LIFE SUCKS : Health

I'm 25 years old. I'm a college graduate. I made As and Bs. I intended to be a counselor. It has been almost one year (July) since I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease. My immune system is attacking my brain. I am currently on medicine that hurts so bad to take. It leaves spots all over me. Every day I wake up and wiggle my toes just to make sure I still can. It's scary knowing you have a potentially debilitating disease that affects the most important things. My thinking, my legs, my arms, my sight, being able to swallow and breathe. I've had a relapse since my initial diagnosis. It wasn't my eyes like it had began with (optic neuritis) but it was my balance. I started getting vertigo and nausea. I've since recovered but I've been noticing patches on my foot that are numb. Not my whole foot... Just patches? This is so hard to talk about. My family and most of my friends are idiots and do not get it. They throw their sympathy at me like it's fucking confetti. I don't want it. I feel broken.

I use to cut myself so I have scars all over my body. I quit when I was a teenager. Now scars mean sobering much different to me. Since my diagnosis knowing that I have lesions (scars) on my brain and spinal cord makes me look at my arms and cringe. I'm full of scars.

Im ready to get off this fucking ride

Im not here to whine or have anyone feel sorry for me.. I just wanna let someone know why Im getting of this ride called life. My childhood was pretty bad, Dad was a drunk,beat my mom all the time. I still remember hearing her screaming as he beat the hell out of her pretty regular.. I was about 5 at the time... Mom wasnt much of a mom. I was unhappy most of my childhood,yeah I drank,did dope all that. ran off when I was 14,lived on the streets,stole lied ,cheated,sold my body, whatever I had to do to survive. Joined the army at 17,couldnt,wouldnt follow orders so the threw me out. I worked made decent money, was doing ok for a few years than i got hurt on the job, messed up my back bad. couldnt walk for over a year. I was 28 years old. Then the surgerys started & the doctors,pain meds,depresion.. long story short, I am now 45 years old. Divorced twice, no kids. Been disabled over 15 years. Stuggling but getting by. Now im 45,in constant pain,cant work,walk much,or have much of a sociasl life. Doctors say that as I get older It will get worse. Say I will be in a wheelchair.possibly in diapers & In Pain. Well I think I have gottin the shitty end of the stick all my life but I tried to carry on & did so for many years.. I dont blame anyone. Its just the way it is.. But now the ride of life is making me sick. All I see ahead is alot of pain & having someone wipe my ass for me. I think I will pass on that part. So to all who read this, I just want to say, In my opinion I bel...

Help me please help

Hi my life suck's bacaues I been living with a learing disabilty all my life. I am now 31 years old and I cant hardly,read,write,constrate or do any thing right. I been on a hundred job interview and cant get a job due my learning disabilty. I have pains in my lower pelvis and I dont have insurance to find out why I hurt all day and night. My mom was a single mother with 6 kids. She was bitter all the time becaues she had no man nor money. All my sisters and brothers was tired of her yelling and the bettings so they moved out,but they forgot one thing me!!!By my sisters and brothers beenin older they moved so she just took it out on me.. Growing up suck and with a learning disabilty it was hard. Everybody went off to college and started a family well me I got a man who was drunk and reminds me everyday how I am slow. He knows all my weakness and he use them against me. He see me trying to get a good paying job but see me get turn down so he's tired of being the bread winner. I dont know what am going to do with my life and on top of that I just found out my sister has stage 4 cancer. She had just adopted a baby name LIlly and we love her so much. I need to find a full-time job but I help my sister with the baby most of my day. The state pay me 8.oo to help but I have two kids of my own and I dont like getting paid for helping my sister, I rather do it for free. The Doc cut her open 3 times and everytime her illness got wrost. All we can do is leave it up to GOD so I pray...

what next? nothing

I am 55 years old, disabled (multiple sclerosis), job made redundant last year ... my parents are long dead as are both my siblings ... I was married for 15 years (no children), left North American to move to England to marry an Englishman who after 5 years (while I struggled to get my divorce) dumped me because of my illness. Since then I have had an on / off relationship with a successful business person who only seems interested in me for sex. That is now definitely off as it makes me feel less than I know I am. It is Easter and I am alone. No family, no friends here in England as it is a very closed society especially to women with no jobs, money or grand homes. If I could afford the vet bills I would get a cat so at least I would have something liking to speak with ... sigh.

When I became disabled, killed myself when I lost my job after 12 FMLA ended, Family making me want to do it again.

I worked in severe pain, on a physically demanding job, for 20 yrs.
Doctors never x-rayed me. Finally, when I could no longer raise my legs more than a few inches, I went to a specialist. I had bad hips, needed a new right one asap, the other in 1-10. I had no help, so stayed in a nursing home afterwards and fended for myself afterwards, when no one offered me any help w/tasks at home. When my 12 week Government Family Medical Leave ended, I tried to go back to work. The first task wasinspecting another Huge Truck that salts interstate highways, w/underneath snow plow. I had to climb up the ladders, on both sides quite a few times, checking on arrival for damages, it's equipment against the order, fueling and parking. It was so painful, knew I could never do my job again. For 2 weeks co-workers tried to cover for me, but to no end. The 3rd. Monday I told them the truth.
I was "Let go".
I told my boss, I could not go home; didn't know what I would do; sat in the parking lot trying to slit my own throat, but didn't, as skin is a lot thicker than it looks in the movies, would have taken a major effort on my part to do it correctly and not have someone there save me in time. I stayed until one of my last co-workers told me to go home, it would be alright. I did, it wasn't.
The gloom I felt was overwhelming, knowing I would never work or be around people again. I prepared to die, took all kinds of medications given to me for pain and to help me slee...

One more to the suckness group i guess

I hate my life and always have...I have the word luck ever and on top of it people always used me...
ok lets start the story of my crappy life.
i born with a condition on my femur. when a baby undertook so many surgeries to try fixing it. that was one of the rare luck things that ever happened to me because today i can walk.. need to wear something on my shoes like half inches higher but no big deal.
Never met my father, never asked about my father to anyone either. so never had a father figure to show teach me things..
been bullied all my life because of my problems.
went to shrinks and all that crap...
ok now when i was around 20 i had my 1st internet dating because i thought i was too ugly to get a normal girl so i actually always tried to be with other ugly girls because i never thought i could get a pretty girl.
Im the skinniest and probably the weakest guy in the planet. i never did PE classes or went to the gym so i got no muscles at all.. i always tell people i like being that way.. but to tell you the truth because im so skinny and weak im too shy to go to the gym and change my self.
So after some relationships over the years i figured i could actually have a nice looking girlfriend.. i really have no clue what they see in me.. because i think im ugly as fuck... i had friends over the years and lots friends too.. because i cant be bothered even talking to them... i rarely go out of the house.. i hate talking to people im so shy,,...

I believe most of these posts are from the u.s I'm in the UK don't take this the wrong way i love the u.s I'm half American I'm now 20 years old and life overall seems completely pointless I'm constantly paranoid of other people I'm horrified of talking to any one as I can't trust myself not to lie the hid my miserable life when spoken to, my throat chokes up and I never or barely manage to force a stutered answer. I feel like I'm on drugs all the time when I've never even seen or use any drugs. I've tried suicide 3 times now and I can't bring myself to try again. I have no job and never had one before I've been offered one before but my parents stopped me before my first work day I have no self esteem, confidence, people skills, social life, physical strength, I suffer from depression, asthma and mental breakdown I have no finances though I'm told by my parents when they have a go at me I have around £3000 or more yet I've seen no proof of this. I've no one to talk to I'm mental outstarted and disrespect by my siblings and at one point I snapped under pressure nearly beating my 14 yearly sister who have a bitchy attitude towards me. when I was a child I was retarded and ignorant of every thing around me and I fully aggre that ignorance is bliss i would gladly go back to my childhood at least I was happy then now this seems like a dream from long ago god I so badly wish I was making this shit up but in a nut shell my life is FUCKED UP what can I do? I've tried reading countless books on confidence and improving life and it doesn't help the only thing I ever seem to nowadays is compare my life to everyone else.

life really does suck.

I'm not the type to whine and complain about how hard I have it because I know others have much worse issues.

I have atypical depression, bipolar disorder, and social anxiety. These all started developing around my grandpa's death, back in 6th grade who was my father figure until the day he died. I'm going into my sophomore year of highschool and things have just snowballed.

for a long period of time, food was my only friend. which explains being overweight now. It's all one big chain reaction.
Life sucks.

i love jesus but he doesnt love me

well this is my first post having a magor low day, im female 39 years old i have no husband/boyfriend no children no pets, my mother died recently she was the last member of my family i actually had any contact with. i have a severe speech impetement and i was homeschooled by my mother so i never went to high school so my prospects are practically non existant, i just dont know what to do with my self ive come so close to trying to commit suicide multiple times all i have in my life is my thumbs up jesus shaped rabbit ear vibrator and now thats broken i no longer have jesus to give me my mind blowing orgasms im too nervous to go out into the world and possibly get fucked by a large gang off hulking negroid men, someone help me

this is serious..

okay so i guess i'm just gonna list all my problems instead of telling a story:

ocd
epilepsy (can't get a drivers license, i have to buy medicine for the rest of my life, can't even go to see a 3d movie because it will trigger a seizure, etc)
social anxiety/low confidence
lonelyness
i'm the black sheep of the family, even though i'm goodhearted
my stepdad beat me up as a kid, nobody cared
my real so called "dad" is a mean drunk. i don't bash drunks, but he is a jerk who
always doubted me. i haven't seen him in two years i think.

i've been beat up by thugs.. 2 against one.
broke my nose and shit. that's how i get epilepsy.
i'm being harrassed everyday and laughed at because of the side effects of the medicine i take. which is it's sometimes hard to walk straight.

my best friend i haven't seen in two years because he got a girlfriend.
the guy has no idea on how to act. i mean it's cool you're with someone now, but two years..? idiot..

and i could keep going on.
i'm broke.
i live off rice cakes and water, because i don't have the money or motivation to make real food.

etc, etc, etc..

I am so broken-hearted for my son

My 6 year old son is severely disabled and legally blind. He has cerebral palsy. They have no idea what caused it and say that I didn't do anything to cause it. His brain is just...not right. He's like a 5 month old baby: can't sit up or crawl or scoot, can't walk, can't talk, can't feed himself,wears diapers, has trouble holding up his head, and has to be tube-fed.
The ironic thing is that when he was born I was constantly thanking God that he was healthy (we didn't know about the cerebral palsy until he was 6 months old). I hated my job with a passion, but I would say to myself, "Quit complaining about your job. You have a healthy child...there are people out there who have children with health problems and disabilities. You are so lucky he is healthy!" He wouldn't sleep and was incredibly collicky, but I kept on counting my blessings that I had a healthy son. Well, God is cruel.
He will never run around, have real friends, have a girlfriend, read, speak, swim, ride a bike, etc etc etc. I can't stand it. I'm so sad for him that at times I can barely function. I feel like a worthless piece of crap because I don't think I provide enough stimulation for him because I'm so lacking in energy.
I have always had depression, even as a child. I take medication and see a therapist, so I make it day-to-day, but I'm often on the edge of suicide. My doctors advised me to take prozac during the pregnancy..they said that it wouldn't cause ...

My life...

I hope this is cathartic as always when spilling your guts, but I am pissed again, and feel a need to expel my demons.

It's just wanting to flush away my madness.

These are small demons in the grand scheme of life, but for me they are large.
For me no past of sexual abuse, just a void of emptiness. Decisions were made for me, I was not given a choice, cos I was young (17).

What produced the void I am unsure of; (sorry excuse the typing as I am pissed and going through a downer).

Why do I feel best to explain myself when drunk, yet find it so hard to communicate that sober?

@17 I had a major motorbike accident, as a result of the accident I became epileptic.

Since the accident I have been on Prozac NNSRI's and antidepressants because I have would have had seizures 4 months a year.

I feel like a zombie
It's been like this for the last 10 years.

I feel I can't show my wife emotion, I am a zombie.
I came off prozac for 6 months and lost the plot, last year after 10 years on.

My wife asked me to retake them which I did, but I only ever feel released with alcohol.

Christ I am lost...

Comments welcomed.

A life of abuse and rejection.

I've never been a terribly happy person. I had it tough growing up and life has always been hell for me.

I was raised by my abusive alcoholic father: my first memory is being beaten up against a wall by him: being held by my throat and lashed with a belt. The mistreatment went on all through out grade and high school. I ended up in foster care twice, and my sisters ended up in an orphanage when I was in college (which I dropped out of to help them). On top of this my mother left when I was three and my father told me she was dead. Just recently I was messaged on MySpace and was contacted by my stepsister in west Virginia who told me my mother was alive and well.

I went to visit her, as she told me she had something very special planned for us. She proceeded to pull out crack rocks and offer me a smoke. I did it because I was scared and never had the acceptance of my mother, so I didn't want to ostracize Myself. To this day my parents both are worthless and neither one will help me with anything in my life. They are dead to me.

I have degenerative disc disease and outrageous continuous daily pain inu back which is nearly crippling. I can't find any doctor willin to treat me and suffer daily because of it. I started buying pain medicine on the street to take care of my back and now I've ended up hooked. I wake up every morning in a sweat and cold: pain wracking my body and feeling like shit. I just can't get off the pain medicine and it's making m...

No job, no money, no hope!

I am a single middle age overweight white male. Mildly handicapped. I am in the last demographic that employers would look. Forget that I have an IQ above 140. That my body was damaged by a drunk driver when I was fighting a fire at age 30. That since that day in 1984 I haven't had one pain free day. There are still many ways I could contribute to society. But to employers, I am an unhireable. I have a lifetime of skills and experience. Does not matter. We are getting dangerously close to a society like the one in the movie, Logan's Run. Or even Soylent Green. If you are over a certain age you become useless to society and should be terminated.

My Daughters life sucks without Insurance

I am Mom and my daughter is Meme. She is 34 now. She was born ill, it started with jaundice when she was born and a few weeks later she had an upper respiratory infection. I sat up nights awake just so she would'nt stop breathing without me there. One doctor over medicaded her and another helped her overcome the problem. Then through life she fell and got bumps,bruises and fevers as any child does. When she started school she was quite different. She wasnt very social and she couldnt focus and she had trouble learning as quickly as others. Not mentally retarded as we called it then by any means, just hard to focus, didnt make friends well and overall was awkrard all through school. I did try ridilin for a while but it didnt work so we stopped, she even went to a therapist as a teen who wanted to hypnotize her but she didnt except that well so we stopped. As an adult she just wanted a baby to love. Her heart is so big and caring and loving but she has difficulties with focussing and had so many bad experiences as a child that i didnt learn of util recently. That makes a mother feel guilty and sad. I didnt protect my baby.
Now she has clinical depression, extreme anxiety disorder, PMSD, a hernia,cracked tail bone, frequent kidney infections,swollen joints,pinched nerves,constant pain,siezures that has caused memory loss and keeps her from driving and now she has developed severe stomach and bowel problems! Oh but thats not the worst, the worst is...she has no insurance...

Life is suppose to be hard

Ok I feel everyones pain and all, but I've come to the conlusion life is suppose to be hard. Everyone shouldn't be born with a silver spoon in there mouthes. I had a hard life and been treated like shit before, but that all that shit just makes you tougher if it doesn't kill you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't bitch and complain and vent about it but it is what it is. I'm almost 26 years old and shit has been hectic, but shit life is suppose to be a challenge everything shouldn't be handed to you on a silver platter. You got to get in where you fit in. Feeling sorry for yourself will get you no where fast. I'm poor and struggling on disability with little to no support, but there's no reason to cry about it and feel sorry for yourself. I work every chance I get, but that's life nothing is gonna go your way all the time. You just gotta deal with the cards you were dealt and make the best out of a fucked up situation. I'm no angel I've done some stupid shit that I regret but hey who hasn't? Your parents don't give a shit about you? Tough shit the way it goes. Your family act you don't exist? Tough shit the way it goes. I'm spiritual and I believe everyone should suffer like Jesus Christ suffered for us. It's time for certain people to suck it up and realize life is a challenge. Everyone that's rich ain't happy and peaceful shit most of them rich snobby assholes are on there way to hell anyway. Life is what you make of it in a twisted sort of way. Yeah you don't get to ch...

Me against the world

Nobody's story could be worse than mine. I have read alot of peoples stories but I think mine is the worst. First, I'm a 35 year old blacc male who recently got released from prison in Ohio. BOOOO!! I really don't even know how to tell everybody how I feel so I'll just "keep it real" with whomever reads this. I have been diagnosed with all types of shit from bi-polar to manic depressant with schizophrenic effects, impulsive control disorder- been on all types of meds since 1993. Been hospitalized a few times for beeing suicidal...blah,blah,blah. I have very low self esteem...very self conscoiuos about my height etc...I'm very materialistic....Oh yeah I exaggerate ALOT. I never had any real friends my whole entire life. I have no problem getting a girlfriend as I have had many and children to follow behind... I would like to think of myself as a good father but my kids have become materialistic like me! Or is the fact that this bling-bling era/video vixen shit got everybody discombobulated? i live at home with my mother and I had another child while incarcerated and Im still with the mother but she complains that we don't have sex enough or that I don't take her out...yada,yada,yada. I hate the world and what it has become. I hate myself for feeling like this. I love my kids but they seem to want only be happy when I take them shopping at Holister or some shit. While I was away my oldest daughter got pregnant and had the baby right before I was released from prison. So now...

I hate my life

I have the smallest penis in the world, somehow everyone thinks its funny,you can notice it,when i wear jeans it is like im a girl with no bulge at all. It wasn't always this small, I hurt it when i was 18 during masturbation. now im 24,some people say its Peyronie's disease but the penis and testicles are now very small.No one believes me, ive been to 4 urologists and they say the usaul its just in my head bs.I get teased by girls that notice ,its a serious issue for men,small penis is not a joke.I don't wanna be a cuckold or get into SPH. iv'e seen it on the net, I just want to be normal, I want to end the pain but my problem doesnt have a cure and no one believes me when I say I hurt it with too much masturbation(7 times a day).I am aware that most men masturabte and nothing happens but I know my body and I hurt it .I wont get married, id be too embarrsed to be social,I only have male friends, i am sick of acting like theres nothing wrong and size doesn't matter blah blah i wanna end it all .Whats worse is it still shrinks when I masturbate,Is there anyone that can help ,I can even prove it.Hope people believe me,im not trolling.Girls stop making fun of small penis its not a joke it can kill a man inside.

I have a great life but i absolutely hate it!

I have 2 beautiful children a loving husband a wonderful friend.
But I doubled my weight in 3 years, cant look in the mirror. I ache everywhere. I suffered post natal depression since my daughter was born, on medication now.
We suffer with our finances. no government help as my husband works, but our debt is more than our house worth and cant keep up with it. I worked as a nanny which i cant do with both of my kids anymore. that puts even more strain on us. childcare is so expensive i cant afford it.
Every day i have to ensure my children behave perfectly if i ever want another job in my life.I am doing a degree as a distance learner and university is rubbish.They are useless. i cant see eve if i graduate to get a better job ever.
I cant see us keeping our house, our life's work and if we loose it we'll never have our own again.
I hate my children. they have slept so well until about 2 weeks ago. now both of them are up all night. all day i clean, tidy, do everything in the house, must concentrate on eating better to loose the weight (so i might not ache that much at every step), look after the children, keep in touch with our families who live so far away, do university with no prospect in life and keep on top of our finances. it all just gets me so down i cant stand it anymore! I just want to run and never return! I blame my daughter for everything! and we both so wanted her. its her fault that i have lost every prospect in life, i dont sleep, i hurt all the time everywhere, i only see my husband as a passing ship, finances are so bad and all my problems just because of her.
I havent slept for a week now and just so want to end it all. I know my life isnt as bad as so many others but i cant get prospective on it however much i try. regardless of every thing logical i still cant stand it. i just want this all to end as there is no end to site, apart from the obvious. but i am too much of a coward to do that. just fed up!!!!

Youguyssuck

Yes sometimes it sucks, I have had cancer. And now I have a secondary infection which is making my life hell. But you have to just do life. And get some satisfaction from things. I am sorry to ruin your pity party. But get it together, we all have things. And you are never really alone. Get real we exist in soup. Love to everyone.