OK. Well to start off, I'm young ( not going to say my age sorry) and I though my life was good until a year ago. That is when I started to have sucidal thoughts. I spoke to a few people, and I convinced myself it was just a phase. Well just a few months the sucidal thoughts came, again. I simply just brushed it off, thinking it was just another phase, but then I realized I was getting more and more depressed. I went to get help, but that didn't help, so I decided to bottle up my emotions. Time passed, and I was getting a little better with the help of friends and family. Then this guy I REALLY liked, hurt me so much I started to self-harm myself. By that time I only had 2 good friends who I told what I did. They didn't like it. But not even a week later he hurts me again, and even one of my good friend, who I shall call Brenda. The two of them ( Brenda and the guy I shall call Ryan) were friends WAY before I met them. Mind you we were all best friends until Ryan hurt us both. We then decided not to speak to him, until he says sorry. We have been waiting for 2 months for him to say sorry to us, we have already given up. Knowing that he won't. Just recently, I had a fight with Brenda, and were not speaking. My parents aren't speaking to me either, and my other good friend is dead, from cancer. It seems like everyone is out to hurt me, weather they know it or not. Right now I have no one, and I am getting more and more depressed each day. I have an empty void, which is ?only becoming more bigger. People I see, I put on a facade for them, fake laughs, fake smiles, fake.... everything. I don't know how much I can take this. I don't know how much I can take people prentending to care when they don't. It hurts, it still does. But what do I do? Bottle my emotions up, and fake everything else. Right now I'm on the breaking point. I just dont care about my life anymore, I'm sick of it. I have finally given up. Goodbye. | |
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