| | Posted by loulou at April 22, 2012 |
How careless I hear you laugh and shout! In 1984 when I was diagnosed with m.s. my life was seething with an abundant amount of friends! My m.s.changed from being able to carry on as normal to relapsing remitting. That was in 1995 and I continued to enjoy the company of my many friends. A few years down the line it then changed again to progressive my husband coped with this change by shouting at me that i was not doing things correctly. After a few years of this verbal abuse I could no longer take anymore and so in 2011 we divorced. I then set about trying to rebuild my life! Unfortunately a great deal of my friends were couples who we both Knew and although my ex-husband had moved 230 miles away they did not want to be seen to take sides and therefore they would not socialize with either of us.It was then that I found out how difficult it is to go out in the evening to meet new people when you are alone! I have since become more and more depressed and now I am seriously considering suicide.I have seen councillors changed my antidepressants acquired a voluntary part-time job try to meet people through the internet, but have had very little luck! I still feel very depressed. I know feel good stories are required but mine, unfortunately, is not one of those! Perhaps other sufferers have similar stories? |
| | Posted by No Name Please at April 22, 2012 |
Where to start?! I was in the military and got blown up by hand grenades caught shrapnel in the head face neck chest and hands. Two front teeth blown out from it. Can't see well from it either. Broke most all my bones over the years due to military duties and accidents. Gassed in the gulf war as well as oil showers all day and night from the fires. Going deaf due to all the noise while in the military. Have gulf war syndrome and other problems. Can't have children because of it all. Working law enforcement job now and have been cut stabbed and shot several times. Always have to fight someone because they don't want to go to jail when they do wrong by other people.
You think your life sucks? Spend time with me and I'll set you straight. Despite everything that has happened in my life I'm still here to see another sunrise and sunset and God willing I'll continue seeing them!
If you still think your life sucks and you don't want to live anymore, take a good long look at a military family who has to bury their loved ones from some outpost somewhere in the world. They have a reason to not look at life like the rest of us but yet they keep going and never give up!
Your life sucks? You don't know the meaning nor do you have the right!
Get off your lazy ass and get a job, get a life or just get real!!!!!!!!! |
| | Posted by Ugh123 at April 19, 2012 |
Every day I wake up feels like another day of punishment. It has felt this way for lately and for a while - whether I thought of it that way or not. Where do I even begin...
Ok so, before the economy totally tanked I was very successful in my career. I was starting to pay off my student loans and any debt that I had from working 2 crappy jobs and putting myself through school full time. I had respect, my own office, and loved what I was doing. Then it got messed up (long story). I lost my studio office, most of my business, got into debt trying to save it, got stressed out, gained like 50-60lbs from being stressed out, etc etc.
Then I had to start doing physical labor - painting murals and rich peoples homes to make money - making a lot less than i was used to and pulling 12 hour days breathing in toxic paint etc. I was always dirty, felt unattractive and generally felt tired like I was dying every day. Eventually I burned myself out completely and hurt my back.
I was unable to work from Nov.2011 to now April 2012. I have run through any savings I had. I had to get on welfare, food stamps and other degrading programs. I got even fatter. I was a very proud person and now I feel like a slug. I am also filing for bankruptcy. I have about $300 to my name and then rent is due again soon... I wont have enough.
My back is sort of better. I quit smoking and I lost 30 lbs so far with a lot more weight left to lose. I need to be on antidepressan... |
| | Posted by LifeCanSuck at April 19, 2012 |
Last year, I developed sudden onset binocular diplopia (double vision). Got an MRI and saw a big white mass behind my right eye. For a few days, I thought I had a brain tumor and would die in a few months. Turns out it was nothing, and my vision returned to normal on its own. Fast forward to today, I risked all my money on a business and so far it's not working out. Don't know how much longer I can hang on before creditors start banging down my door. I'm on the brink of losing everything, 150k in debt and nothing to show for it. Here's the thing - I wouldn't be in this situation if I had had a brain tumor. Now I wish that I did have a tumor. At least then I could have died with dignity. I would have taken than few thousand dollars I had and traveled with my family. Now I'm totally fucked. If my business doesn't improve I will have to declare bankrupcy. That wouldn't be so bad, but I don't even have money to pay for gas, utilities, etc., and no job prospects either. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 18, 2012 |
As I was growing up I had a mental & physically abusive dad who messed up my confidence, trust in people, everything basically.
I have been diagnosed with depression Dr thinks I may also be Bi-Polar
When I was 18 I was raped by a so called friend.
I know also have agoraphobia as well as depression.
I have No friends.
Sometimes I feel so low I wish I was dead :(
I have tryed to kill myself many times since the age of 13. |
| | Posted by L at April 18, 2012 |
I'm 18 years old now and for the last 5 years my life has been completely fucked up. When I was 14 my dad cheated on my mum. My mum has serious mental problems and needs help. Even before he as this he used to Physcially and mentally abuse me and my sister. She would threaten to kill us throw things at us, try to suffocAte us. I think she's got multiple personality disorder mixed with a number of other things but who the fuck knows shea just completely insane. When my dAd moved out she starting threatening to kill herself, shoving pills in her mouth in the middle of the street. While this was happening when I was 14 my sister was 18 my sister would just sit and play her video games like nothing was happening. While I was trying to help my mother. When i was 15 I started smoking, drinking, smoking weed, taking LSD and pills so numb the pain. Being made from a seriously mentally I'll mother I too was susceptible to the trauma she has. I become extremely paranoid I thought all my friends were Talking about me, laughing at me, planning to kill me, watching me when I was alone and worst of all I thought everyone could read my mind. It got so bad I couldn't speak from the anxiety and the delusions i was so caught up in. One morning I woke up from a night of partying and when I was walking it literAlly felt as if my brain had collapsed and hit the floor. I don't think I'll ever know but ever since I've never been the same. At 17 I went to see doctors about what I had turned into... |
| | Posted by Salvation at April 17, 2012 |
I was a very bright kid, everybody said I will be famous or somebody important when I grow up. I had a great dad and an emotionally distant mother. My parents were fighting eachother all the time. In those moments I felt like somebody was stabbing me with a knife. Maybe that's why I never had a steady relationship. I was also very embarrassed of my family because we were dirt poor. Nevertheless I was a happy child. In highschool I started to get anxious and was diagnosed with IBS. At first I ignored the problem, but later things just got worse... I developed a depression and dropped out of college. Last ten years I'm like a vegetable just sitting and watching my life go to waste. Now I'm 30, fat, diabetic and unemployed. My diabetes is untreated so I can expect to go blind, have a stroke or a kidney failure any time soon. I don't even have health insurance so I'm screwed. I'm seriously thinking about suicide almost every day for the past five years. I tried to seek God, but he's not listening or simply doesn't exist. In the following week I will buy hollow point bulllets and blow my brains out with a homemade gun. I don't want to die but I don't see any point in living anymore. I'm disappointed with everything. My life is over. It's kind of a relief. |
| | Posted by Daniel at April 16, 2012 |
Hello, my name is Daniel and my life is a big fat pile of crap. I find myself living paycheck to paycheck with so many bills to pay and three different sources of low-income. I get a very small paycheck from two of my really part-time jobs every other week, and I get a decent check from the government to save my ass from being eaten alive. It's really frustrating trying to manage three different incomes and the only reason I get the last check is because I broke my neck 5 months ago.
Which brings me to the next topic--I broke (yes, BROKE) my neck december of 2011 and life has been hard since. I am lucky to be alive and not paralyzed; however, sometimes I just wish I was lucky enough to not break it in the first place. Why? because I'm not nearly as fit as I was before, my dreams of being a professional performing artist have gone down the drain, everybody forgot about me and moved on while I was out of commission and recovering alone at my house for 3 months, and people look at my surgical scars like I'm a freak or they treat me like I'm fragile.
Speaking of scars.. I have been breaking out a lot in the past year and almost every pimple that I got left a scar. Can you imagine how many I have on my face now? Most of them are jawline and cheek acne, but lately I've been breaking out on my forehead as well. Not fun. I've been taking this problem very seriously for the past 3 months and made some progress, but now it is time for me to rid my face of these h... |
| | Posted by josh at April 15, 2012 |
I'm 29yrs old. No kids no wife. Not really good at anything have two jobs I work
8 in the morning till 1 at night everyday except Monday's for what to pay bills to live in my basement apartment all I have is myself I get into a car accident total my truck then find out I have cyst on my brain would never have found out if not for the accident no insurance I get sick while my douchbag boss lies to everyone and says he has colon cancer to make them feel bad for him so they give him money god is good right? Fuck both of them I'm tired of spending my life working for what a basement apartment that's shit that's why I've decided to just not due anything about my brain when it kills me well be the best thing that ever happen me NO MORE BULLSHIT I'm tired I've done the right thing I don't bother no one I due my job and life shits on me for fun sumthing new every day with my life no one understands I didn't ask to me here if there is a god well this is for u fuck u. I'm glad my life is a joke for u |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 14, 2012 |
I have always hated my life. I have been suicidal since i was 10 and had severe clinical depression since i was 6. I've also had an eating disorder and body dismorphic disorder for as long as i can remember. I was recently diagnosed with OCD and an anxiety disorder. My anxiety keeps getting worse and i have been having at least one attack every day. I'm maxed out on meds and they don't even work. I was sent to 5 different rehab centers this past year for the past 6 months of my junior year so now i'm going to have to repeat the grade or drop out of school. i have no talent whatsoever so i have no hope in finding a career. I also have hundreds of scars on my hips stomach and left arm from cutting. I have been self-mutilating for my whole life in almost every form. I overdosed the end of my sophomore year on alcohol and no one cared. my best friend didn't even notice until my sister told him why i was gone 5 months later. this is the best friend who convinced me not to commit suicide when i fell in love with him. He is the only one i have ever truly been in love with, and he just recently told me that if i want to kill myself then go ahead because he won't care. i have felt so completely hopeless for so long. i don't want to be here but i cant get out. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 13, 2012 |
I'm fourteen, I've been suffering with clinical depresstion for six years. I'm popular, I'm thin, I'm blonde, yet I want out, so bad. Every day it’s something new and it all keeps piling on until I’m on the verge of suffocation. If only they knew the weight on my bones, how close I am to collapsing every day. It’s sad, because the kind of help I need nobody can give. There’s only one certain way that all of this can be fixed. I’m so weak it’s funny. They tell you that the pills will make it better… But I don’t even know what’s wrong anymore. When you’ve been on dozens of Supressants, Stimulants, Antipsychotics… You really have no idea who you are without the pills. Obviously someone that society can’t handle. All the norepenephrin and dopamine pills in the world can’t end this. They can stifle it, but just the littlest things trigger it again. People are put off by my attitude… It’s absolute hell, living when you so badly don’t want to … Please, don’t ask me what’s wrong, because I myself do not know. Don’t ask if I’m ok, because I can’t remember a time when I was ok. I wish I wasn’t a fool. I wish I didn’t jump headfirst into everything, and always hit the bottom. I wish I could live up to everyone’s expectations, eminently my own. I want to make it through a single day without doing something I regret. I wish I could keep my imbecilic mouth shut. Soon I know the inevitable is going to happen, and it’s going to break me apart, tear my world down. I don’t even know how I... |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 12, 2012 |
Both my husband and I are unemployed. Both looking for work,he has a terminal illness and we have no insurance. No money to pay the bills, went to social services for the 1st time, they said sell the house, we don't even own it yet. Will be out on the street soon.Bills keep coming, and no money.
He was let go after 21 yrs., and his employer gave him NO Severance pay. Said they only have 14 million in the bank, and cannot afford to give him and the other person a severance package.
Both have education and skills. I have applied at so many jobs, told overqualified or underqualified.
I feel so defeated. I just want to give up. Friends say it will be ok, yhea, for them, they have jobs, bank accounts, insurnace all the things we used to have.
The reason we have no money is because he had to pay for his 2 kids from a previous marriage, and we were not able to save as much as we wanted to.
I hate everything right now.
A friend of mine on fb had the nerve to complain about her high paying job, and she has a high school diploma! Then she says her worst problem is deciding to cancel Netflix or not.....WTH???
Glad I found this site. Thank you for lettimg me type, regardless if it gets on the site or not.
|
untitled story|
| Posted by M,S.D at April 12, 2012 |
I need to vent so I found this page.
My life is so challenging. In 2007 I was in a motocross accident that left me a T4 paraplegic complete. That means I cannot feel or move anything from my nipples down. It caused extensive nerve damage which causes severe spasms and chronic nerve pain. I have to take 35 pills a day just so I can get out of bed. I have no control of my bowels or bladder and I have to guess when I have to pee. I get urinary tract infections often and I usually visit the hospital one week a year or more due to complications from my paralysis.
One of the worst parts of it all is I didn't realize how good my life was until this happened. I had a lot of the same complaints I've read a lot of you have. My relationship with my family and friends have changed so much. I'm a huge burden financially on my parents and I need their help a lot. All the shit I took for granted is gone. I had to get paralyzed to realize how good my life was. I can't snowboard anymore, hike, or ride dirt bikes. Those were my 3 passions. Women want little to do with me. I can't find a job, I spend a lot a time alone and I love socializing. Being such high para I have no abdominal muscle, which in return means my balance sucks. Any sports I try are very difficult.
There is a lot more to it. To everyone that reads this, be nice to the disabled. This can happen to anyone. Second, some of the problems I have read here are not that big of a deal. If you don't like somethi... |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 11, 2012 |
Alzheimer's, Borderline Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Traumatic Brain Injury, Addiction, Alcoholism... And, the house I rent is being foreclosed. Miserable job. The only thing to look forward to is getting high. Sentience is a disease. Consciousness a virus. I wanna devolve. Be an ape. Live in the woods. Throw poop at my enemies. Pick bugs off my pals to eat. |
| | Posted by david at April 10, 2012 |
Okay, here it goes. Life for me started out relatively rough, I had open heart surgery at birth which made it extremely difficult for my parents, considering I had a twenty percent survival rate. I suffered a stroke not too long after that. When I was three my parents got a divorce because my father had a drug addiction, frankly he did not give a shit about my mother and she did not give a shit about him. I have two brothers, the oldest of whom is ten years older than me and the other one a year younger than him, they were both trouble makers. They come from a different father, who was a drug dealer, and once assisted in stabbing a man to death. I went to a very small public elementary school, where if you were not the best of the best, you were treated differently. Every day I was called down to the office for some stupid shit. I was once called down there because they had a problem with the way I dotted my I's. WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY TO ASK SUCH A FUCKED UP RETARDED QUESTION. I was then transfered from there to a very small private elementary school on that very same street. Things did not get better, I was picked on for being fat and poor. I would be doing some stupid shit with, lets say, three people, and I would be the only one to get in trouble. Their disciplines were not "conventional." If you did something too severe, you were beaten with a paddle. When I was in the forth grade I came across my first brush with pornography. My mind really blanked out most of it, bu... |
| | Posted by darkangel28 at April 10, 2012 |
I was just told by my gynecologist that I need surgery to remove one ovary due to suspicion for cancer. I was pretty devastated, I cried in my car on my way home, but tried to keep my composure while telling nr bf. I was expecting him to assure me everything will be fine, hug me maybe. But instead he begin complaining that there is always something wrong with me. I told him I'm going to need his help post op, if he can see to be home ( he's a self employed truck driver ) after my surgery. That's when he began to scream at me that he will not lose my job because of me, that he hopes I rot, that he doesn't give two s### about me :'( I don't have any family here, my parents live overseas. I don't have any friends either, as me and him just moved to a new town because he hated our old place. I'm alone and scared beyond belief. :'( |
| | Posted by Meow! at April 9, 2012 |
I want Voluntary Painless Euthanasia. I can’t bear the physical and resulting emotional agony anymore.
I’m a 25 year old female, renting with my best mate. I'm not too skinny, I'm not too fat. I feel like crap as I am in agony 24/7. I was born with a blessed (sarcasm) sciatica, bad back, disk degeneration (disks tare and break) and bad knees caused by flat feet (my knees formed incorrectly due to my flat feet, so the bones/cartilage rub together). This is how I feel: Think of being stabbed along your back and down your legs and behind your knee caps with a jagged knife and twisting as you stab. THAT'S WHAT I HAVE 24/7. How the heck can I NOT feel like crap. How can I NOT be depressed. To top it all off, I’m allergic to almost everything, including pain relief. Unfortunately, of course, not so allergic to kill me though:-( I’m just allergic to mean that I have to deal with this agony of pain, every single day.
I have endured this for 25 years. (Lucky for me, I do not want and never will have children). There is no amount of money that can fix the excruciatingly painful condition I was born with. I want voluntary Euthanasia. I've endured 25 years of this. When is Enough, ENOUGH???? I'm allergic to pain relief, I slip disks out just walking and it takes MONTHS, not days, MONTHS to heal. MONTHS of Agony. And even then, I never fully “heal”, I can never HEAL. The down time I do get is short lived. I still can’t move suddenly as I get extreme sharp pain down ... |
| | Posted by don at April 9, 2012 |
Currently I am on Medical Leave due to heavy depression. I am under the depression medication and sleeping disorder medication. I have never been on a sick more than 3 days in last 10 years. I am currently work as a senior technical position in the one of the top 100 companies in Canada over 8 years. I was a happy and productive employee. Last year I have move to my present job. 2 people on my team and my manager is fully responsible of my current situation. I am mentally physically and emotionally sick. The main reason was my poor English and other 2 persons reporting to my manager about me all the time. In the other words back stabbing.
I am an immigrant to this great country and living here over 14 years. My manger told me various times my English is bad and poor. This were happening in past 12 months. Also every time I work with other 2 person, they are reporting to my manager. One day my manager call me to his desk and ask me to sit down beside him and he told very loud, my English is very poor. he ask me to write a sentence in his computer. I was very shocked and very upset. I know all the people around my work area were heard. I also admit I did mistakes in my job. That because I did not had a proper training regarding the subject matter. I have ask the manager about the taining and he told me on the job training is the best. My job is mission critical system support and do require lots of training.
Long story short, After this incident he has re... |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 9, 2012 |
When I was about 6 I was hit in the testicules,well of coarse that just so happened to damage to growth of my penis. Well I'm 19 now I've never told anyone about what happened because it embarrassing I have had a few girlfriends never had sex. I have a few friends but barely talk to them anymore. I'm alone and depressed all the time. I let my best friend the girl of my dreams slip through my fingers because I didn't ask her out (because of my penis) and just found out she is pregnant and it destroyed me throwing me into a deeper depressing and I'm always thinking of suicide though I have no desire to commit suicide. I don't do anything anymore I just sit in my room and work. No one sees the pain I'm in. My family will joke around with me saying I have a little dick not knowing that it is true and it hurts so bad. I usually cry myself to sleep asking why this happened to me, because of this I have little to no faith in god. I will probably be alone for the rest of my life but its ok because what ever happens to me I will always have the strength to push on.
I just keep telling myself it is ok, you can take anything and everything because you are strong.
|
| | Posted by george at April 8, 2012 |
Hi. I'm 22 years old and I'm from New England. I live at home with my parents, I have no college degree, I work part-time at the front desk of a behavioral health office, and I am depressed. I grew up being told how much better I was than everybody else; i went to private schools and the teachers constantly told my parents how smart i was and how i never behaved. nobody ever thought to get me tested for learning disabilities (or maybe they did, but preferred to keep be oblivious to my shortcomings) until I took a class called "disabilities, diagnoses, and interventions" at the local community college 2 summers ago. Since then, it has been an almost constant battle with the powers that be to garner the necessary support, medication, diagnoses, and encouragement to keep me moving forward. In spite of my diagnosis, my dad still doesnt accept that I have any psychopathology and pretty much blames me for the fact that I still live at home/aren't enrolled in college, etc. As a result we don't speak much. Not for lack of trying; I have spent the entire year trying to get my mental health in order and fix my relationship with my dad. But it seems like the two are mutually exclusive; the more my diagnosis informs my modes and methods of existence the more my dad withdraws. If I'm not going to excel in the conventional pathways for success, it seems my dad would rather have me not exist at all.
I'm sitting in my bed right now on easter sunday, feeling particularly down and shi... |
|