LIFE SUCKS : Abuse

Why my life SUCKS!

My life has allways sucked. I have a big family were poor and everything just sucks.
I was raped at age 6, by my brother. I allways wear the same clothes, ive been wearing the same bra and underwear for weeks! No one in my family really cares about me. I allways get abused and forced to clean. One time my mother beat me to the ground. I get hurt almost everyday by family members for no reason. Im allways hungry and there is never really any food in the kitchen. I hate my life, I almost died because I was choke-ing and no one was there to help me. I actually want to die sometimes. I just cant take it anymore my life sucks really bad.

i'm at the end

I grew up with a dad who hated me and didnt feel bad when he repeatedly told me violence from him and my controllin mother, 15 i was raped on the way home never told a sole untill i was 18 where i told my boyfriend, wish i could have told my sister and parents but was scared i would somehow be blamed!! stupid!!!
kicked out when i was 18 too pathetic for parents to handle.. i was a kid who never went out would get in trouble for not going to the shop for anyone didnt really have friends barely spoke was to shy to say hi to anyone... spent 5 years of my life on my own with only one person who stuck around.. a guy friend had no contact with my family or anyone, been mugged 4 times must have something written on my back or forehead... although i have more confidence now and not so shy i struggle every day to see a point i got help but it jus wasnt for me so quit it and now all thats keeping me alive is the fact that im lookin after my grandad who has dementia i spend all my days alone and it jus really sucks!! cant see it gettin any better so whats the point!

THE_CYCLE_OF_MINDFUCKERY

Born into a typical family. Father was an abusive, porn-watching ass. Mother was a hard-working woman; cheerful. Father got angry, broke her legs. Mother got over it. Father got angry again, trashed the house and cut up all her underwear. Mother got over it.

I was a relatively happy child. I got sick a lot. I still do. I stress my mom a lot. She asks: "Why don't you call your fucking father and tell him you're sick?"

Because I'm scared.

I'm 14, emetophobic (IRRATIONAL fear of vomiting that literally devours me alive, each and every day), depressed, terrible self-image. Father is a hard man to talk to. He is a control-er. A dominate-r. He MUST be right. Arrogant and cynical. Like an elephant, he will not forget. He will mock you, spit in your face, throw water in your face, kick your tail-bone, curse your very name, and then, when his anger subsides, he will be "nice". He fucks with you.

Mother called me fat. Pig. Lazy. Bitch. Whore. Fat, again. I WAS. 135 at 5'4. Went anorexic, sunk into a deep depression and anger with my body. It became an obsession. It still is: 111 at 5'4. Up and down, up and down ... goes the scale.

I still suffer. OCD, too. Thoughts, I need marijuana. I need to run away.

Mother punched me multiple times. I have bruises. Mother whipped me with a stick she picked off the ground during our daily nature walks. I have a scar on my inner right arm.

Friends? Well, they fuck around. They're not friends. They're vain. Stupid. "Stupid, stupid, blah, ahurr, blah..." is what they speak. Living in fantasy. I live in reality.

Life is the same ol' story. The same ol' cycle. You're happy, you're sad, you're happy again. Fucking with your emotions. Mindfuckery.

I get good grades. Worthless letters.

I once believed in God. No longer, so.

BULL

SHIT

Well, Life doesn't suck, but it sure has been a ride.

Who am I kidding. of course it sucks.

I am a guy who was sexually molested by his aunt who was 18 and i was 7 for weeks
maybe months (hard to recall) received no support from family. it's so fucked up I havn't been able to feel love or really not feel grossed out in some way thinking about sex.

My brother hit me in the head with a big meat hook when I was young too and I
think i have had brain damage in the left side of my brain ever since.Sometimes
I'm almost literally retarded.

And then there is the Blindness, So i'm going blind, bad periferal vision and night vision.

But sometimes I don't really see what's to look forward to in this loveless, sexually gross, blind and retarded world.

mr

As a child living in Scotland my family was very poor, we lived as best we could on a diet consisting mainly of haggis. Haggis which we had to catch and kill ourselves or face the wrath of my tyranical father. Even at aged four my father would daily send me up into the hills with my two younger brothers haggis hunting. And if we didn't catch a big enough one? He would beat us to sleep that night with the intestines of the scrawny ones that we did catch. I suppose it was just his way of saying that he loved us, but a cuddle might have been nicer.
I think these experiences have inevitably coloured my entire life, for one thing, I can't stand haggis anymore, and I still flinch everytime I see a string of sausages. Which considering I work in a butchers makes my worklife a living hell.
Not that home is much better, my wife "Mamfa"... before I conitinue I must point out that Mamfa is a pet name, her real name is "Samantha", you see my wife has a cleft pallat and when I first asked her her name it sounded like she said "Mamfa" so it just kinda stuck.
Anyway "Mamfa" has recently left me for an orthadontist and her words just before she slammed that door behind her for the last time, well they still haunt me.
And for anyone out there that might be feeling a bit low, believe me you don't know the meaning of the word pain until you hear your wife of 16 years call you a " shushling ushleh shunt".
TOM c

When is it time to say goodby??

My life for the past 16 years has been complete hell. I married when I was twenty years old. Almost immediatly he started to controll everything that i did. We moved away from my family and friends. One year later we had our first child. Not being able to have friends of my own, thought that it would be ok to go to the beach with his sister, No what I got was the phone slamed to my head.His family looked at me like this was normal behavior. The physical abuse went on for my entire marriage. I have had pillows held over my head until i passed out. Once I was beat 1 hour before i had to start work. That day I went into work with two black eyes and a bloody lip and nose, and handfuls of hair missing from my head. Ten years ago to try to get away from the pain ,i slit my wrist. Many stitches and a week in the hospital for mental observation, was it worth it no.You see my Ex husband is very powerful Sucessfully, and he does know how to works the system. People tend to listen to him, because he is a very smooth talker. He has a way of turning things around to make you look like the bad person, and he has no problem doing this to anyone to get what he wants.. The people that know him including his own family have described him as a ruthless son of a bith. Aside from the physical abuse that i have endured from this Monster. The mental abuse was far worse than anything that I have ever had to go through in my life. This person has made me feel like i am a useless person and whose ...

Life is not nice.

i am gonna make this short:

-been bullied for the past 5 years of my school life.
-no one knew about it.
-my dad is a fucking asshole who spends all his salary on useless pieces of shit.
-just now he got a big fight with my mum (i love my mum so much .. i know people might think i am a loser.. but i love her so much. she sacrificed so much for me...the day she dies i don't what i'll do)
-anyways.. he got a big fight with mum and slapped her.
- i couldn't take his shit anymore so i pulled him off her and told him to get a grip... out of nowhere he punched me in the face BAM!. i was so shocked that my own dad just did that... i stood there just staring at him. he punched me one more time... i fell to the ground and i did nothing. i couldn't believe that my dad was beating me up. i saw him turing around and heading to my mum... at that moment i knew i had to do something.. i jumped on him.. to distract him from her. i took kept backing out of the room making him come towards me because i didn't want my mother to see what was gonna happen between us... i lured him into the next door.. he came in. and i shut the door and locked it. I looked at him and proceeded to punch him in the face nonstop. he was either too slow or didn't believe that his own son was beating the shit out of him. my mum ran down the corridor and tried to open the door screaming.. thinking he was beating me up. the truth is i was massacring him... i felt complete satisfaction. i...

really shit of a life.

I'm 17 was born with a birth defect that at the time my mother did not speak English and i was made in to a girl by a doctor that also made my fake blader.
so as i grew i had know idea that i was really born a boy. then i when i was
6 years old i started to get molested by my father in till i was 10 why i let this happen was because he told me he would murder my family but at same time he crazy and he did abuse my mother and my family and because of that when i was ten my sister called the police when try kill my family. after i told my mother what had been happen to me in years leading to the day but she didn't believe me and kind of went crazy for some time and my family had to go to foster care for some months but i don't think she believes today its kind of sad but the court did and went to jail for a long time.when
i was 10 i was told by mother that was really boy at birth so that really made world a shit hole.also in most of my life i had to have a lot of surgery's so my body under has a lot of scars plus i don't have anything down stairs then after that i was really school stupid and i had diarrhea almost all my life that gets worst every year but after having test done on me doctors say nothings wrong with me .so those two things made drop out school this year and i don't think i can get a ged. and i don't think i can live off of social security benefits and i and most of my family members are ass holes or have a life because their are 9 of us ...

So you realy want th truth?

I'm a 13 year old girl. I got molested by my older half brother when I was 3-7. I told my parents in 3rd grade and they kicked him out. Then my brother started talking to my dad again and my parents decided to let him move back in cause I obveously was just trying to get attion. And they basicly disowned me for * ruining my brothers life*. so, so far Iv been molested, disowned, and my family hates me. Then my parents put me in tharipy cause I'm abviously utterly fucked up, and they tried to put me on happy pills. When they decided the shrink had stolen enough of our money I got to move in to the basement with all the spiders. Now it's 3 years and a attemped sucide later and nothing has changed. Fuck my family I'm moving out!

the world is screwed and so fucked up.

I am a 49 year old male. I had a bad child hood.. I was molested in the 6th grade by all my male class mates. And i was the one that got in trouble with the teacher who spanked my ass for it. and no one else got a paddling that day. Who cares . LOL..... But i went on with life.. then at the age of 13 , 3 of my relatives molested me repeatedly. WHO CARES ANYWAY.
Life is going to hell in a hand basket. So I got married at 19.. thinking this would fix things.. then i found out i could not father kids.. WHO CARES anyways.. mean vicious little bastards and bitches.. Then after 8 years , my wife left me.. she now has about 15 young-uns. I still love the women even though we divorced many years ago.. WHO CARES ANYWAYS.. we are all doomed.. AND you think you have problems.. then after years pasted.. I had learned that all my best friends either commited suiside. and one, he was really fucked up.. he had molested all his daughters.. bad man.. go directly to HELL do not pass pergatory at all... then as time passed i started doing the swinging thing.. men ,women it did not matter.. well that brought on many more mental strains over the years.,.WHO CARES anyways.. i also have to add during all this i spent most of my years going to church.. wondering if god really existed.. and of coarse all of us know deep in side he does.. we question his motives.. LOL.... but who cares anyways. He is going to send us all to hell anyways.. because the b...

Anguish

I am living at the edge of Hell. The bare brink of insanity but yet enough to keep my sane. The bare minimum of torturing until my mind shatters from agony. My brother and sister died before I was 7. My drunken failure of a stepdad use to rape and abuse my mom. I didn't get it as bad as my mother because she always stepped in eventually we dropped everything and ran away. I didn't learn english or come to america til I was already in 3rd grade. I've been to 6 highschools throughout my life and it ended with me dropping out. I was abandoned by my mother once and sent to a relatives house to live for 15 months. It felt like nobody believed in me and my relatives all treated me like I was a burden. It was hard making friends when you are constantly moving. I was expelled in middleschool for 'selling weed' even though I was holding it for a friend which is my fault I suppose. Girls approach me with half hearted offers of love only to find new boyfriends and further show me how alone I am. I see people everywhere living normal and happy lives. Its hurts so much. I curl up in a ball and cry until I fall asleep clinging and praying to god for help. There is no God. I've already tried to kill myself but couldnt go through with it. I am always being compared to my older brother. He gets good grades, he works a decent job. I DONT GIVE A FUCK. Im not him. I never knew my real father and I dont really care, just add it to the list of crap. I wish I could disapear. I only see all the negative things now, where did things go wrong, Why me? I am 20 years old now, a dropout, a virgin, jobless, living at a friends house, addicted to cigarettes and living at the edge of hell.

Life bites

My dad was an alcoholic who beat me amd my mother. They divorced after 13 years of marriage and my dad had his girlfriends here and there but remarried when I was 15..They got married on my birthday...My step mom kicked me out when I was 16..I got pregnant with my first daughter and while I was 5 months pregnant her father comitted suicide...then after I gave birth to her my dad and his wife took her away from me and raised her as their own...She didnt find out the truth about me until she was 11.. She is 18 now and has no desire to want to know me or see me....I didnt talk to my dad for 15 years. Then I found out through the internet that he was in prison...I went to go see him and found out that he was in prison for trying to kill his wife. My husband and I got him out with my aunts help and he lived with us for over a year while he was going through his divorce and his trial for attempted murder...He became real stupid and accusing my husband and I of stupid crap and my middle daughter..he called me cuss words infront of my son and told my husband that I wasn't his daughter...I no longer talk to him and Im not close to my mother...I have family that lives less then 2 blocks from me and NEVER comes to see me..my mother has only seen my other 2 children maybe 2 or 3 times in their life...I have a dead in job thats going no where...Disrepectful children who refuse to mind and always fight with each other...My husband cares more about his job than he does our marriage...I battle with depression and I have even attempted suicide....my sister is a prostitute who is heavily into drugs and my brother lives in another state and I have not talked to him since I was 15....This life sucks !!!!!!

Mine Too

I'm going to get right to the point. I'm thirteen so I apologize for the grammer and spelling.

-My mom left me and my little brother 6 years ago.
-Dad is a drunk.
-Dad is abusive.
-Sister ran away 2 years ago. (She would be 16 now)
-Best friend attemped suicide.
-I already dropped out of school.
-Pregnant with a child of rape. (He will be born on May 7)
-Living in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house.
-Dad lost his job.
-No other family to move in with.
-I cut myself.
-I am always getting beat up by my neighbors.
-I hate myself.
-Dad calls me a slut, whore, ect.


Now you know.

Who can ever know?

My life sucks hardcore. my granma just died and im wresling with the fact that im addicted to alcohol and drugs. i take drugs to forget that my brother sexualy abused me for six years and now is physicaly abusing me. i have to move out in two months, my ex is harrasing me im thinking about dropping out of school because im pregnant. oh did i mention that im only 15? i might just end it all. FFFFFUUUCCCKKK you life and those who broght me into it

fuck this life!

I'm a Chinese American 18 years old high school senior,I was born back in china, and now after some shithole decision my parents made I'm stuck here with my abusive mother with her financial problems....yea shes in debt, and worst of all, it's because of me coming here(she blame of course me, but I never decided to come here, she did), and she can never get over this thus I end up miserable everyday with a scarred body and a scarred mind, she calls me stupid and a liar, which were both false, I'm an straight A student and never really lies, sometime I wish I could clearify things, but when i did she'll punish me by saying I'm psychologically unstable, no wnder my stepdad is trying to leave her. yea, my famly's divorced for 17 years, my father remained in china and my mother here, and both of them got remarried, so I have 2 dad and two moms, and worst of all, they're all breaking up again, now I'll have 8 parents, fml.the breaking up is the easy part, but that they empty all their angers on me, blaming me to be the devil that caused all bad things, and tell everyone that, I tried to maintain my reputation as the ideal student(I had been almost-captain for football team and the class president in different period of times my time in highschool as well as maintaained a straight A grade, 4.0GPA and 2300 SAT. and I cared a hell alot about my reputation), but their stupidity always broke that up and I ends up as the laughing stock because of my stupid family, sometime I just wish all of them die!

whatever...

hi,
i had a rather good childhood until my mother started psychologically abusing me when i was 13. She was on meds for years. She was yelling, screaming and violent.

When i was 16 my father got sick, he had a brain disease and was irrational and a danger to himself and others (he might turn on the oven thinking he was turning on the light)... my mother took good care of him until she snapped and started beating him. When i was 20 my father died, and then my mother got depressions.

I was not allowed to cry about my father's death because she said i did not go every day to the hospital to see him. Then she started having problems that i had a boyfriend and was calling him names.

For 2 years I could not go out of the house anymore except to go to university. i had to call her all the time to let her know where i was or else she would call me crying, telling me "i thought u died".
She was getting dizzy when i wanted to go out with friends, so i was not going out ever, i was just sitting with her watching TV every night.

Once i came home and she was sitting in her room pointing a gun at her heart... all the time she was telling me she would commit suicide and did not accept any help.

After that episode she went to a mental hospital for 2 weeks and came back better. Then she went and got the first drunk who crossed her way. He was really constantly drunk, a chain smoker, and in a matter of 3 weeks he came to live at our ho...

Super sucks

I am 28 years and have a graduate degree. I am incrediably lonely. I have no friends. The only time I speak to another human is when I am at work. I was molested when I was a child by my grandfather. I told my mother and she told me not to tell anyone - and to stay away from him next time we visited. After she told my father, my father's response was that I was a damn liar and just looking for attention...I guess I used to be attractive when I was in college. I was slipped the date rape drug three times. Only once did I have friends that noticed and helped me home. One of the pervs was my cousin in law (my aunt married someone who had a son is his mid twenties). Since I didnt have any boyfriends in college I wasnt on birthcontrol so guess what I got pregnant. I didnt keep the abomination. I never tell anyone about these things because it makes me physically ill when I think about them and I have never been able to say it outloud. Plus, I would be ashamed to have anyone know about all these sick things. I have never in my life had an orgasm. I absolutely hate sex. My only friends and the only ones I speak to are my cats.

Fuck life

I've been in placment since i was five years old. I was abused when i was four years old. my life was messed up by dss. i could have gotten adopted but i was placed in treatment facilities. i am gay people make fun of me. to the point i want to commit suicide.

true story

im a 27yo man. i first learnt my father was a pedophile having sex with my sisters when i was 8. he found out i knew shortly after. he beat on me every day, one time hanging me with the kettle cord wrapped around my neck when i was 10. my mother fled the country with the lover she had met and took my youngest sister with her when she was 8. my eldest sister was moved into my fathers bed. she fled the country 7months later. my second eldest sister took her place in the bed. one time he got her pregnant and it was put to me by him to make the descision to keep it or not. the only time i know i deffinetly made the right descision which was NO. i feel shameful to this day that i used it to a degree as a bargaining chip to let my father know i still smoked. i was 15 at the time. i could not leave though i knew i was not welcome there and i raised myself from the age of 14. leaving my sister to that existance alone was not an option, so i stayed. ive had my nose broken a few times, fingers broken, a cracked skull even. my sister to ease her existence accepted her lot in life acted the dutiful "wife" until she grew to old for my father. this was when she was 21 and i was 19. i developed an aggresive drug addiction at the age of 21 when i couldnt handle being so unhappy with the way my life had gone so far. i was an isolated person who knew that everyone i looked at (barring my sisters) had it better than me, no matter how bad they infact thought they had it. i was smoking a 1/4 ...

till death gives us peace

Hi people of the the trying times .... I wish I knew where to begin ....I guess the beginning?
Born second child of one fucked up dysfunctional fam....my Granddad started sexual abusing my sis and I while we were infants. Worse then that my police detective father was aware of it all. And what apiece of work that man was. His sadism knew no limits the pain ninflicted on mysister and my self was heinous to say the least. I don't believe I can put it into word ...I shake and tremble at sharing those depravities. needless to say Life spent hating and living in contemp of yourself can be quiet the story. But how to tell it how to put into print all that evil, hate, injustis I want to just throw up right now . can we righht more later here ??