| | Posted by Hammy at May 16, 2011 |
Go to school...sit alone...get beaten up...see the girl I like...watch as she walks away from me while thinking that I'm a pervert...listen to that fucking prick talk about his sexual fantasies...get hit by teachers...go "Fuck...I lost another friend."...look around as another gang fight breaks out in my school...think about how fuckin' normal and fuckin' boring my life is...go home...get my fuckin' father on my fuckin' tail...pretend to be good around him so he can let me use his computer...log on to Facebook and see my so-called Facebook friends ignore me and remove my ass off their fucking friend list one-by-one...watch the same fucking movies on YouTube all over and over again...constantly get fuckin' reminded of how lonely and simple I am...and that I have no fucking social skills at all...Fuck this shit...Fuck your asses and dicks til' the end of fucking time and hope they rot where they fucking should be - in your mother's big fucking cunt. The fucking end.
Thank you. How fucking optimistic I've fuckin' been in the past few days. |
| | Posted by nikky at May 16, 2011 |
well im not so sure where to or how to start. right this momment i could care less for grammer or any of that shit. I woke up in the middle of the night which was like 20 mins ago. 3:32am and i just sat on the coutch thinking.GOSH LIFE FREAKEN SUCKS!! WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?? so for some stupid reason i type the words my life sucks on google and i come across this page. idk what it means but at this momment it just feels right to write down what i feel and think jst write down anything.
I worked for this company before they fired me that payed me 600 a week for the past seven months.(my first job ever) AND at does past seven months i spend it with who at the time was my fiance,(i moved out of my perants house to live wiht her) we lived together payed bills together but our relationship wasnt the same and din't work out. so she left and i was incharge for paying EVERYTHING!! which left me complitely broke and living back with my perants.
And now im here sitting at my perants coutch trying to think what am i going to do?? im 19 years old, I got two test before i finish my ged, (So at the mean time i have no education) im unemployed and i have no experiance on anything, besides my previouse job. I love life so much but i just can't help but to feel a feeling of confusion and somewhat every fucken lost.
I have an open minded relationship with my mom but she would never understand why i think life is just full of crap and bullshit... idk its my age, or just... |
| | Posted by Woah. at May 16, 2011 |
I think I'm telling every therapist I ever meet to look at this site. I'm pretty depressing myself but people on this site make me realize just how un-crappy my life is. My only problem is I love a girl, and have loved a girl for three years and she has a boyfriend, and she ignores me and stuff, my mom yells at me a bit for no real reason but you people... Cheer up guys, the word isn't over. Just smile more. Forget your problems it's hard and stuff but.... What your doing now isn't helping you. You need to cheer up, you need to find a hobby and someone who makes you forget about your trouble. Just.... Stop being so bloody depressing. |
| | Posted by Marisa at May 15, 2011 |
I guess I just don't get it.
How is this fair? Why should we each be dealt a different hand in life only to have to figure out alone how to live with it?
I'm 18 years old and I have lived a perfect life. My parents are happily married, my sister is great, I have wonderful friends, but I feel like nobody knows who i am, what I'm feeling and I think that is mainly because I don't like who I am.
I don't want or need advice, I just needed to say something. To be heard, because as alone as I feel, I'm quite certain that I'm not the only one. |
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| Posted by 6thsense at May 15, 2011 |
I dunno how and I dunno whyy...sometimes when I gain something in life which I long wanted, the enthusiasm and great sense of looking forward vapourises into thin air. It's like I wanted to be someone great, each time dreaming to be the best guy in the world. But I realised something. Once you gain something that you want, especially become someone whom you longed most for, you will not gain that kind of happiness and bliss that you thought you would previously. See how it link to the shyt of life? When can human ever be freed from such kind of pitiful situation where you forever cannot gain happiness? One thing I know would be sitting down meditating until you become a buddha freed from all kinds of worries and sufferings, blank in mind, with only bliss flowing through. And you can forever dun worry about being reincarnated again.That's the perfect stage in which everyone should aim for. |
| | Posted by AP at May 15, 2011 |
Its been awful.
First two years of depression, then an emotionally abusive boyfriend.
And I am 17.
I have no siblings...all my frnds are ignoring me...my parents just fight and mess up and most of the days its like my mom is in one room crying/cursing..my dad takes his cell and exits the house and I stay online 24 hrs..browsing random stuff..staring at the screen hollow eyed. It sucks man.
Sucks big shit.
I want to end this routine someway. It is killing me.
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| | Posted by anonymous at May 15, 2011 |
My twin sister ran away, says she hates me and my mom. My parnets are consently fighting and if there not then there telling me how the other one is making them mad, and no matter how hard i try to fix there problems I can never do it or it backfires. They wanna sell the house, my cousin has cancer and is most likely going to die. He's one year older than me!!! My friends think that Im depressed that I dont have a boyfriend, and I couldnt care less. and even though that I've literly said "No, I miss my sister." they dont seem to be able to listen and on top of it I cant even cry anymore because the tears just wont come. My life has become a soap oprea, kill me. |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 15, 2011 |
hello world, am 17 years old my life too is mainly loneliness, depressing, and boring. Ever since i started high school my life has turned into a empty box and i feel like a waste. I cant even remember the last time i was happy.Am now a senior and am about to graduate in 2weeks and still my life isnt what i expect it to be. I never had a bf neither and its kind of depressin becuz most of my friends have a bf. I feel pressured into being like my friends. am totally different from my friends i must say...am more mature and into life, the small things that my friends dnt notice....theyre more of being too grown and going to parties,clubs, and getting high and drunk and having sex. ME i rather go to borders and read a book or go see a movie or go take a walk in the city and go shopping or try things i never did before. however I have this battle with myself...i have very low self confidence and low self esteem. I pretty much think tht everything is impossible for me. good things never seem to happen to me and i feel....unlucky. I find no purpose for me to be walking on this earth and most of the time i think suicidal thoughts. I sometimes even try cutting myself...its nt a good thing but i figure it will make the pain go away...am a big cry baby i do cry abt my life and this person tht i am...i'll start by saying am very serious abt everything, i get angry easily and put my anger out on other ppl. I cn get pretty mean and i dislike myself for tht...i think i do tht becuz deep down inside i feel alone. its the worst feeling becuz am the only child and am home alone on a daily basis. my mom is always working so she doesnt get home till the evenings...my life is jus goin 2 school and then home...am so tired of it...i hope tht all this changes wen i go to college...i want to change and love me more and enjoy life... |
| | Posted by SuckerSibling at May 14, 2011 |
Well after reading some of these stories, I can relate. However, I am ashamed to say that it doesn't get better as you get older, it only gets worse. I am 63 years old and apparently, I have not taken life by the conjunes and got what I wanted, I was so busy pleasing everyone and helping everyone, I am a hopeless mess. I started out trying to go to nursing school - I had big dreams and ibg hopes. Then I met my husband, got pregnant, got married and raised my son working weekends and figured if I had a weekend job, by the time he graduated, I could go back to school. Well by the time that happened, I had a rotten racist boss who took me off the weekend and it ruined my chances of going to school because I needed to be off monday through thursday. Then, she puts me on a shift of Monday, Wednesday and Friday - a graveyard shift, so I couldn't do anything let alone school. Then my knees get bad, my blood pressure goes up, and then I got fired. Well, I figured after working 46 years I could get a rest, collect unemployment like a lot of folks do, and also have my pension from the state, so its not too bad. But try to find a job at 63. Forget it. No one wants you. So all my dreams are down the tubes, my life is in the toilet, my husband is up his family's butt, and my life is on hold. Oh, did I mention that my money hungry sister and her jerk husband are living with my mother who is on hospice and bleeding her dry financially? I can't even do anything for my mom if I wanted to, they have her so duped. She is like a prisoner in her own home, they monitor her visits, her phone calls and her mail. Only a parent can file for elder abuse. Where is the justice in this country? |
| | Posted by Jodie at May 14, 2011 |
Life for me has become unbearable. From the day I was born I was destined to be in pain. While my mom was pregnant with me my biological father died in a freak accident. My mom, who had many demons, became a very bad alcoholic. My life was one crisis after another. By the time I was 10 I developed severe anxiety disorder. It would continue to haunt me for years along with severe depression.
There was a time I thought I had hope for a decent future. Despite living a life of abuse, chaos, tragedy and lonliness I managed to graduate with honours. I got a great job. But no matter how hard I tried to be "normal" I could not run from myself. I could not run from the horrors that plagued my life. Then the final blow - my mother died 5 years ago. She was just 47 years old. Despite the way I grew up, my mother and I were very very close and losing her killed me. Soon after I found myself addicted to oxycontin. What started off as the means to end the painful back problems I had quickly developed into an addiction from hell. I found oxy to relieve not just my physical pain but my mental pain and anxiety. Since then I have gone from bad to worse. I've isolated myself to the point where the phone NEVER rings for me. No friends, no nothing. The only thing that keeps me going are my kids. Thank God for them. Nothing else matters but them.
I live in poverty, am trying to straighten my trashed life out but honestly I just want to die. I don't want to wake up every day... |
| | Posted by mana at May 13, 2011 |
Ok all my life we were poor. My dad would buy race car tiers instead of paying the electricity my mom stayed till I was like 3 then off to grandmas this was ok she took care off us me mom sister and grandma all in a 2 bed trailer my mom moved out to the shed so she could get her ged and work nights I remember being like 5 and mom going craze and holding a gun to her head complaining how roten me and my sister are. My aunt came over and took her to the loony bin she was there a couple months. At this time my dad remarried and was doing ok had a pool put in and all I remember calling him he would say we could come over for the weekend and so many times we would have are bags packed staring out the window crying cuz he never shouldn't even a call nothing, I remember I needed shoes bad my feet were bleading my mom asked him for money or if he could get me some he said no I went over to visit and my step sister had a new perm I was so hurt my dad realy never cared moving on my mom found a man had a job at the the bar working nights he worked constriction we had our own place then he started melesting me and of couse the threats of what would happen if I told it started at age 8 and went until age11 one threat was if you make this hard I will get ur sister instead so I lay quiet went to my happy place.. till it was over the man used to play games with my moms head like he told her I out sugar in his gas tank... I flattened his tire .... that tipe of shit when I was like ten me ... |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 13, 2011 |
The way i look at life is that its all a load of crap. all where here for is to reproduce, pretty pointless if u ask me. all my life ive had shit from every1. yea i might not be the coolest person out there but still, u dnt hav to give me shit for it. i pretty much left school as the only friends i had were the teachers, all the students were imature and retarded faggots. here i am now, 1 and a half yrs later still with out a girlfriend and still with no friends. the only people that i could call friends are the guys that only like me for the accects i got and the money i have in my account, ya dnt hear from em otherwise. im a good person, respectfull to woman, respect for the police but still i get laid with OCD, talk about shit thngs happening to good people. i look at the people who gave me shit in school and think, why do they get it so good, they treat adalts like shit, hate the law but here they are, happy as hell with anuf friends for every1. partying evry weekend while im sitting in my room all week, no one to talk to, life sucks! |
| | Posted by depressed at May 13, 2011 |
eversince i was little i have always been let down by people, my dad passed away when i was 2years old and i guess i never got over not remembering him im now 19 years old and i thought i had a best friend and we knew each other for 9 years combined he was always with me and we did almost everything togather i thought i would never lose him until the day i heard his mom screaming i then found out he had committed suicide, its been 2years since his death and i still havent come to terms with it.
as for my other best friend well she has a boyfriend whos a total jerk, i moved away from my hometown after i finished my schooling but i still try to keep in contact with my friend.
i love her alot and i miss her dearly but her bf doesnt want us to be friends cause he thinks that i take up to much of her time we barely communicate any more and im finding it difficult to be happy. Every time i call her she comes up with some excuse not to talk with me.
i have taken up to cutting my hands again, i honestly just cant deal with the stress anymore. i need to get out, get out of this life.
normal people pray to god for a healthy life i on the other hand pray for death i pray that god gives me Cancer or some illness thats a death sentence i feel so depressed lately all i think about is me dieng.
i wish upon stars that god sees my torture and takes me to him i would love to be dead instead of being here on this messed up Earth where all you get is pain and heartache.
i have nobody to talk to cause no1 will understand, i sit here right now and wish i were dead.
i dont know why i have been cutting myself so often but i guess its cause the physical pain is much easier to deal with than the emotional pain.
thanks for reading this |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 13, 2011 |
here go's,I'm a sixteen year-old girl, and I have one of the craziest and the poorest family of all man kind,My dad is a retarded drunk, hes allways drunk 24/7 he drunk so much of that alcohol for all these years and now he's super retarded,some times he acts like a 14 year old even though he's 55 years old!,and my brother is 21,and he is the biggest jerk i've ever known,he had to be a ass when it comes to money he will not give us a helping hand when we need it,and my mom she won't let me go no where,she's been iscolated me ever since i was 12,before then I had a good social life I had some friends,but now my mom won't let me have it,now i lack social skills, i don't know how to even be with the other teens,we have financal problems like all ways my dad never makes enough money to pay rent,the eletric bill,NOTHING!!!!!,everday i dream of death,I don't want to be alive anymore,i thank god for helping me survive sixteen years in all this bull shit. |
| | Posted by TJ at May 12, 2011 |
Hi. I have mortgage, girlfriend and a decent enough job. Oh and I also drink myself into a mild coma whenever possible, not because I have some traumatic pain It's just fun, I have a small debt of £7000 which I can barely afford to pay and spending £5 a week to get blasted on cheap booze is the highlight of my week because when I wake up in the morning there is a good 10 seconds where it's all ok and that gives me the energy to carry on until next week.
If you have a home you aren't in danger of losing, you're doing ok. |
| | Posted by jss at May 12, 2011 |
we're all just doing this to ourselves. reading up and down this list i see so many people i can relate to. all of us are afraid and all of us are sad. me, i feel mostly guilty. i feel guilty about wasting the chances i've had. there is no reason for me to feel sad, and that in itself makes me feel worse, because it's like i'm taking this bright sunny day and just closing the shutters on it. why should i even deserve to suffer? i should be a go-getter. i should solve my own problems instead of complaining about them. i'm 28, i'm obese, and every day i just let life pass on by. sometimes i make a half-hearted effort to do what i'm supposed to do, other times i just shrug and roll over and say i'll do it tomorrow. i'm waiting for someone to rescue me i think. but no one ever will. |
| | Posted by Appy at May 12, 2011 |
Ok so I never told this to anyone but I don't know why I am writing this here. So I am 24years old male and came to Canada like 2 years back for doing my diploma. The fact remains I was so excited and I knew I would do well but somewhere life took a big U turn which got me nowhere but deep down the shit hole. So still 2 years into it I have not finished my diploma. Been failing classes like anything and its been almost 2 and half year still haven't gone through. My all friends who where with me went ahead in their life and are currently doing good but I am stuck where I am and can't find a way. Top of all my family is so strict so I had to tell them lie about these all stuff. The current situation in my life right now is I need to pay my fees but I don't have money to do it so that I can complete my shit education. Can't tell parents or else they would kill me. Friends have gone ahead in their life so basically no one is there in my life and I am left all alone and thinking that I should go ahead and kill myself. Been thinking of suicide but let's see what happens. Read a lot of stories on this site but let me tell you people if you read mine I guarantee you that your life is far better than what I am living right now. Thought of doing something with it but ended up making my life shit. |
| | Posted by Grace M at May 12, 2011 |
It's like a curse every thing i touch,wellcome's to my life ends up hurting me and the pain is to much to bare.lossimg my parents at a young age and have to be a mother to my little sister,being threatened to be beaten for no reason,beeing injudged(when something get stolen "ofcause it's her" they say),life threating setuation where i have to make painful decisions.year down the drain(failing at varsity),getting dumped over and over.There is to much to tell i just dont know how to put the word together.
I am tired of feeling pain |
| | Posted by blah blah black sheep at May 12, 2011 |
I know I hate the peoples but I have to try to keep my anger in my heart cause I still need to see them every working day and the most of your times every week.
I know I got fed up with the job but I can't leave it cause I have to pay my rent, my car and my daily expenses.
I want to get my own private living place but the so called salary can't even effort a house.
I know I need to get away from these negative thoughts and go along with what I have now but I still cannot ignore the fact that the "volcano" will be erupt inside of me soon enough. |
| | Posted by wasted life at May 12, 2011 |
-I just turned 29 and I'm in University... I told everyone that I was done but I'm not
- I feel like I have no motivation
- All of my friends are successful and have great jobs except for me
- I still live with my mom
- I have zero in savings
- I'm very unsure about the future...it may turn out real bad
- I have no confidence
- I feel like my looks are fading
- I feel like im not smart at all
- I always blow job interviews because they can see my lack of confidence
- my ex bf bankrupted me
- my mom seems like she resents me
- my family has given up on me
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