Every day I wake up to the same monotony. I am still a single mom, dying of a horrible disease and have really no reason to fight it. My kids are 19 and 16... I refuse to allow them to take the burden of "mom is living for you." What if I die anyway, are they supposed to go through life with a guilt trip of "what did I do wrong, my mom died"?
It is so depressing. I go to the "support" meetings... everyone there has a spouse, a huge bank account and about a million reasons to keep getting up and fighting. I keep thinking... why do I keep doing this?
I am so alone... I have no one to talke to. My family (meaning siblings and parents) just want to take over my life telling me what to do and what not to do. Their form of help is always more stress than it is worth. Because then, after they "help" me they feel they have the right to treat me however they want... after all I should be grateful.
Oh well, no one will ever read this. What is the point? |