|Posted by Jay. at June 9, 2012|
Where should i start. I've grown up in a very broken up family that includes (Abusers, Molesters, Alcoholics, Drug Addicts.) My Father was the abuser & alcoholic in the family he started beating my Mother when she became pregnant with me tried killing her by choking her until she almost died. After I was born I became his second punching bag not even a month old he would blow pepper in face because he thought it was funny spin me around in a desk chair till I would throw up. When I was a around three months old I had colic and one night it was so bad I was crying in my crib he was upset that I was disturbing his sleep he slapped me in the face so hard my Mother couldn't leave the house for days because fear of DCF. My Parents eventually got divorced when I was almost two but my Mother cared more about getting herself away from my Father than she cared about getting me away from him she signed custody over to him and moved across the country and moved on with her life while I was being beaten for everything I did and didn't do. About five years go by and my older cousin started molesting me every morning (at the time he stayed with us) and I didn't know exactly what was going on I never told any body because he would threaten me and I've kept it to myself for many years. My Father still abused me as I got older but it wasn't just the usual "ur my punching bag" he started using objects such at throwing a tv at my head breaking things that belonged to me locking me up in my...
|Posted by bigfish at June 6, 2012|
My earliest memory.. My uncle tearing me open when i was 5. Im still left with scar tissue from when he raped me. over and over. I was raped again when i was 8 by a different man. all i remember from my childhood is being scared that someone would hurt me again. being scared of any men. At 9 years old i started developing very severe mental disorders. depression, anxiety, dissasociative disorders and early phsycosis. All i wanted was to die. i tried to die regularly. I would watch movies with women being raped and beaten over and over because i related to it so well.
At 12 my mental disorders had worsened by miles. i tried drowning myself before school everyday because everyday at school a girl would abuse me in every way. in class she would cut me with a compass or scissors she would make me miss class so she could get her friends to hold me down so she could beat me or abuse me sexually.
Once again i was raped by an older boy at school. One day i went into a full blown phsycotic episode. I took a knife to school so she couldnt hurt me that day. i wanted to cut her open the way she had done it to me every day for 2 years. Of course i was arrested and she was known as the victem ever since.
I was put in a mental ward for months and months.
Im on more medication than i could poke a stick at just so i can function these days. Life isnt much better in the past 5 years ive been severly beaten and burned by multiple men. ex lovers. of course i had never learned that being hurt isnt acceptable so i would just put up with it.
Im just waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel.
My advice for men/women/teenagers/kids in distress.. dont tollerate it. no one deserves to live through hell like i have. stand up for yourself.
Stay strong everyone!
|Posted by anonymous at June 3, 2012|
Where to begin...... When I was a child I was abused daily by my parents. My father beat me with a leather belt until I had welts all over me. My mother beat me over the head with a wooden cutting board til it broke. I was forced to drink large amounts of juice til i puked and wet myself and then i was beat for it.When I was in kindergarten the teacher called the police because I came to school with cigarette burns on my arms. No one told me I needed to bathe daily. I was sent to school dirty, with huge knots in my hair and hungry. I cried everyday. When I was ten my father molested me. I pretended to be asleep cause I was afraid. When I was 12 my father left us and my mother started gambling away what little cash we had 7 nights a week. My mother would drive us around town all hours of the night looking for my dad. We eventually found him living with another woman. My mother then tried to commit suicide in front of me. She took a bunch of pills and I remember all the neighbors in my living room surrounding her passed out on the couch and the ambulance and paramedics. It was terrifying. They put her in a padded room for a while and my dad came back home with my sister and me. He was never there though. He would disappear for days at a time leaving me to raise my eight year old sister and myself at 12 years old. We ate moldy crackers cause there was no food. Then they let my mother out of the looney bin and my dad took us to pick her up. On the way home he pulled off to t...
|Posted by anonymous at May 19, 2012|
I hate my life. I feel trapped in a prison of hell and I can't get out. I've grown up my whole life with divorced parents my fathers an alcoholic women beater and a wonderful mother who only cares about men and her appearance. I've been beaten my whole life, I've bee starved, my clothing taken away, molested, and just alone. I've lived with at least every family member because no one ever wanted to take care of me they passed me around like I was a hot potato. Never really had any friends and when I did something crazy would always happen for no reason can't have relationships with men either every time I do I'm either getting used for sex or cheated on because I'm just the one they want on there arm not to love. Every one important in my life or remotely important has died I've been to more funerals in my life in the past 20 years than most people do in there life. I just wish my life was better I'm depressed I can't ever seem to get myself out of my bed I'm always angry for nothing I just want to end it all maybe I wouldn't hurt anymore.
|Posted by anonymous at April 30, 2012|
Hi, I'm not good of a write so my story may be completely short. I grow up in a house where people never told me that they love me, really this is true, both mom and dad. They always told me that I was a mistake and should of never been born in the first place. I have an older sister that my so called parents adore so dearly. They brags on her and treats her like she's God and show her off to the public, and I'm standing in the Background looking pathetic. So my sister moved out and seems that things gotten worst on my end because she moved out it seems they took it out on me which they did in fact, say I was the reason why she moved because I'm a annoying little bastard and that I should be the one that goes. My sister moved with her boyfriend and don't clearly think that is had anything to do with me. I'm 18 years old and if I play my cards right I will get out a good job and move out their goddamn house and they probably never see me again. Yes I was raped, raped by my damn dads long time friend, and I couldn't tell both my parent because no one would believe me as they never does. I have no friends, well, not the kind that I can trust. Despite it all, with no support from any parents, I made it out of high school and now probably off to college. I just wish I had it better.
|Posted by anonymous at April 8, 2012|
I'm only 16. When I was younger, several close friends of my father decided it'd be fun to touch me inappropriately. To rape me. I told my mother. And she told my dad, but he didn't believe us. No, he got angry and accused us of lying, because his precious friends would never do anything to his only daughter. Not only that, but he believed that beatings were an appropriate form of punishment. By belt, by hand, by hanger. I'm Asian, so you know, any grade lower than an A was enough for me to receive punishment. If I couldn't understand something my father was trying to teach me, I received punishment. If I made any little mistake or voiced my opinions, I was punished. And nobody did anything to stop him. I've always felt restricted. I'm not allowed to do anything, to go anywhere. Because I'm a girl, and I needed to stay home and be good. And it's not just me. My little brother, he was only ten. He tried to jump out a window and kill himself, but it didn't work. He just wants to be a good son, but everything he does is never enough for my dad. And my mother, she's going crazy because all my dad ever does is put her down and tell her how horrible of a mother she is. But she keeps trying to be such a good wife to him. No matter how much he hurts her and controls her, she just keeps trying to make him happy. I hate him so much. My mother is fine. He just has to have everything so damn perfect. But he never tries to fix anything himself, he always just makes us. And if it's not...
|Posted by anonymous at April 5, 2012|
I was raped by my brother when I was little. I finally told my parents and they put a stop to it but also covered it up and made everyone in the house just go on acting like everything's normal. I had to grow up almost my whole life living with the guy who sexually abused me and it messed me up. My parents are nice to my face sometimes but I've always felt that they didn't really love me and saw me as damaged. To this day my brother still lives with them and still interacts with the family, nobody knows what went on and we still have to pretend like everything's okay. I would love to just move away and never have contact with them again but the rest of the family would think I was an asshole because since they don't know everything they wouldn't understand why I would have any reason to not want my parents and my brother to be a part of my life. I also don't want to have to explain to my significant other why we're suddenly not having any contact with my family anymore, since I've never told him and don't want to because I don't want him to look down on me or not want me anymore...even thought it went on when I was little I still have flashbacks and it makes me feel disgusting every day.
|Posted by anonymous at March 30, 2012|
Where do i start?,I was born in a family were it left a huge scar,my father is a raging alcoholic,and my mother is a psycho whore,the only person that i could turn to is my older brother,my brother was abused badly by our mother,I remember when i used to be eight,my brother was thirteen at the time,my mother took him to her bedroom and locked the door,i was sitting on the couch watching cartoons,then after they got out of the room,my brother had some bruises and his clothes looked tored,i was terrified when i saw him,and i also had a half brother is a lazy asshole who doesnt want to work,a couple of years ago my dad brung him over to our house to stay until hes back on his feet again,he was homeless,it was a living hell,all he did is sit on his fat ass,eat and watch tv,and one day i belived he hurt our jack russell,but nobody gave a fuck,then one day he finaly found a homeless shelter to stay in,it was a relief when he left, and did you know that i've always suffered from a anxiety/personality disoder and depression?,it wrecked most of my teen years,i was so anti-social to where i would run away from people,and i been having some creep who was stalking me for three years,he would follow me and tried to track where i live,i'm to scared to sleep at night because i'm afraid he would try to break in my room while i'm asleep,I'm seventeen now,i've never had anything close to a best friend,i never had a fucking boyfriend!,and i can't drive yet,i've tried alot of times to kill myself but i always failed miserbly,it looks like i'm gonna die alone,fuck this place you call a world,fuck the socaity,fuck my family,fuck me,fuck satan & fuck god!!!.
|Posted by anon at February 26, 2012|
Ive been raped and beaten in fostercare
moved in with my mom again, she beat the fuck out of my sister and I.
Went to a mental institution, suicidal, cutting, ED.
PTSD out the ass. Flash backs that put me into panic attacks regularly.
You people say your lives suck when you dont get a damn Ipod. Go choke on your own stupdity and walk a mile in anothers shoes.
|Posted by anonymous at February 24, 2012|
I sent my mom to prison for child abuse when I was 12 years old. My mom was kind of a fucked up lady when I was a kid. (I'm 30 years old now). My mom was in prison for 7 years. They diagnosed her as bipolar.
She never did any lasting damage. She slapped me a bunch of times, but nothing left a mark. She would do really crazy shit though. One time in third grade, the teacher said I had said this word that meant bastard. The word was gotsen, gotson, fucking I don't know! It was something that sounded like that, and I swear I didn't say it. Here I am trying to think really fucking hard about what happened that day in the 3rd grade, and I can't even think of what word I was accused of saying. I tried googling it, too. No luck. But the teacher said I said it, that mysterious word. I think it started with g and ended with n... maybe. My 3rd grade teacher confronted me about it, and at 7 years old had no god damn idea. I remember having no idea, and there I was with casts on both legs because my Achilles tendons were too short, explaining prefixes and suffixes to my teacher before I even knew what those affixes were about. I reasoned how maybe my voice had mixed with another student's voice and somehow this word that I can't currently even google the definition of got misinterpreted but heard by the teacher. I was innocent and just trying to prove myself innocent, regardless of the rules of grammar, regardless of punctuation, and regardless of whether ...
|Posted by anonymous at January 25, 2012|
I am a 34 year old woman. I was born to a pair of narcissistic drug addicts in Denver Colorado. From the age of two upwards, my father and mother drugged me with valium, made me drink wine, or take Nyquil so I would be asleep most of the time, so they could party. At five, my parents went to Las Vegas and left me with my grandparents, where my 13 yr old uncle molested me daily for a while...how long I don't know. Until "Mom" and "dad" came back. My father started to beat me when I began school. He only used a belt but regularly whipped me for small things like a sad face on the paper I brought home, and I mean in first grade. I was a terrible student, I seems to be slower than everyone else, so I was whipped often.
We moved away from the USA and came to Canada in '84. By the time I was in fifth grade it was apparent I was a loser and was bullied relentlessly. At the age of eleven my father ran off with a 24 yr old woman, and left me with my mother, whom 3 years later sent me back to the US for a "summer vacation" and called me on the phone one day to tell me I would not be coming back to her, she did not want me, she had met a man who did not want a kid around.
I came back to Canada to live with my father and Stepmother (the 24 year old by then nearly 30)and by then my father had become an alcoholic. He regularly got into violent fights with the stepmother. He was often seen in our neighborhood, blind drunk, violent and under arrest. This led to me getting beat ...
|Posted by L at January 22, 2012|
I don't know why I'm doing this guess... Guess I want an emotional outlet. So where to beginng, well I'm a teenager first of all. I know you're probably thinking that every teenager has their depressing "stage" but I can assure you, this is not the case. Do people know that children abuse actually happen very often? I'm one victim. I don't get beaten up every day only when I "misbehave" or he gets really mad. I can guarantee you that there is more horrible children abuse going one then mine but still... But I'm not sad about that, it's that I don't get any freedom, it's so depressing and sad and patethic really. You don't know how many times I've had to turn my friends down or when we comeback after an weekend my friends describe how fun they had and I can't be apart of that? Isnt it pathetic that I get tears in my eyes every time I think about. While my friends have sleep overs and go out, I'm locked in my room while crying my eyes out. I just wish... I just wish I could get out or runaway, I really can't take it any longer. Why did it have to be me that was born into this family? why do I have to cry myself to sleep everyday ? It sometimes feels like everyone around me is happy except me. Remember when we were like little kids we would pretend to cry when sleepy to attract your mom's attention, it's funny cause now we pretend to sleep when crying silently into my bed to avoid question. I mean I know life is unfair but this is freaking ridiculous. Oh and you know what I ...
|Posted by Noone at January 1, 2012|
I was born June 3, 1988. I am now 23 years old. I was adopted by my family when I was six years old. My biological parents were killed in a store robbery. Life as far as I can remeber was great. I was cared for, and felt loved and happy. But then my sunny days darkened at the age of nine, I was raped by my dads best friend. I remeber crying alot, and not letting anyone touch me. Once my parents got tired of not getting through to me they took me to a child's doctor. I was never the same but the day came when I could hug my dad and not scream. I was eleven when things turned bad again. My parents were killed in a car accident, leaveing me and my brothers in foster care we were split up.
It wasnt but a few weeks until I was put into a foster familys house, where I was raped and molsted again and again and again. I hated my self and a few weeks before my 12th birthday, I took a stake knife and cut my arm all the way up. When I was found they bandaged my arm up, and I got beat for doing it. The kid at school who had always bullied me, grabbed my arm the next day, when the blood seeped through, he started holloering for the teacher, (guess he wasnt all bad).
I was put back into foster care, when I was 13 I was sent to a family, who said they wanted me. Life with them was ok, they were sweet and loving, but they were not my family, and by then I had figured out what a tragaty I was to people. Eight months before my 15th birthday I was raped again, this time by a man w...
|Posted by anonymous at December 27, 2011|
I just lost my car. I can't fine employment. And, I am about to lose the roof over my head. I want to die. I have no one in my life. I've always been alone. Never had a true friend a never had a love in my life. Th e only time I had sex was from the ages of 5-11 when I was raped by someone very close to me. I'm now 27 and never had a boyfriend because I'm scared of men but I'm not sexually attracted to women to be a lesbian. I'm a hermit and a loner who is about to be homeless. I never wanted this for my life. Am I god's sick joke? I always hear on tv about others helping people, I just wish someone would help me.
|Posted by does it matter at December 24, 2011|
I've been abused all my life. My mom tried to kill me a few times when I was growing up. I tried to commit suicide when I was 7, 12, and 24. I've only ever been molested or verbally abused. I've had two boyfriends, both relationships ended bad. One of them abused me. It took me an average of 3 years to get over them both. My sister says she doesn't care about me, and wouldn't mind if I died. I supposed I shouldn't be so weak but as I get older I get weaker. I keep holding thinking God will step in and change it all around but it's been over 20 years now...
I don't know how much longer I can sit and wait. My friends don't listen to me. they don't care at all and tell me to just have faith...but they've never had the relationships I've had and have great family members that loved them all their lives. I feel very alone and depressed everyday.
|Posted by dodo777 at December 19, 2011|
I have always sufferd from bad nerves and stress because as a child my dad abused me violently.He would beat me just for breathing as he put it.Later on in life I got in trouble with police.I was aqngry and had these strange attacks were I would lose it.I was dianosed with post dramatic stress.Ithought when i was told that only people in war got this.Anyway as time went by I had a son who I love sooo much and wanted him to have the love I never had well it all turned out horrible now my son is like me keep to his self gets nasty very quick and have self harmed I feel so sad and gutted I give him what I can but I am sick.He smokes dope 24/7 and I cant keep giving I am freezing now while he is over his mums playing on the xbox all smoking dope and I am here under a quilt feeling I want to die.All my life I have been in shit street and I cant see anyway out of it.He blames me for having a crap life but he will not do any thing to help his self.I have always put him first but I think its starting to get me down to the point of suicide.The only thing that has kept me going these last few months is meditating.I know it sounds strange but it has given me a kind of peace that i never had before.I eat so much chocolate because that I have an eating problem and cant eat solids.I was also diagnosed with personality disorder which now makes sense as I have always had trouble in relationships.Only a small few people talk to me as i have such a bad rep.I would love to start over but do...
|Posted by Sad D at December 16, 2011|
I was molested as a child by one of my mothers relatives every morning before I went to school. I remember falling asleep every night with the fear of having to go to the babysitters the next day. I would think of ways to avoid the abuse and pray to God for help but none of that helped. I think that's when I lost a piece of my soul and faith. The rest has been chipped away through the years. I have hated myself for 20 years and there hasnt been a day when I havent wished for death. I believe life can great but not for me because I am too damaged and jaded. I have no desire to see what the future holds and there is nothing in life I want or look forward to. In the last couple of years I have become bitter and angry, so angry at the world. I am filled with hate..hate towards those who have hurt me and hate towards those who laugh and enjoy life while I drown in silence. There isnt a day when I don't choke on my hate and anger and I am soooo exhausted. I wish for death because I cannot bear another day filled with such ugly feelings.
|Posted by EasyE at November 25, 2011|
Does writing all this then re-reading it make any of you any happier?? Seriously guys the whole world sucks but it is what you make of it.....I had a kid at 16 and another at 21, I bought them both up alone, the second childs father became a heroin addict and tried to kill me. As a child I was sexually abused over a period of years and assaulted at aged 12. I could take the easy way out and believe me I have wanted to so badly but all that did was cause me more misery inseide. I have no job, my mortgage payments are 2 months overdue as is my loan payment. I could lose my home that I worked ( yes long hours bringing up my children alone, and i do mean alone...no family at all )so hard for, I could be in court due to unpaid bills etc, I already have had to have meters put in! And you know, through it all I just keep smiling and being the cheerful person I WANT to be. Life will only make me down if I let it, it's all material anyhow.....and if you can't be arsed to like yourself why the fuck should anyone else....seriously! So guys cheer the fuck up....oh did I forget to mention the crazy pyscho mother, excessive amounts of funerals to attend and the alcoholic violent ex??!! No 'cos they don't matter....all that matters is feeling good, being content with what you ghot, doesn't mean you can't aim for more but if you ain't happy then nothing wants to come near you xxx hope you guys all cheer the fuck up and get a grip on yourselves
|Posted by anonymous at November 22, 2011|
My life sucks and it always has. I was molested repeatedly by my grandfather when I was a little girl. My stepfather tried to rape me when I was 15. ended up in the psych ward for 21 days because I was a danger to myself and others. That was a nightmare. Spent the next two years in and out of foster homes.I suffer from panic attacks, anxiety disorder and depression. even with the medication about once a week I want to run my car off a bridge. Even though I have people in my life that love me I am completely unable to love them back. I have no emotional connection to my children or my husband. I am in debt over 250,000. I feel like my life is a landslide being held up by one tiny rock.
|Posted by sarah at November 18, 2011|
Reading the abuse stories I know there's much MUCH worse then what I'm about to say. But I feel disgusting and thought I may aswell voice it. I'm 16 years old and my cousin, who was living with us for a few years, raped me two months ago. It was the most horrifying experience of my life. On the kitchen floor. We were home alone for a little while. When I turned around he held me down, pinned me to the floor and cut my clothes off with a knife. I was a virgin before that and it hurt so much. I fought as hard as I could, but he threatened to burn me with boiling water that was bubbling on the stove. I would never reach in time. I cried for days afterwards. But thank God I wasn't pregnant. I told my mum and dad and they kicked him out. But for dad, I think it was the closest thing to a son he's ever had. Sometimes he'll accidentally mention him, then instead of looking angry he'll look sad. So I feel so guilty. I feel dirty. I have nightmares about him often, and I keep thinking of the things I could've done to escape. I'm ruined.