LIFE SUCKS : 2012 April

Life really sucks

I have 2 businesses. I work 16 hours a day. Haven't had a day off in 10 years because there is no one smart enough to run the business while I'm gone...not even a day. I have no money..about to lose everything. Whoever said hard work and determination pays off was really wrong!!! There are not too many people that work harder and longer than I do. My son's health is not good. He has no insurance to go to the doctor. What do ya do? I am living day to day. I pray everyday. I believe in the Lord Jesus. I don't know what to do anymore. It seems the more I pray the worse it gets. If someone has a clue as to what to do, let me know would ya??

consequences

I was engaged to this guy whos in the army. we were supposed to get a house, id spent most of the stuff on the wedding already. But then he found out i cheated on him. Which i had been trying to keep secret because i knew it would break us up, and despite what most people think, i love the fuck out of that guy. So yeah. Ive lost just over a grand ive spent on the wedding. I have no more savings, ive lost all the money i spent on furniture for the house. I have no friends, in the relationship he forced me to hangout with all of his friends, so... now they hate me. ive recently started a job at his place of work, so EVERYONE thats their knows what ive done. Ive been rather depressed since it happened, and have lost libido, happiness and appetite, i have lost 3 stone since the breakup 4 months ago and am now under weight -.- low pay at my new job so im getting taunted for shillings. my dad has cancer, and my mum.... oh wait, yeah she has cancer too.
My life is SHIT.

feeling lonely

i am married for 5 yrs i got married when i was 21 it was an arranged marriage i completed my btech in electronics and telecommunication i wanted 2 go 4 mba but my parents forced me 2 get married. i had my first affair at d age of 16 i loved him so much but he was a flirt..he never loved me i had so much pain in my life tht time he used me n got married 2 someone else i was completely broken down...was shattered then came another guy in my life it was just 8 months before my marriage tht he came into my life he loved me so much but i never committed him since i was not in a position to take another heartbreak i seriously liked d guy but never confessed my feelings to him then after 3 months of knowing each other i started loving him n when i was about 2 tell him tht i loved him my parents fixed my marriage..i told him...i was pissed off i told him tht if he wanted me 2 get married 2 him he should tell his parents about us and he should ask them 2 come 2 my home n talk 2 my parents but he didnt do it i just dont knw whether he actually loved me or not by talkn 2 him i always felt tht his feelings were genuine but d way he behaved it showed another story
i got married after six months he never called me or sent me any email or didnt had any contact through social networking site i contacted him six months after my marriage n since then sometimes i message him or talk 2 him whenever i miss him badly but he never showed tht interest in me d way he had before its always m...

life aint beautiful

I feel hatred and arrogance growing in me day by day, i hate the fact that people say life is beautiful.What the fuck is beautiful in having a family where no one cares about you?What the heck is beautiful in having a worthless father?what the fuck is beautiful in being in a community where everyone is self-centered?what the fuck is beautiful in working and not reaping anything?what the fuck is beautiful in poverty?what the fuck is beautiful in feeling pains deep inside of you every fucking second of ur lyf? What the fuck is beautiful in losing the one you love? What the fuck is beautiful in being maltreated?what the fuck is beautiful in being discriminated?I can go on and on but i've gotta continue my huzzle n struggle...life aint beautiful, life is a bitch!

Wasting my life and in deby

I'm 25 and feel like I've wasted the best years of my life. I was happy, popular and successful in undergrad college and then went on to graduate school. I became severely depressed and struggled through school just barely making it day to day. My classmates and teachers would worry about my risk of suicide. I struggled through a very difficult program and did graduate. However I have over $125,000 in student loans (really). The best job I could find (and my school is one of the best in the country) and I make about $60,000. The debt stresses me so much.
I have a loving, pretty much supportive boyfriend who has been with me through this all. We have had our ups and downs, but overall he is great.

Since moving to a new town after graduation, its been about 1 year and I am so unhappy with my life. I haven't made friends, I just am not living the life I want. I feel like my youth is rushing by me. I am getting older, not living the experiences I wanted. Just waiting every day for my life to begin....

On the outside

I'm a 26 year old woman. Tall, slim, pretty in my own way I guess.
I moved to a new city to take a job I really wanted.
I had to break up with my partner of nearly 10 years and leave the home we had made together and our two cats who were important parts of my life.

I was so broken when I got here but I tried to hold my head up and I tried hard not to focus on my fears and hurt that I probably didn't deal with it properly.

Now 6 months later I realise I have only made one friend who is often busy with her husband and children.

Some of my workmates I think actively don't like me. It puts my on edge at work and ruins what is my only social interactive apart from the supermarket.

I can go days without speaking to anyone. Sometimes I buy things at the mall to feel a part of something but really I hate shopping and can't afford it.

In desperation for some sort of human contact I went online dating. Met a guy and immediately went out with him and had sex with him. We did this weekly for about 6 weeks- always on his terms- always mostly about the sex. I know I was a booty call but I was always counting down the days until I could see him again so I had someone to pass the time with, someone to touch, someone to touch me. Often he was the only person to ask me in a week how I was.


I had a flat with a girl who hardly spoke to me so I moved again. The new flatmates speak to me when there is noone else around but th...

ironically lonely

I am literally surrounded by loved ones and friends, but that does nothing to make me feel any less lonely than I do. I am in college. My best friends are all away this semester. My family lives states away from me. My friends from home go to schools far from where I am. I am constantly surrounded by people that claim they care about me, they love me, they are my friends....but what they say and what they do are two different stories. My true loved ones are miles and miles away. I hate living in a world that I feel utterly alone in. I haven't really had a true healthy relationship with a guy. When I have a potential relationship I get myself so worked up that I obsess over it though so scared I never pursue it, which only hurts more. Every time I talk to or skype a loved one that is far from me the conversation ends in a fit of tears as the last thing I want to do is end the call. I miss them so much. My life feels empty and pointless without having them here to share it with. They of course remind me that they are always here, though not physically, always here for me. It doesn't help that feeling of loneliness go away though. I have done so poorly this semester in school. I am a straight-A student and have always been on the Dean's list. I don't think my grades will cut it this semester. I have no motivation to get out of bed, let alone do any work. I put off everything my school work, to actual work, to seeing the friends I do still have around campus. Nothing seems wo...

I'm my own worst enemy

I moved to Australia last year to be with my long time boyfriend. Well the opening line should tell you how stupid I actually am. I left my very close family, all my friends and my FANTASTIC job...not to mention, my car. Now I am stuck in a country I HATE, yes HATE...Australia is full of BOGANS (White trash country racist hicks, with no teeth, bad hygene etc). There is actually nothing appealing about this place at all. I can't find a job in the industry I want to be in although I probably have much more experience so I'm working as a receptionist... I kid you not. Now i am all about life experience's and starting at the bottom but this place really gets me down. I came from a very wealthy family and I've never been a snob until now.

I hate being broke,I hate public transport, I hate the places I work and having little 19 year old girls who can't spell as my superiors. I am a perfectionist and always give my best even if it is just answering the phone and being nice to someone. I have always been positive, I can see the bright side in everything infact I've described myself as the opposite of a "manic depressive" because I used to be happy 90% of the time. I am so so so sick of being broke I haven't had any disposable income in about 10 months. I'm sick of eating badly or barely at all because I can't even afford fruit.
The man I moved here for is sick of me. We fight and argue constantly I'm not too sure if he even likes me anymore let alone loves me. I don't have a support system. I speak to my family less and less because I don't want them to know how unhappy I am. I want to go home, but I cant. I'm in so much debt at home because of coming to this stupid place.

I just needed to vent. Thanks for being a place I could do this.

Why me

I'm thirty one living with my parents ever since. No job .depresion I don't remember the lastday I felt happy or good ab out my self. Eighty perrcent of my face is covered with deep acne scars iheve a really big nose big ears I don't have many friends whenever I do go I'm the one sitting by himself or in the darkest place so that people cafn't look at my face I do try to hide with some cream s but as soon as it gets hot or I start to sweat it begins to drip down and seems like I'm wearing some kind of make up I had been laught at so many times sometimes I wonder how woild it feel to be normal lookin its strange I've. Never ever shared how I feel with anyone hope ican relate to other people so I don't. Feel so alone thank u everyone

Is all-over compassion what we need?

I guess we are all challenged when it comes to compassion. I was surprised by the first posting on this site: I have more reasons to believe that life sucks, so you shouldn't...Maybe, but we both loose if we compete in a contest where the prize is pain.

I came to this site trying to find understanding and community in others like me, those who too feel and somewhat act like life sucks. This belief becomes a terrible feeling and an overwhelming driver to loathe oneself. For me, I cannot say when this situation got this bad, but I know my facts are here right now: lonely even in crowds, hopeless about future, happy for everyone else yet unable to find my own way, convinced that a sucky past will determine my future, and life wasteful.

I wish I can say is only me, but right this minute someone asked me if Im that unhappy that I need to share it? I wish I didn't. So, I stopped, then left the house, got outside, had somewhere to go for an errand, and found the small gift of temporary inner-peace in a meaningless yet purposeful trip to the store. Im not fixed, but i got a fix. And that little pleasure made a difference.

Fuck Life

I am 21 year old male from Maryland in college who gets fucked over in life in every aspect you can think of. I am surprised i am even still alive at this point because everyday i have lived for the past few years i have felt like i could die at any second and that either way i dont see myself making it past 30 years old. Somehow i made it to college but i am a year behind because i have failed at least one class each semester and have changed my major to basically about anything but have no desire in any of it because i suck at ever subject.Everything i touch i break or fuck up in some way shape or form and it just makes people angry which is one reason i keep my distance. MY attitude and way of thinking is horrible and extremely negative as you can see because everything i have been through. The only jobs i ever got were minimum wage and the only reason i got them was because my parents knew someone. I drink a lot, smoke a lot of marijuana, and take aderrall for my disorder to relieve the pain as well. I feel like everyone has someone to turn to but me. Everywhere i go and most of the things i do are alone unless it is with family which i rarely spend time with. I can honestly say i have been depressed for at least 90% of my life because nothing gets better no matter how hard i try. MY parents got divorced when i was young and always had to move and live in bad areas growing up in the ghetto as a caucasion was not easy. By 17 i was kicked out of my moms house and was ...

Shattered dream

I'm 23 years old. My life has been one dramatic event after the other. I know that is a very bold statement, but sadly it's true. I was born into a bad marriage. My mother and father were on the verge of divorce when they had me. I was the "lets try and save our marriage/my dads way of trying to keep my mom faithful" pregnancy. Very dumb I know, but i wouldn't be here if they didn't. Obviously the marriage didn't last. Unfortunaly I lasted for 3 years after I was born. I can't recall if they divorced or if when my older brother, sister, and I were taken away from them by the state due to their drug habits. Either way that was the last my mom was in my life in a permanent basis. Luckily for my siblings and I we were place under my uncle and aunts (dads brother)custody. unfortunately for us they had 4 kids of their own. So adding three other kids was a issue. My siblings and I were always the black sheep. The burdens on them and this showed when it came down to how they treated us. One example. I always helped my aunt out with the laundry. Well one day she asked me to go up stairs to get the empty hangers. She informed me to be quiet though because my older cousin, her eldest, was sleeping. (keep in my this is around the end of our time with them. things got bad toward the end) Well I was at the top of the stairs when my aunt is at the bottom of the stairs. I can't remember what, but she asks me a question to which I reply with a quiet answer. She then gets angry and asked...

standards

I'm in grade 10 and i was brought up in a fairly wealthy family. I have a good life on paper but one thing thats really hard is living up to my brothers. My first brother is 25 and is practically a genius. he breezed through highschool and university, and on top of being REALLY smart, he's one of the most popular people I know and everyone loves him. He now makes 100,000$ a year and hes only 25...

my other brother is 21 and was diagnosed with autism when he was 3. He overcame it (obviously wasnt autism then...) and graduated highschool with honors. It's hard for me to even pass math let alone be an A+ student.

ON TOP of all that, my sister died when she was 8, and she was the girl everyone loved, she was so bad, but so funny and everyone adored her. Its really hard hearing my parents talk about how great she was because im their only daughter now and i cant live up to all these expectations.

my life so far

Hi im 20 years old i've pretty much had a normal childhood, and guess till 15 everything was normal till i discovered i can never get an erection and well i knew i had one testicle, still not sure why ive had 10 surgeries total since i was born for reasons that are still unknown to me even though i've asked for my records. when i was a kid i was very interested in sports but coud'nt join because of my surgeries, i was going for wresting and soccer also coudn't join the military. and up till later when in my teens i tried having sex with girls and she laughed and she stilled made the attempt to try and it was a complete failure all around and a horrible expierenced for me. Besides that i failed college i couldnt keep up due to financial reasons. well that pretty much me i wonder what future hold for me i know kids and marraige is out of the question and my only family is my mother once she gone im alone i have other family members that i probally see once every three years and adoption is out of the question, i don't want to ruin some kids life, and if i get to 50 years old im considering death by any way possible i don't want to be that old guy that gets alzheimer and people have to take care of him and treat him like a baby. but this is it im gonna try to succeed in life even though im doing framing right now which is pretty much building houses but life not over for me yet im gonna try something only because that what my mother would want of me she the reason i exist and the only reason i had a shot at going to college and nothing would make her proud than seeing me graduate im not gonna stop because i feel my life far from over even though it sucks its not over till its over.

Quit my job because it was boring and not fulfilling to me as the only sane individual in my family, who I enjoy mentally raping in my spare time for the suffering they have caused in creating me. Working in a construction (electrician) union is like dealing with high school all over again. Only difference is that instead of sitting around doing nothing, you deal with a bunch of older men who try to be your Father through fear, manipulation and brain-washing tactics. They force you to talk to them even though they're a bunch of boring broken family men who I would kick the shit out of on the streets. They make me drink coffee and buy drugs for them, all things that I would have been able to create/grow if I pursued my original goal of becoming a chemist/botanist. I love marijuana, psychedelic drugs, playing music, but even my fingers are inferior abominations. I become discouraged and end up playing power chords and scales at the fastest speed I possibly can. I am proficient in most musical instruments and despite my disgusting stature and overall ugliness and hatred of self. I swear I feel as if most women walking down the street have larger cocks than me in reality, as they are a bunch of dead transvestite whores that chopped off their husbands penises, and somehow this is all my fault. I honestly don't even need this god forsaken thing Taking shit from a fake boss teaching me a fake trade that attempts to keep me ignorant and in line. I do not take well to authority f...

World Peace

I'm an American so I can say that, from a moral point of view, things are getting worse.

Nothing matters anymore. Nobody questions anything. That's why America, and possibly the rest of the world, is doomed.

Let me give you a VERY simple example of what I mean.

There is a man in American basketball named...I kid you not...METTA WORLD PEACE.

Nobody questions it. Prove it? I can. The idea that a guy could even think he could get away with a name like that without being ridiculed into submission is the proof.

1) Nothing is questioned.
2) Everything is morally relative.
3) Bad behavior is ignored.
4) Children are trained to demand instant gratification.
5) This will doom America from within.

life sucks

first, i lost my mom. 2 months later my dad killed himself. my sister and i were on our own with no money. my parents didn't have any money to give to us. were currently living in my grandmas house who is about to die from cancer. we are broke and unemployed. my boyfriend cheated on me with a hooker. my sister is doing drugs. what do i do.

I'm a 52 year old single woman who is very lonely. Six years ago my mother died. We were very close and her death almost tore me apart. Before she passed, the two of us went shopping, dinner together, etc. I had many close friends and went shopping, to movies, had drinks, etc. It was wonderful. Now, all of my single friends have married, my friends that were married seem to have no time to do anything. We may have dinner once or twice a year!! Is all they have time for is their family. Since I have no family (no children, no spouse, no brothers, sisters, parents, etc.) my friends are the most important thing. The problem is, they only seem to call and/or see me when they have nothing better to do. I keep telling myself to quit feeling sorry for myself. I do have a good job and nice home, but that doesn't do anything to help with being lonely. Is all I do every day is get up, go to work, come home, eat and go to bed.
I was sitting in my chair playing card games on my computer when I decided to search about being lonely. I read many sad stories. At least I know I am not alone.

WORTHLESS

I see no point in life. Searching for a meaning, something that makes us happy. And you get to that goal you thought would make you happy. And you have money and a social life. But actually everything is superficial and nothing is real, no moral, since I don't think it exists. I dislike humans, even though I am one of them. I did everything I could, I have money now, I have a social life, a boyfriend. It's all fake. It's sad to think we all do the things we do for selfish reasons. You buy someone flowers so that YOU would feel good. You do something good for your own needs, satisfaction. Before I said it was what it was, and that is how we, humans, exist and live. But it just isn't enough any more. I'm not talking about a moment here. This has been eating me for years now, 10 years to be exact. And finally I've come to an end. I feel numb. And when someone dies, someone whom I have cared for, I accept it, since crying won't bring them back. And so what. I don't have anything to literally die for. Something so beautiful and strong and worth dying for. It doesn't exist. I wonder if it ever existed. I would have loved to die of hearth ache, die in an illusion i couldn't live without a certain person or a certain something! But no. We can live through anything since nothing is that meaningful. Judge away.

A bit about me....

Growing up for me had its ups and downs. You were never bored as there was always work to be done living on a farm. I’m the oldest of four, but now there is only three. My youngest sister died at the tender age of nine months- Sudden Infant Death Syndrome or SIDS. It was the day after Christmas when my mom found Sophie dead in her crib. The scene still imprinted in my brain- my mom wailing hysterically on the floor over her little body- everyone, the paramedics, police, all standing around unsure of what to do…. My dad cornered me in the bathroom, his eyes bloodshot: “We have to be strong and get through this”. It took YEARS for my mother to return to a “normal” state of mind. Sophie’s death almost tore the family apart. When I turned 18, I rebelled, moved in with my Uncle so I could grow weed and hang out with my friends without a curfew. There were strings attached. I was lying on the front lawn sunbathing when the first episodes started. First there would be a “massage” then eventually at night came the blow job demands. I moved out soon after, living from boyfriend to boyfriend until I graduated from highschool. After graduation, I moved out West, worked for a ski area and can honestly say that it was the happiest time of my life… The molestations were tucked far away in the back of the closet… Eventually though, I moved back to my hometown. I rarely saw my Uncle, it was always awkward. He was my father’s brother for god’s sake- I couldn’t say anything, or else my fa...