LIFE SUCKS : Relationship

A bit about me....

Growing up for me had its ups and downs. You were never bored as there was always work to be done living on a farm. I’m the oldest of four, but now there is only three. My youngest sister died at the tender age of nine months- Sudden Infant Death Syndrome or SIDS. It was the day after Christmas when my mom found Sophie dead in her crib. The scene still imprinted in my brain- my mom wailing hysterically on the floor over her little body- everyone, the paramedics, police, all standing around unsure of what to do…. My dad cornered me in the bathroom, his eyes bloodshot: “We have to be strong and get through this”. It took YEARS for my mother to return to a “normal” state of mind. Sophie’s death almost tore the family apart. When I turned 18, I rebelled, moved in with my Uncle so I could grow weed and hang out with my friends without a curfew. There were strings attached. I was lying on the front lawn sunbathing when the first episodes started. First there would be a “massage” then eventually at night came the blow job demands. I moved out soon after, living from boyfriend to boyfriend until I graduated from highschool. After graduation, I moved out West, worked for a ski area and can honestly say that it was the happiest time of my life… The molestations were tucked far away in the back of the closet… Eventually though, I moved back to my hometown. I rarely saw my Uncle, it was always awkward. He was my father’s brother for god’s sake- I couldn’t say anything, or else my fa...

To start off I want to thank you all for having the compassion and the caring to care about the trials and draining trivialities of a strangers life.

I've never been one to complain about my life, I am one of those lucky people who has learned optimism from despair. I confronted every childhood trauma with a naive optimism; but it is not my past which is haunting me, rather it is my future which is frightening me. I just turned 18 years old-- walking that precarious line between the fervor of youth and the responsibilities of an adult.

I have a girlfriend who I LOVE with all my heart, she is the most magnificent girl I've ever met! but that's my problem, she's so incredibly beautiful and intelligent and I know that she can do better than me; everday I search myself to discover what I could have done to deserve her, and always I am met with the emptiness a lottery winner must feel-- I have done nothing to earn my fortune, there is nothing special about me! as a result I feel like I am failing the most spectacular girl in the world, the most meaningful person on the planet, she seems so happy when she's with me I have no idea why...

Next year she is going off to university to pursue her dreams, to start her own NGO, to change the world; and there is no doubt in my mind that she will succeed. But I will be left here in this cesspool they call "london, ontario"to finish high-school. I don't know what I'm g...

Life is cruel

I don't know were to start this one. I met the love of my life, we were inseparable, I got a long with her family, she had a big family and her sisters liked me and were very supportive. We got married. We shared almost everything, even each others bad luck and hard times. She could have been with someone more financially stable but she chose me and loved me for who I was, treated me well, cared for me she was my best friend and my wife, my whole universe. Seeing her die broke me so bad I don't think I could ever be normal again. I've struggled so much in my life, it's like she was my only hope. My parents really were fuck ups and made my childhood hard, my mom left when I was a teenager (I still have no idea were my family is, including my younger brother and sister cuz she took them with her) and I grew up homeless and traveling around like a nomad. I pulled myself together and got into music, learned how to rap make beats, my best friend and rap partner was killed first which was a devastating blow. Slowly I saw the people that were nice to me in life and loving and supportive die one by one, till me and my wife were all that was left of what felt like my family. When her health took a turn for the worst, the doctor said she couldn't work and I got fired from my job so ended up homeless anyway. Public assistance did nothing to help, as a matter of fact they deliberately did everything they could to make sure we never received housing and that she couldn't get medica...

Could be worse, I guess

Let me start off that I married the love my life, knew her since second grade, but it took an awkward course to get to that point. I carried a torch for her for many years, even after she got pregnant and married another man. I always hoped the best for her. Well, she left the dork, and had partial custody to the kid. She slept around a bit (didn't know this till later).

She looked me up many years later and we got together, but her son and I never really got along well. The first day I met him, I made them a spaghetti dinner. When I was holding my plate of spaghetti and she was helping him to get something off the top of the fridge, he turned and spat right into my plate of spaghetti. At the moment, I wondered if I shouldn't have left just because of him. The spoiled little brat. I forgave him for it. Big deal kids can do that, and how many men did he see go through his mother's life. I was just another number to him.

Before were married, she cheated on me twice. One she admitted to, the other I guessed, but never confronted her. We did get married, and in our 15 years of marriage, I never had the suspicion that she cheated. At least, I hoped she didn't. I try to trust, but I always have that little nagging voice in the back of my head. I loved her, but it felt like she never ever really truly loved me back. Lately, it feels as if something "broke" inside of me, and it feels like I'm having a hard time loving her. Things changed she lost her...

I moved interstate to be with the woman I love. My new boss invited me and her over to dinner at her place, with her roommate. Months went past, and now she tells me she loves the roommate, and not me. I can't afford to move out, so I spend every night sleeping in the same bed, a foot away from the woman I desperately want to hold, or even just touch, and not being able to. Every night my pillow is wet, but she never notices me crying. It's killing me, being so close to her, and never quite making the distance. I have no idea what I did to take away her love.

It's Never Enough

I left the military to finish school, but ultimately to be with a woman who was also an officer in the military.When I got out we got married. Things were up and down and alot of pressure was on me to finish early, so I could get into gradschool, ultimately on a paid scholarship through the military.

When it started looking like I may not get in and put all my eggs in one basket, she started cheating on me. I actually caught her red handed, but in the midst of it I had to break the law, I also got my ass beat in the process. Then i didn't get into the program. I cant really report her, or they'd probly prosecute me which would make it difficult to get a good government job back. It also makes my part in negotiating the divorce really weak, but regardless I dont want a divorce.

Here I am trying to finish 33 hours of college in one semester but I can't focus because I'm trying to win my wife back, I'm giving everything I can to make it work between us and her idea of trying is not seeing the guy, who is still trying to pursue her. She works with him and she cant really change jobs so she's always there. I seriously contemplated killing myself multiple times through this semester. Some times I just wish I had been killed overseas.

I took the idea of this marriage really seriously, and even though she treats me like shit I cant imagine life without her. I watch things like The Secret, and have been aware that it works but it doesnt seem to be in this case, I keep trying but I feel like I"m just banging my head against a wall. I'm writing this to hopefully dumb the negative energy.

How did it turn out like this?

I was always a sensitive child but I was really outgoing. I loved life but things started to change. As a child I loved to be with people and just have a good time. If a person, if I knew them or not, was in trouble and no one would stand up for them I would!!! I hated to see people get hurt. Even though I would do anything to help my friends the sad truth was that they wouldn't do the same for me. When I was younger I would get teased a lot (i guess it really couldn't be helpped since I always got in the way of bullies) and since we were always moving I never had long time friends. when I turned ten, my family and I moved to another state and by then I felt broken. I couldn't trust anyone. I thought they were all the same. 'they will hurt me...if I get close...they will hurt me', was all I could think about. A few years pasd and I met a girl. At first she was strange and I avoided but she kept coming back and talking to me. She was so kind and funny that I started to relax a little. Later on I found out she had many problems of her own and I thought that we could be there for each other. I thought that I could be useful because she needed me to comfort her. I let my guard down and we became close friends. As the nex school year started she changed. I guess she got tired of me because she traded me for a new girl who transfered to our school. I didnt mind that she had friends but she only saw this new girl. The only times she talked to me was when she needed something...

from sara with love

For 2 years, we have been apart - my boyfriend in the US, myself in Europe. Now I guess he does not love me anymore. He seems to think I'm a bad person, selfish and only math-smart. Maybe he is right on that, sometimes I don't like myself that much either... My education, as high as an Ivy Mount Everest, does not stop me from being depressed.

I still love him, still love those memories of us. He is kind and cute and funny. He says silly things in that american way that makes me smile. So I'm sure that, no matter what, I will always care for him. And miss him.

I'm sorry about the rant, I know it doesn't compare to many of the truly sad stories I have read here, but I just needed to get it out.

tired of living

My mother used to say, "I'm tired of living." I never fully understood what she meant, but now I believe she meant "I'm tired of living THIS WAY." I'm not living, I'm merely existing. I am now in my second year of looking for a job since graduating from college. Work has always been a drudgery for me, I have never had a fulfilling job. Now my husband is probably going to lose his job, and it puts even more pressure on me. It's taking a toll on our marriage, which I'm shocked is still together. I've become more and more withdrawn, which doesn't help my situation either. The insurance company stopped paying for my therapy, so I don't even have that outlet. I don't like the way life is now. So many processes are impersonal and unfair. People just don't care. There are times when I wish I would die, just so I don't have to contend with it any longer. I have never been suicidal and would never put anyone else at risk either. I feel like an alien. I don't like the world the way it is now and I don't feel I belong in it. But what other choice do I have? Now I understand why mom said, "I'm tired of living."

well where to start...I left school with top grades, then chose to do a dumb art course which i had to drop out of because my parents decided to move across the county, ironically the college i wanted to go to in the first place was ideally located for me to get to from my new home but they refused to help with travel, i had to quit my long term job due to this family move (i had always worked from the age of 11 whether it be a paper round or washing cars). When i got to this new strange town they informed me i had to get a full time job which i did, however 5 months into the job i badly hurt my ankle and they sacked me because i couldn't work while it was healing...then my parents kicked me out, no idea at the age of 17 what to expect and as a young woman i ended up sleeping in the middle of the woods by myself in the freezing cold, til i met an alcoholic who took me under his wing and introduced me to his friends who let me and him stay over some nights, i even remember ringing my mother telling her i was sleeping on the street and she didn't care, i never did anything wrong to her other than what most typical teenagers do like bringing friends who she didn't like round, anyways i got into a relationship with this alcoholic who treated me like rubbish and hit me, stole from me, on numerous occasions the police begged me to stay away from him but what option did i have? no family or friends in a complete new town, i have been hit with hammers, stabbed with scissors, hit ...

fightin for what i worked for!

so i worked my ass off and had a wife just got my farm paid off when i found my wife was doin my boss for yrs, well messy devorice, sold my house in the city to pay the ex out,and made a deal to subdevide the farm property to finish paying her out, i have put out my self over 280 thousand in bills with lawyers feees and such, i have worked my ass off and paid off everything myself, no help ,, everything was looking good finally after 7 yrs i was paid off, ,,, then i got a rash it covered all of me, and itch like crazy night and day, doc could not figure out what it was,becuse of not getting much sleep , i lost my job due to the rash, and there is not much for jobs here, just what i need, threw other testing from the doc it was discovered that i had a liver issue causing the rash, like exema symtoms ,then there right after ,doc tells me my spleen is enlarged,so great,what next, well there i was shoppin in a store when i got this pain in my chest sweating in a daze, i get my self to the hostpital and here im haveing a hart atack,,, i got threw that, finding out also i have copd,,, like for fuck sakes!! i need to go back to work,and now i can,t work,, im not abil to ,so here i sit on my farm screwed,, no girl ,, goin broke no nothin can,t evin sell the farm becuse the exs name is still on it, till she gets paid out and ill be fucked if i stoop to her level,,i hope to god i can get threw this and get back to work soon, but the way it,s looking is not good . sometimes id rather just give up if yo uknow what i meen, but i worked hard all my life and desirve better,, what the fuck would you do, im comin to a loss here

I met the boy of my dreams the day someone else moved into my apartment. I loved that person, but we were completely wrong for each other. I helped him come out as bi and trans, and we tried an open relationship, but he broke the terms we set repeatedly and didn't care if it hurt me. I lost a lot of friends for dating a boy instead of a girl and because friends didn't like him, so I wanted to try to make it work, and tried for nearly 2 years. I'm stubborn like that.

I broke up with him and got together with the aforementioned boy of my dreams, only we slept together while I was with the other person.

If my self esteem didn't hurt enough from being cheated on, around the same time I exhausted 99 weeks of unemployment. I spent 2 months with no income. I sold some things I loved and had sex with some people to make rent. No one knows about the sex part. It is the scariest thing I've ever experienced. I still have nightmares about being evicted from my apartment, my cats dying of starvation, etc. It was made worse because when I went to interviews and then later to a job where they treated me like a retard who should be grateful to get paid $75/week and told me they would give me more than eight hours a week only if I was able to singlehandedly make up for all their poor business choices. When they fired me, I tried to kill myself.


I have debts I can't pay. They call me on average of 3 times a day. I finally got not only one job but three brie...

My crappy life

I was bullies from elementary school to high school till the point I had to drop out. My parents lost there jobs and turned to drugs which made us so poor at one point we had no hot water for a year. I then moved out at age 16 and hung out with a bad group of people which caused me to have alot of betraying friends and boyfriends. At age 19 I met my fiancé who I had a beautiful child with and to say the least it was like living with a room mate he was never home to help me with our child but at the same time he was still an amazing man and did alot of great things to make me love him.. Last christmas I found out I was pregnant and lost the baby which caused alot of fighting between us causing us to go on a break. He moved out and said he was living at a hotel but we were still seeing eachother and sleeping with eachother.. A month after our seperating I got a call saying he had been shot and was dead two hours after he had called me saying he was gonna pick up our son for a sleep over.. A month after his death I found out he was having a love affair with one of his old girlfriends and everything he was saying to me about getting bak together was a lie.... My life is miserable

prego

Well, I feel like I have hit the rock bottom of my life. I always hated young females in the area that I lived, that got knocked up by these no life guys. The guys that drink, smoke weed, hang around outside and have no big dream or big goal. And if tthey did, there way of getting there would be illegally. I hated those guys and I hated the girls they knocked up. It turns out I ended up being one of those gurls. Am 20 years old and I'm about to give birth in two months to a girl with no daddy. I mean the dad is around but he's deadbeat. He hasn't done one thing for me throughout the pregnancy. He only blew up my phone everyday like 5 times a day to talk. What the hell is talking going to do for me. I gaved him attitude and hatred everytime he called and he still didn't get the hint. I don't even understand why he called so much. It has been annoyingn. The last time I talked to him, I asked him for money to buy the baby stuff and he just disappeared, stop calling. He would call before that and tell me that he was going to come over to talk and never did that. Always left me waiting, it was like a game to him. I was a game to him. And now here I am with an unborn child, not even ready to be a mother. I know that sounds immmature. I truly regret this whole situtation. Am finding it a hard time to get income because no one wants to hire a preggnant woman. My mother has kept me under her roof as of know but deep down I don't feel like she's happy that am there.she pays all the bills and I understand her anger I suppose. I dontt know what to do. Am looking for work so hard and its bullshitt because am the only one pressured to work. U believe that. I have brothers and sister and the pregnant one is the one required to bring income. No one needs to take responsibility but myself in this godamn house.. and I can't move out yet. Idont know what to do. Am depressed

love and cheat

i have been with my boyfriend for three month ,and i spend almost two month acting as some other boys'girlfriend .We met on the network ,and that moment i was just find my ex cheating and playing my love , then i ask him to be my boy friend.I never know him before ,he was shocked by me ,but finally and without any struggle he falls love with me .Until now i still think he is so easy to get ,haha , but i know he is a good boy ,very very good boy,so i always thinking he is not like many guys i met .And the life with him is very peaceful,we rarely quarrel,he always offline so i cant see him at most time.He always whether i am angry with him ,but i didn't ,I think i dont love him very much ,i dont care if he is here or not.He is really not a good boyfriend ,he is quiet,shy(he said he is very shy talking to girls) and obvious dont have any experience and i dont have much experience too.We dont have words to talk ,i feel we are like an old couple,have no passion.I dont know why i still with him or he still with me , perhaps i am too lonely ,or maybe i think he really loved me.
I am not a good girlfriend which is obvious,thats why i feel guilty and always try to cherish him.But i cheat a lot, i promised never tell lies to him and i hate lies very very much,i am so selfish i know it.Everytime he talked to me about the future,and asked me to wait him,i promised very easily because i know we dont have a future.
I hope he is just playing a game with me just like my ex bf did...

So tired!

I am so tired of life! I spend all my life under constant criticism, at work and at home. I love my baby girl but I cannot seem to do anything right around my husband, her father. I can't leave him as he has all the financial control for the household and although I hAve thought about it more than once, I cN't kill myself as I love my daughter too much!!

lonly life

Im a woman of 33 and I have 2 kids. I earn a good money, i have a good job, house, car and everything i need for a good life. But I fell in love with a married man, who decided to reunited with his wife and who left me. The story old like this world. Fell in love with a wrong guy. I had just 2 men in my life - my ex husband and him. Now Im alone, absolutlly alone. Kids are far away from me now, coz im working in another country and I have no single friend, not talking about a boyfriend. I have no one - absolutly no one who can just hug me and say something or cuddle up with me. I wish to have someone special in this life near me. Even now, sitting in this luxery hotel room in a spa hotel - i wish to die.

More than broken

I never meet the right boys, I only meet jerks. Of course this time I thought it was different, but it weren't. Me and some of my friends went to 'visit' a few guys one Friday night, and I didn't know any of them. The first thing I noticed when i walked into the living room, was the extremely good-looking guy sitting on the couch. For Christs sake, why would a guy like that be interested in me? So I let it be, hardly spoke to him.
A few weeks later I was nearly too drunk to stand up straight, and I was video-chatting with him and some friends on facebook. I decided to visit them, alone. Went out at 1am, and started walking. Long story short: I slept with him that night. Longer story short: We started hanging out, and we both acted like we were deeply in love.
Did I mention that he is a drug abuser who drinks every day and sometimes stays high on weed for days? Well.
One day he just stopped answering me, and he haven't respond to me since. I'm pretty sure he's sleeping with this other girl, and they probably did when he was with me too.
I think I started to love him, and I still can't eat, sleep or concentrate like before. All I'm thinking is "why?" and "what if?"

Long Time Ago

Many years ago I met the love of my life. She had everything including a voice that could melt an angels heart. However, I did not appreciate her, acted like a disinterested ass, and lost her. Now 20 years later I still think of her, dream of her, talk about her and even smell her perfume.
I have been married for almost 15 years but it failed because I couldn't love my wife. I can't love anyone but that one girl. Now I am a divorced single father of two great girls for whom I have sole custody. They are my only happiness. The girl I love is happily married-50% divorce rate and I can't get a break-and I am alone. It's very hard because I know it's my fault she's gone.

My Life in a Nutshell

Hello, my name is Daniel and my life is a big fat pile of crap. I find myself living paycheck to paycheck with so many bills to pay and three different sources of low-income. I get a very small paycheck from two of my really part-time jobs every other week, and I get a decent check from the government to save my ass from being eaten alive. It's really frustrating trying to manage three different incomes and the only reason I get the last check is because I broke my neck 5 months ago.

Which brings me to the next topic--I broke (yes, BROKE) my neck december of 2011 and life has been hard since. I am lucky to be alive and not paralyzed; however, sometimes I just wish I was lucky enough to not break it in the first place. Why? because I'm not nearly as fit as I was before, my dreams of being a professional performing artist have gone down the drain, everybody forgot about me and moved on while I was out of commission and recovering alone at my house for 3 months, and people look at my surgical scars like I'm a freak or they treat me like I'm fragile.

Speaking of scars.. I have been breaking out a lot in the past year and almost every pimple that I got left a scar. Can you imagine how many I have on my face now? Most of them are jawline and cheek acne, but lately I've been breaking out on my forehead as well. Not fun. I've been taking this problem very seriously for the past 3 months and made some progress, but now it is time for me to rid my face of these h...