|Posted by anonymous at November 1, 2011|
seems like my luck stared to turn bad when i tryed to graduate high school and then they told me i missed a year of school but i didnt plus i was taking after school class's. always worked construction building house's and stores but never got notice for my work. moved to PA thought i found a great girl nice job turns out she was crazy for real!!. then moved to new orleans lived there for couple of years always trying to crap by never had money for anything then one day me and my brother inlaw broke down on the highway and got hit by a truck he got a ticket and a new car we got nothing and now i hurt all the time and im homeless staying with my sister right now been homeless for 1 year now. both of my vehicals broke down at the sametime at the same place. people that dont know me dont like me but the people that do say im a great guy why arent i living the high life. sometimes i ask myself if someone or something put a curse on me.the women i date always take my money and cheat on me iv never cheat and never will iv been taught better then that. iv been blamed for peoples badluck and the bad love life. iv raised kids that were not mine then had them taken from me by there real mother. i just dont know how muck more i can take even if i had someone there by my side would be great but im alone in the darkness of this world.
|Posted by Key at November 1, 2011|
I've been trying to figure out how to move forward in life this last little while, but a part of me still just wants to give in, give up, die and get this life over with. There are a variety of reasons for this.
Some of it, I have long realized, are problems I internalized when I was a kid, which would be a cop out for me personally if it weren't for all the other compounding issues. My house burned down at 17, almost leaving me homeless, and I knew I was sick at 13. I left my home state at 17 and was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease that same year. I was thrown by a bus at 25, injuring my back and neck. Was stupid not to just sue them and be set, but, that was me at the time, too forgiving for my own good. I also got divorced at 25. My teeth have taken a beating; and at this point I don't know if I will be able to keep them by the time I can afford to see a dentist. Everything else just seems boring, like the idea of life is a black and white thing and that I'll never really fit into it the way I should. I want more than that, I want to do things that interest me and make me happy; trouble is, I don't know what those things are anymore. At this point I heavily doubt I will ever see another relationship, and while I think about getting my life in order; the question becomes: "For what, to continue to struggle as I revolve on this dust ball?" I just no longer know who I am supposed to be or what I am supposed to do.
|Posted by conto at October 31, 2011|
I'm a 46 year old female, I'm not ugly nor am I beautiful. I have 2 childern. I have 4 grand kids but I never get to see them. 3 live to far and the last one my daughter is making her own family... I have a job but I dont make enough to pay the bills...food is a problem some times....I live with my sister who is bypolar. I have a car but had to go to a buy here pay here so I pay double for it. I recently broke up with a guy that I had tried to put all my dreams on but he was verbally abusive and didnt love me he. I just want a break in life...I want to be happy. I was married for 16 years and he got hooked on pills and let the family down. All I have ever wanted is a home to call my own with a man that is my partner,friend and someone to share life with! Im tired of this crap. Im not a bad person at all. I just dont understand why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I sleep all the time just so I dont have to think!I dont have any friends.....I cant afford to go out and do anything! I'm just so tired!!!I cant see a way out of this mess....I'm working my butt off but just cant get ahead!
|Posted by RaeRae at October 31, 2011|
I've dug myself a hole so deep, the more I try to climb out - the deeper I'm burried down.
During my senior year of high school I was a normal happy person. I became friends with a girl that introduced me to partying, had unprotected sex while wasted, which led to an abortion, which led to depression and more partying, which led to weight gain.
Luckily I've never done drugs or I'd be worse off.
I tried to live on my own from 18-22, was constantly living paycheck to paycheck for years. On my 21st birthday I got a DUI which ruined a year of my life. I ended up leaving the state of Idaho because I was unemployed, sitting my my apartment being a total loser. So I upped and moved to Missouri thinking if I move in with my grandma I'll get my life together.
I still have a warrant have for my arrest because I didn't get all my stuff dont for my DUI.
I've lived in Missouri for almost 2 years. I recently lost my full time job, my second part time job, my car got repoed, I live in my grandma's basement, I haven't went out a SINGLE time since I've moved here, and now my grandma wants to kick me out. I don't get along with the rest of my family, we don't even speak. No job, no money, no friends.
The one best friend that I did have in Idaho texted me on my 23rd birthday and told me she Thought I am bipolar and that I need help. So now I officially have not a single person in my life.
I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to convince my grandmother to stay here until atleast next summer.
This is the lowest point of my life. I've pondered suiside but I don't believe in it, it's not for me. I just NEED something to please go right. Please.
|Posted by Nick at October 31, 2011|
My whole life has been shit from birth untill now(37) my parents split when i was 5 my dad didn't want to no so i lived with my mum and my sister who is two years older, my mum forgot we were there and hocked up with any drunk or user who tock his beef out on us kids. I took off when i was 15 when i get a job in a hotel cleaning. i started fucking my teacher at school and thought i was Gr8 but turns out i was being used, i then went from shit job to shit job, crappy bedsit to crappy bedsit, at 25 i meet my wife we had nothing but were so happy we worked hard saved some money and brought a home, we had two girls and i worked 14 hour days 7 days a week to keep our home and pay the bills. It was two much for my wife she got in contact with her ex via facebook took my girls and left. i was then evicted through the courts from our home and she moved in with her boyfriend and my kids. i cant see the kids as i am living in a caravan in a farmers field and still paying her mortgage. i havn't spoken to either parent or sister in 20 years have no contact with my kids am up to my neck in debt with no way out so my rational thought is whats the point in living ???
|Posted by anonymous at October 31, 2011|
My only son committed suicide Oct.31,1999 - My darling wife of 43 years did the same on May 10,2010. I have a daughter 42 that seems to blame me for their deaths and will have nothing to do with me.
My son had a wife and 5 children when he took his life after losing his job, his home, and his wife to divorce.
My wife fell, broke her back, and couldn't get the doctors to believe just how much pain she was suffering, and took her life when I was away buying groceries.
I am 69 years old, living all alone in a huge house with nothing but my darling wife's little chihuahua and my memories of when I was a family man.
They are wonderful memories and they are all that I have to live for now.
Each day is nothing but a consistant repitition of previous days,television, playing with the chihuahua,checking for mail that never comes,paying a phone bill for a phone that never rings,and talking to my departed wife as if she was still here with me. Life for me is a heavy weight around my shoulders that gets heavier with each passing day. I bought a .45 caliber handgun and keep it for the day that all this finally gets to me. If it is true that there is life after death, I long to be with my dear sweet wife again forever and always.
|Posted by jeff at October 31, 2011|
I am so ugly, I am covered in red oily zits. Im fat and im 34. No girl has ever looked at me. Im a virgin and never kissed a girl. I hate myself. But I know one day I will get a hooker and be ok. Even hookers tell me no.
|Posted by Frederick at October 31, 2011|
I am 26 years old, still single and never had a gf before, due to my low self esteem and concern of my look because I am fat, whenever I am with girls I always find uneasy, makes me hard to ask a girls out.
My work getting sucks too, unable to focus on work and always way behind my schedule. The boss had warmed me that if she heard another complaint I will be kick.
Felt lost and depress now, I know my family always support me still I unable to go through myself this stage, started to skip work now and play games at home.
Life kinda sucks now
|Posted by anonymous at October 31, 2011|
i stumbled onto this sight idk where to start or wht to even say
i guess it starts with me falling in love with my best friend who is a lesbian(im a straight guy) we both used to be really close and then one day got real drunk and had sex, she said pretty much it was a mistake and she was super gay so we continue to be friends and maybe i have lost some of wht i felt for her but i still love her still care about her so much now on a side note my best friend of my 3 yrs outa high school im 20 is no longer my best friend i try to help him out by getting us this sick deal on a place and we could both better ourselves but he lost his job and i spent 2 mnths providing for him and his gf well one night we were all drunk and i relized all this and basically blew up on him and we were never right after tht, he jst barley moved out and tried to burn my house down a farewell gift, idk im in huge debt cause of him and now i have no best friend i try nd read and do hobbies bt i cant focus, i have had thoughts of suicide bt jst thoughts im a huge pot head so usually in a ok mood, but lately i feel like everyone is breaking off me all my frienmds i feel so alone and i havnt ever been in a "serious relation ship" ive been with chicks here and there have had sex with a total of 4 girls bt none of which i am currently with, i just really want and need a life partner someone who i can rely on i want it to be my lesbian friend bt tht will never be :( i feel so alone so depressed and feel my life is jst getting worse nd worse, and im a very good person id say i have real good karma bt idk shit aint workin out
thanks for leting me vent
good vibes and
|Posted by ME at October 30, 2011|
winners never quit and quitters never win, they say .............
but thats arguable!
im a south african female in my early twenties, still a student, so unfortunately not independant. i feel like every aspect of my life is in a slump. iv a reallly messed up family, slow progreesing career, health issues, no friends, horrible mother and depressed about it all.
i wanna die and can see it through, just need a way> i dont know a foolproof successful way.
|Posted by anonymous at October 30, 2011|
I honestly dont know where to begin, should I start by talking about how I've had "everything I wanted" or how "I've lost everything so much I couldnt care less anymore" nah I thInk I'll juss ramble on and on trying to vent to completely random people since I only have one friend and he juss so happens to be the biggest douche I kno(but I have horrible separation issues so I say fuck it I might as well put up with it rather than be all alone) so needless to say I dont talk to him, since I have to keep up with his facade(of being a tough asshole) so here I am spilling my guts to people I'll most likely never meet. I've been engaged before, she walked out on me one month before the wedding. That was two years ago and I still haven't been able to be with, much less trust another woman since her. It was over a year before we spoke again, and by then she had already been with other men(she's currently living with her boyfriend) and it kills me to think that, that used to be me. Everynow and then she calls me late at night when she's drunk(her boyfriend works nights) and since she knows I still love her I have to sit on the fone and talk to her even if it's not wLhat I want to hear or talk about, we've exchanged pictures and had some fun on the phone before(I swear she gets off on making me miserable) a couple months ago we even made plans to "hang out"( we made these "plans" while she was drunk so obviously nothing happened) i told her that the only reason we made those pl...
|Posted by anonymous at October 30, 2011|
So I'm never one to complain, but lately I have been feeling worse and worse. After 18 years of marriage, my parents got divorced. 3 months after, my mom married a guy who was sexually abusive to me. I have never felt like I have fit in with anyone. It seems as though nobody cares to get to know me. I don't trust anyone because of the things that they have done, or allow happen to me. I finally got the courage to tell my mom about my step dad and she did nothing. It seemed as though when I would tell her how scared I felt she got mad at me. Because of the abusive I've had from men, I brush guys off when they try and talk to me. Because I've never dated in highschool at all because of this, I am called a lesbian. My dad was physically abusive to me when my parents were still married as well. I don't know what I should do, but I am just trying to seek some good advice.
|Posted by Finmajor1 at October 30, 2011|
OK got a BA laid off lost everything but some of my family. Four Adopted kids one natural much later. Three of the four couldn't use me for money so I suck. Good part my youngest adopted son and my natural son are what helps me hang on. Working at an $8.10 per hour job with a BA. THE AMERICAN DREAM IS DEAD. Life sucks.
|Posted by Erica at October 29, 2011|
the thing is my life acually is really good.
i have a home, family, education, money, a dog, "friends", and all the ideals that your supposed to be happy with.
i should be thankful and happy for everything i have but i cant help to just hate everything about it. i feel so selfish for hating my life because i have it so good and others would kill to live even remotely like me. i dont know why i hate this lifestyle so much but i do. i thought about running away or dropping out of school or not going to college or something because i hate this type of : school, college, job, family, death; cycle type of routine living.
im board, miserable, fitting in, and pretty much meaningless as of now, life
i obviously want to change but in todays society its like your going to become homeless and fail miserable if you dont do what everybody else is doing (college/job/family)
i know many people would think im a brat or self-centered or something but as hard as i try i just cant make myself be happy with who i am....and i have no idea how to change that without disappointing everybody and even myself.....
so i jsut accept how much my life sucks and dont do anything to change it which makes me hate my life more b.c. i know i could
|Posted by anonymous at October 29, 2011|
Something very disturbing is happening to me, it is moving in an undetermined direction at an accelerated rate and I donít see a way to control it. I tried to take hold of this before it took me but I couldn't.
Iíve reached the point where I am seriously considering alternatives to this life. The fact that every scripture or law mentions that giving up on life is not the right thing to do doesn't seem to mean much anymore. I am starting to notice there are so many others that have found no other option but to follow this choice. In todayís fast paced guiltless society, maybe those laws of right and wrong have changed like many of the rules and religions that evolved over the centuries.
Maybe all the rules are BS and the fact that leaving life rather than suffering through it may be the better decision to make. Quantum physics, parabolic calculus, the vivid dream Ö whateverÖ. theyíre all theories about life alternatives which temp people to seek a way out. Truth is, no one knows if itís right or wrong, maybe that thing called a soul just drifts off into a dreamlike state for awhile then disappears forever. There are so many ways to ponder the outcome.
Iím not trying to condone my decision or get others to sanction it, I think Iím looking for something that will change my reasoning into a more positive tone of hope but itís not easy to inspire someone like me. I grew up and lived life very fast and am most likely destined to leave it behind ju...
|Posted by Jane Doe at October 29, 2011|
I don't really know how to start this. So, I know people have had some petty messed up stuff happen to them, so I feel bad talking about my miniscule problems but I have to vent to someone. I grew up with an alcoholic father and sometimes alcoholic mother. I have been hit by my father multiple times with belt and with hand. I was almost punched by my dad when he was drunk but I ducked out of the way. I battled with depression for awhile because I didn't have any friends. I also had struggles with OCD but they are under control. I feel like I had separation anxiety and social problems. I want to get therapy but my parents won't let me. My parents always call me bad things and they are never proud of me. I can't do anything right. Nothing was keeping me on thus earth except my dream of becoming a detective, but my parents won't let me he one. they say I have to be a doctor or some high paying career. I don't care about money I just want to help people. I Have slowly developed anger issues as well. I feel like I seriously want to hurt people and I have before, lik my brother. He is the only one I Have left since I feel neglected. I am tearing up as I am writing this but I feel ashamed because my dad says crying is for babies. This is all I have to say.
|Posted by Betrayed at October 29, 2011|
I'm in my early 50s and I've been married now for over 20 years. I like sex but I'm a pretty insecure person (I have a lot of baggage from my childhood) so a little timid about initiating and I've had very few partners before marriage. I'm in good physical shape still, 6' tall and just under 180pounds while my wife has let herself go a little and has gained a fair bit of weight.
Sometimes she seems a little distant and when I do make overtures for sex I don't get the sense she's interested. We do have sex, just not frequently - I end up masturbating a lot for release. We have two teenage kids, a nice suburban home, very little debt - probably looks pretty good from the outside, used to look pretty good to me too.
About three years back I lost my pretty high paying management job due to a reorganization - I'd always been the primary breadwinner, but it was a miserable job.
I looked around for a while but was really having a hard time even getting interviews despite a pretty strong resume. I suspected it was my age. Around the same time my wife got the opportunity to get a better job (which I'd always thought she deserved but she was stuck in a job where she did all the work and got no recognition / promotion). She wasn't sure about it, but I believed in her - I've always been her biggest cheerleader.
She took the job while I started up my own work-from-home business so I could take care of the kids (Mr. Mom), do all the picking up ...
|Posted by anonymous at October 29, 2011|
My Kids Dad is abusive, He calls me the bitch. When he doesnt want to talk about somehting he screams at me and calls me Bitch. He gets angry and says I am calling him a liar so we can never sort anything out about our kids. He smashes up our house, he smashes up everything then dumps me, for 9 years he has dumped me everytime he gets angry, then I started fighting back and arguing back this year we had a fight and then he tried to commit suicide, his family think its my fault because he was always angry telling them I am such a bitch. They dont know what He has done, tried to rape me, hit me, held me down while he screams at me.Once at christmas he screamed at me for 3 days in a row and I had to cook and pretend it was fine for our kids but then he would start screaming again. Now his counsellers say its because he is depressed that he does this stuff, so I am trying to support him but he just makes me cry all the time, I fell so sad that he treats me like this when I love him and I am trying my best to be supportive and caring, I care for our kids well, he just switches on the tv for them, I cook meals help at church and try to have a circle of friends but he makes me not do things, just stay at home because he gets angry and makes me cry then I cant go out.Today is my birthday and My best friend threw me a party, I didnt go,I had to say I was sick my eyes are red swollen from crying and I keep starting to cry, he yelled at me from when he got home. I cant leave he wont let me he holds me down so I cant go.
|Posted by worthless at October 29, 2011|
I feel so alone. I have no friends, I try to talk to people but it seems like no one wants to be around me..they all have better things to do. I am 21, I know that i am pretty but some guys say they are intimidated and others just say I am undateable. I just want a friend that I can spend time with. Every weekend I usually spend alone in my room because the few friends that I do have never ask me to do anything. I just want to feel loved.
|Posted by anonymous at October 29, 2011|
So, last year there was this girl I liked, and I asked her out... and was rejected. She said that she wasn't interested in dating in high school anymore. (Btw, she's really christian and im an atheist, and yes, that might've had everything to do with the rejection...) So I was cool with being turned down. Until the next month she hooks up with a guy she only knew for about a few hours... at a goddamn party. She said that she wasn't interested in dating only a few weeks earlier. This pissed me off. But, that's not what got me. What got me was, that she described me as nice, sweet, smart, perfect, a good person to talk to, cute, and funny... and she hooks up with a super christian asshole. I'm by no means ugly, but this guy had me beat in the looks department. And he was an immature jerk who constantly flirted with other girls, was already 18, jobless, couldn't drive, and in general, a failure at life. I can get over hurt feelings, but I have pride damn it. She stomped it into the ground with this guy. She always bitch about him to me. And it only stomped my pride and feelings into the ground further everytime I heard her open her mouth. I don't know what happened to them afterword, cause I completely stopped talking to her...
So riddle me this: How was I, a smart, funny, and sweet person, out done by a random guy whose only redeeming qualities were that he looked better than me and loved jesus a little too much? And why has Murphy's law replaced karma, because that's all I can percieve this as. A case of Murphy's law.