| | Posted by jeff at May 21, 2012 |
Marriage came early in life to my college sweetheart. At 22 we bought a starter home and embarked on our life together. We treated people well and lived a virtuous life. At 28 we decided to take a leap of faith and move to NC knowing that we had worked hard and paid our NH house off in 4 years. What ensued was a 6 year cluster fuck of errors resulting in a $50,000 loss on the house. Fast forward to 2006 and we bought a property and built our dream house which we occupied in March 2007. Although the real estate market had weakened we priced our former house accordingly but had to put $20k into it and sold it for a loss. Then in March 2010, 1 month before our 25th wedding anniversary God killed my wife with a brain hemmorhage. He then chose to introduce me to a woman who stole $23k from me and a crazy bitch that made me sick. I've now met a wonderful woman that I want to make a life with. For the 3rd time I've put my house on the market, knowing this time that I would lose money. In the first month I've had 1 showing. I'm so angry at God for never coming to my aid and fucking me time after time. I'm tired of starting over. I'm afraid to be happy.
This is after a childhood that involved moving 7 times in 16 years. Every time I was happy with where we lived my father transferred. Spent my 16th birthday as a first day at a new school. I'm a self employed successful financial manager that trusts no one and always expects the worst. I continue to fight forward and try to... |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 21, 2012 |
Nobody knows me, nobody cares, nobody listens, nobody stares. I feel like I don't exist, I feel like I'm not even here. When I talk to people, they do not. When I help people, they do not. So basically I'm just a human male, in a inhuman world. Living in an planetary zoo, and no one knows that I'm alone... |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 21, 2012 |
I want to die painlessly and quickly; a few shots to the head or maybe an explosion would be ideal. I've been making plans and experimenting for it must be over a year now. But the day I'll be able to kill myself still feels like a long way off. I've still only got to the stage where I've made a blasting cap to set off the main explosive.
I don't understand how people can be so selfish as to not care about the fact another human being is alive whilst never wanting to be. Particularly my parents are the selfish ones; fine, have a kid and see if it enjoys life... That's fair enough I guess. But then when that kid consistently tells you it wished it never existed and wants to die WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU KEEP IT ALIVE?!?! It's fucking disgusting. They should at least have the courtesy to kill me. They made the decision to bring me in to this world without my input so THEY'RE responsible for giving me a way out!
It pisses me off enough for me to think about mass murder with my suicide. To pack as many explosives into my backpack as possible, travel to the nearest city and get on a busy bus and destroy hundreds of peoples lives. Legalise assisted suicide for the long term mentally ill and I'd imagine suicide bombings would become a thing of the past. This society is sadistic and disgusting |
| | Posted by DontCare at May 21, 2012 |
dunno where to start, but what im tryna say overall is that i really believe my life is a fuckin' dead end. i think about it all the time , no matter what people say , i think my life sucks and dont enjoy it at all . punched the wall of my room a thousand time. have ZERO! self-esteem , keep my head down all the time . i think i cant blend in. sit behind PC almost 10 hrs. i hate my damn life :| |
untitled story|
| Posted by anonymous at May 21, 2012 |
My life sucks. I graduated from college for a year already and I can't find a freaking job!! I've been to eight interviews and no one wants to hire me. I got a shitty retail job that Ive been at for four, almost five years. Still gets pay like four cents above minimum. I'm 25 year old with about a thousand dollar in my account. I feel ashamed and hopeless. Everyday I hope for things to get better and I'll eventually find a good job but seem lik no one wants to hire me. I get too nervous during interviews and now I m just discouraged. Everyone I know are getting marry or married. Have babies and planning their future. I don't even know what to do with mine!! |
| | Posted by sadone at May 21, 2012 |
My horrific divorce was 7 years ago. It included my ex-husband stealing my kids dumping them off with people they didn't know and 14 months of an agonizing search for my younger son, my older son had been sent back to me after a few months. Now I worked went to college and raised my boys. I can not get a good job and just as I am invisible to employers I am also invisible to men. No one loves me. I do not drink, use drugs or hurt other people, I actually volunteer in my community. I pay my rent yet my landlord finds reasons to hassle me. He goes into the house whenever he feels up to it. No warning or anything. I am still raising my younger son who is so angry at the world he feels like I OWE him everything under the sun. I am not happy with life. My life is crap. I am the only one in my family to go through the steps and actually graduate from high school and then go to college and graduate;however, I am the most financially depressed as well. I have worked all of my life since I was 13. Nothing ever goes right. I have multiple disabilities and still I work and try but I am belittled by everyone I know. I have been raped, beaten and left for dead and no one cared. I just got criticized. When my ex-husband left me and my kids on the side of a road homeless, I got criticized and told it was all my fault. How could have been? I did everything for him and took great care of the house and kids while i also worked. why does everyone hate me. I hate my life I hate it and here soon will probably commit suicide. There is nothing worth living for. |
| | Posted by jay-c at May 21, 2012 |
I'm 18, I went to school, did all things a normal kid did, played with friends, went to the cinema, bowling, family occasions, i've had girlfriend, i've got amazing friends, a big family, i've got a house, tv in my room, playstation ,laptop, sky subscription, i've got a job, and i'm studying at college. But i hate my life.
I hate my life, because this world is absolutely ruined. People killing each other over religion, RELIGION, something that cannot even be scientifically proven, and is most likely not even true. Kids are being judged by exams results, instead of their personalities and performance in the work place. Rich people have to pay less for things, poor people get nothing. Racism is still part of everyday life, people are judged by their appearance, WE HAVE TO PAY TO BE EDUCATED, teachers don't even teach because they want to provide others with knowledge and opportunity, they teach because it's a job and just want the money. World leaders and constantly being slated, they can't do anything right, because no matter what they say or do, someone, somewhere isn't going to agree. Kids are so fake these days, girls in particular, they think beauty is orange skin, bright blonde hair, massive tits, and they act like complete sluts to try and get a boyfriend, and then they moan about not finding true love. If you don't respect yourself, then who else will. Boys think that having a massive dick, being ripped, smoking, getting tattoo's, playing the hard man is wh... |
| | Posted by bobby hammer at May 21, 2012 |
Why do we live in such a hateful world? why society why so much hate towards each other if at the end of the day every human being is going to die so why we live in such a fuck up world???????? My life is pretty suck i'm a college student that has 4 years in a 2 in half year community college. i have no friends whatsoever i try to talk to girls but when i talk to them i i get nervous for some sort of reason specially if the girl is really pretty. Lost my virginity to a escort at the age of 18 never had a girlfriend family thinks i'm gay cause never seen me bring a girl home bully all the way trew middle school no self steem what so ever I just think about dead everyday cause i hate my life i just say to myself one day it will all be over here for me on earth |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 20, 2012 |
I am 48 dying of heart disease and insulin dependent type 2 diabetes. I have never been married and I do not have any children...two things I really wanted out of life. What else is new, I never get what I need or want. In addition to the diseases I suffer with chronic pain in my back and neck every single minute of my miserable existence. On top of that I have carpal tunnel in both wrists, nerve damage in my left hip, diabetic neuropathy in my feet and hands, my left knee is destroyed from football and bicycle crashes and my right ankle is destroyed from auto crashes and football. I take some 17 different meds everyday and a minimum of two insulin shots. I am trying to survive on an 1100.00 a month income from social security disability...that sux! All my physical problems coupled with living in poverty have made me say fuck it! What's the point?! I'll never be able to have children and a woman who loves me as much as I love her. My life is only going to get worse. The pain will never stop...I already have a 100% clogged artery on the back side of my heart that is untreatable...I have a pacemaker/defibrillator in my chest and seven stents in my heart. There is nothing I can do to make my life better...so fuck it! Suicide is looking like a pleasant relief of my miserable existence...seriously |
| | Posted by whocares at May 20, 2012 |
I'm young, dont worry about my real age, you shouldn't care.
Ill start with the divorce. my dad took all the money instead of my mum. so we don't have much.
when I was 9 I was raped by a teenager at the shops. there was lots of people there looking at me when i was screaming and he was carrying me away. They didnt care.
Then whn my mum was working , her boss raped her aswel. I never told anyone about being raped. My mum told us though, but she never told the police, she didnt do anything, just like me... a few other things happened, lots of my family died to cancer, then I finally died on the inside, nothing mattered to me anymore, a few days later my mum died, for real, just like me, except worse.So my fat bitch of a nan takes care of us now. I know she hates me though, she hasn't talked to me in over 2 years. I didn't do anything.
My brother cant take it, so he pretends its all better, you dont know what that feels like.
At school, I pretend everythings alright, I have alot of friends, or what I think friends are, but there not my REAL friends because im never the real me. no one knows the real me... Untill i met HIM. Hes 3 years older than me yet we dont care I think I know what love is now, not "oh i loved that movie" coz you didnt. I know what it really is. we share everything together, he gets me. And now hes the only one that knows the real me. And only yesterday (thats why I'm on hear) He died of drug overdose. Yes we did some pot and ice toge... |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 20, 2012 |
Everyday i hear about one sad story. Either a child got abused. A girl got raped. Someone mugged an old couple. A greedy husband killed his wife for dowry. A greedy husband and his fucking pathetic family killed his wife for dowry. Another child got molested. By his grandpa. Another 5 yr old kid takes up the job of a beggar. Another low life loser rapes and kills a 15 yr old girl. Another sick bastard throws acid on a girl's face because she wouldn't accept his rose. Another son of a bitch professor tries to rape his 18 yr old college student. Another Husband kills his wife for money. Another father molests his own daughter. Another teacher tries to put his "penis" into his 6 yr old student's mouth. Another 80 yr old lady gets mugged and killed. Another and another and another.... what the hell is wrong with humans? Being called a "human" is becoming a disgrace. Because if being human means to do such things, i'd rather be a demon. "Everyone has a demon inside them." yeah? NO. Everyone is becoming a fucking Satan. And trust me, i am insulting SATAN by comparing him to Humans. We have rape, child abuse, female infanticide, robbery, murders, and a long list of A grade crimes... what do we need demons and satan for? huh? I mean, as far as "supernatural" or "dangerous" entities go, Vampires and Werevoles and demons have already charmed millions of this foolish humanization. And oh how i abide by them. Because when i have seen what HUMANS are capable of, everything else seems ... |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 20, 2012 |
I have been married for almost eight years and I just found my spouse in the middle of an affair. Leading to the discovery that my entire married life was a lie. My spouse has cheated with more than 20 people durning this time, sexual and emotional affairs, and hardcore sexual affairs. Due to my spouses job, I had no idea. All of our family holidays, and even our children's birthdays a lie, as my she was with their sex partners on these days also. All of her affairs were with married people.
Trying to separate and wait for an apartment to open for my son and I, it has been hell living with her; as she flows with apologies. She had the audacity to call my at 11:30 p.m. the other night and tell me that three married men had asked her out to a bar, and was that okay with me!
She says, I love you, then in the same conversation tells me she only cared about herself and she did not care how I would feel about it. It made her feel good and like she was somebody!
What the hell! I married a psycho and life sucks! I hate my life! |
| | Posted by Ruby at May 20, 2012 |
I absolutely hate my life. I am a 21 yr old college student, I've worked my ass off to get a good GPA and yet my friend and other people who hardly do much work get more financial aid. I've applied to hundreds of jobs and yet I still have not had a job, ever. I am generally nice to everyone I encounter, and sometimes I go out of my way to make people feel welcome and comfortable, yet I am always treated like crap. I am constantly told I am attractive, but despite this I have yet to have my first kiss or a first boyfriend. I have no car and some of my best friends ditched me just because they decided I wasn't good enough to be their friend anymore. I've contemplated suicide many times, I don't see better times ahead. |
| | Posted by Devil at May 19, 2012 |
I am not sure why I hate my life and people. Everyone tells me how blessed I am. I guess Im just sick of hearing it. My brother molested me when I was younger, there friends did as well. I am not even sure they know have they screwed up my life.
My mother always seemed preoccupied with stuff rather than her family and my dad worked all the time. I have always felt alone and not wanted.
Now that I m older, I met a man and got married, I had twins with him and I hate my kids. I wish they were never born. I think of killing myself all the time. I am so depressed that i just lock them in their room and never leave the house. I can't stand for my husband to touch me, I don't know how it will ever get better.
I want to adopt out the kids so I don't ruin their lives, but my husband says no. Of course he gets to go to work all day and does not have to listen to two 2 year olds scream all day. I mean scream, there has not been 1 day that they have ever not been screaming. They take turns, they fight, I can't go anywhere cause all they do is scream in the car. I think about driving off a cliff or going head first into a simi, but I am scared that I won't die, ill just get maimed.
Every time I leave the house and return I hope to come back and find that I have just had a nightmare and it is just me and my husband and my successful business. I think about getting a job but when I have checked around I would actually be paying out money every week... |
| | Posted by Pseudonymous Secret Unknown at May 19, 2012 |
This is not my life but a life exposed to many American children and many other children and their families across the world. The world has stooped to a level lower then anyone can imagine so low that more people each and every year are reduced to living on the streets and reduced to stealing to provide for their familes to live. As an American I believe that we as a living community can promote justice around the world to stop whatever ruins our live and the live of our children and our children's children to stop them from becoming sluts and thugs and bums that are taking drugs for no reason at all. The television show that are brodcasted to every paying televison costomer such as degrassi,pregnant in heels, jersey shore, and may other television shows are ruining the youth of this generation by promoting sex, drugs and violance into the minds of kid, teens and young adults alike and making them think its okay for them to live like that. Do you really want your children to live like that and if you are a child (ranking from anyone who's old enough to read and understand what im saying) do you really want to grow up like this, in a world where hundreds of people get murdered on the streets daily and people sell illegal drugs to make a quick buck and many other horrable things? I believe we as a community of people not just of my country of America but of every country through out the world can see to it that our beloved people of the earth shall not perish with the thoug... |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 19, 2012 |
I suppose in the last 10 years of my life, during numerous hard times, the one thing that has kept me going is the idea: 'things will get better'. Put simply, they just havent.
I see a lot of solutions put forward by people on this site and elsewhere, and know that i have tried many. Religion, Diet, Exercise, Drugs, Natural Therapies, Natural Substances, Change of Routine, Counselling, Positive Outlook, Charity Work Keeping Busy, blah blah i could go on. None of them have proven to be a solution.
Right now, i should be peaking in life. Im 24 and probably at my physical and mental best. Ive learned much in these last 10 years, become stronger, smarter, more aware, more independent, more skillfull, wealthier, but my will to go on with this life is waning.
My motivation, self confidence, happiness, and hopes of a bright future all disappeared years ago and never looked like coming back. All that is left now is anxiety and depression, a vicous cycle of the two. This has also lead to various other health implications. It should go without saying that ive never had a close relationship with anyone in my entire life.
Spending so much time alone as i do, for what seems like forever ive asked questions, am i different somehow? is there something medically wrong with me? (Not that i know of) why do other people socialise and fit in and pick up things so easily? Why am i excluded? How are people so happy with their lot? Dont they see all their i... |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 19, 2012 |
I'm a 19 year old college student living in a shit hole house with my shameless, lazy, cigarette smoking, welfare collecting mother, my sister, and their shedding, shitting, and pissing machines they call cats. My parents have been divorced for years; I haven't spoken to my father in over 6 months because he's a megalomaniacal, one track minded asshole. I don't even bother trying to contact him anymore.
I work a shit minimum wage job with people I care about but can't get close to, because I come off as an over-intelligent, pompous asshole when I'm really just trying to be insightful and friendly. I'm also in love with one of my co-workers; I've told her how I feel and she just wants to stay friends. Despite this, I can't seem to accept it and fucking move on.
I feel like a fucking outcast because of the way I think.
I constantly have to bring myself down to the thought level of a child just to communicate with possible friends and girlfriends.
I get turned down for high paying jobs I qualify for because of my age.
I feel that my opinion doesn't matter to anyone.
I'm the best at everything I do, but too humble to show off.
I'm fucking sick of competing in this god forsaken money rat race.
I want to try and better the world before I die, but I'm conflicted with my conditioned hatred for my own species.
And aside from this little post, I never bitch to anyone. I keep this shit inside because I like playing the part of the all-accepting, ever-loving, good guy of my circle. Everyone can just suck my dick. I'm a fucking closet misanthrope who just wants to have one thing in his life go the way he wants it. But alas, even when I forcefully take the things I want, they just blow up in my face.
Fuck the world. |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 19, 2012 |
I hate my life. I feel trapped in a prison of hell and I can't get out. I've grown up my whole life with divorced parents my fathers an alcoholic women beater and a wonderful mother who only cares about men and her appearance. I've been beaten my whole life, I've bee starved, my clothing taken away, molested, and just alone. I've lived with at least every family member because no one ever wanted to take care of me they passed me around like I was a hot potato. Never really had any friends and when I did something crazy would always happen for no reason can't have relationships with men either every time I do I'm either getting used for sex or cheated on because I'm just the one they want on there arm not to love. Every one important in my life or remotely important has died I've been to more funerals in my life in the past 20 years than most people do in there life. I just wish my life was better I'm depressed I can't ever seem to get myself out of my bed I'm always angry for nothing I just want to end it all maybe I wouldn't hurt anymore. |
| | Posted by ace at May 19, 2012 |
Started out life in a wealthy family. Parents divorced, and the rich parent decided to bail on us.
Living in poverty, I managed to get an excellent education, and met the girl of my dreams who still haunts my thoughts 12 years later. We dated for 5 years, but while deciding on colleges she decided to follow her dreams and went to a different school (one the tuition was FAR too steep for me to attend). The relationship lasted another year and a half, but finally one day I had a bit of a meltdown because of the distance and begged her to come to school with me.
I made some bad choices. A few months later, she was dating one of the best friends I had in the world, because he was at her school and I wasn't. In that moment I lost two of the best friends I ever had.
About 8 months later I finally began getting lonely again and started dating. The girl I ended up with was a tramp and a very good liar. She would dress in work clothes and head out daily... a short time later did I find out she was only working 12 hours a week.
I decided to cool it with the ladies for a while and work on my own life, which I had been neglecting. Working hard in college, I was 3 months from 21 when a new girl in my life invited me to a party prior to exams. I decided to go and met a group of new people who accepted me right off the bat. We talked for a while, played some cards, and I had my first beer ever. Before I even finished the can we were busted by the cam... |
| | Posted by anonymous at May 19, 2012 |
I am 28. I live with my parents. I have a decent job, but it's also a dead end. I have no savings. The money I do earn goes to paying down debts. I have had no visitors to my home for more than five years. I have no friends. I am not yet 30, and I am a shut-in.
I am smart and capable and I have no interest in accomplishing anything in my life. There is no one left to impress, there is only the lingering dread of knowing that I will wake up and continue to disappoint those around me, or myself.
The worst thing is carrying around with me the knowledge that there is no great contest to win, even though that is what seems to motivate most people.
In my work I have had the chance to meet leaders, people of great influence and wealth. They brag without bragging. They say all the right, terrible things. Their success represents the failure of millions of people just like them. They are fucking cannibals, and they are treated like kings.
A part of me wants to die. The other part of me is too afraid.
So I work hard. I do my best, in the vain hope that someone else will care. But I know that won't happen, because they're like me. They're lost and confused and selfish, and there's no breaking the spell.
People try to cheer me up. They say things like, "There are people who kill to have the opportunities you have."
My answer is that is probably true, and that is totally fucked up.
Sex does not interest me, which... |
|