I am 40 yrs old women. My boyfriend who I love just went back to jail and will remain there for God knows how long. I love him but I also know he is not the one for me. He is stingy and mean. But he is the only one who would talk to me everyday and he has been doing that for the past 4 years. Now he is gone in jail.
I have tons of student loan that I can't afford to pay back.
I live in a condo where upstairs neighbor is a bitch who stays up all night and play TV. I can't afford to live anywhere else.
My job market is shrinking and I don't know how long my job will last. And I don't know if I can do any other job.
I can't find a boyfriend because the ones I like don't like me, the ones who likes me I am not interested.
I hate being lonely. I was going to go back to my ex boyfriend but he went back to jail.
This world is just an endless suffering hell. A living hell which always finds ways for you to suffer.
I have no family. My dad was sexually abusive and also beat us up everyday when I grew up. I think he raped my sister but she wouldn't admit. He locked her in a room with him and when they came back out, she was crying with blood on her thigh and he had many scratches and looked guilty.
I never talk to him or her and I won't until he is dead. He is still not dead! He is 76 and healthy. Unbelievable. I wish he dies so maybe I can at least visit my mother and sister. But no, he lives on. Fucker.
I now have a terrible flew and feel horrible. Hell. If everyone dies, why not die now. LIfe sucks and has no good ending. Fuck you.