| | Posted by anonymous at March 26, 2012 |
When I was 17, I had it good for a highschool geek. I had geeky unpopular friends, and even had a relationship with a geeky girl. Then, one night on the town wrecked my whole life: I was in the backseat of a jeep cherokee, wearing my seatbelt (the lapbelt) and the driver lost controll and sent us into a tree. 2 days in the hospital revealed that the belt ripped up some serious stuff in my stomach, and then 2 months later (after the first surgery) I woke up from a drug enduced coma to find out that I was operated on 5 more times, and still had more to come.
My girlfriend stayed loyal for a while, but after the 3 month hospital stay, and a 6 month rehab period (which I lived with a stoma, you can google it, but beware). After the last surgery, I thought life would start getting bact to normal.
Well, it only got worse. My gf left me for some jerk, every few months the doctors find a new problem with my body, and to top it off, I lost half of my abdomen muscles completely. Now I shit 3-6 time a day and fart like nobodys business. It's tough to make new friends, and my old friends are faling farther away. My crush denied me, amd cut me off from her life, and now here I am: 20 years old, putting off college to deal with my medical problems.
One fucking night ruined everything. 3 suicide attempts later, im still here. Guess I will stay so I cam take care of my brother. Would hate to die on him and ruin his life. |
| | Posted by LAME DUCK at March 24, 2012 |
I got fired today. thats three jobs in last six weeks. Not my fault, store closing. my wife left me for a little person. My parents both beat me for the first 15 years of my life and I ran away. i have no education, and my car got repode last nite. I cant even afford a 40. I wont make rent on my own without my wife. I want this all to end. My herpes itches so bad i cant concentrate. I need new teeth because last year i got smashed in the face with a pipe when I was being mugged. I wear anti persprant and I still smell like a over ripe onion. I have a 2 inch you know what. I cant take this anymore. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 23, 2012 |
I am a 22 yr old female and I absolutely hate my life. I have only one friend and though we text everyday and work together she doesn't really hang out with me anymore. I was physically and sexually abused by 8 different people for 16 years and as a result I have severe PTSD and other mental issues. I have an eating disorder and I am a cutter. I've attempted suicide 12 times and the last time I tried I was in a comma for 6 days. Why am I telling you this? Because it explains why I am the way I am. But no one ever understands me and they eventually leave me because they don't know how to handle me. I am a very emotional person but hard at the same time.
I hate my life because I have no friends really. I have no one to talk to or hang out with. My life consists of going to work and coming home to an empty apartment. I hate being alone. I hate being in my own head. I hate myself. I pray everyday that God would just let me come home to Him. I don't care how I die... I don't care if I am brutually murdered or just pass in my sleep. I don't want to be here anymore. The other night I was driving home from work and I had to drive over a really big bridge so I closed my eyes and let go of the steering wheel. Nothing happened because a car honked their horn and swereved to avoid me hitting them. But I have no one to talk to about how I'm feeling. There is no point for me to be here. All I do is hurt myself and disappoint others.
I have so much t... |
| | Posted by kozmikyak at March 22, 2012 |
I have outwardly good qualities--high intelligence that gets me gainful employment at a reasonable wage, artistic abilities that many would die for. I would trade that all in a heartbeat for some kind of connection with humankind.
Everywhere I go I'm patronized because my Tourette syndrome and (well-treated) schizophrenia are obvious to people. I'm routinely denied access to the networking and social interactions that are a big part of how business gets done. People constantly misread me and I'm unable to read them.
I'd give up all the outward success to be able to interact as an equal among men; they treat me like a little boy. I'm 38 years old and have never had as much as a date with someone of the opposite gender. People tell me what I should do in order to "be a man" yet I'm disgusted by the arrogant posturing and disregard for others' feelings that are required to "be a man".
People fear me and tell me to my face, unprompted, how creepy I am and that I shouldn't be out walking on the street because it makes them uncomfortable. I've constantly been accused of making sexual advances at people when in fact I don't even know _how_ to do so. It must have to do with the constant blinking and twitching that I can't control even when medicated to the point of zombiehood.
Many here have lives far worse than mine. But I still wish I could interact with humankind as an equal rather than being the omega to the world's alpha. |
| | Posted by too-old-to-soar-like-an-eagle at March 22, 2012 |
hmm..life sucks..sucks major. My life is so messed up I do not know where to start. Maybe quick brief about myself. I am 43year old male who is suffering depression and anxiety disorder. I am under medical care for past 4 years. I have separated with my wife of 7 years over a year ago..Thank God I did separate..otherwise i would probably kill myself long time ago. not that I do not think about it from time to time :(
In past 3 years I have changed jobs 3 times, for various resons.. first I needed something more challenging, then I was let go due some office politcs and economy.. then my next job I lost because of my relationship problems.. now I hear gossips I may loose this job, again. That drives me to depression again. I need stability so bad.
I started to date a nice lady about 8 months ago, but now my relationship is on rocky waters since my gf wants more commitment. I feel it is too early and I feel overwelmed. Beside that I have huge financial dept. For past 15 years I go up and down again with my finances, but I can never free myself from this financial burden. By my calculation it will take probably 6 more years before I will reduce my debt to the level whre I will be able to breath more freely.. Not sure how long it will take to completely pay it out. Belive me.. i was thinking about bunkrupcy too. I do not make much money, but not too little either..Enough to survive, but not enough to dream, enough for payments this month.. may not be en... |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 20, 2012 |
i'm 26 years old and have two children. they are twins. i had them at 19 and one of them is a specials needs chid. the father hasn't been in there life since they were born and we knew each other since we were 10 years old. i have no job. i'm stuck at home with my mom. no friends. never had boyfriends. i have always been an outcast since i was younger. my family all act funny towards me and so does the little bit of friends i do have. when i was pregnant i knew i couldn't take care of a kid, so i tried to get an abortion at at least 5 different places but unfortunately my blood pressure was to high they said, so i couldn't get one. so i decided to just except it and keep them. that is when my life really feel apart. in the beginning my life consist of hospital stays, not be able to go anywhere and no support system. i can never find a job every time i try to get a job no one calls me back even to this day. i always feel like an outcast. alot of people have kids and there lives are not like mines. i can't meet anyone, i never have no money. i feel like this planet is against me. i really can't explain all the stuff going on my life. you would just have to experience it to believe it. every time i try to take a step forward i get pulled 5 steps back. i hate to admit but i tried a few times to commit sucide but it failed. i try to stay positive all the time but i can't anymore i'm ready to give up. i rather be dead then never be happy again. i lost a piece of my life that i will never get back for all that. i should of went to jail. LOL |
| | Posted by dansaysyo at March 20, 2012 |
hey im dan. glad ur reading my story and thankyou. well it goes like this. im bipolar... mostly manic. not attractive. on ssi/disability due to my illness. getting my own condo that my folks are getting me. most people think i have it great.. but when im depressed im depressed. im so sick of calling suicide hotlines for wanting to kill myself. im not a spoiled brat.. i'd much rather have a job and get "my" own place.. yet i can't. due to for example one of my meds is 700 bux per bottle and im on 7 medications. i want to be a father but i cant, due to lack of the money im getting, wouldnt be able to afford hospital bills etc etc. i get so lonely due to lack of friends in this shit hole, everyone is douches and all the girls go for the "bad guy" type which im def not so the hell with them, i'll be alone. am i destined to commit suicide? only time will tell i guess cause im suicidal now. i hate shit handed to me, i wanna work for it. i dont wanna go back to skewl... to expensive and i hated highschool so why would i like college? sorry for wasting time n all.. cya on the down low ladies and gentlemen and thanx! |
| | Posted by Carter at March 20, 2012 |
My bf recently broke up with me. This wouldnt be so bad except he has LITERALY always been my friend and now we dont even talk. I dont have any other friends and he broke up with me by kissing me and then saying it was over and put his arm around some chick and kissed her then he watched me cry. Not to mention three of my best friends just committed suicide (why i have none now.) my mom and ex boyfriend beat me and i might be pregnant with my ex boyfriend.the abusive one. i feel so alone. my dad left me when i was little so i cant turn to him and i have no friends and my mom beats me. i am deaf and partially blind. i have dyselxia and add and adhd. i want to commit suicide my life just fucking sucks so bad and im only fucking twelve! fucking twelve! and these fucking bastards think their lifes sucks! |
| | Posted by Mr Happy at March 19, 2012 |
My parents had difficulty lives. Mom's mom died when she was 7 and her father was an asshole who left her with relatives. My Dad's dad was an alcoholic. My dad suffered from serious health problems then had a major car crash and died when I was 18. My mom developed a serious neurological disorder 6 years later then died in a nursing home and was receiving shock treatments. I recently lost my home, car, and every belonging i owned. I'm a raging alcoholic and suffer from depression. I do love my wife and kids however. |
| | Posted by dansaysyo at March 18, 2012 |
life does suck. im bipolar but on meds. im on social security/disability which is a good thing i guess. cant ever work or my ssi will be termiinated. making very little money to even buy a cd, yes i know people have it worse then i do on this site then i do, but just telling my story. cant ever have sex do to erectile dysfunction, seeinig all my friends getting married and having kids... while im in this black tunnel at the edge of the abyss going no where in life. feel like commiting suicide but the thought of never coming back scares the hell out of me so i dont wanna do that for now. i called suicide hotlines multiple times for advice and help. being bipolar just sucks man, it really does. if u dont understand a major mood disorder or have one.. thats good cause they sucks, tired of taking 6 different bottles of meds day and night. anywho that will do. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 16, 2012 |
I was first diagnosed with an emotional disorder at the age of 5, generalized anxiety disorder. At age 12, I was diagnosed with severe depression, and tried to take my own life. I was being bullied severely, I was called a bitch, a whore, a lesbian, along with merciless teasing. At age 13, I developed an eating disorder and lost over 10 pounds despite growing several inches. I was not overweight to begin with, but my parents didn't see it. Age 15 marked the begining of my isolation. I had fewer and fewer friends until by age 16 I had none. I haven't had any friends since. I have had two boyfriends, each lasting fewer than four dates. At age 17 I was diagnosed as bipolar, and began to suffer from ultradian bipolar, which is when you switch moods as many as four times per day. I also suffered a psychotic episode in which I believed I was slowly being transformed into a robot, and every night surgery was done to replace some body part or organ with a synthetic version. All of this was in preparation for the cyborg takeover, and I was to be part of the first wave. Seems stupid now, but then it was absolutely real. What depresses me the most right now is that friendships, romantic relationships, work, school, all of it feels like work that will do nothing but sap my energy and make me feel even more tired than I already am. I can't think of anything that would make me feel happy again. The most I can hope for is to feel numb, to forget about the pain for a few minutes while watching tv or eating or sleeping. Many times I wish I could just fall asleep and never wake up. |
| | Posted by why me at March 15, 2012 |
Im a 30 y/o single mother I have a 2 year old her father is a deadbeat loser who gives me no financial help & spends no time with his daughter. I'm my mothers only child & she is dying with liver cancer I have to help her & can't stop working my 10 hr days because I can't afford to. I have rheumatoid arthitis & a pap smear with pre cancerous cells all this stress I can't get a break. I know it could be worse but my fuckin life sucks. |
| | Posted by Rex at March 14, 2012 |
I live with a woman who I love so much and would do any thing for her. I have severe ADD and fuck everything up. She is getting sick of me and is about to kick me out. I have no where to go and no one to call. I lie to her, whether it be on accident or on purpose, I try not to but her disapproval and disappointment scares me and I don't know what else to do when my ADD takes over and fail. I can't live on my own, I have 4 dollars in my bank account and get 230 dollars a month so there is no way I could get an apartment or a roommate. I am a nerd and a loser and no other woman will want. When the woman I live with gets pissed she talks to me like shit and seems to be able to turn her love on and off like a light switch. Every time this happens it hurts more and more inside. If she kicks me out I have no where to go and my world will be destroyed. I hate myself and all the pain that I cause her but I can't stop myself. I am a terrible person and need hep. Nobody cares. |
| | Posted by anonymus at March 13, 2012 |
I am 40 years old. I grew up in a household of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. I married when I was 19 to a man whom I thought would free me from that lifestyle. Life was always hard between us. We were always poor and struggling just not to be homeless.My health was not good, I had several miscarriages and could never have kids.My dad died when I was just 23. My closest relative, my sister and I, had a falling out and then my mom died. Due to my health I lost 90% of my vision and driving, working, and reading were out now. Financially it was a killer also.Not long after I lost my vision I discovered my husband had molested a girl of about 10. She was a close family friend and we split up. He went to a resident sex addict program and I tried therapy. By this time we had been married nineteen years, although not happily. I am a christian and I do not believe in divorce except under extreme circumstances and I wanted to believe people can change. The girls parents had decided not to press charges at lease for the meantime and we got back together, which I know a lot of people will not understand. In december of 2011 I was diagnosed to be in stage 4 renal failure and the girls parents have decided to press charges. I have no friends, nor family left except for him. I am pretty much housebound and cannot live on my own or face being homeless. I know I am a christian but suicide never looked better |
| | Posted by LostCause at March 13, 2012 |
I've been a bulimic for nearly 9 years, have spent tons of money on treatment and medication, on my disorder, some would say disease, to only have it get worse. despite those of you out there who think its my state of mind causing me to do this, i wouldnt wish this upon my worse enemy and hate every day waking up hoping to get through the day with my unreasonable impulses only to fail myself over and over again. ive become broke due to medical expenses, cannot afford a car, and any money i spend on food, if i dont throw it up, i have an extreme anxiety attack. more medical problems. my parents have given up on helping me, although they never really tried, as they themselves are drunks and drug users...so i figured my only escape was to try a new enviroment. i now live in the mountains where i somehow (didnt know it was possible) have developed asthma due to the elevation. more expenses. i now cant afford anything, still have my eating disorder, and spend whatever money i do have on cheap beer and binge food. everyone has given up on me, ive given up on myself as well, making life seem ever so pointless. ive had to sell everything that meant something to me, i steal food because i cant afford to buy it, and im on the verge of becoming homeless. a homeless, drunken, bulimic. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 13, 2012 |
I served five years in the army, and I've got a bad back and bad knee. Since getting out my ex wife divorced me, I've had trouble getting a good job. Ive had a couple no where no pay jobs. I've got a girl that is going to leave me. My father is dying with cancer. I've been spending all my disabilty check on a hotel to have a place to sleep. I never wanted too much, just a piece of land and a roof, a good woman to love and be loved by. I'm turning 29 this year and I've got nothing to show for it. I've never wronged anybody and I've done everything I can to always be honest, loyal and be the best person I can be, but life is just been too much. At this point I'd give anything to find a woman that I could lean on her shoulder and just let it all out, but that's not happened. I've always been a hopeless romantic, and I've always thought with my heart first, I'm loyal, and honest to a fault. And yet I've been taken advantage of, cheated on and lied to. I'm begging to think that there's someone for everyone except me. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 13, 2012 |
I am a man, a man who is 27 who lost the ability to walk or move, I can move my hands just bearly. I am only human I say that over and over I would die if I could but I am too weak, I am a smart guy but my life has been lonely since I lost the ability to move. I fought hard to live through odds not fathomable against me. I guess I lived so I can experience the heartbreak of my current life 9 of my 27 years on earth has been alone in my "ivory prison" only to watch life move forward as my life is in a halt. I am blessed to still have my hands and my mind but I am alone only friends with my own echos... |
| | Posted by James at March 11, 2012 |
Let's just keep this post high school. My father wouldn't help me with anything towards secondary education, despite paying the full bill for my brother to attend college. My mother had brain cancer, so he allowed me to stay at home after high school (take care of her) until she passed away, then promptly kicked me out, never to talk to me again. Went to community college, then to a four year college but had to drop out after a few semesters because I couldn't get enough student loans (I was living off campus, and working 60 hours a week). Dropped out, worked for two years to save money to finish school. Decided I wanted to go to nursing school this time. A week before school was to start, the beer distributor (store) that I was working at was robbed. Gave the nice man the money and still got shot. Spent a few weeks in the hospital with no health insurance. Got some of the bills waived, but still had to use most of my school money. Went to nursing school the next year and within the first month my apartment was robbed. No renters insurance. The following year, the apartment complex caught fire. Still no renters insurance. Finished nursing school, and thought everything was going to change. Got a job, was able to buy a nice used car for myself. Then some moron in a nice silver BMW decided to go 50 mph in a gas station parking lot and smashed into the driver's side of my parked vehicle (Was in vehicle eating a chili cheese dog). Back to the hospital. When I got out, could only work part time, despite piles of bills. One day home from work, helped a woman in her 30's that was on the side of the road with her car broken down. Apparently I beat her, and am tangled in that mess. You think your life sucks? Try mine. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 11, 2012 |
I'm 23 and in grad school. I have had an eating disorder for 11 years now. I'm surprised I haven't died yet. I'm clinically depressed and feel like there is no purpose to life. I get suicidal thoughts constantly but can't allow myself to do it. My brother died from cancer when I was younger so the thought of my parents losing both their children is what's stopping me. I'm on meds, talk to a psychiatrist and therapist but cant seem to make any progress. I am sick of life and constantly forcing myself to go through the motions of life. I can't sleep at night and want to be just done with everything. |
| | Posted by optimistic at March 11, 2012 |
Was 23 when I met my girls father. I loved him but knew there was something wrong.
I thought I could make him better. NO. You can't make a person who beats the shit out of you better.I left him when my youngest was 1....went threw the courts...paid 32, 000 dollars, had a protection order against him and he still, stabbed me, in FRONT OF MY GIRLS. Only thing that stopped him going further was the threat of deportation, (he was born in scotland, landed imagrant),.
but now, I find I have Lupus, they say, is from all the stress when I was younger, I am now 48, shakes her head. How do ya tell your girls....
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