|Posted by bark at the moon dingo at June 18, 2012
but no one trusts me anymore. i had explosive fits of rage in years gone by..with may times resulting in alienation of friends and family...and co-workers filing grievances..but that was at least in 1995 or96...cripes..when will these people let it go? its not like i murdered anyone?..they all seem to act like its any minute now im going to bust up and start smashing things again....my stupid co-workers will purposely try to aggravate me...and then cower together and say ohoh--he's gonna blow his top...like they enjoy seeing people meltdown which by the way stopped completely years ago..and instigate problems like i was supposed to do like dennis leary did in the movie with dr dre and ed lover.a cops movie...too bad you dolts you probably will never see me perform badly like i used to...because if i had the same damn temper as i used to then i would have already ripped your heads off and **** down your ?@#$% necks...so for the love of God..give me a chance to change..and stop egging on the petty and grand mal annoyances and let me live the remaining balance of my life in peace and harmony......a leopard may not change its spots...but my testosterone level is much lower than in my teens and twenties... so im less likely to have those stupid flare-ups... if there is anything that would make me furious..its people only remembering the past..and not giving me the benefit of any doubt...its almost like they have a sick sense of wanting to see peoples evil side... it i...
|Posted by Nick at June 3, 2012
well I started drinking and got into a verbal altercation with my brother in front of a family of 4 who were our guests at the time. i screamed at some guy across the street "what the fuck are you looking at bitch" from inside my living room he could hear me yelling. it's going to make it harder to go outside, just another mess up I can add onto laying in my own vomite while drunk, and being absolutely stark raving mad and behaving like a manisac for YEARS. I screamed at my mom about "THE HELL YOU GAVE ME" referring to my life and I left and hitchicked just to have to call mommy and ask her to pick me up the next day (today). now I'm going to quit the paper route. I finally agreed to try SSRI's. I'm stuck, I am a freak and a village idiot and I have severe depression and social anxiety. O and what started my anger build up this week was my brother who has nothing better to do than verbally abuse me whenever he feels like calling me a few choice words a few times each in the span of like 30 seconds.
|Posted by RCY at May 10, 2012
I hate my fucking life, been married for 5 years, 2nd time with the same woman, we were married in 1999 divorced 2001 then remarried 2007.. I have anger issues which she does seem to understand that her kids SUCK.. They don't give a fuck about me, her or the house.. They treat my and the wife like fucking slaves. So last week I lost it just lost it and then we seem to put eventhing back together I apologized again for my outburst but it doesn't matter. I told her how i felt like an outsider - nothing.. Now the 2 little fucks are graduating college and we're having a party for them and I don't want to be here.. This weekend I am meeting with some friends to watch hockey, drink beer and eat burgers just before the party on Saturday night.. I plan on riding my HOG to meet the boys, can't promise I will come back at all. If the opportunity presents itself I am going to look for a way out of this measible rotton life. Yeh I know ge thelp, so fucking what. Even if I get help I am on double secret probation and cant even get the least bit ticked off or it's fucking divorce.. I am so fucking tired of all this stress and not feeling like I matter to this woman.. No matter what I do how well I overcome this obstacle I still end up a looser.. WORD to all of you DON'T FUCKING GET MARRIED.. It's not worth.. I am sure this bitch of mine has already talked to a lawyer. So if I self terminate like I plan she get's nothing - slit the wrist, take some pills, blow my head off - she gets 0.. Perhaps that's the way out.
|Posted by strange kid at March 30, 2012
I have nothing but hatred for everone.
(yes i really do, naw only when i look at everyone else and seee what they have done and accomplished. proud of them)
I have anger management problems. Not normal ones though. Their quite strange. Sometimes I get so mad that I just sit there-- shaking, saying in my mind "God kill me now dammit!".
(hmm, i must admit that happens alot but i remind myself that i am ok)
I also tend to get really jealous of people sometimes. I admit it, I have serious issues.
(true true happens to most peolpe well thats what i tell myself but i know tis true)
most people tell me I have too much patience and often comment that they would burst long before I do.
(i guess that is good for the most part, plenty of patience..that is good if i say so myself*smiles*)
I know that I should probably try harder in life, and some of my problems are my own fault, but its just so hard. I see all these different people in this world, and no one seems to want to get along with each other. Most people seem to enjoy contributing to this endless cycle of hate and pain, which really makes me sad
(well, everyone goes through their own sort of pain and everyone suffers in their own way, right? so really, doesnt make me sad)
if he or she fails, they try again, no matter what, no matter how many times. And so I think to myself, why do I still do nothing. Or rather, why donít I change something. While knowing that talking about all of this...
|Posted by jrl23 at February 24, 2012
I'm 19 years old and have absolutely no family. I'm not suicidal, nor have I ever thought about it. My mom left me at 4. I've never met my dad, let alone a hint. I lived with my grandmother uniformity she passed away. So I lived in foster care from 14 till 18. I dropped out at 16 and got my g.e.d, and started working. I have a decent job but its frustrating. I don't fuck with with people. I don't consider people my friends. Fuck friends there bullshit. Bitches make me mad too. I mean, getting layed is not a issue, it's trying to find love. I mean no one loves me!!! No one. I'm all alone. It made me angry, made me hate people. I fucking hate people with families. I'm broke as shit cause I have to buy all my shit! I hate people with parents. Especially ones with money that pay for all thier shit. I try to find the good in life there's just so much shit I don't have that others do. I'm so alone. I want to be loved! Why me!! I know a dumb bitch won't love me. I'm talking about the real shit. Unconditional love. I always think why me. It rages inside me. If there is a god I'm pissed off at his ass too. I doubt there is though, I've prayed so much when I was younger and nothing happened. I know ill never have a family and ill probably never be shit. Too many disadvantages. I mean no one understands the pain. To be absolutely alone at my age. It's unfair. If you have a, as in 1 family member your fucking blessed! Families disgusting me now. I hate all that shit. Cause ill never have it. I honestly have no fucking clue what life has in store in for me. But I guarantee it will suck ass and I'm won't be able to see what good shit is there, because of all the shit I don't have that I'm reminded of everyday by you motherfuckers. So big thanks so everything, if gods ass exists then him too. Im just so angry all the time. I fucking hate everything.
|Posted by anonymous at January 3, 2012
When I was younger my dad was a cocaine addict and abused my mum, my mum was in and out of hospital because of my dad. Dad eventually got kicked out by the police and me and my younger brother didn't see him for 4 years. I know I haven't got a bad life compared to a lot of people. Whilst we didn't see my dad I started to comfort eat and self harm, our family was broke and my mum had to take money from our piggy banks just to stop our home being repossessed numerous times. There was loads of other shit going on at the time but I don't want to keep going on... My mum has bipolar, so when I am around her now it's like walking on eggshells and you never know how she is going to react to what she says. My dad has been arrested recently, it was even on BBC news so now loads of people around me know about it and now think i'm some sort of criminal. I'm really scared he is going to go back in prison when we have only just got our relationship back on track then we are on our own and back to scrounging for money. We found out just after my dad had been arrested that my mum might have cancer again so I could be left with no mum and a dad in prison. My mum is falling apart because of this, I now have deal with this as my little brother is just a typical 14 year old and hates everyone and everything, mostly just spends his time in his room or out with his friends. During this time I seem to be getting angrier and angrier, I have no time to go out with friends or even do work and revision for my A level exams, I don't want to start self harming again as when I did I was in a really bad place. I just don't know if I will cope with all this, but I don't want to moan as I know there are a lot of people worse off than me. I just needed to off load some emotions as I can't even tell any of my friends.
|Posted by P at December 24, 2011
As of lately, I seem to be loosing more and more friends. It seems like they only want to be where the party is. They say I work too hard and it makes me boring. But isn't school necessary to a happy life? Isn't it worth sacrificing the now for the later? I'v become extremely lonely. It's been about 4-5 months since my last relationship. Whenever I seem to be building on something, relationship wise, it always ends up in the same place. With nothing. I have an increasingly growing anger issue. I have never fought anyone because of it but i feel that i'm getting closer and closer to breaking. I don't know if i can deal with it much longer.
|Posted by lost at December 7, 2011
Hi. My life has been really great, I have a seven year old girl a three year old boy and a great wife. Recently I got into a fight with my wife because I was drinking. I left in a rage and wrecked my vehicle also getting a DWI. I haven't gone to court yet, but will loose my liscense for one year and of course I have no vehicle. Thats not what sucks. My wife took the kids and moved in with her parents. She says she still loves me but is not helping me through these tough times, it's as though she is teaching me a lesson. Ever since I have been with her, 11 years, I have been treated like a child. I rarely make a decision on my own, I am not my own person. I have to bum rides to work and from work home. On nice days I walk home, (a one hour walk, good exercise), but I still need a ride to work. She said she will give me a ride once in a while. I am so alone and have been drinking every night to battle the depression. I am such a broken man that I feel soo much like giving up and starting over. I am so scared that it is not even funny. I am scared because I don't want to loose my family and I keep playing these mind games with myself that I have already lost them. Well, at least I have a job, my health. Maybe time will help.
|Posted by anonymous at October 16, 2011
im 27 years old, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, im very smart but english has always held me back, i could not go to college full time while holding a full time 40+ hr a week job to pay for it, dropped out of college and have yet to earn a livable wage, still live with my mother, have no friends, been unemployed for the past 20 months, started experimenting with drugs after my brother(the person i look up to) was almost killed some 5 years ago, all the "friends" i use to have all stabbed me in the back or used me to get what they want. since my unemployment i started taking more drugs to stay calm and to not be so damn depressed, now i can not take any because i am a raging homicidal maniac who will kill at the first chance i get if i were to let myself into society and i can not control my anger any more
|Posted by teenage kid at August 19, 2011
J'ai quinze (15) ans (years) My whole life my mother's lied to me about everything
(literally) Ive gotten so frustrated angered and depressed my whole life that i have outbursts of uncontrollable rage; broke 2 of my phones, 2 my laptops and my ipod over last 5 months. Plus ive barely talked 2 my father my whole life eventhough we live in the same house (my parents are together without problems), only tym i eve talk 2 him is when he lectures me.
Im introvert but im smart, especially in math, physics and i program computers.
been wanting to kill myself last 12 months and my mother still doesn't listen 2 anything I say, takes me like a joke.
on top of that because my mum is unemployed and my dad only has $50k in his account, and i hav 2 brothers, my plans 2 go 2 mit or cornell, and escape this life are over. gonna hav 2 endure hell for the rest of my life.
Hated both my parents since i was 10 and still hav 3 more years of looking at their faces
|Posted by S89 at August 16, 2011
The anger is so intense...anger at myself. Anger at my family. Anger at the situation. Anger about why things are the way they are.
5 years ago I was 16. My sister had a brain injury at the age of 19. Her independence, her job, her confidence, her friends, her potential in life was taken away. She is wheelchair bound and visually impaired.
My dad is depressed. He takes it out on us. All the time. Snide comments, looks, actions, constantly grinding me down. Walking on eggshells. It wrips my heart to bits to see the family so broken. No one understands because on the outside everything looks fine, I'm a normal 21 year old at university. So to the world everything is fine.
My mum ignores the situation. Never deals with anything, plays happy families and pretends everything is ok. Frustration.
My twin sister and I have grown apart. She has a busy life of her own and has little time left to listen to me. I'm so lonely. I'm in a lonely place Sad. Angry. Frustrated. Life sucks.
|Posted by anonymous at August 4, 2011
on sick leave from big time job, im on seraquel 300 xl for major depression, lost 30% of my salary,lost 15 pounds. i cant get bonners no more cause dam pill.pills so hard that could knock down fucking horse. kids r off to my parents, f i dont get kill a may kill someone, im frustrated, angry , pistoff of my life, . just had my dog euthanize cause started to hate her, only way im happy, is when im alone in my head. family to my shot guns away, ( wonder why). anty fucking dying cause dam cancer. and to top it all, fucking raining outside again
|Posted by Asfuked at July 25, 2011
At 35 year old, I've accomplished everything a nice career, a big house a wife and a kid, everything is going to the right direction, until I quit my job and lost everything..... I wanted to shoot my ex boss and colleagues..... I'll probably kill them all
|Posted by blah blah black sheep at May 12, 2011
I know I hate the peoples but I have to try to keep my anger in my heart cause I still need to see them every working day and the most of your times every week.
I know I got fed up with the job but I can't leave it cause I have to pay my rent, my car and my daily expenses.
I want to get my own private living place but the so called salary can't even effort a house.
I know I need to get away from these negative thoughts and go along with what I have now but I still cannot ignore the fact that the "volcano" will be erupt inside of me soon enough.
|Posted by fuck at April 29, 2011
i have a baby a wife no mother fucking job mother in law makes me want to kill self no were will fucking hire me im ready to go jump off a fucking clif i hate these new fucking online apps dont know what the fuck im doing i hate my mother fucking life
|Posted by rageface at April 11, 2011
I can't stand my father anymore. I've gone through an extremely difficult break up. I'm merely 17 years old, yet I maintained a relationship that went of shy of 3 years. I loved her very much, and she claims to still love me. I hope we can get back together one day. But the main point of this is...
FUCK MY FUCKING DAD. HE CAN ROT IN HELL THE STUPID PRICK OF A COCK. HE NEEDS TO LEARN WHEN TO SYMPATHISE AND WHEN TO BACK OFF AND JUST BE GENEROUS IN HIS NATURE. I HATE HIM SO MUCH.
Anyway, capitals end. I wish to God - though I am in no way religious, that my girlfriend and I could simply get back together, move out and have slow sundays in bed. Damn it makes me wish to cry. Life is never that simple though, is it?
|Posted by GODDAMNSONOFABITCH at March 30, 2011
I have nothing but hatred for everone. Every single one of you fuckers are nothing but dumbass pieces of shit. I'll never be fucking happy and I've accepted that but goddamn on a firey cross why do I have to be surrounded by fucking morons who don't know their dick from their elbow? Every day I feel myself closer to the edge of madness. Either someone kill me or I'll end up killing someone. Fuck life, fuck America, fuck the world, and fuck you.
|Posted by anonymous at December 26, 2010
Well I like to go by the name Lioheart (no, i didnt forget the "N", it really is Lioheart.) so yeah. Here I am... now if I could just GTFO.... Nevermind that! I'm here to tell you a story about "how messed up and crappy life is" like that am I right? Yeah, I got the dealio.
Well, my depression started in 5th grade when I finally realized that NOTHING could really make me well... cheerful again. I was kind of putting on a fake little show for everyone, pretending to be happy, giving fake smiles to everyone. I felt like some pathetic puppet, saying what everyone wanted to hear. Really though, I was dying inside.
I have anger management problems. Not normal ones though. Their quite strange. Sometimes I get so mad that I just sit there-- shaking, saying in my mind "God kill me now dammit!". No lies. Other times (I even do this without realizing it too) I kind of scratch myself with my own fingernails on a certain part of my hand. I'm VERY sensitive to pain but I don't even feel that(well mostly not)! I have journal *cough* diary *cough cough* that I write in, but I normally just end up reading it over and over, getting more stressed out and angry. I often remember small fights (talking- not physical, I don't wanna kill anyone... well I do but think of the consequences dammit!) I had with random people and I get so upset, and maybe even suicidal. I also tend to get really jealous of people sometimes. I admit it, I have serious issues.
Mainly, its stupid peop...
|Posted by hatemymomanddad at December 17, 2010
I fucken hate those stupid mother fuckin cunts. Stupid son of fucken bitch. I want them to fucken die stupid donkey dicks. Stupid mother fuckin prostitute has no fucken means once so ever! I wish they go and fuck themselves. STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate them with a deep fuckin passion. Stupid dusce bags they fuck my life up. Stupid homos. I freckin kiss the fuckin floor they walk on and I fuckin get yelled at for this what the fuck fuck fuck de de fuck. I HATE THOSE STUPID FUCKEN HOMOS! The little cunts they fuckin are. STUPID ASSHOLES! CUNT! They fucked up again! Those stupid dam mother fuckin retards. They freakin have no clue one so ever. THEY FUCK MY LIFE UP! Stupid bloody fucken hoes. They fuckin donít help me or fuckin support my those stupid freakin dicks. GOD DAM IT STUPID MOTHER FUCKIN HOES! Bitches they fuckin have no fuckin clue what they have done to me those stupid fucking assholes. Retarded cunts. they need to go fuckin die in a fuckin hole stupid mother and father fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CUNTS Those little bastards. BLOODY FUCKEN CUNTS THEY ARE I WANT THEM TO FUCKIN BURN IN HELL! DAM HOES! MY freakin mom is a fuckin whore and my dad is a fuckin angry ball of fuckin dick. SON OF GOD DAM BITCH! THEY WILL PAY FOR WHAT THEY FUCKIN DID STUPID dicks I HATE THEM SOOOOOOO FUCKIN BADLY THOSE STUPID GOD DAM CUNTS.THEy never TOOK ME TO FUCKIN SEE HIS GOD DAM PARENTS GRAVE STUPID MOTHER FUCKIN HOEI Fuckin hate those stupid ass dick. THEY NEVER FREAKIN LIKED MY UNCLE STUPID MOTHER FUCKING HOES! Stupid DIRTY PRICKS THOSE STUPID OBNIOUS MOTHER FUCKIN CUNTS . THEY CAN GO ROT IN FUCKIN GOD DAM HELL FOR ALL I FUCKIN CARE STUPID BLOODY FUCKIN DICKS.
|Posted by CFA at December 7, 2010
it started 6th grade my life was as fucked up as could be. my teachers,and students laugh at me when i walk by,or call me names i didnt now what they ment i would just sit there and look. the anger inside me grew.
7th grade i saw a ad about the united states marine corps i wanted in... all of seventh grade i had MORE AND MORE ANGER BULDING UP.the teasing and name calling wouldnt stop
but in 8th grade NO ANGER HAD COME OUT. I COULDNT WAIT I HAD TO DO SOME THING THEN I KNEW I WANTED TO DO KILL... THIS HAS BEEN MY DREAM TO FUKIN BLOW SOME MOTHER FUCKING ENEMY OF THE UNITED STATES HEAD OFF! CLOSE RANGE. SOMETIME I WISH I COULD JUST GET A GUN AND KILL EVERY ONE.
MY LIFE ISNT HELL ITS MY HELL I LOVE MY COUNTRY BUT I FEAR I WILL DIE.NOT FROM SOMEONE IN THE UNITED STATES BUT OUT. SEMPER FI-ALWAYS FAITHFUL.
ANGER IS MY LIFE AND MY SCHOOL IS MY HELL.