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I don't fear hell, because I'm already living it.

Posted by Suicide On My Mind at July 20, 2011
Tags: Abuse  Anxiety  2011 July

I'm almost 30 and still a virgin. Never been kissed, touched or hugged by the opposite sex. People hate me. Sh*t, I hate me. What's there to love? An extremely overweight, unattractive, anxiety-ridden, nervous wreck with little to no social skills. Never had a real-life relationship or any real intimacy with a live human being. I have been emotionally and physically abused by my father and step-father since I were a child. I was always told that I am nothing but a loser. Now, I'm starting to accept and believe it, Everyone feels awkward around because of social anxiety disorder. I am isolated most of the time because of it. I want to end my life, but fail to do so. I know I will end old and alone if I keep on living.


New Comment

By anonymous at 02,Sep,11 05:10

What a pitiful fucking mess you are, you managed to live this long and you can't even get your life together.

I say end your life, you have nothing/nobody keeping you from doing it except your own cowardice.
By anonymous at 02,Sep,11 08:10

Good idea! You first.
By anonymous at 03,Sep,11 12:07 Fold Up

You are an evil, stupid, piece of shit. You don't ever try to convince people to kill themselves that are clearly calling out for help. What if he actually does because of what you wrote? That would be a stain upon your soul.
By anonymous at 10,Feb,12 21:37 Fold Up

What a sad, pathetic piece of work you are. How can you be so unbelieveably twisted, that you actually tell people to kill themselves?
It's sickening.
I loathe people like you, and especially you.
By anonymous at 05,Jun,12 03:50 Fold Up

Hello, I finally found this site again and looked back on my post. I gotta say, I was a total dick back then for what I said and I believe I owe the OP an apology. I've been dealing with some serious problems myself and most everything I said in that comment was me projecting. I'm not a bad person, i've just had alot of issues in the past and I realized that what I said here what just uncalled for. So if you're reading this OP I hope you're alright, and you are certainly not a coward for living this long.
By anonymous at 28,Aug,12 21:21 Fold Up

That's the most horrible thing I have ever heard anybody say! No one ever deserves what this person has gone/ is going through. If I knew this person and they were of the opposite sex, I would LOVE them, Hell, if this person was of the same sex I would love them. Please don't end your life!

By anonymous at 02,Sep,11 08:09

Well, Id fuck you if you have a job, and let me tell you something: read the post made by the heroin addict to spots above you or about the lady whose sig other is a 7 time convicted felon and she lives in a cockroach infested slum and had to let her baby sleep in a shitty diaper. Some of us broads aren't fucking stupid. Trust me in this economy, if you really want a relationship, get a job, get a decent car. I don't give two shits if you are 500 pounds and a 45 year old virgin. There are some women out there who don't like abuse, who have seen their fucking mother get beat and who have lived in poverty and don't have the damn tolerance for misery, who would be willing to be with someone who has his shit together regardless of what he looks like (and not having an std is a plus). Just make some money and dont chu worry about it. Might have to find someone online if you don't go out much or someone who works at a gas-station or wherever you frequent. A sense of humor is also a plus.

Please don't kill yourself, we need people to cancel out the heroin addicted assholes.
By anonymous at 02,Sep,11 08:13

Ps My husband was a fat 34 year old virgin and he treats me great.
By anonymous at 06,Jan,12 03:03 Fold Up

Will you fuck me?

By anonymous at 02,Sep,11 15:42

Just have faith in God!
By anonymous at 03,Jan,12 18:49

and youll go to heaven as 70 yr virgin

By anonymous at 03,Sep,11 22:42

By anonymous at 04,Sep,11 22:46

By anonymous at 05,Sep,11 13:32

Live and spite the assholes! It makes them miserable, thats what I do.
By anonymous at 13,Oct,11 18:45

Go f*ck yourself, if anything your the failure!!!
By anonymous at 27,Oct,11 10:23

Yall are the kind of people that cause suicide well guess what your gonna cause him to go to hell because he killed him self but you will be Judged by The great Lord Almighty And you will join him if you read this man dont listen to them Email me God loves you and wants you to live I love you God loves you remember that
16for God did so love the world, that His Son -- the only begotten -- He gave, that every one who is believing in him may not perish, but may have life age-during.
By anonymous at 13,Apr,12 07:21 Fold Up

just like your dads condomn
By anonymous at 11,Nov,11 08:23 Fold Up

Thats sweat..Please Marry me? Asshole..why even be on this site is you cant except that people in here are at the lowest? Do you really think that your comment makes you any better than this person?
By anonymous at 16,Aug,12 12:02 Fold Up

It's nice to put out all your bad emotions. I know you're not here just to talk shit, right? You're here because something inside you is pulling you down, like every other people around here, like me.

By anonymous at 07,Nov,11 05:08

Actually, I think your life is great! The abuse, I've been abused before too, verbally, ohysically, emotionally. I understand. As for the virginity thing, is it that big a deal? I don't know if you're a guy or girl, but either way staying a virgin is not a bad thing. At least you can still choose which person you give your first time to. A lot of us have already lost that chance! As for the social anxiety disorder, you could seek some counselling to cope better with it. Small steps, and you'll find love. Take care!

By anonymous at 05,Dec,11 08:29

I'm just like you, except I'm 19, not really overweight and female.
By anonymous at 08,Jan,12 17:08

can you email me??

By anonymous at 09,Dec,11 02:00

sometimes you should see yourself in the mirror rather offer yourself some false reality of hopelessness and seek and destroy the old you and stay in ladder climb mode

By anonymous at 10,Dec,11 22:47

First of all, don't read half these comments, and maybe talk to someone you trust about finding someone you'd like to date/have a relationship with. Sometimes it can be very healing for someone who is overweight to date someone who is also overweight, because a lot of your problems can be faced together. Don't kill yourself. It's a permenant solution to a temporary problem. Just keep swimming! :)

By anonymous at 25,Dec,11 09:55

If somebody truly wanted to end their life, they would. But you haven't. So I think there's a reason to that. I'm severly depressed right now myself, and about every hour of every day I wish I was dead. But then I think to myself, "If I TRULY wanted to die, I would find a way to make it happen. But I haven't. And I won't. And no matter how much I think I want to die, I think there's a reason why I haven't offed myself. And that reason is hope."

By at 29,Dec,11 21:04

Well, I wouldn't feel awkward around you. And you know what? Life's what you make it, so make it good. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

:) Seriously. You don't like it? Change. I know it's hard but just do it.

Eat healthy, and walk for one single hour a day. (I know someone who did this, and she lost ONE HUNDRED TWENTY pounds in a year!)

Please. I want you to be happy. Just eat healthy, and your life will turn out well. But you have to start right this second.

By anonymous at 03,Jan,12 18:44

"Capitalize God."

By anonymous at 04,Apr,12 13:53

Fuck god

By anonymous at 01,Feb,12 21:06

Here's a therapy idea:
1) Buy an Xbox 360
2) Buy and play Skyrim
Let me know when you pass this game all the way what you think!
By anonymous at 15,Apr,12 10:59

ur a bitch!!

By anonymous at 16,Feb,12 12:20

anyone who says anything negative to you dont even bother listening. they obviously have problems too or else they would never be on this site. they wont admit that of course cause theyre the ones who are cowards, but we all got problems. if these people felt good about their lives they wouldnt waste time being on this site bashing you about yours. they have problems that probably hurt them just as much as yours hurt you. just listen to the positive. the people who post negative comments are pathetic and we all know it. let them stay miserable.

By at 04,Apr,12 11:30

just have a long wank and then wank again til youre sore thatll fix your problems, if that doesnt help just cut your own throat you fat piece of shit OINK FUCKING OINK
By anonymous at 28,May,12 18:00

your an asswipe

By anonymous at 31,May,12 19:34

There is always someone worse off than yourself, all i can say is if you don’t believe you can change your life, why punish yourself?

By anonymous at 15,Jul,12 18:44

Hey now,i know life can be rough.I suffer from aspergers syndrome & bi-polar disorder.If you need to talk or anything i'll be more than willing.

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