LIFE SUCKS : Abuse

My story with hope!

I have never come across any sites like this before where I can just write honestly about me and read plights of lonliness and anguish of others so thanks for this oppportunity whoever created it.

Truthfully I am lonely too. It's xmas day and i am wondering what to do with my life. Mid life crisis springs to mind. I am employed as a manager and live in a 1 bd flat alone. I'm a 35 yr old single gay guy that carries on regardless of what life throws at me.

I hope to share a summary of my life/childhood (to whomever reads it) with the hope to urge and inspire other fellow lonlely lost souls to not give up. (I suppose it is also my way of reaffirming this hope to myself and getting it all out of my system!)

Like many of us, I had a crappy childhood, mainly messed up by 13 yrs of sexual abuse by an uncle which I took to court when I was 15(The abuse is NOT the reason I'm gay by the way.... I believe it's because of genetics and nothing else) and parents that gave me a rough start in life with beatings from my mother (Who was raped and convinced the scum is my father so she constantly called me ugly) and my father gave me a very hard time for the trauma I presented to his wife who later became diagnosed with schizophrenia. This family dragged my brothers and I up on a grotty council estate where we were always picked on. I had a lot of fights growing up which was to protect myself. I loathe violence and do my best to prevent it though we can't refr...

why me

I was born into a dysfunctional family
Iv been mentally and physical abused up
Intill the age for 12 at that time my parents where
Divorce for 4 years I have three brothers one older two younger
I was currently under the care of my father
My mother never came to really see us for she had really
Bad 13 teen year marriage with my father
So anyways when I was under the age of. 12
I was forced to clean and never leave the house one day I didn't clean
Up right I think I forgot to pull out a
wall unit and my father kicked me out at the age of 12
I grabed my shoes and left
I found my alcoholic
Mother and started to live with her
It took me three days to find her
FRom there I went in to a very poor life
Picking cigg buts off the ground
And never no where your going to
Be living nex
When I was 14 I went in to excor sex for money
It was time we where getting kicked out
I droped out of school to make money
I was in to very hard drugs mixing from 12 15years old
I quit the drugs and sex shit and went to move in with my now 32 year old boyfriend anyways thing haven't been easy with him I'm now 19 no job I have four abortions and I'm still trying to hang on come feb I go bad to school I'm in debt and un happy.but I'm trying

can't get ahead

well i guess it started when i was 3, my dad tried to stab my mom with a steak knife. He went away for attempted murder. My mom struggled to raise 5 kids. We lived outta our car most of the time.Then when I was 10 my mom who was an alchoholic went out and was killed by a guy, for spilling a beer in his truck. Then, I went into about 10 foster homes, where i was beaten and locked in my room.I lucked out and was adopted by a nice family. I dropped out of school and worked in masonry. at night i went to school for 3 years, then i became a pipefitter and everything was good. felt like i made it. This economy hit, and I lost it all. My apartment, my Jeep, and had to live in the woods for 3 months.Then had to move into a trailor on my brothers property, and everyday i get outta bed and go look for jobs that just aint there. I try the internet, word of mouth, newspapers, just nothing.I have been diagnosed with ADD, OCD, and also insomnia, and once emotionally disturbed.cant sleep, dont wanna eat,dont wanna get outta bed. I remember saying to myself "if i kill myself then whose gonna take care of my dog"?Dog saved my life.

bah u think your life sucks

All my troubles started when i was 3 years old..I was sexually abused as a child for 9 yrs by my uncle and as a result i was doing badly at school.My mum had married this bloke when i was a baby and he used to beat me daily for the smallest things eg:makin coffee to hot,at the age of 5 (id get it poured back over me and then beaten.)also for bad grades at school,just abt everything.i got to the age of 13 and finally had enough courage to stand up and say no more im leaving and left with my mother.many years went by as i tryed to control my anger and frustrations with the world.I finally grew to the age of 19 when i got my firsts job.I was driving a forklift when one night i rolled it and was stuck under the side...long story short there goes my health..i sustained a broken neck shattered pelvis and crushed legs.theyre goes my sport of cycling.my g/f and child left me cause i was injured and couldnt provide for them,wich also now i havent seen in 10 yrs.Later i found anouther g/f,have been with her for 9 yrs now,but recently lost my second child to medical complications..my question is does this crap get any better or is it jus the same heart-ache ova and ova...the world is a fucked up place and not for me..

my life is going down the drain =(

i'm Bella i'm from sydney aus
when i was 12 dad had become a heavy drinker he wouldn't stop for anyone
the drug's and the grog came before me and my younger sister
my mum found a guy on the net from portland usa
she left a note at our head's one night saying she's left us for this guy
2 years later se came back into our lives in that 2 years i had t put up with verbal abuse drug's and grog around me and my little sister
i had to stop going to school and moher my sister
when i thought this was going to be the worst of my life it just got WORSE
as i couldn't handle the drug's and the grog coming before me i'd stayout all hour's of the night just so i didn't wan to go insane for that little while
but that plan of going out all hours of the night came crashing down whn i turned 16 one night when i stuck to my plan i got raped my dad found out he told me i deserved it after trying to move on with my life my dad got a girlfriend she seemed so nice at fist but then it came to massive fight's one month she's nice the next she's trying to fight with me or trying to get rid of me and my sister =( as i was dealing with her crap my mum got hit by a car
she had a broken knee she started getting on all this morphine i just sat there watchingmy mum go from a brght smart lady to a dull grumpy morphine addict
my dad finally got his life together stopped the grog for my step mum
he is now a teacher my dad andmy step...

SUCKS

My dad ran over my mom with his truck.. HE was always beating her up and he beat his son at the age of 3 with a waterhose. He confronted my brother because he was using the phone and my brother and he hit him and kept hitting him. My brother was all beat up with blood. The good thing they got divorced but after 20 years of marriage. I dont know how my mom survived it all the violience all the beatings.

Why Am I Even Alive

I was molested as a kid, I've been physically and mentally abused my whole life even witnessed my mother getting abused as a little kid. I'm 24 years old living in a shitty ass rooming house that has roaches. If I didn't get disability I would be homeless. My father is an asshole who was never there for me financially, my mothers boyfriend was physically and mentally abusive, mother didn't give a shit she put him over me. I live alone with no friends but I do have associates. I can't find a girlfriend the girls I do meet are fuckin treacherous and pathetic and never seem to work out. I spend my days smoking weed and newports, which I'm trying to quit but it's hard as fuck. My family is dysfunctional as hell. They try to help out but they wind up being useless & worthless and nothing EVER goes my way. Society won't give me a chance and I feel trapped and lost. I pray to God but it seems he just watches and lets me suffer day n and day out. It's freezing cold in my room and the land lord will not get his rent until he gets me a heater. I've told him to get me one he said he would but he keeps bullshitting and he has millions, a fuckin rich slumlord. I have small ass refridgerator that doesn't freeze anything so I can't really cook anything, I have to cook noodles and eat out mostly. I'm going back to school in January so I can give my life some type of meaning, but theres nothing worst then this cursed ass hopeless life. I've seen miracles in my life but it seems right now I'm shit out of luck. I wonder why I'm even alive. I think about death all the time. If I wasn't such a coward I would end my life but then I would spend eternity in hell. I feel that God hates me so much it's not even funny. I been in and out of the psychiatric hospital. I have trouble sleeping most of the time. It's just a damn shame.

Tired

I have always been a happy go lucky person, the sun always would shine for me.
Truth is I was sexually molested by my father up until I was 7, and then by a family friend when I was about 8. I have been fortunate to find a therapist who is fantastic. Finally found a man who gave me an orgasm at 32, but who turned out to be a self centered jerk. We have two kids who treat me like their father, dirt. Life treats me like dirt. Everyone treats me like dirt. Feel like dirt.
The sun does not shine for me anymore. What hurts the most is the children.
They use me. I am tired. Really tired. I think I am done.

Tough bumps

Ok before i start off with my story i would want to say im only 19,so i dont see the purpose of life, i had an abusing childhood, i was forced to not go to college and death threat by one my family members, the most horrible very dysfunctional family,and really an abusive family, My mother and father have been fighting and going at it since i was 7, i was raised to be a weakless duckling. I have no force,anymore i cant hold on the rope anymore, i have to let go of my life, my life is been raised wrong. Just someone please, i feel trapped. I just want to go to heaven where things come right. What did i do to deserve all of this??im not a devil child. I was raised to be weak but i will not let go of my full heart.

Seaxually asssult ed by my stepfather

My father died when I was six. When I was my mother got married to a amn I felt uneasy about. One my mother had to work late. he cam in to my and pulled the cover off of em then he took omy night gown socks and panties and he raped. He if i tell my mother some bad things would happen to me. I believed it. He raped until I was 16. When he rape me a age th e of 16 I hit him hard and I blooied his nose and I told if he tried that agai I would kill him and heard every word of what I said so I told what he did and what he just he jus tried to do. My devorced him and my believed me. She took to the doctor and a therpist. She even told the police. He has been aressted becuase nothing was found on me nothing on my clothes bra or panties. I am now 20 and in medical school I hope that he doesn't marry some with duaghter becuase he would poosibly do it again and that will ruin her life. i took away my childhood and I lost virginity at young age.

Why The FUCK am i STILL HERE!

When i was 7 i was raped several times by my mother, father and my brother. im 16 and have had atleast 14broken bones because of my parents beating me and they did nothing about it. im mexican and attending a mexican high school and i am constantly called a beaner and other racist names. when i turned 21 i was kicked out of my house and my mum and dad got a restraining order against because i saw someone about the abuse and they were fined. when i was 23 i asked my mum for money and my dad choked me for a while. at age 25 i started stealing to keep up with my drug addiction. Now i have been caught stealing a car and served 1year in jail. i got out and was depressed. i hated myself and attemped to kill myself several times FML.......

Why am i still alive?

Life Sucks, Damn Straight.

Well lets see...
Last year, when I was 14, my (now ex) boyfriend sexually harassed me. HE would shove his hands (and finger) places where I didn't want them and wouldn't let me resist. Then when I broke up with him he made my life hell by blaming me for his depression and how he waqs suicidal.
Then another guy decided he'd tell me about how he was suicidal and also blamed me.
I started cutting myself In January. And since last August I have had an eating disorder where I only eat dinner and throw it up straight after.
I havn't told anyone any of this before.
I get called good looking by guys ad some girls, but to myself I see a fat ugly biyatch.
Up until this year I have always been the nerdy straight-A chick. Now my teachers tell me I dont put any effort in, am not enthusuastic, need to improve. No one gets that I don't give a f***! I have other stuff going on in my life and I'm still decently passing so why bother?
My family have tight as rules and I'm not allowed out after 6pm unless I'm with friends and supervised by an adult my parents know. Im 15 for gods sake I think I can look after myself.

I don't know why I'm so f***ed up thats why I almost want to be raped or something to have an excuse.

I can't see myself living after high school unless I become a cop. My parents don't want me to become a cop because I 'am too smart for that.' They don;t get that I can do what I want.
I would kill myself, but I don't wanna die fat. 99lb is too fat.

Life Sucks.

My best friend got abused by a sex pervert

My best friend had a terrible relationship with someone who she thought was decent and a high-flyer. He made her do so many perverted things and now he has destroyed her because she found out that he is doing the same thing with other women, at least 3 other women.

My friend was always cheerful, helpful, trustworthy, dependable but she recently tried to commit suicide over this piece of shit who is dangling some smutty pics of her as blackmail. Do not ask what he is blackmailing from her - it's just too horrible to describe but my friend feels she has no choice.

Both our lives are just ruined but I now want to fight bad. How can I get even with this evil bastard (he is german)? He is such a slimy piece of shit but he works quite high up in the telecoms business and looks so respectable.

what a sad life

I have that sucks family
my father is not educated well , the way he deal with people is totally different combaring with us .
He is use Violence against my mom mostly , he do not rspect th family member pravicy
in fact , he once stool my money after he hits me because I leave the home for just 2 houres

and that how life sucks

My life always sucked.

Well, where do I begin.
My father was an alcoholic. He abused my mother and me. He once beat me to the point I stopped breathing. I was dead for about a minute. Nobody knows if he raped me because my mother worked 3 jobs and I was alone with him. Than one day he decided he's gonna try to kill my mother. I had to watch him choke her and punch her in the stomach.
We moved after that. My mother got tired of him beating us. And just when I thought it was over. My father gets out of jail and starts stalking us. He tried to kidnap me.
My mother married another abusive man. He use to tell me I'm a stupid Bosnian bitch and a piece of shit. He was an alcoholic too. For years, all I heard was screaming and shouting. My mother has mental breakdowns every few years because of the stuff she went through. So one day she told me to go kill myself.
So I took a bunch of pills and my step-dad the damn alcoholic didn't say anything just watched me swallow a bunch of pills. Doctors told me I have severe depression, OCD, anxiety, anger problems, and severe mood swings. I'm only 13 but doctors told me my brain is that of a 17 year old.They also told me that i don't remember my abuse or rape because my brain shut down, and one day its gonna open up and I'm gonna see all them bad memories.
& a few months ago my brothers friend sexually assaulted me. I have horrible self esteem. I act like a slut to get attention sometimes because I can't get it any other way.
And that's not even half of it.
Yeah, all this in only 13 years of my life. My life sucks.

TIME DESTROY'S EVERTHING

I'm 28 yrs old. male. Growing up I was sexually molested by cousins, a "friend", and even a neighbor. I was only about 6 or 7 at the time so I didn't really understand what was going on until I got older..Anyways..The last several years of my life have been bad. I had a girlfriend that I loved so much even though she was a pill-addict probably slept around to get more..all I wanted to do was "fix" her, because I figured if I could do that, It would give my life some purpose and becaused I cared. She ended up dying in 2008 from an overdose. We met in 2005. after that, I've felt hollow and stuck and alone...But I learned NOT to complain, stop feeling sorry for myself,stop the crying and live my life the best I can..you know, being optimistic. Since that point, life keeps getting harder and shittier by the day almost..My mom is crazy, She's been in and out of hospitals for the past several years now..she NEVER used to be this way until after my parents got a divorce after 38 years. Now, between me,my older brother,and older sister, we constantly have to take care of her..running out in the middle of the night to help her start her car, or to meet her somewhere during the day to jump her car,then she takes off and never calls and then says she doesn't have my number..when she clearly does, she's called it many times before. We have to buy her groceries even though she has food stamps and money to buy her own but for some mysterious reason it keeps disappearing. And the answer...

who am I ?

I was taken from my biological parents at the age of three. The courts took me because someone in my family was abusing me. The year my country took me from my family, they adopted a flag. For two years I was sent from home to home, before the children's aid society noticed this was effecting me mentaly and decided to place me quickly and without care. I was put with a family, who molested/raped/sexually assaulted,humiliated, physically abused and racially descriminated me, on a regular basis. I was moved around from school to school, this family owned a lot of land up North as well as in West Ontario, they moved me from town to city on a regular basis, the adoptive mother, was a school teacher, and would teach me when we traveled to different countries. I was raped over seas shortly after I turned thirteen, on one of the boat cruses these parents took me on, when we came back to Canada, my parents gave me back to the system, and I was locked up till I was fifteen, for being raped over seas. The system gave me back to them just before my fifteenth birthday, these parents had moved to the city and sold there property up north, shortly after getting out of training school I was druged and raped again. These parents apparently baught the negatives from my abuser but never pressed charges against him. As soon as I was sixteen, they divorced and I have lived independantly ever since. I am older now and find it near impossable to contain my pain any longer, I know now, I was never cared for by my country, because brown skined people didn't matter then and they don't matter now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This.. Is my life.

I'm 15 years old, and I have never experienced freedom. When I was 8 years old, My grandfather raped me. He bruised what bliss I had. And this continued for years.. Or till I turned 12. He'd get my other grandfather and even my uncle to join in. I still remember ir all vividly. I was about 10. I thought it would be over, because both of my grandfathers died, And my uncle had a son with his new wife. But everytime he comes over,or visits, I think about it all over again. How I never got to this age with my innocence. I felt dirty, And helpless. I hate seeing him to this very day, Always. How he smiles like it never happened, and pretends to care if I'm okay or not. My mother ad father conceived me when my mom was 14, and my dad was 16. She gave birth to me at 15, And my Dad left me then. Not 3 years later, she had my brother, Whom I had to take care of while she struggled to keep her job. Then she had my sister, and my brother, and my brother, and my sister. I learned to change a diaper at 5 years old. I learned how to clean a house at 6. My mother is almost never around, because once se gets her check she flees to escape this dreadful life. I take care of my siblings almost every day. School is a struggle for me, But It's the only escape I have left. I met my dad 10 years after I was born, but he never visits. All he does is complain that he has to pay child support. My mother falsely sent me to an Asylum, and so I have a record there. With actual criminally insane peop...

Horrible life.

My life was good until the year of 2004. Then everything started to change.
I was raped. But never told anyone about it. Me and my family were kicked out of our house because we couldnt pay the rent. We were homeless for 6 months! I get abused almost everyday.
My boyfriend recently broke up with me for my best friend! FML. I want to die sometimes, i cry myself to sleep wishing that someday, somewhere, someone will rescue me from my miserable lonley life. I remember wanting to die so bad I randomly started swallowing a bunch of medicine but my brother stopped me. All of my friends are pretty much fake. Sometimes I wonder if God is real.

Whatever Can Go wrong will...

Where to start.... hmmm I am a 16 year old girl... when i was much younger me and my brother were taken from my mom by my real dad and were abused badly by him. He was an alcoholic... In fact everytime he drank things got worse... During this time my mom and dad(step) were trying to find us... Thank god they got us back or we would have been dead... around 2 years ago when I was in 8th grade My grandpa came to live with us... He was abusive verbally, Mentally, and emotionally... He loved to play mindgames...Me and my mom were the ones he went after the most and we stood up to him the most and finally he left... After he left he started saying really bad crap about our family because he was disturbed... Not so bad right?? During this time I was dealing with alot... A really good family friend had just freakin died... ( my first funeral was 4th grade)... Fast forward to this year... During spring break I met the most amazing guy ever!The day after I met this guy I fiund out a friend that i have known for 8 years (since 2nd grade) Commited suicide...I still miss him terribly... Oh and the guy had a girlfriend and lied to me about it... And I lost my bff of 4 years because of her bros psycho gf...