Hey, I feeling a bit down now, I feel trapped and helpless
I am over 30, my career is not going anyway, to improved on the situation that I took up a part University degree
Work and study is drowning me, my social life is practically zero due to this commitments
Met up with female class mate of mine just now to help out with my assignment submission. She actually rejected on love previous cauase she has a boyfriend a year ago. I told myself that that objective of the meeting is help clear my doubt of my assignment . That feeling of wanting her is there the whole time and it got worst when her boyfriend calls her up wish sweet dreams right in front of me, God, please send an lighting bolt and strike down the boyfriend!!!
In the end my mind was clouded, and couldn't understand any of the facts about assignment that she explained to me but still have to pretend that I am unaffected.
Now I am thinking I should distance myself from her completely, she is bad news to me cause contact with her makes me angry, sad and distracted. For many people, advise for this situation the age old phase "Be her friend it the mature thing to do".Being matured sure sucks a lot. Time sure did not heal anything
All this seems to raked up other disappointment in the faculty of love, here another one I had a year and half ago, this lady I we out with for about a month, everything seems to go well but 2 days after we slept together everything stop abruptly with verbal insults regardless how I tried to talk to her in a amicably way. She had always describe our relationship as 'friend with benefits', after a exhaustive search on the net for this term then I came to the conclusion that she is person that will have sex with you, role play with you as lovers but will never commit.
I do not know how many more of these set back can I take, all want is a career, get married with someone love and have kids, the normal life the rest of the human race is having!!!!!
God!!!! I really need a break in all aspects of life!!!!! If you can't give it to me strike me down now!!! Put me out of this shit called life coz it sucks!!!!!