bum that can't even get a job at the shittiest of places because of my felony. How do i support this baby? No one will give me a chance, and i feel like i've completely ruined her life because she is stuck with me now. I understand why so many people end up going back to prison because in our society, regardless of what you did, if you're a felon, then youre a modern day leper.

Each day gets better than the last...

After getting laid off, from my job of three years, at the suggestion of my father-in-law (I don’t know what I was thinking) my wife, kids and I relocated to Los Angeles (from Atlanta, GA) to work at the family business. The plan was my wife and I would co-manage the warehouse, which I was okay with me because we work well together.

It didn’t quite play out like that. I was a warehouse employee and my wife was the warehouse manager. Whatever, it’s not the first time my father-in-law hasn’t kept a commitment to me. So this time I guess it was “shame on me”, right? But to make matters worse, the shop foreman was a complete prick. Yeah I ended up pretty far down in the pecking order. I think I was a half step up from the cleaning service personnel. My job changed weekly based on whatever whim my father-in-law had, and he has quite a few.

Around the same time my dog, of ten years, died likely from heart failure. When I adopted him he had heartworms really bad. So I guess it weakened his heart. And a week before we moved he was hit by a car (omen maybe?) and dislocated his back leg. He was stoic and so tough he never whined. I didn’t know the severity of his injury till a month later and then it was too late for the vet to fix the damage. I think maybe hobbling along, mostly on his three good legs, may have increased the strain on his heart.

Shortly after that I was diagnosed with Mycosis Fungoides a Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. The kind of cancer that I...

Life has no meaning

I have figured out that there exists no god and no purpose in life. All our lives, we just bust our asses for nothing. The ultimate truth is that there is no truth. AND I figured this out. Why all this pain , Oh god, this craze for love, sex and money? I wanna end it all, not just for myself but for the entire world.