|Posted by down2night at November 1, 2010
Normally I deal with my problems quietly. However, right now I am at a complete standstill. I can't think clearly and I am so depressed.
Here's my story.
I had a little girl two years ago and although she tests my patience, I have so much love for her. She is the smartest, most beautiful and funniest little girl and I wouldn't change her for the world. But having her has changed me. Like most Mum's, my life is not my own anymore, and 90% of the time I'm more than happy to stay home.
I met a man when my little girl was 6 months old, and at first I was soooooo wary of him. I left the room when feeding or changing her, I did absolutely everything for her. As time passed I grew to trust him and started to let him spoonfeed her, then progressed to staying in the room to change or bathe her.
She is now obsessed with my partner and calls him Dada. He loves her to bits and admits that he loves her more than he loves me, which is fine cos I'll never love him like I love my little girl. It makes me feel more secure in our relationship when I hear that.
Anyway, to get back to the point, I could never do anything to take my partner out of my daughter's life. However, after months of us not getting along, something in his head finally clicked about how he was behaving. He is now taking anti-depressants (due to being out of work for 12 months). He has improved massively and is getting job interviews regularly, is cleaning the ...
|Posted by Lsd at October 31, 2010
I know life is like a roller coaster ride. Sometimes U are on the top and sometimes at the bottom. So i knew though things are not working out for me today, tomorrow will be mine.. But this today seems to be endless for me.. Things are going from bad to worse. I am a 28 yrs old guy from india. Life was going quite smoothly untill i was 23. But over the past few yrs ,it has become like a hell. In school, i was good at studies. but my first love was painting , had won many prizes for painting in school. But being from a middle class indian family , parents had diffremt expectations from me. The worst decision of my life was when i opted for medical school. I became a doctor somehow , though i was knowing i am never going to be a great doctor coz it was never my passion. It takes 5 n half yrs to be a doctor in india , i took 6. Later was in a dilemma whether to do a job or clear an entrance for post graduation. Couldnt clear the exams so without any choice had to do the job. So i did job in rural hospital away from home , living in a village. Worked there for 2 yrs. But as it was never my passion, got fed up with constant pressure and couldnt cope with increasing demands from seniors and fell prey to local politics.. I was totally fu*d up in ma head regarding my future.
As far as my family is concerned we are 5 ppl. Parents , sis n grandmothr who is 95 yrs old. Meanwhile my dad had retired from his job while i was going through turmoil in my career. My parents a...
|Posted by RD2010 at October 31, 2010
Hi, I'm tired of my life, it sucks. It's not really that my life sucks, but life, the way things work out sucks. I'm 29, blk male, a christian and I'm single. I've never been with a woman my entire adult life. I dont know if im attractive or not. Im skinny and have been all of my life, it's hard to gain weight, I never get compliments, i guess because women don't give guys compliments unless were really attractive. I don't have the best teeth either.
I had this one girl who was using me because I felt sorry for her. But she's a lesbian and I don't understand that at all. I met her a few years ago and she seemed like a nice person, it's like she wasn't deliberately using me, but she's never done a thing for me either. She told me she loved me but i think she said that because she was confused. She was raped before so i guess it's hard for her to be affectionate with guys. Which sucks because I feel like she was the one for me. It's hard because I don't want to know that she's found someone else. I kinda wish I never met her.
I don't work right now, I was laid off. But I'd rather be in love and be just making enough than to be successful and single.
I've been really depressed throughout most of my life so far. I believe in God and believe these are the last days. Sometimes I just wish this life was over because I can't go back and change anything in my life, and it all seems like it's gonna be down hill from here.
I'm sure other people are worse off than I am. I just wanted to share my story.
|Posted by shazza at October 31, 2010
for soon I have done to deserve this life. I was born into a family with parent who shouldn't have been together. My mother admitting on my wedding day that she married my dad on the rebound.Fuck!!!!!!!!!!
I have two brothers and U spent my childhood trying to keep them out of trouble as my dad was an angry man who had been bought up in a boarding school with no idea how a family worked.
I left home at 17 trying to get away but never succeeded. My then boyfriend was mentally abusive and loved to control me but I found a man who liked me and didn't like the way I was being treated so I left the boyfriend of 3 years and went with the man. It was through him I met someone who said they loved me. He was gentle and kind and truly loved me but for some reason I couldn't love him back the way he should have been. Anyway we goty married and had 3 kids. Great kids.
The eldest 2 of them had severe dyslexia and I had a constant battle with the education department. My husband not being good at relationships said that it was my fight so I battled bby myself for our kids. I wanted theem to have the best I coud give them.
The Thrid child had no learning problems but when he was 8 I found out that he had been a victim of sexual abuse by a good frien of our family. Through the fucking legal system we went. Me battling to understand why and doing all the stuff required on my own as my husband again said that it was my shit. Fuck why have a partner who was not willing to do...
|Posted by FUBAR at October 31, 2010
I am past 50 and never had a chance to find love and have a real life.You are taught in Catholic school how great god is, what a fictional characture the so called god is. My problems started early on in my life, some where between 7th and 8th grade my motherwas diagnosed with Ahlzimers, if you don't know what that is your lucky. i had a so called brother wanting to kill my my dad and myself. He would stand outside our kitchen window holding a shotgun and just watch us. he put agun to my head whn he was coming for my dad. Then as my mother got worst my sister and I were basically left to take care of my mother. I guess it was around 12 or 13 years of care we gave my motherbefore she passed. not long after tat my dad was diagnosed with Diabetes,a little late.He had been hiding damaged toes. So they started cutting off parts of his foot and finally up to under his knee.
This timeperiod lasted about another 10years I guess.i would do it all again ,even though it destroyed the better part of which people call your prime years.I could not allow anyone into my life, it would not of been fair.So here ilay over 50, alone 100's of miles from whats left of my familyand i cannot wait for my time to be up.
Asfor my renigion i believe there was a Jesus and the Blessed mother ,but ,i have doubts on a good god. First when the Blessed Mother was so called blessed by the holy spirit and told she would conceive Jesus, I feel that the so called god raped or abdu...
|Posted by anonymous at October 31, 2010
I'm and 22 having a baby soon,
me and my wife are both undergrads, jobless, moneyless.
we barely eat 1 meal a day each.
train fare is what we spend most of our money on.
most of my and her loans have gone to rent.
i wish i could all be free,
i feel like it should all be free.
|Posted by DD at October 30, 2010
I got dumped by my girlfreind of 5 years. I go to work every day and drive 2 hours to get there and back. That leaves like 3 hours to clean up shit and make food. Then my ex's stuff is still in my house and she will leave it here for months no doubt without caring. I even have to take care of the fucking cat that isn't mine. I drink daily and it kinda helps. My car has constant problems. I got a speeding ticket on saturday it will probly cost like 400$. I am in a band that turned down 2 shows in november so now we have no shows because they would rather sleep at night than do stuff even thought thats the entire point of being in a band. I am recovering from acl surgery and cant do anything active at all for months so i look like shit and cant do anything fun. my internet connection is slow. I have to spend ~11k dollars to buy my exs half of the house even though there is only like 3k equity in it and yes that is better than being foreclosed on so I have to agree. the cops were in my yard this morning looking for my neighbor that is how sweet my neighborhood is. my dick is small and pathetic and doesn't even really get that hard anymore. My van got vandalized while I was at work and I had to spend all weekend fixing the gas tank that the punks destroyed. I shit cottage cheese its never solid in any way. I got the layoff letter at work my last day is sometime in November. every day i get more tired and i hear the alarm clock way too early and just say to myself "fuck"
|Posted by anonymous at October 30, 2010
Both my parents died when I was really young, as well as both sets of grand parents. I've also lost 3 brothers and recently, a sister. I avoid ever getting close to anyone, I always fear they'll die, if I stay away from people, it won't hurt when they do die. I was also sexually abused a lot as a child, with no parents to protect me, I was easy prey, which of course means I have issues with intimacy.
I'm not even 30. I'm stuck in a dead end job where my boss (who's rich and flaunts it) treats me like a second class citizen. I'm getting deeper and deeper into debt because I get paid so little. I have severe insomnia and I am slowly going insane from it, I feel my mind bend a little more every day. Not to mention my debilitating IBS and sciatica.
Did I forget to mention that I'm plagued by murphy's law. If I'm running late, I'll catch every single red light. If I need something, you better believe I'll have to look for it for an hour because it's not where I KNOW I put it. Praying stopped working a long time ago, don't bother asking him for anything, even to guide you, you won't be answered (there probably isn't a God anyway, who would allow the world to get this bad?)
So basically, if I don't have excruciating pain, have had 4-6 hours of sleep and get to work on time, I've had a great day.
I can't believe I haven't slit my wrists yet, I really believe the only thing stopping me is the fear of God.
|Posted by B-Don at October 30, 2010
I was molested as a kid, I've been physically and mentally abused my whole life even witnessed my mother getting abused as a little kid. I'm 24 years old living in a shitty ass rooming house that has roaches. If I didn't get disability I would be homeless. My father is an asshole who was never there for me financially, my mothers boyfriend was physically and mentally abusive, mother didn't give a shit she put him over me. I live alone with no friends but I do have associates. I can't find a girlfriend the girls I do meet are fuckin treacherous and pathetic and never seem to work out. I spend my days smoking weed and newports, which I'm trying to quit but it's hard as fuck. My family is dysfunctional as hell. They try to help out but they wind up being useless & worthless and nothing EVER goes my way. Society won't give me a chance and I feel trapped and lost. I pray to God but it seems he just watches and lets me suffer day n and day out. It's freezing cold in my room and the land lord will not get his rent until he gets me a heater. I've told him to get me one he said he would but he keeps bullshitting and he has millions, a fuckin rich slumlord. I have small ass refridgerator that doesn't freeze anything so I can't really cook anything, I have to cook noodles and eat out mostly. I'm going back to school in January so I can give my life some type of meaning, but theres nothing worst then this cursed ass hopeless life. I've seen miracles in my life but it seems right now I'm shit out of luck. I wonder why I'm even alive. I think about death all the time. If I wasn't such a coward I would end my life but then I would spend eternity in hell. I feel that God hates me so much it's not even funny. I been in and out of the psychiatric hospital. I have trouble sleeping most of the time. It's just a damn shame.
|Posted by AM at October 30, 2010
I am an addict and I don't want to admit it because I happen to like drugs and sex a lot. Life sucks so why is it wrong for me to do something I like.
Lets see, I bought my first house to find that it was riddled with defects and now I am living in a gutted home. I found out my husband has been sleeping around since we met. I have broken 3 vehicles within the last 6 months. It is going to snow soon in Colorado and I will freeze in my house because I have no heat. I really do want to die but I don't have enough balls to kill myself. If someone else would do it that would be great. I can't even die in a car accident when I was hit by a semi.
I honestly do not understand how anyone can think this world is great. I think that only people that have everything handed to them think this world is great. Fuck this world and fuck everyone in it. I wish it would just burn up and kill us all.
|Posted by SSJ at October 29, 2010
Let's see, my parents are heading for a divorce and i'm trapped in the middle, and somehow i seriously think i'm plagued with lonliness- i can't keep friends or boyfriends-i keep attracting a lot and then losing them in the end.
|Posted by anonymous at October 29, 2010
I am in year 7 and I just started school in September 2010. I just feel like I don't fit in with the school. I sometimes feel sad in most of my lessons , I have no idea why. In primary school I was always happy and I couldn't wait for my lessons and I hated breaks and lunchs but now Im hatin lessons and love my breaks and lunches... I some times feel lonely in my secondary school even though I have loads and loads of friends but the thing is I sometimes get annoyed with them cuz they ALWAYS follow me and ask if I'm alright but I cnt just say that I don't really fit in with the school. I sometimes feel Like I don't belong in that school. I have been thinking of telling my older sister about it, she's 17 so she NEVER has time to chill so I can not talk to her she is always at college or out with her mates it's really hard for me to get to her. I can't really tell any1 else cuz
me And my sister are close, we always do something together Until she started college which was in 2009 February. I feel like my life is done and finished... There's something wrong with me at least thts what I think. sometimes I talk to myself at school which is really weird. Thank you for Reading this I feel better to share my feelings And problems.
|Posted by anonymous at October 29, 2010
I really don't know. My life sucks, badly. Let's start with family...none of them reallly care and I get ignored a lot, my brother tries to kill himself a lot and my other brother I never, ever see because him and my mum fell out. The rest of my family are ok, I just feel like they don't care, because they don't act it you know? Then let's start with friends. Friends are a load of SHIT! My best friend I met like 10/11 years ago has turned into a right slag and all she does it talk about herself, and everyone follows her around like she's it. I make new friends and suddenly have none, due to her. Also, I'm the 'nerdiest' girl and most 'ugly' girl in school. (I've been callled and named it a fair amount of times.) so in otherwords, I'm hated, bullied, laughed at and nobody takes notice. I had one boyfriend like 2 years ago and he did stuff to me I wasn't fine with. (I won't go in detail, but I hated him.) :( but I am still a virgin. I currently like this guy for 4 years, (began to love him) told him. A couple of months ago, he didn't like me one bit. Yes, I did cry...yes, I did try to kill myself, I mean, you wouldn't know how much I loved him. But he took everything as a joke and he took ME as a joke. Everything I ever have or get is taken or done better by someone else. Media skills (only skills I hve) - done better by my best friend. Boys- taken by friends. My life just, isn't mine anymore. I know I sound like a whiny little baby I just need to let it out to someone. I hate my life. Either end it or restart it. Ending seems like the best option up to now.
|Posted by Laur at October 29, 2010
I'm almost eighteen. However, I don't want to hear any shit about me being too young to know if my life sucks or if I've messed it up completely yet. I know that I still have "hope," but I can't stop this destructive behavior. I can't get out of this depression. I live in a really awful household right now. It's just my dad and I, and we live in a really gloomy, really small, really dusty apartment. I'd say about 70% of the time one of our utilities is shut off because my dad is incompetent in terms of getting the bills paid. Living in this place is one of the many reasons why I hate myself. I'm sure someone with a sunshine for a brain would want to kill themselves if they had to spend as much time as I do in this shithole. I try and straighten things up, scrub things down, clean, organize. I hate to play the blame card, but my dad is such a fucking slob and he messes everything up a second after I've done my work. He dirties things up, and he's really nasty. He's always shaving over the sink, and leaving little bits of facial hair all over our 2-square-foot bathroom. He refuses to clean up after himself. It's just excuse after excuse after excuse. Anyway, being the obsessive compulsive that I am, this just really makes me frustrated. I'm constantly smashing things because they've been stupidly misplaced. Like I'll find a used toothbrush on the computer desk or a cup of soda on top of a bunch of unpaid bills that's about to topple over. I mean, sometimes I really have to ...
|Posted by katie at October 28, 2010
Okay I'm 22 I met this boy a year ago the first couple of months he was the nicest person i ever met he told me loved me, believed him because I loved him too. We moved in together he brought all my furniture and agreed that he was going to pay all my bills because I didn't have a job. A month after we moved in together he told me he didn't think we should see each other anymore,my heart was broken and I became depressed. I was so in love with him that I kept pursing him and wanting him to come see me, because I only felt better when I was around him. Everytime I would ask him for money he would tell me he don't have any, even though he brought him two luxury cars while i was struggling paying my bills. A couple of months ago I found out I was pregnant from him, I don't agree with abortions but I knew he didn't want anymore kids because he alreadty has 5, so I told him that if he buy me a dog for 1500 that I would get an abortion.I knew it was wrong but i knew I couldn't afford a child and that he wasn't going to freely give me money for my bills, so after i got the abortion I used the money to pay my rent he still doesn't know that I used the money for my rent and not the dog. After I got the abortion i text him he can have his money back and he told me he does'nt think its a good idea for us to speak anymore. Me being aggorant I said okay instead of telling him how I really feel. 2 weeks ago he got shot and they took his phone and know I have no way to tell him how I really feel I know he's not going to get in contact with me because of our last conversation. Now all I do is sit home and cry and think about all the stuff I should've did and said. My life sucks!!!!!!
|Posted by the truth at October 28, 2010
I'm 18 and I've never had a gf. I'm short for my age and also overweight. Now you might be thinking why not just exercise. Well I'm also dealing with ACNE. No medication has worked. And I would focus on my education but I really see no point if I"ll always look the same. the united states is such a superficial place. Your judged by how you look not how smart you are or what you can contribute to mankind. Also I've been raised by my mom since my dad died when I was 2. So I dont and have never had any guidance in my life. My mom buys me things so she doesn't have to "deal" with me. And I don't focus on my education because frankly I don't like how life is setup. Yu go to school for 12 yrs then go for another 2-4. After that you work start a family watch them do the same shit then die. And wtf r we working for anyways so we can retire at 65? After we have maybe 10-15 yrs if were healthy and lucky. I say fuck that there is no point in my life. Maybe not for anyone unless they're born into the right situation.
|Posted by how crap is your life hole at October 28, 2010
shit boyfriend, went out for my sisters birthday, came home to see my boyfriend at half past 1, boyfriend was not here. he should finish work at 10:30 latest, and was still not home, stating "he went for a 3 hour drive on his motorbike, in the cold"!?!?!?! i did not ask him about it because i trusted him and loved him.
i had been in agonising pain all day during my 15 hour shift at work,iwas then taken to the hospital after finishing my shift (because it would be irresponsible to leave). i had been at the hospital for an hour and had blood tests seen the doctor who had referred me to the surgeons. i was seriously drugged up but could still feel the pain. i then phoned my boyfriend to tell him that ididnt no how long i would be, he then replied "oh ok, il just go to bed then." then when i got home at half 3 in the morning,all he did was open his eyes,smile and then fall back asleep. i hobbled in the room still in agony!!!
i am 18 and have been told i cannot have children. i then find out i am pregnant with my boyfriends baby. i then miscarry it and deal with it myself and dont want to upset my boyfriend who didnt actually no i was pregnant. a few weeks later i decide to tell him and his response was, "oh...ok" he didnt show any emotion or support at all....
i then get an unknown number call me and tell me he has been texting this girl from his school indecent stuff, and they said i should watch out for lauren and sam, because they have been texting each other in...
|Posted by kev19 at October 27, 2010
i go to a community college full time i work 2 jobs just achieved 1000$ in the bank account and got into an accident the deductable is 1000$ i am starting from ground zero and my insurance is going to go up i will be working for the privlage to drive. all my friends are away at college going to partys and having fun. I have a chronic disease that gives me ulcers an pain. i have no days off to relax or try to find friends let alone a girlfriend...i just want to have my friends and not have to wrry about working16 hr shifts to pay for my next bill ...
|Posted by anonymous at October 27, 2010
i was struggling with some mental disorder, i must have had one
i killed my cat out of anger three years ago, and ive never been able to show my face around my family ever again, i dont care if they forgive me, i dont forgive myself
so i essentially ran away, and life sucks, i am 20 and on the streets, i go hungry some weeks
i know its my fault, but damn life sucks
|Posted by nobody cares at October 27, 2010
so just so you have an understanding of my life, couple weeks ago, when my life went from bad to hell. i was chased home by a pck of dogs, sucks right. So im running from dogs and i finally get home. Starts off like a freakin movie. I dont bother to tell my family, you would think that that would be a cool story to share, but my family doesnt give a shit, they would just say im lieing. so anyways i call my best friend, my only friend, to talk to him, see how things are going. Turns out my best bud, who i thought was ugly, but im a guy also and my opinon doesnt really matter, got a girlfriend. apparently she thinks im a creep, and doesnt want my friend to hang out with me, now that they're together, for her reputations sake. So what does he do, the bastard tells me that, then i laugh saying what are ya gonna do, thinking he would just dump her, we've been best friends for 6 years. The bastard 'dumps' me instead. I literally cried. I try to do things to distract me from my terrible life. But it makes it worse when my family makes fun of everything i try to do, because i 'suck' at it.