Well where do I begin?! I think it all started when my parents got divorced... when I was 5. I'm 22 now. My mom took my sister and I to the apartment of the man I call my stepdad now, we'll call him Jimmy, the same exact night she left my dad. For a while after that all happened, my dad seemed to care to see us pretty regularly until he met the woman, we'll call her Judy, he married when I was 9. She had 4 sons and didn't seem to care about anybody else, but them. My dad stopped coming around for months at a time. It got to where I had to call him crying for him to come get us because life at home wasn't all that great either. My mom has always been a bi-polar bitch up until just recently. She used to make my sister and I do ALL of the house work and would call us names and make fat jokes if we didn't get it done... my sister and I were only like 8 and 9. There was this one time that I think my dad didn't come get us for close to a year. My aunt, his sister, had to come get us "for him" because obviously he didn't care enough to himself. After that, he seemed to get a little better about seeing us. We'd go over there like every other weekend or so. Two of "Judy's" sons, we'll call them Greg and Shane, were nothing but horn dogs all the time and always tried to "do it" with my sister and I.... it was the the two younger ones, Greg being the youngest and Shane being the second to youngest. The two older ones actually treated us like we were their sisters. We never gave in to the horn dogs though. The older one of the two, Shane, grew out of it when he started getting girlfriends of his own. The younger one, Greg, not so much. He would try and try EVERY time we went over there. We finally got to move in with my dad after years of trying, but mom never would let us. My sister and I finally gave in to Greg. I think she did long before me though. It really messed with her head because he was nothing but a jerk to her. She moved back with mom, but I stayed. He continued the trying behavior with me, but I didn't give in right away. I saw what my sister went through with him and I didn't wanna go through the same thing. I started to fall for him because I felt that he really cared about me. I told him once that I wanted to wait til I get a boyfriend before I do that and he asked me if I wanted him to be my boyfriend. I said no, but I had really developed feelings for him so I gave in anyway. We had "did it" pretty regularly. It'd always begin as us watching a movie cuddling together. He'd wait til he heard my dad and Judy go to sleep and then we would have sex. He would throw me away like a piece of trash afterwards. All he cared about with me was sex, and I was a fool in love. There was even one time I thought I got pregnant and I told my dad and he thought it was from me going to my mom's house... I couldn't tell him that I was sleeping with his wife's son. He was the first boy I had ever fell in love with and all he did was played with my mind, just like he did my sister. I guess I was stupid for letting him do it. After years of that hell, I moved back in with my mom. She had gotten a little better. I met one of my sister's friends (ex-boyfriend), we'll call him John, and I thought he was really nice, but I didn't wanna interfere. I started going back to high school there (freshman year) where my mom lived and it was ok for a while. Well my sophomore year (April, 2005) I really started to have strong feelings for John. He was seeing someone at the time, so he was off limits. It broke my heart very much because I REALLY liked him. I poured my heart out on a piece of notebook paper and let my sister read it. She told me she was gonna give it to him and I didn't object because I WANTED him read it. Well the same day he read it, I went by him at lunch and he seemed to ignore me. I got really upset because I thought that I scared him away. Anyways the next day he came up to me and gave me his number and told me that if I ever wanted to talk, to give him a call. So I started calling him and we would talk like everyday on the phone. One day, April 28, 2005 he finally asked me out. He told me he broke up with his girlfriend and wanted to go out with me... of course I said yes. Well we are still together to this day, but it has been a crazy, bumpy ride. I feel like I have a really low self-esteem because of the jerk-off, Greg! By the way, I didn't say this before, but Greg would stay out all night fucking other girls and tell me all about it when he knew I loved him. I'm always giving John hell because I can't trust him and I'm scared he's gonna run off with someone else. I don't even trust him around his own sister because I feel that they act the same towards each other as me and Greg used to act. I just think something is wrong with my head. I really love John so much, but I keep putting him through hell. Sorry this is so long. Please don't say anything negative, I suck at telling a story.. even if it is my life. | |
New Comment